What is your price value?
What are your family's values about illness, money, achievement, work, alcohol and drugs, sexual problems, the roles of men and women, or any of the above? Write these down.
A man means that he must have a sense of responsibility, be able to bear hardships and hurt others. Dad's income is not as high as mom's, but he has been working hard. He can only do some coolies with low academic qualifications, but he still feels very worried when he sees these. I often hear my mother say that he and his father are husband and wife in trouble. Even though there are too many quarrels in life, his father still loves his mother dearly.
Female: I care about my family, love beauty, have my own work and financial control, and have my own hobbies and friends.
Write these down one by one, how you feel about each word, and write a childhood experience that impressed you the most about this word.
Consciousness activity-what is the influence of parents' parenting style?
Do your parents accept you?
Occasionally, you will be scolded.
Do they spoil you?
Some aspects are pampered.
Do they use physical punishment or mental abuse to motivate you?
Corporal punishment exists, but it is less, and verbal punishment is more.
What decision did you make about the way they raised you (what kind of child do you want to be)?
I am well protected and want to go out and have a look.
Conscious activities-what influence did your childhood environment have on you?
Think about it. When you were born, there were many people there and it was very noisy. Or grew up in a quiet country? What language does your family or neighbors speak? What customs impressed you?
I lived with my parents after I was three years old and followed my mother after school. My family is quiet and my grandmother is very strict with me. My family all speak local dialects, and I am deeply impressed by China New Year. At that time, everyone can get together, cook good meals and be busy with Chinese New Year dishes.
Are there lakes, rivers, mountains, plains, oceans, sand dunes or concrete there?
The birthplace is the Yangtze River.
When I was a child, I lived in a community and environment and grew up in that environment. How does today affect you?
My parents didn't work together when I was a child. As long as I can remember, they have often quarreled together, which makes me feel that getting married means quarreling, and I hate this way of communication.
What creative explanations (decisions) have you made according to your growing environment?
People can't be depressed, don't live in a noisy environment, be physically and mentally exhausted, don't want to do farm work all their lives, and it's hard to sleep late. I want to control my life.
Conscious activities-What influence does your family atmosphere have on you?
If someone wanted to describe your childhood family atmosphere, what would you say?
Until I come home from school, my parents will be scared because of a quarrel.
Is it cheerful and happy or gloomy and quarrelsome?
Arguing constantly.
Is it orderly? Or a mess?
orderly
Is it scary or safe?
safe
Is it warm and friendly or cold and boring?
Although they will quarrel, they are very warm to me.
Your family atmosphere is created by the way your parents get along with each other, the way they raise you, what kind of people they are, how they manage the family and how they organize the family.
Write down how you describe the atmosphere of the family you grew up in. How did growing up in that atmosphere affect you today? What decisions you have made about life, others and yourself are still with you today.
Their mode of getting along is a little burning and explosive.
My mother is a serious worker. Although she often quarrels with my father, she is very kind to my father. My mother is a very kind person. She keeps the house in good order. The impact on my life now is that I completely repeated their lifestyle in the first half of this year, which made me feel very painful. By encouraging consultation, I have adjusted a lot. I also feel that the whole world is good people, and there are no bad people. The only problem is that I can't keep my house as organized as my mother does.
Dad is a warm-hearted man. No matter who is in trouble, he is willing to help others. His outspoken words have an impact on my life now, so that I often get offended unconsciously. This is really a fatal shortcoming, I accept it, and I am ready to correct the good ones.
The father is four brothers and sisters, and the mother is six brothers and sisters. Our family was not very good when we were young. At that time, my uncle was relatively well-off and no one helped us when he was in trouble, so I didn't want to ask for help unless I had to. There is a feeling of losing face and giving alms. Until now, I always believe that only I can save myself and really help myself.
Do your parents cooperate or compete with each other? compete
Is one party dominant and the other obedient? Precisely
Or are we equal and have the right to decide? I will still make decisions about important things.
Do your parents respect each other, make decisions through discussion and negotiation and express their feelings? Never. The basic impression is to vent your emotions by quarreling.
Are they warm, friendly and friendly to each other, or are they cold, angry and distant? It is warm when you don't quarrel, but cold and desperate when you quarrel.
Look at your answers to the above questions. Compared with the relationship between parents, have you found any problems in your current interpersonal relationship?
Before encouraging psychological counseling, I felt helpless and indifferent to the handling of intimate relationships. Every time I quarrel, I am desperate and sad, and tears can't help flowing down. After studying, I found that when dealing with intimate relationships, I even get angry sometimes, but I will quickly adjust my emotions and slowly stop crying.
I find that gentle and firm language is also very suitable for being with my husband.
I didn't understand it before. We were obviously in love before we were together. Why do we quarrel together after all kinds of hardships? I gradually found that my attitude towards life is the same as the family I came from. The influence of my family background has affected my intimate relationship and parent-child relationship. Thank you for having a caring mother, positive discipline, encouraging consultation, and a heart willing to learn and change when I am most helpless, as long as I am willing.