It is inevitable that relatives, friends, fellow villagers and colleagues will sometimes make some demands on you, and some of these demands are simply unreasonable and some are beyond your ability. In short, you are unwilling. But because of your hard feelings, you managed to do something that was difficult for you or that you didn't want to do at all. In the end, when it is over, you have been tortured to death, which has seriously hurt your self-esteem and even affected your physical and mental health. Therefore, we must learn to refuse others. In daily life, if you want to refuse others, do it in a sincere and appropriate way and express your feelings at that time. For example, a classmate borrows money from you to buy things, but often borrows it and doesn't pay it back. You can say, "I have no change. On the other hand, some people dare to speak, but their feelings are not fully expressed. " So you should make yourself "more emotional in voice", "more vivid in conversation", "more gestures", "more direct", "more expressions on your face" and so on. For those who can't express their true feelings, let themselves fully participate in the communication, inject emotions, and then gradually add expressions, gestures, appropriate loud voices, staring at each other's eyes, etc. Mr. Guo has always been indifferent to fame and wealth, and he doesn't like vanity, so if he feels good after eating an egg, why must he meet the hen who laid it! Here, with his unique humor and wit, Mr. Qian rejected the request of the American lady with novel, unique and vivid metaphors, which not only safeguarded the lady's self-esteem, but also avoided unnecessary troubles. In oral communication, people who are good at refusing can not only make themselves take the initiative to attack, advance and retreat freely, but also leave enough "face" for each other and set good steps to avoid embarrassment for both sides. Rejecting the other party will definitely cause the other party's unhappiness. But sometimes we have to refuse what others ask of us. So, how can we minimize the unpleasantness that rejection may bring? This requires us to say something skillfully when rejecting others, which can not only excuse ourselves, but also make others embarrassed. 1. You can find an impersonal reason as an excuse, that is, shirking. When a classmate invites you to another classmate's house to play at night, you think there is still a lot of homework to do, but you really don't want to go. You can say, "Unfortunately, I have a tutor to give me a class tonight. Let's take a rain check. "If a good friend invites you to an Internet cafe during night lessons, of course you can't go. What should I say? " Our head teacher will come to check the self-study tonight. I'm afraid I can't go. "In this way, you can avoid each other's blame. Before rejecting others, you can show that you are willing but unable. You have been invited to go for an outing at the weekend, and you have made arrangements for this period of time. How can you refuse him? " An outing? You did a good job. I have long wanted to have fun with you in the suburbs, but ... "Because you regret not agreeing to his request, although he was rejected, he is grateful to you." 3. Learn to induce the other party to deny their own requirements in order to achieve the effect of rejection. A classmate wanted to take advantage of his father's business trip to visit Changbai Mountain, and asked the class teacher for leave when the school was in normal class, which of course violated school discipline. If the class teacher directly rejects him, he even criticizes him. However, the head teacher told the student this way: "It is really a wonderful thing to visit Changbai Mountain with my father. But our study task is very tight now, so it is difficult to make up for it in class. There are many opportunities to visit Changbai Mountain. Can you find another suitable opportunity in the future? " After listening to the teacher in charge, the classmate happily withdrew his request. Don't you think it's wise for the head teacher to refuse? People don't want their wishes to be rejected, and the other party's categorical "no" hurts more. Therefore, the language of refusal should be special, and sometimes we have to use it, or praise and thank each other for their enthusiasm and friendliness, which shows that we are happy to accept this intention. You care about me. I appreciate your kindness! ""thank you for your kindness! " In this way, even if the other person is rejected, he will still think you are a reasonable person because you understand his good intentions. A proper excuse. Although it is impolite to make excuses to refuse each other. However, excuses are indispensable in life. Many times, if you want to refuse a request from the other party, it is not convenient to explain the reasons or say anything to the other party. You might as well find a suitable excuse (or "excuse") and avoid the other party's request with a legitimate reason that will not be blamed by the other party. For example, you don't like playing with a classmate, but he dragged you to play ball. You have no reason to refuse. You might as well find an excuse to refuse without hurting his self-esteem, and then you can say, "I'm sorry, my mother asked me to go home early (actually not)." In addition, the most important thing is that when you make some unreasonable demands on the direction, the above refusal methods are not applicable. At this time, the tone of your refusal to him should be beyond doubt and non-negotiable. My conclusion: Rejection is an art and a method of self-protection. Learning to refuse can not only ensure your physical and mental health, but also help you strengthen unity with your classmates, friends and relatives around you. However, learning to refuse does not mean rejecting everything. People are social. Living in this society, everyone should help each other. We may encounter such a situation, and your help may be very important or even far-reaching to friends, classmates or relatives. At this time, as long as you are within your ability, you must go all out to help him. Maybe your help is a matter of life and death, so we should do whatever it takes. Some people sacrifice their health, their own interests and even their own lives to help others, but they have no regrets. Being ready to help others is a virtue, which is not contradictory to how to refuse. I believe everyone will handle these relationships well.