"Gentleman" is a very common word in ancient literary works, such as "A gentleman's words are hard to follow", "A handsome gentleman is as gentle as jade", etc. If a man is called a "gentleman" by everyone, it can be said to be a very high praise.

In Confucius' mind, "gentleman" is the ideal personality standard of the Chinese people and the goal that Confucius pursues throughout his life. "In the Analects of Confucius, which is just over 20,000 words long, the word "gentleman" appears more than a hundred times."

What kind of person can be called a "gentleman"?

Are they those gentle and knowledgeable scholars? Or is he a great hero and a loyal minister to the country and the people? Or are they ordinary people who are simple and kind in life and stay true to their original intentions? These are not comprehensive enough.

At different stages of his life, Confucius continued to improve this standard of personality for a true "gentleman", such as "The beauty of a gentleman is the beauty of an adult, and the evil of an adult", such as "If you don't know fate, you cannot be a gentleman. "Also", another example is "Gentlemen are harmonious but different", these all provide certain guiding significance for our lives.

?

Today we follow the life of Confucius to explain what it means to be a "true gentleman".

▲The metaphor of a gentleman's virtue

"The Analects of Confucius·Li Ren" Confucius once said: "A gentleman is a metaphor for righteousness, and a villain is a metaphor for benefit." "Yi" means "appropriate", that is, It is said that a gentleman always walks the right path. The villain, on the other hand, is obsessed with self-interest and can easily go astray when driven by self-interest.

Confucius said: "A gentleman cherishes virtue, while a villain cherishes earth. A gentleman cherishes punishment, while a villain cherishes benefits." That is to say, the things that gentlemen and villains care about every day are different.

A gentleman is concerned about his own moral improvement every day, while a villain is concerned about his hometown; a gentleman always has rules and laws in his heart that cannot be exceeded, while a villain is full of thoughts about small favors. , a small bargain.

A gentleman has the world in mind, while a villain is selfish.

Many people with lofty ideals in China have been pursuing this goal throughout their lives. For example, Fan Zhongyan believes that whether a person is "living high in the temple" or "far away from the world", one should be concerned about the kings and people of the world, and should "worry about the world's worries first, and rejoice after the world's happiness".

▲A gentleman has no worries or fears

Sima Niu once asked Confucius, what kind of person can be called a gentleman?

Confucius replied: "The gentleman has no worries or fears."

When Confucius was giving lectures to his students, he once discussed the gentleman's problem with them seriously. He said: "The gentleman has no worries or fears." The third Taoist is that I am incompetent. The benevolent do not worry, the wise do not be confused, and the brave do not fear. ”

There are too many choices in the prosperous world, and people’s desires are endless. Only when we understand how to choose, our life will be better. Only the inner ability to choose can be stronger. This is "those who know do not be confused".

A person has a big heart of benevolence and righteousness, and his heart is extremely kind and tolerant. Only such a person can truly be quiet and calm in his heart. When your heart is brave enough and open enough, you will have the strength to move forward and you will naturally no longer be afraid.

The power of a gentleman starts from his personality and heart. His heart is complete and rich. He first cultivated himself and then showed a calm and unhurried demeanor.

▲A gentleman strives hard

Confucius was very academically motivated and continued to study tirelessly until his later years.

"The Analects of Confucius? Shuer" writes: Ye Gong asked Confucius about Zilu, and Zilu was wrong. Confucius said: "The female Xibu said: 'He is a human being. He is so angry that he forgets to eat, and he is happy and forgets his worries. He doesn't know that he is approaching old age."'

Ye Gong asked Zilu what Confucius was like. Man, Zilu didn’t know how to answer for a moment. Afterwards, Confucius said to Zilu: "Why don't you say this? He is a person who forgets to eat when he is eager to study, and forgets sorrow when his heart is happy. He doesn't even know that he is getting old."

Confucius In "The Analects of Confucius·Xianwen", he also defines the realm of learning - "The ancient scholars did it for themselves, but today's scholars do it for others."

It means that the ancients studied to improve themselves. People today study to show off to others and to please others.

For a person who truly respects knowledge, his learning is for the advancement of the human soul. Learning from books, learning from society, learning from elementary school to old age is nothing more than learning the ability to grasp happiness.

▲A gentleman thinks of others when they see the wise

Confucius said: "When you see a person with both ability and political integrity, you should work hard to learn from him and be like him; when you see a person with poor moral character, , we should reflect on whether we have the same shortcomings."

This passage comes from "The Analects of Confucius", the original text is: Confucius said: "When you see the virtuous, you should think about it, and when you see the virtuous, you should introspect yourself." ”

In fact, the two kinds of people, “virtuous” and “unvirtuous”, open two doors for us in different directions, and “thinking about everything” and “introspection” are the continuous progress of ourselves. motivation.

