To truly understand oneself, one needs to draw on the power of the outside world and release oneself in the fission of fragments at each stage. It is a complete process of self-awareness...

Let’s tell a little fable: < /p>

In order to show off that a bottle of good wine is extraordinary, the owner is asked to open the cap of the bottle so that people can smell the aroma of the wine from a distance. After the bottle was opened, the aroma of the wine was indeed overflowing. People who smelled the aroma from far away came to praise the aroma of the wine...

After a while, the aroma of the wine gradually changed from strong to light, from It becomes tasteless, and people's voices of praise also change from more to less, from less to none... The wine then asked the bottle, why people no longer praise it? The wine bottle replied: "Because you have turned into a bottle of tasteless fresh water"...

The wine is thinking, I know myself, and I understand this necessary process and result. As long as my heart is aboveboard, the more I will The invisible places appear brighter and more transparent...

In the world, you can imagine others with your own taste, but do you understand yourself? For example, the wine bottle itself...

Who am I? Where am I now? What am I doing? Where do I come from? Where am I going? By organizing these questions, you can understand yourself.

You can try to use a three-dimensional coordinate chart to draw a portrait of yourself:

Horizontal axis: Left - Where do I come from? Right - where am I going?

Vertical axis: Top - What do I desire? Below - What am I resisting?

Internal and external axes (in three dimensions, the internal and external axes except up and down, left and right): Inside - what is my emotional state? Outside - what is my logical state?

By combining the above various axes and adding the degree (0-10 points, 0 points are extremely low and 10 points are extremely high), you can basically draw your own "portrait" , you can understand yourself.

Comments are welcome and I will reply to each comment.

Psychological PM focuses on providing psychological solutions, so stay tuned~~

The prerequisite for knowing yourself is to first understand yourself. Only after you understand yourself can you know yourself. Better to say: What makes you who you are now?

The reason why we are who we are now must be related to our past. If we can know why we are what we are now, then we can see clearly many things that have been ignored or misunderstood. Be able to know and understand yourself more objectively.

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1. Understand yourself by comparing yourself with others: Consciously comparing yourself with others and discovering some of your own characteristics is a way to start to understand yourself.

2. Understand yourself from other people’s evaluations: proactively deal with different people and get to know yourself from their evaluations of you.

3. Know yourself through practice: set a goal, work hard to do something well, and understand your own characteristics through continuous attempts.

4. Understand yourself in close relationships: All evaluations from outsiders may be only one-sided evaluations, while the evaluations from people in close relationships may be more pertinent.

5. Know yourself through reflection: All external evaluations are a channel for internal transformation. By constantly collecting other people’s evaluations of yourself, you will have a general understanding of yourself, so every day Keep a diary.

It is difficult to know yourself in life, and it is even harder to change yourself!

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I have always liked these famous quotes: they give us the philosophy of life. Enlightenment and the charm of personality!

"Life is a gem that nature gives to humans to carve. To spread sunshine into the hearts of others, you must first have light in your own heart. The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself. The biggest The fault is not knowing the fault; stupidity is only seeing the faults of others and forgetting your own faults."

"The day you really laugh at yourself, you will be mature. But I want to be honest. Feeling that everything is insignificant may be the biggest tragedy. You are the real you when no one sees you. If you cherish every moment, every moment will become eternal."

"Friendship is a special kind of human relationship. Although the relationship between lovers and family ties are also close, in a certain sense, they have natural and instinctive elements; but friendship is It is an indispensable treasure that only humans have in life."

People need to have close friends who can give comfort and encouragement, and they need to have something beautiful and pure that will not change over time. friendship. In friendship, mutual trust is the first condition, and this trust is of course accompanied by respect for the other person. By contacting people who trust you, you can discover strengths that you don't have, and get encouragement and encouragement from them; conversely, placing your trust in friends is better than any encouragement and comfort. That way, when life throws you the wrong way, you know: your friends understand.

So, what is more precious than friendship?

Why can’t I always learn to deceive myself and others and deal with things diplomatically? My younger sister and best friend often blame myself in their ears: "Don't be so straightforward when dealing with people, dealing with things, and speaking. It's easy to offend people... Why can't I teach you this after I've been back in the south for so many years?"

I am from the Northeast. I often offend my friends unintentionally because of my straightforward personality. I usually mean well, but I am misunderstood by the other party... I always react after the fact. Some can understand and forgive you after explanation, but some are still upset because of trivial matters...

"If I hadn't seen the mistakes he made, I couldn't imagine his life. It’s usually when you make a mistake that your true nature comes out.” If friends need to deceive themselves and others to survive, then they wouldn’t be friends at all.

A true friend is one who can understand and trust each other. True friendship is a strong passion that cannot be expressed in words, resulting from the intimate contact and collision of hearts. It is a feeling of pure trust that abandons any other purpose.

We often look for such friends; however, there is no need to look for many. If we can meet true soulmates, even if there are only one or two, it will be a huge wealth in life, and it will be the immortal power and the greatest joy that life gives us.

