First couplet: The actors from all walks of life in the southeast and northwest are really wonderful
Second couplet: People fake happiness every moment in spring, summer, autumn and winter
First couplet: Old Niu returns to his home to live in peace Later years
Second line: The little tiger comes out and shocks the world
First line: Regardless of singing, dancing and language
Second line: It is the same every year
First line: A hodgepodge of Spring Festival Galas every year
Second line: The singing is exquisite every year
First line: You look forward to it and I look forward to the Spring Festival Gala
Second line: Zhao Chaqian and Liu Moqian never let the audience down
First line: Trying our best to innovate in every possible way
Second line: The whole family is happy and everyone is smiling
First line : Old faces and new works make the whole country laugh
Second line: Big stars and young actors gather together
First line: The Spring Festival Gala program is streamlined to six plus one
Second line: Benshan sketch Lucky Fifty-Two
First couplet: The same thing year after year
Second couplet: The sketch and cross talk sound boring
First couplet: One night Night after night it’s still the Spring Festival Gala
Second line: Year after year it’s still the New Year
First line: You see it, I see it, everyone sees it every year
Second line: The sun will shine today and tomorrow, and the sky will be new every year
First line: The sound of the waves during the Spring Festival Gala remains the same
Second line: The audience comes and goes
First line: The Eight Immortals perform and make noise Spring Festival Gala
Second line: A happy night in Kyushu
First line: Bring the blessed little tiger to pay New Year greetings
Second line: Magic hand Liu Qian turns into new year's money
First line: Spring Festival Gala every year, every year
Second line: Spring Festival, Spring Festival, every family, every family
First line: Every year, every year, every year is the same
Second line: I have to watch it every year after watching it every year
First line: Good singing, good dancing, good sketches, people all over the country have a good appetite
Second line: Beautiful makeup, The people are beautiful, the mood is beautiful, the spring scenery is beautiful in the north and south of the country
The first line: The newborn calf is awesome in the Year of the Ox
The second line: The three uncles of the old and young tiger team, the tiger head and the brain
The first line ：Welcome the New Year every year in the new century and new decade
Second line: New programs and new ideas are wonderful every year
First line: The golden cannon whistles and the Spring Festival Gala
Second line: Dragons and tigers leap and vibrate China
First line: Dragons and tigers leap and sing in prosperity
Second line: Orioles sing and swallows dance in peace
First line: Taurus carries the weight of spring and late spring, and it is hard to please every year
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Second line: The jade tiger welcomes Ben Shan, Ben Shan is not short of money every year
First line: Experts and masters speak loudly and speak high level
Second line: Beautiful men and beautiful women are magnificent Be beautiful
First couplet: Zhu Jun and Zhou Tao have hosted for many years, which is very old-fashioned
Second couplet: Shenyang Northeast sketch is too vulgar
First couplet: Twenty-four solar terms, The competition between heaven and earth
The second line: Fifty-six wonderful flowers, the same spring in harmony
The horizontal line: The unity of heaven and man
The first line: Heaven and earth, harmony and human beings , He Rong Hua Xia
Second line: Beautiful songs, beautiful dances, beautiful flowers, beauty is tonight
Horizontal comment: Happy New Year
First line: Harmony, harmony and prosperity
The second line: The blessings of the people every month and every year
The horizontal line: The country is peaceful and the people are safe
The first line: The party's heart, the people's heart, and the unity of all people, the spring breeze of scientific development is rising
Second line: The destiny of the country, the destiny of the family, the grand destiny, and the rising sun of social harmony
Horizontal line: Everything is updated
The upper line: It is not too late to welcome the spring after the Spring Festival Gala
The second line
：Sleepless night of Lantern Festival
Second line: Fifty-six flowers bloom, colorful Liuhe Spring
First line: Nine states celebrate together, seven horses and eight sheep come to the Spring Festival Gala in the Year of the Dog in harmony
1. My child, your degree is in prenatal education, right?
2. What substance does silicon and water form? Bastard soup.
3. I am kind and I tolerate it
4. Economic problems are followed by style problems.
5. The stone path on the cold mountain in the distance is sloping, and the white clouds are there for me and him. I originally thought that the prince would meet the princess, but it was indeed like a dinosaur meeting a frog. When will the bright moon come? Look up and see for yourself, and ask you how much sorrow you can have. , just like a pot of Erguotou.