Tang Taizong Li Shimin did a better job in this regard. He knows people who are good at their job, promotes virtuous people, and can draw advantages from sages.

He has the famous "Three Mirrors Theory": "Using copper as a mirror, you can straighten your clothes; using ancient times as a mirror, you can know the ups and downs; using people as a mirror, you can know gains and losses." It means, Looking at yourself in a bronze mirror, you can tidy up your clothes; using history as a mirror, you can clearly see the reasons for the rise and fall of dynasties; looking at others as mirrors, you can see your own strengths and weaknesses in them.

▲A gentleman behaves with moderation

Zigong asked his teacher: "Which one is more virtuous, Zizhang or Zixia?" Confucius said: "Zizhang always goes too far, and Zixia "It's always not enough." Zigong said, "Is it better for Zizhang?" Confucius said, "Too much is the same as not enough."

This passage comes from "The Analects of Confucius? Advanced." ": Zigong asked: "Which one is wiser, Master or Shang?" He said: "The master is too good, but the Shang is not as good as him." He said: "Then the master is better?" The Master said: "To go too far is still not enough." "Master" is Zizhang, "Shang" refers to Zixia, both of whom were students of Confucius. The idiom "too much is not enough" comes from here.

In Confucius’ view, overdoing things and underdoing them are both harmful. The idiom "too much is not enough" reminds us that we must grasp the "measure" in both life and work. For example, in interpersonal communication, it is not good to be too indifferent, and it is not good to be too close.

Keeping a certain distance is a sign of respect for the other person’s personality, and this kind of respect should be retained even among close people. No matter how you treat friends or relatives, you should have a good sense of proportion, and moderation is best.

▲The beauty of a gentleman in adulthood

This allusion comes from "The Analects of Confucius? Yan Yuan". The original text is: Confucius said: "The beauty of a gentleman in adulthood is not the evil of a man. The villain is." About the gentleman. standards, Confucius and some famous sayings. For example, in "The Analects of Confucius? Li Ren", "A gentleman wants to be slow in speech but quick in action", which means that a gentleman should be cautious in speaking and quick in action. "The Analects of Confucius? Xianwen" says "a gentleman is ashamed of his words and outweighs his actions", which means that a gentleman thinks it is shameful to talk too much and do too little. He should not be a giant in words and a dwarf in actions.

At the same time, in the Confucian moral theory centered on benevolence, Confucius considered himself a very kind person, compassionate, helpful, sincere and generous to others. "Be kind to oneself but not responsible for others" and so on are his principles of life. Confucius said: "When I was fifteen, I was determined to learn; when I was thirty, I was established; when I was forty, I was not confused; when I was fifty, I knew the destiny of heaven; when I was sixty, my ears were obedient; when I was seventy, I followed my heart's desires and did not exceed the rules." This is Confucius's view of his life. Summary of stages.

▲Gentlemen are harmonious but different

Regarding the differences between the behavior of a gentleman and a villain, Confucius also has an expression, which is called "A gentleman is week but not in competition, and a villain is in competition but not Zhou" (" The Analects of Confucius·Wei Zheng").

"Zhou" is able to unite and take care of many people. He interacts with people based on moral principles, so he has many like-minded friends. No matter how many friends a true gentleman has, he will be like oxygen in the air, making his friends feel happy and cared for.

The glyph "bi" looks like two people standing next to each other, which means that a villain likes to form a "small circle" and will not blend into a large group. Confucius believed that a gentleman should be "discreet but not contentious, and gregarious but not party-minded" ("The Analects of Confucius: Wei Linggong").

That is to say: a gentleman is gregarious. Although he is solemn and solemn in his heart, he never fights in a large group of people. At the same time, he will never form gangs and seek personal gain. This is what Confucius said: "Gentlemen are harmonious but different" ("The Analects of Confucius·Zilu").

Confucius said: "When I was fifteen, I was determined to learn; when I was thirty, I was established; when I was forty, I was not confused; when I was fifty, I knew the destiny of heaven; when I was sixty, my ears were obedient; when I was seventy, I followed my heart's desires without exceeding the rules." This is Confucius' summary of each stage of his life. Confucius went through many twists and turns in order to realize his ideal. At the age of 56, he should have enjoyed his old age, led a group of disciples to travel around the country, and began a life of 14 years of wandering. However, he said: "The gentleman is poor, and the villain is poor." He still Stick to your heart and practice the standards of gentlemanly virtue.

"Gentleman" is the word that appears most often in "The Analects". His philosophy is simple, warm and harmonious, which is what everyone can do from now on; the ideal personality of a gentleman exists both in It should also exist in the hearts of each of us now. In this sense, each of us can become a true gentleman.