"Acquaintance is based on fate, friendship is based on sincerity, the ordinary is full of warmth, and simplicity has romance!"

"When making friends, you need to be heart-to-heart, and when you water a tree, you need to water its roots. Don't look at a person's clothes, but look at his heart. The sweet spring is known when one is thirsty, the good friend is known on the day of adversity, the friend of fair and foul is not the best friend, the one who helps in times of adversity is the friend...

The word "self" is Invisible, only when you bump into something else and bounce back can you understand "yourself". Therefore, you can only know what "yourself" is when you collide with something strong, something terrible, and something of a high level. — Yohji Yamamoto.

Why is it so difficult to understand oneself?

① The education method delays the achievement of self-identity at this stage where there is less real pressure. There are more opportunities to participate in various exploration activities related to future development and intimate relationships to find oneself. However, the reality is that such exploration processes are often crowded out by today's institutionalized education.

② The influence of family education. Psychologists have found that children who respect each other and have a stable emotional foundation with their parents, and whose parents give them more relaxed personal space, are more likely to gain a self-identity as they explore themselves. . But those children who are ignored or rejected by their parents find it difficult to imitate or learn to understand themselves from their parents, and it is also difficult for those who have a too close relationship with their parents to completely control their lives. Children who never dare to challenge the authority of their parents are unwilling to form a "self-identity" without their parents. They are completely dependent on their parents' decisions.

③ The task of "self-identity" may last a lifetime. Many adults also have this kind of trouble. This usually occurs when there is a conflict between the original cognition and the new environment. There may be some important life transitions, such as employment, marriage, having children, or when facing some opportunities. time.

So how can we truly understand ourselves?

① Make courageous attempts and choices. Self-identity is gradually obtained by people in the process of continuous exploration and choice. To make an attempt or choice, whether we like it or not, every time we make an attempt or choice, we will get closer to understanding ourselves. ② Sometimes, we cannot see the difference between ourselves and others. Clearing ourselves may be related to our being too close to, and overly dependent on and interfering with, the people around us. If we want to truly see our own emotions, cognitions, and behaviors, we need to work hard to identify what are the requirements of others in some situations. Which are my feelings; which are the expectations of others, and which are my real choices. At these moments, you might as well try to ask these questions in your mind and make some thoughts.

③ Carry out narrative exercises. . Have you ever imagined what your ideal day will be like twenty years from now? The more in-depth and detailed your imagination of this day's life will be, the better it will help you understand what kind of life you really want. , what are your value orientations and preferences in all aspects of life. And this understanding, in turn, can help you make various choices today again.

In fact, many young people are confused, confused and anxious about self-awareness, because life is very long, so you don’t need to rush or panic.

Reading novels may be the best way.

A good novel has this effect. You will put yourself into various characters and experience the mental processes of different characters. You can't help but follow the author's path to find others. On the way, you meet more people. Be a good person...

In addition, it is emphasized that you should read long novels when reading, because the life of the character is relatively complete and has reference value.

For example, when reading "One Hundred Years of Solitude", the characters in it, Old Buendia, úrsula...their lives were narrated relatively completely by the author. There are views on marriage and love, education, and responsibility... You can find corresponding mental journeys at each stage. If you are a woman, you should know more about Ursula, how she has embodied the strength and perseverance of a woman in her family life for a hundred years.

In the process of experiencing, constantly reflect on yourself. After this kind of thinking friction, you will understand yourself better and better and constantly improve yourself.

Of course, many novels have this effect, such as "Pride and Prejudice", "Love in the Time of Cholera", "Snow Country"...

I hope this suggestion will be helpful to you Helpful!

You can use the Johari window to understand yourself

1. Public area

1. Disclosing oneself is particularly helpful in opening up interpersonal relationships and showing more to everyone. Your public zone can bring you closer to others. Opening yourself up is the basis for mutual understanding and mutual evaluation in interpersonal communication. Within the scope of safety and goodwill, the richer and more content that can be disclosed to everyone, the easier it is to eliminate barriers, misunderstandings, and suspicions with others, and the easier it is to reduce cognitive differences.

2 It takes a lot of courage to dare to be open and open to yourself, and to a certain extent, it is also very confident.

3. Open it step by step

(1) Step by step according to the depth of the relationship

(2) Parents must win their children’s rights when disclosing their children’s information. Agree

2. Blind area (blind self)

1. You don’t know it yourself, but others know it - that is, the authorities are confused and the bystanders know it

2. In intimacy In the midst of relationship conflicts, if you can use others to help you increase your understanding of yourself and liberate yourself from your blind self, you will be greatly improved.

3. Many conflicts in intimate relationships come from the blind area:

The speaker has no intention of speaking, but the listener has intention.

