2. Sacrifice the interests of the small family for brothers, sisters and relatives.
3. When encountering key problems, family members are bullied and have no attitude.
4, regardless of students, indifferent to children, thrown to parents, chic.
5. Serious preference for boys over girls and preference for boys over girls have planted the seeds of contradiction.
6, eat, drink, play cards and chat, but ask children to study hard to make money.
7. Spread the theory of the futility of reading and resist investing in children's education.
8. Husband and wife have bad feelings, great economic pressure and several children.
9. One mouth is opinions and emotions, with low cognition and self-righteousness.
10, can't make the right choice, dig a hole for yourself, others follow suit.
1 1, three incorrect views, not cultivating children's good habits, only instilling inappropriate values.
12, I didn't understand, and my cognition solidified, forcing my family to accept my point of view.
13, which brings dissatisfaction and complaints to children all day.
14, which makes children feel inferior.
My husband is 37 years old now. He has no personal interests, and he doesn't like dealing with people. Even during recess, he never goes out voluntarily. At first, I thought he was introverted, but as a result, I accidentally got to know my husband again by a move by my father-in-law! He is not simple!
After being married to my husband for so many years, he gave me the impression that he was dull, didn't know what to say when meeting people, and sometimes he was a little evasive. He has no hobbies and stays at home all day. Even if he is asked to take his son out to play, he always finds a place where no one is there, and he always seems to be avoiding people!
I am disgusted with his behavior, which mainly affects my son. He always likes to play at home alone and doesn't want to get in touch with people!
That day, my son suddenly told me that some students in his class were learning to draw, and he really wanted to learn! I want to study with him!
I was so happy to see my son suddenly interested in painting that I agreed without hesitation! In that case, at least you can let your son try to see if he has a gift for painting. Even if he doesn't, painting is a good hobby. At the same time, you can contact your child more and exercise his interpersonal communication!
That Saturday, I took my son to a training institution to learn about the market. One semester 1580 and 16 are not expensive. Without much thought, I was ready to sign up for class!
But when paying, embarrassed, the bank card bound by WeChat has no money (always thought that there is money in the bank card), Alipay is rarely used, and Alipay is even less likely to have money!
I called my husband and asked him to transfer some money to me, but the phone just couldn't get through. Then I suddenly remembered my in-laws and lived near here!
I came to my parents-in-law's house, when my father-in-law was at home, but when I explained the purpose of borrowing 2000 yuan, my father-in-law refused me directly without much thought and kept saying that he had no money! Even though I said I would pay him back tomorrow!
I can understand my father-in-law when I see him. After all, you have to think for yourself when you are old. What will he do if I don't pay him back?
Finally, I went back in a depressed mood and prepared to solve this matter tomorrow!
In the evening, I just used my husband's WeChat to transfer 2000 yuan to my own WeChat, and my husband's phone rang and my in-laws called!
On my husband's phone, I can vaguely hear my father-in-law talking with him about his son's interest in the class!
He warned her husband many times not to enroll his son in painting classes, which was a pure waste of money and time and delayed learning. With this time, it is better to learn more cultural knowledge! Without these before, the child didn't grow up?
After hearing what my father-in-law said, I realized why my husband became like this. In his childhood, he was not interested in anything but study (as my husband said) and was not allowed to be interested.
In social survival, I think interpersonal communication, emotional transformation, hobbies and so on are all needed. If we only pay attention to one aspect, it will have a great impact on the development of children.
Only look at the short-term results, and you can't see the outcome of 10 and 20 years later.
My elder sister gave birth to two daughters. The eldest daughter is tall, strong and beautiful. She graduated from junior high school, studied in vocational high school for three years, and then went out to work for several years. Later, she found a current husband who is 8 years older than her and is engaged in subway-related work. Before marriage, she bought a house in the provincial capital with a loan.
After they got married and had children, the niece took care of the baby at home, and the husband spent more than 4,000 yuan a month to support the mother and son.
My youngest daughter graduated from junior college this year and is going to take an undergraduate course for further study. My sister-in-law simply disagreed, let her graduate from college, work like a sister, and then marry a man like a brother-in-law. She also said that girls don't need to read a lot of books and waste time and money. Now they have the conditions to let their little niece finish the undergraduate course, but they are unwilling to do so.
Her little daughter didn't listen to her. She worked in winter and summer vacations and was going to borrow money to go to college.
Sister-in-law only sees that the eldest daughter is doing well now. Who knows 10 and what will happen in 20 years? And my niece's current diploma. When she comes out to work, it seems that she can engage in many occupations, but how many are good?
My niece thinks she can at least take the college entrance examination after finishing her undergraduate course. Now college diplomas and college entrance examinations are both problems.
This is a real example of parents who have a small pattern in their lives.
Ability, knowledge and vision are not broad enough. The influence of a family is enough to destroy a family and the next generation. What's in the bones, the subtle influence, is too difficult to change. This is a long-term struggle for one side. It's really tiring to get along with people with different views, and finally it's just silence. Fortunately, I am glad that children have their own ideas when they grow up. I have been trying to instill positive thoughts. If I can't change others, I will change myself, make myself strong and have the right to speak. Just Meng, a short track speed skater, if they can't catch up, let the facts speak for themselves.
Parents with a small pattern: when children meet people, they complain that their parents have not given them good conditions, which leads to their own future, and that's all. There are no parents with small patterns, only children with small patterns. Don't blame your parents until they suffer. Parenting is not a small pattern.
Small-scale parents prefer boys to girls, ignoring girls' education, thinking that girls don't need to be too good, they can learn, and they will definitely marry in the future. More than ten years ago, the future of a girl in the class was ruined by her stupid mother.
The girl's name is Macey. She is smart, sensible and diligent. Since the first day of junior high school, I have achieved excellent results and have been in the top five in my class. But by the time of the final sprint in the third grade, the psychological pressure was great and the results were fluctuating. Because her mother always said, if you don't do well in the exam, I won't give you an extra penny to go to school.
In the end, with her mother's "assistance", the girl failed in the senior high school entrance examination and was admitted to City No.1 Middle School by a few points.
In fact, it could still be remedied at that time. City No.1 Middle School had a supplementary record index in that year. To put it bluntly, it is to collect high-priced students. If the difference is within 10, you can go to No.1 Middle School by paying 10,000 a year. This is not a problem for parents who value their children, let alone 10 thousand. Pay100000 and you can go to No.1 Middle School. I wonder how many people will line up to pay.
However, the girl's mother finally refused to pay the enrollment expansion fee and the girl was assigned to the worst high school in the city.
After high school, girls still study hard, and the first monthly exam is the first in the whole grade, far ahead of the second. I don't know how many years this high school has not had such excellent students.
But the external environment in which a person grows up is also very important. Although high school girls have always been ahead, the teachers, learning environment and competitive atmosphere of the school are relatively poor. In my second year of high school, although I was still the first in my grade, compared with a good friend in the second middle school, my grades were far behind. Compared with the students in No.1 Middle School, the achievement gap is even bigger. You know, in junior high school, her grades were comparable to theirs.
In this way, three years later, the college entrance examination girls were admitted to an ordinary junior college, and there was no news from then on.
I sometimes think, if she is not a girl, if her parents have a bigger pattern and don't value sons over daughters, will her fate be different?
Parents with small patterns will not have children, because children will affect their lives. This is the ultimate mode.