Dozens of children are sitting in a small classroom with their favorite sweets on the table.
The researchers laid down several rules:
1, you can eat sugar immediately, but there is no reward.
When the researcher comes back for dinner, he will get an extra candy as a reward.
You can ring the bell before the researcher comes back, and the researcher will come back immediately. You can eat candy, but you must give up the second piece.
Later research found that those few children who are good at waiting are often more likely to succeed in their future career development.
Choosing a forbearing child for a long-term goal is actually honing your mind and improving your ability to resist temptation.
They contend with desires and endure impulses, paving the way for the pursuit of high-value results in the future.
The eyes of a truly powerful person are not only satisfied with the temptation in front of them, but also seek more room for development, constantly delaying the satisfaction of their own desires and adjusting themselves.
delay of gratification
It is the cultivation of internal strength.
Zhang Yiming, the founder of today's headlines, mentioned one word in almost every interview-delayed satisfaction.
He said: "half of the problems in many people's lives are caused by this reason-there is no delay in satisfaction."
20 16, Li Zhigang asked Zhang Yiming: "What key decisions have you made to make today's headlines from 0 to10 billion dollars?"
Zhang Yiming replied: "In fact, I basically made the most important decision in the first three months of starting a business. But what really makes me make the company bigger is delayed satisfaction. "
When Zhang Yiming entered Cool News after graduating from university, he was just an ordinary engineer, but a year later he became a company executive.
How did he do it?
Zhang Yiming said in an interview:
The first reason: I never distinguish between you and me.
After I finish my work, I will do most of my colleagues' problems as long as I can help solve them.
So I grew up quickly.
The second reason is that I never set boundaries.
At that time, I was in charge of technology, but when I encountered product problems, I would also actively participate in the discussion of the scheme.
Many people say that this is not what I should do, but doing these things has given me all kinds of exercise, which is of great help to my later transformation into a product.
On 20 15, BAT paid a high price for today's headlines founded by Zhang Yiming. This price is quite attractive, and the problem of wealth freedom can be solved in one go.
But Zhang Yiming said: "I didn't set up today's headlines to be someone else's employee."
He chose long-term interests, has a long-term vision, can thoroughly analyze his job prospects, and knows what he can't do in advance, so he insists on not doing it.
Be unmoved in the face of temptation, resist the opportunities offered by others, have a clear determination, and are willing to invest more time and energy in pursuing their long-term goals.
Every long time, they have self-control, perseverance and patience, and a desire to delay satisfaction.
It is everyone's weakness to be greedy for the moment, but you will get tangible benefits in the future by restraining every moment you want to be satisfied immediately and enduring the long waiting period.
You won't delay your satisfaction
It will be destroyed forever.
In August last year, Tsinghua University issued an announcement to dissuade two doctoral students from the Marxist Institute.
During their study, these two doctoral students have long been addicted to activities other than academics. If he has not taken leave for two weeks and has not participated in the teaching and research activities stipulated by the school, his student status will be cancelled according to the Regulations on the Administration of Postgraduate Enrollment in Tsinghua University.
According to an insider, one of the doctors was 13, who studied for six years, which greatly exceeded the normal four-year academic system.
The other is a 17 student, who has been in school for two years, neither completed the credit requirements nor started the topic on time, and is addicted to video games all day.
The only reason is that I don't concentrate on my studies and muddle along every day.
I had already reached the peak of the academic hall, but because I couldn't control my temporary desire, I humiliated my past efforts and was forced to be eliminated in an embarrassing manner.
Liu from Zhejiang University was admitted to an ideal university with the second place in the whole school, but he went to college. He played games 12 hours every day, skipped classes, failed his grades, and was finally expelled from school.
After one year's repetition, he was admitted to Zhejiang University again, but dropped out for the same reason.
After a blow, Liu Tongxue, who returned to college, did not reflect on himself, but chose the road of eating, drinking and having fun. When he meets someone who can satisfy himself, he immediately rushes forward and streaks on the road of desire.
However, he forgot that any road to desire is asking for a dead end.
