The biggest feature of this book is that it is easy to understand and operate. There are not many profound and grandiose theories, all of which are very practical. People who have read this book have comments not only in the field of negotiation, but also in all aspects, which is well worth reading.
Since its publication in the 1980s, this book has experienced a late bloomer. After no one looked at it at first, the popularity gradually soared. At present, it is the fourth edition, and the author has also made a leak check. Then we immediately began to study, hoping that through this book, everyone can acquire negotiation skills. We can also better understand the real intention of Sino-US negotiations through this book.
At the beginning of each chapter of this book, there will be several test questions. For example, in the first chapter, the author wants to test the readers' negotiation ability and let them tell right and wrong as soon as possible. First, in the face of a difficult opponent, do you make some small concessions for a better result in exchange for the favor of the other party? In other words, I step back and wait for my opponent to step back. Now everyone can think about it, don't you think?
The author analyzes the key words of difficulty, better, concession, smallness and goodwill, and tells us that the essence of negotiation is actually win-win cooperation. If one side wins at the expense of the other, it will be difficult to succeed, and special attention should be paid to the word concession. The author has a famous saying that you must never give in easily unless you exchange. Or an inch, unless exchanged. As for small, this should be viewed from two aspects. Sometimes you think it doesn't matter, but it's important in the other person's eyes. The so-called negotiation is actually an exchange. What you want to grasp is what the other person thinks is very important, and you must not get rid of it easily, because that will leave you with nothing to exchange. Finally, in exchange for each other's goodwill, the focus is on goodwill. Whether you get goodwill or not, sometimes it is not necessarily true. The other party may make things difficult, but you are giving in. This is not kindness but connivance. Many opponents are aggressive just to force you to compromise.
Therefore, the author gives the definition of negotiation and obtains the necessary process from those who want what they need from us. Isn't it a roundabout way to get what people want from us? The art of negotiation lies in the balance between them. At this time, you have to answer two questions. First, I have rich experience in negotiation, and I am not sure about right or wrong. Second, negotiators are only interested in winning, right or wrong or uncertain. Everyone has been negotiating. From the moment we cry after birth, it is actually a negotiation. If you feed me, I won't cry. Children are ghosts. They often know that grandparents are easy to talk to, so they will skip their parents and go to their grandparents to spoil.
When parents educate Xiong Haizi, they are actually negotiating, but they always give in. Why is this happening? Because children know their own needs, know how to succeed, know their parents' temper better, and their attitude towards their own needs can be firm enough to ignore anything. Parents, however, can only keep paying, with a sense of responsibility, guilt, gentleness and worry about their children's future. For example, a child is picky about food and never eats vegetables, but his mother thinks it is good to eat vegetables, but it is useless to reason with the child, so many mothers will say: you can't eat ice cream without vegetables. The child's appeal is not to eat vegetables, but to eat ice cream. The two sides were deadlocked, and mom gave in first. You eat two dishes, I let you eat ice cream, and the child still won't give in. There is even an irreconcilable trend. Children would rather not eat ice cream than vegetables. Finally, my mother had no choice but to give in again: just take one bite, just take one bite. At this time, children are even more unique, covering their eyes with their hands and not even looking. Finally, obviously, the child got his ice cream as he wished, but he still didn't eat a bite of food.
Do mothers in life often negotiate with their children like this? So where did mom lose in this negotiation? You can think about it, the author said, if mom doesn't give in and increase her chips, things may change. For example, he said that if you don't eat vegetables, you can't eat this ice cream, and you won't buy ice cream, chocolate or even other snacks in the future. But there is also a problem, that is, if children grow up in a few years, once they can buy these things themselves, they will eat more and more. Of course, this is a long result and has nothing to do with this negotiation. This example gives us a revelation that parents' doting is precisely the capital for children to win negotiations. If parents don't expand their chips, then parents will never win.
What about the baby? When I was a child, I was good at negotiating with my family to gain an advantage, but once you left the family, this doting disappeared, and then the problem came. For example, love is also a negotiation. The other person is no longer a doting family member, but a young person of the same age. The other party has no emotional burden. There are two situations that will lead to your failure at this time. First, you lost your sense of negotiation in childhood, you learned to adjust your own needs, and you also learned to think for others. Then you're finished. You must have lost miserably. Second, you even learned to negotiate with yourself, which means that your inner construction is heading for self-destruction. For what you can't get, you will convince yourself first, not the other person. In both cases, you will lower your standards, compromise and choose to be with people you don't like.
Sometimes vegetables and ice cream are not either or. You should realize that the vegetables in front of you are your chips, and vegetables are the most important to each other. Therefore, if you want to complete the negotiation, you must find the other party's needs. Once you have what the other person wants, the transaction can be closed. So remember that negotiation is not to win or surrender, but to let everyone get what they want through exchange.
In negotiation, the last mistake you should make is to make a hasty deal and accept the first bid from the other side. For example, if you buy a dress and the other party says 100, you say yes. Do you think the other person will be happy at this time? He sold it at a high price, but he won't be happy. He must think it's over. It will be less. So it is a big mistake, even an impermissible mistake, to accept the quotation directly. The author says this is a taboo in negotiation and the last thing to do. Generally, people who accept the first bid are often inexperienced. After a long time, they can avoid this serious mistake. If they can't get through this, then don't do any work related to the negotiation.
The author told a story. He has a rich friend who plays yacht. He wants to sell his boat for ￡ 353,000 and exchange it for a bigger one. The other man, who just wanted to buy a boat, happened to have 335,000 pounds in his hand. As soon as the buyer came up, he didn't show his cards and offered 333 thousand pounds. He thought, if the other party doesn't accept it, he can improve it a little. But what I didn't expect was that the seller didn't seem to be short of money and even agreed. This makes the buyer feel drumming, unless there is something wrong with the ship. What's more, the other party is so happy, so worried, and always feels that he has paid more. Then the buyer has been regretting why he didn't want 300 thousand or 320 thousand.
The author said that you thought that the seller's honesty would make the buyer happy, but in fact it was just the opposite. Sellers earn less money and buyers pay less, but buyers are even more unhappy. Even if you let him earn more money, he will be happier. If the seller increases the price to 335,000 pounds, the buyer will gladly accept it and show it off to everyone in the future, spending 335,000 pounds himself. Bought a 353,000 boat. But the seller didn't bargain, which just backfired.
So this negotiation made everyone very unhappy. The problem is not the price, but the negotiation process. So this gives us a conclusion that you must hide the cards and give the other side a premium. Never accept the first offer, whether it's the buyer or the seller, even if his offer hits your card. Proper bargaining is conducive to making both sides feel comfortable.
Many people like to complain in life, but instead of complaining, it is better to improve their situation and make up for it through consultation. Conflicts often arise between people, and even friends and relatives turn against each other. When we are not satisfied with the service at ordinary times, for example, the food delivery is wrong, or the lunch delivery hasn't arrived yet, you have a great impulse to complain about them. Or at work, many teammates don't give strength and often slow down your progress, or pig teammates simply make a mess of your work. What should you do at this time? Break into a furious rage, or reason with them. The author says that all these things can be settled through negotiation. How to solve it specifically will be elaborated in the next article.