6. I want to wish you a happy New Year. When I send it out, it’s time to eat moon cakes. If you have any questions, ask me anytime. The result is, if you have any questions, kiss me anytime. Can you pay cash on delivery? ?The result is: can you survive until the payment?
7. Your best score in the draft was 5,000 to 4,900, and you were nicknamed "Knockout Lang".
8. You can walk now, but you are walking according to the schedule. 20. I am a premature baby, born nine months prematurely. 21. The baby always kisses his mother. Mom always says, Mom, I'm hungry, Mom, I'm thirsty, Mom, my clothes are here. When I see my dad, I can only say: Dad, where is my mom?
9. Be careful not to squeeze your tongue out of the Chinese knot
10. You are a grandson and a grandson. Why are you such a grandson?
11. What is going on in your head? Gutter oil?
12. You, at first glance, there is someone outside. I, at first glance, have debts outside.
13. You are more talented than me, only one or two!
14. I’m going to find a boyfriend who owns a house, but you go find a mother-in-law who doesn’t want a house!
15. This money, my dad relies on it for old age, my mother relies on it for social security, my son relies on it for college entrance examination, and the whole family relies on it for food and clothing. If it is lost, my dad can’t support him in old age, and my mother can’t get social security. , my son can't take the college entrance examination, and the whole family can't have enough food and clothing. I have to be like a cow, getting up early at night, dragging and running quickly, eating milk and milking grass.
16. How can a person wander around the world without getting stabbed? If a man doesn’t learn bad habits, he will be kicked sooner or later!
17. If you dare to look for your sister outside, I will find you a big brother.
18, 26, 45. When passing by Baomi Di, 78 words are omitted here. . . . ,
19. Could it be that if there are pits on the road, you will not take the road!
20. How can you, a pig farmer, do something like a fox?
21. Son, did you come here from the local station or the central station?
22. When you were happy, I turned around and left. When you are unhappy, I will appear at any time.
23. Hello! Please hang up
24. If you look like a bun, don’t blame the dog for following you.
25. I wish that the money in everyone’s pockets will be as bulging as my wife’s belly!
26. Fortunately, I have mental illness and I feel more energetic.
27. I’m going to find my boyfriend who owns a house. You go find your mother-in-law who doesn’t want a house!
28. Please press one for the first marriage, press two for the second marriage, and press two for the third marriage. Please press three
29. I am me, a firework with different colors
30. Said: I remembered the wrong date, I went out yesterday. Question: So why did it arrive now? Answer: Traffic jam.
32. I clearly ordered a yellow skirt, why did you send me a purple skirt? If the color is different, you can change it! Change it? Why should I change it if it looks so good! Why did you give me a negative review when it looks so good? I I obviously ordered a yellow skirt,,,,
33. I can obviously rely on my face to make a living, but I rely on my talent
34. A house is not a home. Where there is love, there is a home.
35. It’s okay, you’re not afraid of being scalded by boiling water;
36. These eyes really save your face, are they original?
37. You What’s your surname? It’s a good surname. Why do you have a good surname? My father’s surname is good!
38. I’m telling you, am I telling you right?
39. Wait Let's be friends when your hair grows to your waist.
40. I am not a potato, I am a kiwi. Is there any difference? Kiwis are hairy.
41. Become a regular employee? Give me back to my sister, yes, yes, if she becomes a regular employee, won’t I become a sister?
