Zeng Guofan, a great scholar of the generation, had a very interesting nickname called Zeng Sanjie, which means: abstain from talking too much, abstain from anger, and abstain from asking for help.

Zeng Guofan devoted his life to cultivating his moral character, improving his moral standards and ideological realm, in order to complete the greatest Confucian ideal of cultivating himself, regulating his family, governing the country, and bringing peace to the world. The credo of self-cultivation and self-reflection.

So, why did Zeng Guofan emphasize the need to avoid talking too much?

When getting along with others, if you are nagging, you may lose your heart; if you speak without restraint, you will definitely be a sinner; as the saying goes, if you talk too much, you will make mistakes. If you lose people, you may lose your words, or if someone loses both words.

Zeng Guofan was a bachelor of the Hanlin Academy in Beijing when he was in his thirties. For his father’s birthday, he invited Zheng Xiaoshan, a doctor who was always close to the family. Later, for some unknown reason, he and Zheng Xiaoshan got into a quarrel.

Zheng Xiaoshan was very angry because it was her great-father's birthday party, but she couldn't bear it. Seeing this, Zeng Guofan took advantage of the situation, became complacent, spoke indiscriminately, and spoke in a very unpleasant way. Zheng Xiaoshan walked away, and the birthday party turned out to be quite unpleasant.

After the banquet, my great-father lectured Zeng Guofan, saying that he did not understand the general situation and had lost the quality and dignity of an intellectual. Soon after, my great-father also left Beijing and returned to his hometown.

Later, Zeng Guofan himself reflected on this matter in his diary and said that he had three major faults: self-righteousness, getting carried away, and being a sinner without knowing it.

He said: "After the discord, people are ordinary, but I am blatantly inhumane. The third is. Don't say evil words out of your mouth, don't complain back to yourself. If you don't know this, ask about others, remember This is a warning. ”

People are not sages. If they make mistakes, they will be close to sages.

Zeng Guoquan was transferred to the governor of Hubei Province and looked down upon his immediate superior, Guan Wen.

Guanwen was angry, and because Zeng Guoquan was a military general and did not understand officialdom, he helped Zeng Guoquan win a position to help with military affairs. Zeng Guoquan was overjoyed and forgot about foreign affairs. He wanted to express his gratitude to the imperial court for his important position. However, he realized that he was being tricked after being reminded by his brother Zeng Guofan. This position was quite inconsistent with his title and official position, and the meaning of ridicule was very strong.

Zeng Guoquan had a hot temper, so he found some solid evidence and asked his nephew Zeng Jize to take action. He wrote a memorial to the official document, listing the ten major crimes in the official document. The serious ones include colluding with the party to suppress the party and colluding with military aircraft. Ministers communicate secretly. This was a crime of confiscating a family and exterminating a clan. It caused an uproar in the court. All the military ministers were panicked and the officials were extremely angry. Even Cixi was alarmed and quickly sent people to Hubei to investigate. There was a sudden uproar.

After the ingenious mediation of Zeng Guofan and Zuo Zongtang, the matter was finally resolved and the turmoil that had arisen from the ground was calmed down.

Zeng Guofan taught in a letter to his younger brother:

Stop talking too much, don’t get entangled, and have less arguments. Otherwise, the day will not be far away when you will lose your family and lose your life.

First, arguments can easily lead to conflicts of temper.

"It is very special to disagree with each other and argue over and over again, and to have a sense of self-pity."

If a dispute arises, people will often ignore the facts and rely only on their own emotions. Arguing with the spirit is often unreasonable and hurtful to others, and getting angry can hurt the body.

Second, the essence of controversy is entanglement.

Excessive entanglement will cause huge internal friction. Whenever a business is established, internal friction will be too great, it will be difficult to accomplish things, and it will be difficult for the team to get together.

Third, there is no need to fight for interests.

As an official, you should not fight for interests. It will only bring greater disasters and hinder your self-cultivation. Zhang Ying relied on the high-ranking officials to give in to Sanchi and achieved the cleanliness of Liuchi Lane. Minghe is so open-minded that it doesn't matter if he has three feet.