I am proud of this

Look, that little emblem, I finally became a member of the Communist Youth League of China. I feel Be proud, feel proud!

Open the ideological and moral textbooks and you will read Lai Ning, who is an outstanding representative of the *** Youth League members. He deeply knows that he is a member of the Communist Youth League. He demands himself according to the standards of a member of the Communist Youth League at all times. He studies hard and is excellent in all subjects. He is willing to help others. In his spare time, he has made up lessons for many students and answered questions for many students! When the mountain fire burned, he did not flinch. Instead, he realized that he was a member of the Communist Youth League. He resolutely rushed into the sea of ????fire, fought hard to save national property, and finally gave his precious and young life. life. This is a member of the *** Youth League. I was moved. How could I not be proud of it?

I remember reading the story of such a young man in a newspaper. One cold winter, he walked along the lake embankment and saw a group of people pointing at an object in the lake. He also walked over to look at it. He found that it was a small hand and shouted "That's a child", but next to him Everyone just wrapped up their cotton-padded jackets and walked away, but this young man jumped into the water without even having time to take off his clothes. After a hard struggle, he finally rescued the child, but he himself fainted from the cold. When he woke up and people asked him his name, he only said, "I am a member of the Communist Youth League." Isn't this the glory of the Communist Youth League members? *** Youth League members take the lead no matter what the circumstances, and have great spirit and noble qualities.

In our new socialist China, with so many Communist Youth League members, we will be able to realize the great rejuvenation of the Chinese nation in the near future. We are the sun at eight or nine o'clock, and we will Take up the important responsibility of the Communist Party of China tomorrow. We must work hard for the great rejuvenation of the Chinese nation!

Revised draft

I am proud of this

I joined the glorious Communist Youth League of China. At the moment when I took the oath, I solemnly raised my right hand. Thinking of the small emblem on my chest and a small red flag waving towards the sun, my heart was filled with pride! I know clearly: members of the Communist Youth League represent the most advanced force among the young generation. As a member of the Communist Youth League, I decided to hold myself to high standards.

It was a summer evening. After school, I got on the bus and went home as usual. It was the rush hour after get off work and school, and the car was crowded with people. As the car bumped, everyone's bodies were rubbing against each other. At this time I saw the hand, and my breathing suddenly became rapid. This is a criminal hand, hiding behind a jacket, but quietly reaching into someone else's pocket. My eyes moved up a little bit along it, and then I saw a ferocious scarred face. I was so nervous, thinking what should I do? Shout it out loud? But what if no one helps? If the thief escapes without being caught, will he seek revenge on me? I was thinking nervously. The car under my feet seemed to be driving faster and faster. It was about to reach the next stop and the thief was about to escape. What should I do? ?

"Forget it", a voice in my heart said to me: "I'm not stealing your wallet!" Yes, it has nothing to do with me, I'd better keep my head down and sit in my car! But just when I lowered my head, I saw the shining golden emblem, which was shining brightly, as if saying to me, "Don't forget your identity!" Yes, how could I forget my identity? I am a member of the Communist Youth League. How can I be afraid of fighting against bad people and bad things? I stood up quickly, grabbed Scarface, and shouted loudly: "He is a thief!"

All the uncles and aunts around gathered around Scarface, trying to seize the way. I tried to escape, but there was no way. I held his arms tightly with both hands, and he shook him angrily several times without breaking free. Seeing the angry faces next to him, he softened helplessly.

The car drove directly to the nearby police station, and the police uncle came up and took away the dejected thief.

The car continued to drive forward. The stolen aunt held her lost wallet and shed tears of excitement. She kept saying to me: "Thank you, my little classmate, my child." I'm sick and am in the hospital. The doctor said I need to have an operation immediately. My family is poor. This is the five thousand yuan I just borrowed. If it weren't for you, my child's illness would have been delayed!" I said to her with a smile. It’s nothing, this is what I should do.” Even though I said that, I still felt so beautiful when I saw the people around me looking at me with admiration. I stroked my regiment emblem along the way, and the regiment emblem was shining brightly, as if it was also praising me: "You are amazing!"

I am proud of myself, and I fulfill my obligations. I am proud to have fulfilled the responsibility of a *** Youth League member!