42. You are more talented than me, only this one or two !
43. What does a husband do? He just coaxes his wife.
44. There was a time when the four twos of Landlords took the two kings out.
46. This year is the Year of the Rabbit. The cunning rabbit has three holes, but we are still missing one!
47. You can either call me Xiao Hao or Dajian. Don’t be mean or mean. Will it reveal my character more?
48. The first couplet of Baishan filial piety First, go home often and take a look; second line: The most evil of all kinds is to go to a brothel.
49. Now you give me another 50,000 yuan? Can the three of us be landlords together?
50. Since I married you, I have never seen money. Card
51. Five elements are missing in my life.
52. People, their eyes are black and their hearts are red. But when the eyes turn red, the hearts turn black.
53. You wear stockings just to prove how elastic they are!
54. When I applied for a visa to go to Thailand, there was no news for a long time. It turned out that it was written as Qin.
55. They all talked about you, why don’t you talk about them?--I can’t do it!
56. What you eat is milk and what you squeeze is grass.
57. I don’t think you will be able to make it into the top three in a competition between two people.
58. If you can’t let go of your wife, I won’t be able to exchange her for a house.
59. It is better to have a good wife than to have a good house.
60. My mood when I go to work every day is heavier than when I go to the grave!
61. My sneaky face was wasted.
62. Why are you unhappy? I found out who is prettier than you
63. I admit that I am a second-rate fool, but I am glad that I still have a big fool! !
64. Brother, you are not stupid, you are mentally retarded.
65. At that time, my little brain suddenly had an idea, bang, I lent him another ten thousand.
66. If you want to be handsome, you have to have long hair. --Li Yong said.
67. When is the best time to buy a house? The year before last!
68. I’m not talking about you, you really treat yourself as an outsider
69. Divorce is a pear, a flash marriage is a thunder, and a trial marriage is a persimmon. , you have to grit your teeth in secret marriage.
70. My friends and I were shocked.
71. Talking about money hurts feelings. Talking about feelings hurts money.
72. Don’t squeeze our grandson like a grandson.
73. If you love me, explode me.
74. We elegant people don’t even look at it, it’s too vulgar.
75. If you don’t manage your finances, your finances will ignore you.
76. Powder fractures throughout the body. Then you are a scumbag
77. You let people pedal once a day, you are a bicycle;
78. When two tigers compete, one of them will be injured, she is a tigress
79. Sister Zhiling to Dong Qing: Take off, you are more experienced than me.
80. This flat face looks like a manhole cover;
81. What should I do if I am poisoned by gas? Smoking a cigarette to calm down.
82. How could you, a pig farmer, do something like a fox?
83. Africa doesn’t have this price either!
84. Put down a hook, hook up another, discharge an electric charge, and electrocute everything.
85. I am going to hold a wedding with your wife
86. Look at the gestures, 1, 2, 3, vomit.
87. This is not an apple, this is a landmine.
88. The third joy! I am about to divorce my beloved wife!
89. Bury the experts!
90. The price of pigs has increased, and I have become valuable.
91. Husband: Did you quarrel with someone again? Wife: No, with the dog!
92. I don’t want to buy the house, I can buy it if I want~~~
93. My scarf is so thin~
94. A harmonious society pays attention to egg setting.
95. Rhubarb, I look down on you.
96. Is this the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau or a basin?
97. I am a writer, but not Mo Yan. I keep my mouth shut.
98. Zhang Guoli, immediately powerful; Zhu Jun, immediately a pig; Dong Qing, immediately kiss;
99. In the first line, filial piety comes first, often go home and see; in the second line: All kinds of evils First of all, go to the brothel for a walk.