4. Everyone has a blind self-existence: for example, speaking faster when excited, frowning when thinking... (These can be adjusted through deliberate practice)

5. The blind area has two aspects

(1) There are some shortcomings of one’s own that one does not know

(2) There are some advantages of one’s own that one does not know

3. Hidden Area (Hidden Me)

What you know, others don’t know. The hidden area belongs to personal privacy and secrets, things that you don’t want others to know.

4. Unknown Zone

The part you don’t know and others don’t know, this part is the “potential” that is very relevant to everyone, your potential energy. In fact, there are a lot of parts that can be explored in this part. If this part is used well, everyone will feel that there is no limit in life.

Specific methods for exploring unknown areas:

(1) Through self-awareness, constantly clear up self-imposed limitations.

What can’t I do?

What can’t be done well?

What is impossible?

What are you doing that you don’t seem to have the right to do?

What would be slow to do?

What would you do badly?

(2) Ask family, friends, and colleagues the above questions.

(3) If there is a miracle in life that allows you to have no worries (such as wealth), fearlessness, and success, what will you do?

(4) In dreams, things may be fictional, but the emotions are real. Use this clue to open up the knot in your heart.

(5) Understand yourself through some tests

How can you truly understand yourself? The only way is to keep learning and cultivate yourself. How to do it specifically? Lock yourself in a room, think carefully for a period of time, and write down your strengths and weaknesses: In two parts, how many strengths and weaknesses are there? After writing these, I discussed with my parents and mentors to see what suggestions they had and what requirements they were dissatisfied with, so that I could continue to overcome my shortcomings and many things I couldn't do, bit by bit, etc. So we can continue to practice in reality and constantly improve ourselves.

Do you know yourself?

Can you see clearly the needs behind your emotions?

Can you accurately explain your behavior?

Can you defend yourself in a relationship without attacking others?

Can you remain unwavering no matter what problems you encounter?

Yohji Yamamoto said:

"A person's self is formed in the collision of relationships. A powerful person is tempered by a deep collision with powerful people, things and things." Deep collisions naturally involve all kinds of pain, even deep pain.”

But I think it is not only necessary to collide with powerful objects from the outside, but also to dare to go deep into your dark subconscious. Deep, so that you can see more magnificent scenery and refine yourself into a stronger self.

The subconscious mind is a very common concept in psychoanalysis. I believe many people are familiar with it.

People usually believe that their thoughts, emotions and behaviors are controlled by themselves, but psychoanalysis insists that what we think, feel and do is often controlled by what we don’t know. Manipulated by subconscious minds that I don’t understand.

There are many things that we do not want to be aware of and have settled into our subconscious mind. But once these things become conscious, they will become a part of our souls and can make our hearts truly become more beautiful than the sky. wide.

It is very necessary to know how to link and penetrate into the subconscious mind, and it also requires wisdom. The mind map is a mobile sandbox in your pocket. You can explore the magic mirror of your subconscious mind and understand yourself more deeply!

① Understand yourself through self-observation. To know ourselves, we must be a thoughtful person, often reflect on our performance in daily life, summarize what kind of person we are, and find out our strengths and weaknesses. Self-observation is an important way for us to educate ourselves and improve ourselves. Self-observation mainly includes three aspects: a. Observation of one's own appearance and physical condition, including observation of appearance, demeanor, health, etc.; b. Observation of self-image, mainly about one's position and position in the group in which one lives. Observation of functions, behavior in public life, and social adaptability. c. Observation of one's own spiritual world, including one's own political attitude, moral level, intellectual level, ability, personality, interests, hobbies, and specialties Observations etc.

②Understand yourself through others. The great writer Su Shi wrote: "If you don't know the true face of Mount Lu, you just have to be in this mountain." Sometimes it is difficult to know yourself. Generally speaking, the authorities are confused and the bystanders are clear. The attitudes and evaluations of people around us can help us know ourselves. , Understand yourself. We must respect other people's attitudes and evaluations and analyze them calmly. We can neither blindly follow nor ignore the attitudes and evaluations of others.

If you want to truly understand yourself: change your thinking first, thinking determines behavior!

1. Start by understanding personality. Personality is divided into temperament and character. Personality has five unified characteristics: stability, functionality, uniqueness, integrity, nature and society!

2. We are all unique. No two people have exactly the same personality. Various psychological characteristics in personality are intertwined and influence each other, forming an organic whole. The composition of personality is relatively stable. It has a consistent influence on people's behavior and is not limited by time and place; personality is the intermediary between external environmental stimulation and behavior, and it has a regulating effect on people's behavior; personality is formed in a certain social environment. A person's personality must reflect the characteristics of the social culture in which he lives and the influence of the education he receives. This is also the social restriction of personality. The formation of personality is based on the maturity of the nervous system. The two are inseparable from each other. , together determine a person's personality characteristics!

3. In addition to these theoretical knowledge, to understand yourself, you must always look inward and think more about the reasons behind your behavior. Personality is the intermediary between the external environment and behavior, and personality determines your behavioral reactions! We must continue to learn and improve our thinking to achieve higher cognition.