"There are so many cars and traffic jams, it's no wonder I'm not late."

"Look, she obviously has no ability, but her salary is higher than mine. It's really unfair."

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"Why are you buying these flowers? It's not practical at all. Why don't you just give me the money?"

"Look at other people. If they come first in the exam, you know how to play."

…

Are these words familiar? Yes, this is the complaint we usually blurt out, everywhere.

Complaining is the most useless thing in the world. Not only does it not help us, it can also destroy our confidence, dampen our enthusiasm, amplify our anger, harm ourselves and annoy others.

So how do we keep ourselves away from these harmful "complaints"?

The book "The Rules of Not Complaining" written by Jon Gordon says that if a person's heart is not filled with flowers, weeds will grow. This means that if you are full of enthusiasm and confidence in life, how could you still want to complain?

The author of this book is Jon Gordon, who graduated from Cornell University. He is an entrepreneur, a master speaker, and a best-selling author for the Wall Street Journal and Amazon.

Mr. Gordon is committed to developing motivated and dynamic employees, leaders, organizations and teams.

He has authored 20 books, including 8 best-sellers, with millions of readers around the world. The "Rule of No Complaining" I am going to talk about today is one of the best-sellers.

This book tells us the protagonist Hope in the form of a story. She is a deputy manager of human resources who was driven to near despair by complaints about life. Fortunately, after nurse Joyce gave her some advice, she used the rule of not complaining to free herself from complaining step by step. She used a positive and optimistic attitude to save herself and resolve the crisis at work, which left her in a mess. His life has developed positively.

The no-complaint rules introduced in the book are the "One, Three, Five" rules: one no-complaint day, three no-complaint tools, and five small things.

Life should have a sense of ritual, set a no-complaint day

We can calm down, choose a day for ourselves, and set it as a no-complaint day. On this day, we can continue to Remind yourself, try not to complain. When you don't complain, you will think of things you like to fill yourself up, so that you don't want to complain.

If you don’t complain, then you will find things you like, that is, turn complaints into motivation to find positive things.

For example, when you are stuck in a traffic jam and feel like complaining, you can find something to distract your attention. You can listen to a good book, or think about what you want to do today. Things to do, etc., so that you don’t focus on complaining.

Three non-complaining tools to stir up waves in life

Romain Rolland once said that only by turning the mood of complaining about the environment into a force for progress can you be successful. ensure.

So how do we transform our complaining thoughts into a positive direction?

Use three non-complaining tools to stir up positive waves in your life.

1. Use "but" skillfully to change your mentality.

When you realize you want to complain, all you have to do is add a "but" and a positive thought, and the mood will change.

For example, I don’t like driving an hour to go to work, but I’m glad that I can drive and still have a job.

If we look at things we don’t like from a different angle, we will find that we are quite happy, so you won’t think about complaining.

2. Do more "starts" and less "must"

We often say "I have to go to work, I have to cook." If it were changed to "I'm going to work, I'm going to start driving and cooking delicious food."

In this way, you will find that you can still drive even though others are squeezing the car to work. While others are starving, you can still cook and enjoy delicious food.

Do more "starts" and say less "musts". A simple switch can make you realize that the things we complain about are what others desire. We should not complain. We should be glad that we still have .

3. Take active action

Thinking is a problem, doing is the answer.

If we want to truly reduce complaints, we must take active actions and use these good methods to truly benefit ourselves.

For example, if your children often ask you this question or that question, you will get impatient and want to yell: Why do you have so many questions? It’s so annoying.

At this time, you can think about it. The reason why your children ask you is because in their hearts, you are very powerful and know a lot, so they want you to ask for advice. This is an opportunity to enhance your relationship and should be cherished.

Five little things, double your happiness

With the ritual of No Complaining Day and the three tools for not complaining, next we need to use five small things to strengthen ourselves The sense of happiness makes complaints farther and farther away from us.

1. Practice gratitude. You can do three good things every day to be grateful for life, such as thanking your colleagues for helping you and motivating them.

2. Praise others.

Instead of complaining about what others do wrong, focus on what they do right. Both praise and criticism are necessary, but please note that the frequency of praise is three times that of criticism.

3. Focus on success. You can write a success diary every day. It can be about tasks you have completed, happy things, or unforgettable people. When you expect more success, your inner confidence will be stronger. .

4. Let go. Focus on what you can change and let go of what you can’t control. Things may work out better when you try not to take control.

5. Meditate. When you feel yourself complaining, stop, take a moment, and give yourself more space to sort yourself out.

The author uses this "one, three, five" rule of not complaining to clearly sort out the theory and specific actions on how not to complain, making us truly feel that it is feasible to stay away from complaining.

The author also borrowed the words of the pastor in the book to express his thoughts: "Whether to remain positive and free, or to be bound by one's own negativity. Living in the past or full of hope for the future, this is a choice , only you can decide.”

Yes, the choice is in our hands whether to complain or to be positive.

Just like the pop singer Angela Chang, a serious illness many years ago and her mother’s slander caused her to fall from heaven to hell in an instant. She could really complain about the injustice of her fate, but she did not complain. Instead, she became more courageous as she fought. The invisible wings of strength and optimism allowed her to soar again and return to a brighter heaven. Now she is always an inspiration that the public praises. girl.

As ordinary people, we can use the method in the book "The Rules of Not Complaining" to find our own paradise and plant flowers of happiness so that the weed of complaining has nowhere to grow.