100. I am so good-looking that I don’t need it anymore
101. If you don’t give me this money, I will make you spend this year on your knees.
102. Is the dolphin sound the sound you made with your buttocks during the audition?
103. The difference between our IQ is that of steamed buns and steamed buns.
104. Who is the outsider? Aunt Li is my wife. Host words for the Year of the Dog Spring Festival Gala, Year of the Dog Spring Festival composition, Year of the Dog moving couplets, Funny quotes from the Spring Festival Gala
Funny quotes from the Spring Festival Gala
1. I walk my dog ??at 30 miles!
2. I have a biological mother-in-law, a fourth uncle and a grandma!
3. Do you think your mother can come here empty-handed?
4. I am reluctant to leave my wife and cannot change my house.
5. Teacher, do I look like a chicken?
6. Listen to your words and subvert your outlook on life.
7. A house is not a home, but love is a home.
8. My dad is on the ranking list of whether he is convinced or not.
9. This is not an apple, this is a landmine.
10. If I can’t let go of my wife, I can’t exchange for a house.
11. Let’s put it this way, I used to open a big business.
12. If you look like this, you would be considered a copycat of gangsters.
13. It is better to have a good wife than to have a good house.
14. Which boss’s wife is not young these days?
15. I am a person who saves words and saves fertilizer plants.
16. He has a flat face and looks like a manhole cover.
17. What substance does silicon and water form? Wang Ba Tang.
18. The eunuch has no son, but you cannot live without a father.
19. My chest is tight, but you are banging in the face!
20. I don’t want to buy a house, I can buy it if I want.
21. Omit three words here. Save 10,000 words below.
22. Since I got mentally ill, I have become more energetic.
23. You can walk now. You are walking according to the schedule.
24. I can bear it! I earned more than 100 from this that day.
25. Which mental illness can be predicted with 100 yuan?
26. Auntie, do your family members know that you are so naughty?
27. Fortunately, after suffering from mental illness, I feel more energetic.
28. Leader, should I ask you to resign during the Chinese New Year?
29. How could you, a pig farmer, do something like a fox?
30. Why is it suddenly not cold anymore, and I still have a little heartburn.
31. Your flattery skills are in your blood.
32. You are more talented than me, only one or two!
33. Later he showed his ID card and said, "Comrade, I am a human being."
34. Auntie, where are you going to blow up the bunker?
35. You let people pedal once a day, you are a bicycle.
36. What should I do if I am poisoned by gas? Have a cigarette to calm down.
37. When two tigers compete, one of them will be injured. She is the tigress.
38. These two eyes really save your face, are they original?
39. Stewardess, give me a spicy hotpot with more meat!
40. Brother, you are not stupid, you are.
41. Don’t crowd our grandson like a grandson.
42. There was a time when the four twos of Landlords took the two kings out.
43. This is a good opportunity for your ancestors to commit suicide.
44. How can you, a pig farmer, do what a fox does?
45. Should I go to Huzhou or Fuzhou? Where is dad going?
46. What’s your surname? It’s a good surname. Why is your surname good? My father’s surname is good!
47. Let me tell you this, the thieves who came to my house always left with tears in their eyes.
48. Whole body powder fracture? , then you are a scumbag.
49. Sister Zhiling to Dong Qing: Take off, you are more experienced than me.
50. My son doesn’t look like me, and fortunately, he doesn’t look like my neighbor either.
51. Why don’t you take our child away before we leave?
52. He is a Cancer and I am a Pisces. Did you know each other from the seafood market?
53. This picture makes me intoxicated. If you don’t avoid it, I will scrap you.
54. Grandson! Showing a house full of gourds, do you think your grandma is a snake spirit?
55. You are more talented than me. Aren’t you just two more talented?
56. I really had no choice, so I played it back for you.
57. Husband: Did you quarrel with someone again? Madam: No, with the dog! .
58. The third joy! I am about to divorce my beloved wife!
59. This year is the Year of the Rabbit. There are three cunning rabbit holes, but we are still missing one!
60. It’s now time to take a closer look at the meaning of two meters and three meters.
61. I am heartless, and a group of boys are shouting in front of me, trying to fight with me.
62. A crow standing on a pile of coal can see the darkness of others but not itself.
63. Ridiculing Mr. Hua for speaking quickly: Your mouth is rented, are you in a hurry to return it?
64. The blue-faced Dalton stole the royal horse, and the red salary was not enough.
65. He is also a grandson, why is your grandson such a grandson?
66. I am a fool. Fortunately, I met a big fool.
67. Son, did you come from the local channel or the central channel?
68. I wish that the money in everyone’s pockets will be as bulging as my wife’s belly!
69. The cute kid imitating "Where Are We Going, Dad": Daddy, where are you going?
70. Trial marriage bites the persimmon, flash marriage bites the thunder, hidden marriage bites the teeth, divorce bites the pear.
