There is a famous saying in "The Road Less Traveled":

"To establish beliefs and worldviews that are compatible with reality, we must break through our own boundaries and constantly correct ourselves."

In other words, if you want to change your destiny, you must first change yourself.

Growth is actually a journey of constant trial and error.

Only by being good at reflecting on your own mistakes can you avoid taking some detours in life.

Changing Image

Writer Li Shanglong attached great importance to his image when he was young and ran five kilometers every day.

But later, his weight began to remain high.

One day, while he was lying on the sofa reading as usual, a sentence came into view:

Many times, a person's degradation begins with losing control of his body.

Looking at his double chin and big belly, Li Shanglong decided to start changing:

Quit staple food, control food intake, and exercise regularly.

Three months later, he lost a total of thirty pounds.

At the book signing that year, readers asked him the secret to losing weight, and he only said one sentence:

"Rather than losing weight, I hope you should learn more about The power of reflection. The so-called reflection is to find your own shortcomings and work hard to make yourself better."

I have seen too many people who want to maintain a good figure, but they lose it over time. Gradually lose management and control of self-image.

The girl who was once graceful and light has become bloated; the young man who used to be high-spirited has become potbellied.

As a result, I have not yet reached middle age, and my image has been ravaged by time, turning me into an out-of-shape aunt and uncle.

I really like Yu Heming’s words:

“Managing your body and image well is the first step to advance in your life.”

Yes, your image is your business card.

Whether a person’s appearance is good-looking or not is innate, but whether the image is clean, graceful, refined or not is acquired.

Change your words and deeds

I communicated with a professor a few days ago, and he told me a story.

He once led two graduate students, both of whom were very strong in scientific research and had almost the same abilities and backgrounds.

But in the end, he had a successful career and became a rising star in the industry before he was thirty years old. His scientific research achievements frequently won awards.

I have accomplished nothing and am still considering which company to submit my resume to.

I was very confused and asked the professor: "Why is there such a big difference?"

The professor sighed and began to tell slowly.

In the year of graduation, under his recommendation, the two graduate students entered the same scientific research center.

When they first entered, they were both curious about all kinds of things, and it was inevitable that they would ask more questions.

But as time passed, the differences between the two gradually became apparent.

The former one is cautious in his words and deeds, especially when it comes to the company's scientific research secrets. He will not ask more questions.

The other one is different. He not only likes to inquire about other people's work content, but also likes to brag about his position everywhere.

Once, while drinking with others, he actually told others about the company's scientific research progress.

When the department leader found out, Lei Lei was furious and scolded him.

Unexpectedly, instead of reflecting on his mistakes and taking them as a warning, he complained privately to his colleagues:

“Isn’t this just a joke? The leader is too serious!”

After hearing these words, the department leaders fired him and prepared to prosecute him for infringement of trade secrets.

In the end, it was the professor's many tricks that saved him from jail.

But after that, no relevant scientific research company dared to use him.

On Douban, there is a group called "Words and Actions Determine Success or Failure". There is this very true saying in it:

"When you are 20 years old, you say some inappropriate words and do some inappropriate things. If you don’t know the pros and cons, you may get away with it;

If you don’t correct your words and deeds at the age of 40, disaster will happen sooner or later.”

Some people, Always reflect on yourself and make changes in time, so you can continue to improve.

Some people cannot control their words and deeds, cannot change their wrong behavior, and in the end can only destroy their own lives.

Changing emotions

I have read such a story in a book.

In a small town, there lived a young man who devoted himself to Buddhism.

He eats fast and recites sutras and chants every day, diligently and without interruption.

But somehow, every time he went to a nearby temple to become a monk, the abbot always shook his head: "The time has not come yet."

He was very distressed, so he went to ask the Zen master : "Please tell me, why am I devoted to the Buddha and practicing every day, but I can never become a Buddhist?"

The Zen master did not answer directly, but asked: "Today the abbot rejected you. What was your reaction when you were outside the door?"

He was puzzled, but he answered honestly: "I felt wronged and yelled at him."

The Zen Master asked again: "What about the last time?"

He replied: "The same thing."

The Zen Master continued to ask: "What about the first time?"

The young man Hearing this, I felt very ashamed: "It happens again and again..."

Looking at the young man who seemed to understand but not understand, the Zen master patiently said:

"What you call practice, It’s just about eating fast, chanting sutras, and chanting hymns day after day. There’s nothing difficult about it.

What’s difficult is correcting your emotions. If you don’t get rid of your bad emotions, your life will not be the same. Change; if you don’t plug your emotional loopholes, it will be difficult for you to achieve anything in your life.”

Yes, you will only cover up your heart by eating fasting and chanting sutras instead of correcting your emotional shortcomings. , what is practice called?

The ancients said: Don’t promise when you are happy, be silent when you are sad, don’t fight when you are angry, be unresolute when you are in chaos, and have an end when you are tired.

Only by constantly reflecting on your own emotions, and correcting your emotions, can you live a satisfactory life.

Change the circle

I have a friend who has a wide range of connections and is a typical social butterfly.

On weekdays, I am either having a drinking party with my colleagues or building relationships with my boss.

Some time ago, he suddenly posted a message on Moments saying:

When you are valuable, you have the most friends; only when you are in trouble do you know how many friends you have.

It turns out that he met a big boss at a wine party before, added each other on WeChat, and often met in groups.

Some time ago, he encountered a big trouble at work. When he was desperate, he thought of this boss.

He sent several messages to the boss with high hopes, but the other party didn’t reply at all.

Unwilling to give up, he called the boss, but the other party blocked him directly.

What’s even more sad is that those who were usually friendly with him now hide when they see him, and some don’t even answer the phone, for fear that he will ask for help.

The writer Ma De has a famous saying:

"A clean circle is usually a small circle with not many people, three to five people or even two or three people. A circle with a large number of people, It is inevitable that everything will fall apart. ”

A person’s time and energy are limited after all, and you really don’t need to invite too many people into your life.

After all, in life, if there is no rejection, there will be no fulfillment; without farewell, there will be no joy.

Correction of one's own circle and inviting people out of one's life are the beginning of a pure life.

Change the Soul

Zeng Guoquan, a famous general in the late Qing Dynasty, was Zeng Guofan's ninth younger brother. His abilities and talents were far superior to Zeng Guofan's.

He was good at digging trenches and besieging cities, and had made great achievements, and was named "The Great and Brave Batulu".

However, he made money excessively, ignored laws and regulations, and was reported by others several times.

After Zeng Guofan heard about it, he wrote to him: "I can only rely on improving my morality and cultivating my career."

It is intended to persuade him to reflect on his own character and not to do it for merit. Lost virtue.

However, Zeng Guoquan didn't take it seriously and continued to go his own way, searching for wealth.

In the end, the matter was revealed, and he was reprimanded and returned to his hometown, his reputation ruined.

The greatest sorrow of being a human being is not that you have no money or ability, nor that you have no power or status, but that your character is not up to par.

With bad morals, no matter how high you climb, you will eventually fall to the bottom; if your character is not up to par, no matter how much wealth you have, you will eventually dissipate.

I really like what Kazuo Inamori said:

“We must never forget to reflect on ourselves and review our daily behavior with a humble attitude.

Reflection Keep correcting yourself and keep yourself in the right direction, so that you can unknowingly temper your soul and improve your character."

Only by self-reflection and active change can people break through their own boundaries and meet others. A better version of yourself.