Anxious for success, I always want to get what I want in a short time, forgetting that better things need long-term struggle to get, which runs counter to my original intention and falls into a bad habit.
Because I can't control my desires, I can't refuse short-term pleasure, I can't discipline myself, and then I blindly ask for pleasure, and finally I am swallowed up by pleasure.
Li Xiaolai said in "Taking Time as a Friend":
Why some people are more addicted to gambling than others. Because they need results right away.
In the same way, alcoholism, whoring, drug abuse and endless video games are all caused by this "nature of wanting to be satisfied immediately".
Uncontrolled indulgence can certainly satisfy your empty mind. In the long run, you can only wander on the edge of desire and can't touch the farther front.
Turn a blind eye to your own sweat, squander your energy and time, indulge in instant satisfaction, and lose your future.
Learn to delay gratification
In order to get rid of mediocrity
In the sixth season of The Story of Chipa, there was a very popular debater named Fu Seoul.
In the program, she gained great popularity with her true, unpretentious, funny and meaningful debate style.
Fu Seoul's grounded speech won a lot of praise from the audience and often amused the audience.
But we don't know that this knowledgeable debater also had a bleak time when no one cared.
In the program, she shared her experience before she became famous, a period of "sitting on the bench" for six or seven years.
Fu Seoul got married at the age of 25 and returned to work in Hefei after finishing college in Beijing.
Neither she nor her lover have good family conditions. They live in Hefei by themselves. After giving birth, they only think about how to cope with the expenses of daily necessities at home.
I never get off work when the sun is shining, and I have to go back to take care of the children at night. The usual entertainment is going to the supermarket.
But she doesn't want to live a mediocre life like a single cycle. After work, she insisted on writing and reading, and had little time to dress herself in the best years.
After putting the children to bed every day, Fu Seoul reads and writes at his desk. In this boring life of 67 years, she has precipitated her talents.
During this period, two novels were published, and the first emotional work was released. Later, he took part in the "Seven Ba Theory" and became a dark horse in the "Seven Ba Theory" debate.
In order to pursue a higher spiritual realm, she insisted on sitting on the bench for many years, quietly exerting her strength behind her back, and had no desire for "instant satisfaction".
Accumulate strength step by step through hard work, concentrate on things seriously, wait patiently for opportunities, get rid of any immediate pleasure and seek long-term results.
This kind of life, you can't experience a moment of happiness, you can't see the fruits of your efforts immediately, and some just suffer loneliness day after day.
It is precisely because in these silent years, we are not in a hurry to achieve short-term results, and we have the perseverance to get rid of the label of mediocrity.
A very clever man.
Everyone knows how to delay satisfaction.
There is a topic in the fifth season of "Qi Pa Shuo": Press this button to see how much your partner loves you. Can you press it?
Li Dan said: "The history of human civilization is a history of suppressing desires. We humans used to have two kinds of people. One is to collect civilization. Today, he was hungry, so he reached for a fruit and was happy at that time. But such people have been eliminated. Those who survived were our unfortunate people. We planted it in spring and waited for months to eat it in autumn. This is called delayed satisfaction. "
It won't cost you too much to delay your desire and get rid of temporary unhappiness.
On the contrary, people who are willing to delay satisfaction for long-term results are extremely wise to accumulate wealth while waiting.
The road of life can be divided into two categories-wide door and narrow door.
Wide door is a simple mode, easy to enter, but the road gets narrower and darker.
The narrow door, that is, the hard core mode, is very difficult to enter, but the more spacious and brighter you walk.
Without understanding, most people will choose the former, but smart people will choose the latter.
The road that is often easy to pass is full of obstacles after the past; The past is the smooth way to go through the difficult road on your own.
Smart people understand that once they take the easy road first, they lose their own desires, and they go further and further on the road of self-discipline, and it is difficult to turn back.
In the final analysis, they have the ability to delay satisfaction, choose to go through the difficult stage first, and when they can be satisfied immediately, they still come up with a hard job to strive for a smooth road for themselves in the future.