71. The price of pigs has increased, and I have become valuable; the price of pigs has increased, because I have increased the price.
72. The person holding the broom may not be the cleaner, it may also be Harry Potter.
73. What is dolphin sound? The sound you made with your hips during the audition.
74. I am pretty, and a group of boys cheer me on. I am particularly proud of myself.
75. I have arms and legs, a nose and a mouth. My name is Jia Ling.
76. You are in love when you are only 25! So what are you doing at 25? I'll take care of you!
77. How can a man wander around the world without getting stabbed? If a man doesn’t learn to be bad, he will be kicked sooner or later!
78. People, their eyes are black and their hearts are red. But when the eyes turn red, the hearts turn black.
79. You, at first glance, there is someone outside. I, at first glance, have debts outside.
80. I was a premature baby. I was born prematurely for more than 9 months. You are not pregnant with the baby.
81. Wei Xiaobao wrestled with Kangxi. What happened to Wei Xiaobao in the end? Eunuch!
82. I have big eyes, a small mouth, a straight nose, long legs and S-shaped arms. My name is Qu Ying.
83. We want to be comfortable sitting on this chair, but the common people will not be comfortable!
84. How can a person wander in the rivers and lakes without getting stabbed? If a man doesn't learn to be bad, he will be kicked sooner or later.
85. Originally, a person’s eyes are black and his heart is red; but once his eyes are red, his heart becomes dark.
86. I’m going to find a boyfriend who owns a house, but you go find a mother-in-law who doesn’t want a house!
87. If you look like this, it means there are people outside, and if I look like this, it means there are debts outside.
88. When you are happy, I turn around and leave. When you are unhappy, I will appear at any time.
89. I have hooks in my eyes, and one hook will catch one. Your eyes are electrified, and one will be electrocuted to death.
90. I posted messages in my circle of friends saying that I was heartbroken. Some people comforted me, some sympathized with me, and some even got tired of me.
91. Don’t just think about what you don’t get, think more about what you have. will be happy.
92. In the first line, filial piety is the first, and you should go home often; in the second line, all evils, sexual immorality, are the first, go to a brothel.
93. I posted a message in my circle of friends, saying that I was heartbroken. No one comforted me, no one sympathized with me, and only a bunch of people liked it.
94. You can either call me Xiao Hao or Dajian. Don’t be mean or mean. Will it reveal more of my character?
95. Said: I remembered the wrong date, I went out yesterday. Question: So why did it arrive now? Answer: Traffic jam.
96. The reason why I married your uncle is because of that indestructible, unswerving, and unyielding sympathy!
97. Do we look like bad people in this image? Otherwise, my classmates all said that I wasted a sneaky face!
98. If the boss likes mahjong, I will take apart the music and play it. If the boss likes entertainment, I will string my great-grandfather’s relics together. The boss likes me. 2020 CCTV Year of the Rooster Spring Festival Gala
1. Sketch: "Big City, Little Love"
Performers: Liu Liang, Bai Ge, Guo Jinjie, etc.
①. This pose makes you look like the one in Mahjong Yaoji, what a win!
②. Then why did you marry me? I want to be sad.
③ Husband, give me five hundred yuan. How much? Four hundred. What do you want three hundred yuan for? I only have two hundred in my pocket. The most I can give him is one hundred, with a down payment of ten yuan.
④. I like the way my wife sits on the kang and counts money.
2. Sketch: "My Wife"
Performers: Cai Ming, Pan Changjiang, Pan Binlong
①. The higher the appearance, the greater the responsibility.