Comments:

This topic is not difficult to write. There are many things in life that we are proud of, but this student chose to express his pride by joining the Youth League. Love, but there is a certain degree of difficulty. Because this kind of subject matter can easily flow into the slogan-like routine of "empty versus empty", it takes some thinking to make it realistic. In the first draft of this composition, the theme was very unclear and the intention was also very unclear.

The article begins with a slogan-like cry: "Look, that little emblem, I finally became a member of the Communist Youth League of China. I feel proud. I feel proud! I committed the old habit of "wearing a hat and wearing boots" in terms of conception, and then suddenly mentioned the great rejuvenation of the Chinese nation at the end. The unclear conception of the article resulted in no details in the article. It is dry, dull, and cannot move people with emotion.

The composition of the revised article is more concrete and vivid than the first draft. It uses personal experience to explain why I am proud of myself, and it is no longer just an empty slogan. In this way, the matter of pride is put into practice. At the same time, the intention is much clearer than the first draft, and it is more convincing.

But in a strict sense, this last essay cannot be called an excellent one. Composition, because the overall purpose of this composition is still somewhat far from reality. The composition requires contact with reality. After all, things like catching thieves are not the norm for students. If the author can find some things from his ordinary study life that are not afraid of hardship. Examples of not being afraid of being tired or being happy to help others will be more convincing and the intention will be more realistic.

Attached is an essay from outstanding students

I am proud of this

Huang Yali

"The fourth way, Liu Xiang, China! "I heard the voice coming from the TV.

The 110-meter hurdles final of the Athens Olympics began.

A handsome young man slowly walked towards the starting block. He was surprisingly calm. His expression shocked me, and a thought flashed through my mind: This person is anything but ordinary.

"Get on with it!" "The referee gave the order, and the stadium was silent, and my heart was tense. Suddenly the Brazilian player in the eighth lane signaled to the referee and asked to start again. I sighed and said: "The psychological quality of these people is too high. Bad! "Look at Liu Xiang again. He is very calm and has not been disturbed in any way. My confidence in him has further increased. The second time, the American Trammell jumped the gun. "Is this obviously a deliberate attempt to disturb the opponent's mood? "I felt indignant. But Liu Xiang's expression remained calm, as if it would not be affected even if the other seven players took turns to start off once.

I held my breath. The gun went off. Eight A player rushed out like an arrow from the string. Wow! Liu Xiang was always in the first place. I whispered: "Liu Xiang, come on!" Liu Xiang, come on! ..."The fourth column, the fifth, the sixth...the tenth! Oh my God! The distance between Liu Xiang and his opponent is getting bigger and bigger! End point, end point! Win! Win! I jumped up and shouted loudly Cheering: “Win! Win! "Yes! Liu Xiang won! China won! Asia won! Liu Xiang used his strength to prove that the Chinese can also win gold medals in track and field events! A sense of pride arose spontaneously.

For many years, the Chinese have rarely shown prestige in world track and field sprint events, and they have always given people a feeling of innate deficiencies. Over the years, we have competed in the World Series, but the result is that Europe and the United States still dominate the world. But today, our Liu Xiang challenged history with his heroic leap. He succeeded. He proved the immortal truth of "persistence is victory".

The Chinese are great! We have reason to be so confident. This is true now and will remain true in the future. As long as we keep in mind the indomitable, perseverant, hard-working and tenacious spirit of the Chinese nation, we will definitely be able to do it! "The moment the cocoon is broken, it blooms brilliantly", Liu Xiang explained its true meaning with facts. Liu Xiang, I am proud that "China has you"!

Comment: This is a typical narrative article. The author arranges the paragraphs around the progress of the 110-meter hurdles final. The first three paragraphs describe Liu Xiang's appearance straight to the point, using line drawing to highlight his calmness and confidence; then they describe several accidents that occurred in other foreign team members, which serve to highlight Liu Xiang and make the plot of the article more ups and downs. It is very suspenseful; next, it focuses on the entire process of the race after the gunshot, supplemented by discussion and lyricism to further deepen the center and sublimate the theme. The entire article has a clear structure and natural transitions. At the same time, the emotions are strong and sincere, and the lyricism is naturally strong. Especially the ending part pushes the emotions of the whole text to a climax, which is endlessly memorable.