Sometimes when chatting with young friends, you will find that many of them live in a "tangled" state.
A job, unhappy, hard, overtime, low income, no sense of accomplishment-the problem is that the boss is also unhappy and thinks he can't do it;
A relationship is unhappy, wronged, forbearing, uncomfortable and insecure-the problem is that the other party is also unhappy and feels that he has paid a lot in vain.
Even in bed.
Unhappy-natural expression-the other party said it was obviously your problem-self-reflection: Is it really my problem? -break up in discord.
I thought about it and finally came up with this suggestion: you have to please yourself before you can please each other.
Take the bed as an example.
Do you know what's cool about yourself?
How do you behave when you are high?
You have to find your own first, and then, when the other person shows similar performance, you will know that the other person is also cool.
You are expressionless, thinking, "I'm tired of it, let's get it over with", but the other person, a normal person, is not happy.
After the incident, you feel psychologically lacking, subconsciously attacking, and consciously seeking compensation. ,
Unfortunately, however, the other party also feels lost.
Speaking of work:
What kind of job do you want?
Less money is easier?
So is the boss. The boss also wants you to reduce his workload.
How do you relax yourself and let him relax?
When I am in the office, I sometimes write documents.
Other colleagues wrote the manuscript and typed it back, and changed it four or five times.
Both sides are exhausted.
I finished it in two hours and put it in the drawer until the deadline.
It's too late for the leader to read it, and I don't have time to change it.
I picked out all the typos. The page is beautiful.
He gave it to me.
Everyone is very happy.
We are all relaxed.
Is this my calculation?
Of course not.
Because some colleagues did hand it in, and there were typos.
He thought that he would change it again and again anyway, so he didn't care, and it was in vain for both sides.
This is an in-depth topic and a book to talk about.
Bottom line: You don't know what you want until you know where you will be happy.