②. So embarrassing.
③. How can he get a wife with his appearance? People may not give it to him even if he picks up a courier.
④. My husband is so young and my son is so old. Can I lose my memory?
⑤. Stay with your wife, don’t stay together forever.
⑥. If you can’t remember it for a day, I will stay with you for a day; if you can’t remember it for a lifetime, I will stay with you for a lifetime. I haven’t been bullied enough by you.
3. Crosstalk: "Grandma Said"
Performers: Gao Xiaopan, You Xianchao
① What my grandma said is an old saying.
②. I look good when I smile - you look very funny!
③. Hitting the child on a rainy day - idle time is also idle.
④. Pushing with bare buttocks - you are going around in circles and embarrassing yourself.
⑤ Even if you fail, you must be proud.
⑥. What grandma said are those inner words that you didn’t want to hear when you were a child, but want to hear when you grow up but can’t.
4. Sketch: "True Love Forever"
Performers: Sun Tao, Yan Xuejing, Liu Yiwei
①. Good appearance, equivalent to PM250.
②. Fortunately, you stuck it in my cow dung. If you stuck it in the fertilizer, you might have become genetically modified!
③. When the child is born, he will grow on his buttocks. It's not a birthmark, it's a QR code. Scan it with your phone and you'll know who your biological father is.
④. Husband, husband, in turn is the husband (paying the bills).
⑤. My grandson Yijian finally has roots, and I have even thought of a nickname for the child - called grandson Yichuan.
5. Crosstalk: "New Reverie in the Tiger's Mouth"
Performers: Jiang Kun, Dai Zhicheng
① Thanks for refreshing the screen.
②. Evening rush hour.
③. It can’t survive. I guess it understands that coming out is not as good as it is - now we are fighting flies and tigers together.
6. Sketch: "One Son-in-law and Half a Son"
Performers: Shen Teng, Allen, Wei Xiang, Wu Jiang, Yang Yuanhan
①, Take me Do you think this 100,000 yuan in cash will compensate you for 100,000 yuan?
②. Whether you are a human being or not is very unclear now.
③. The person who can deceive your father is not born yet - not only not born, but also not pregnant yet.
④. He was deceived, as if he had deceived the liar.
⑤. When it comes to money, how come you grow up so fast!
⑥. Bamboo pole dancing is just like that. If you step on it, it’s dancing. If you don’t step on it, it’s dancing. This is execution!
7. Sketch: "Love in the Tianshan Mountains"
Performers: Abdul Salam, Dili Humar, Shang Daqing, etc.
①. If you don’t want money from others, are you getting milk in your head?
②. The key to the kind of milk a cow produces depends on what kind of feed it feeds. Feed sheep feed - goat milk; feed fruits - fruit milk; feed soybeans - soy milk; feed vinegar - yogurt.
8. Crosstalk Drama: "Trust"
Performers: Feng Gong, Lin Yongjian, Song Ning, Fu Yuanhui
①. I dreamed that my wife gave birth to a baby... I heard a whoosh in the delivery room - you appeared.
②. We are men and we are responsible for making money. I have to let my wife do the rough work like making money. I exhaust her to death.
③. Can’t hold it.
④. A man who doesn’t wear his wife’s socks is definitely not a good man.
⑤. People should trust each other, understand each other, be considerate of each other, and care for each other.
⑥. Those of you who drive taxis must listen to me - those who take taxis.
⑦. Trust is a cotton-padded jacket in the wind and snow; trust is a warm treasure in the cold wind; trust is a hot bath splashed in three or nine days; trust is me wearing a cotton-padded jacket, holding a warm treasure, soaking in it Take a hot bath and drink a steaming bowl of tofu pudding.
9. Sketch: "A Feng's Person"
Performers: Dong Qifeng, Fang Qingping, Li Xiang, Qin Wanyun
①, Blind Date Nine Ninety-eighty-one times, all failed, so we call her the golden leftover, the Monkey King.