Everyone is in the drama of this single age, and everyone can stay single mentally. Love is as high as house prices, and the risk of marriage is more than that of stocks. In the singles drama of this era, all singles must choose the right role and then take risks.
Text/Huang Junjie
In 2007, more people were suffering from the bad road conditions of marriage, and their happiness was at a crossroads: after the "fourth single tide" and "fourth marriage revolution" in 2006, the divorce tide in the Golden Week in 2007, and the game attitude of "flash marriage+flash divorce" after the 80s undoubtedly increased the single population in China.
There are still more than 160 days before Singles Day, but the free era of "everyone is single in his heart" has arrived. Logically speaking, everyone in China has only one choice. But from the spiritual point of view, lonely losers, pseudo-singles, sub-marriages and even happy housewives in love can all maintain a "single mentality". In the era drama without moral condemnation, being single can be understood as the beginning of the war between men and women, and it can also be understood as just a role-playing to explore life.
Free travellers
In 2007, singles chose "solitude" instead of "loneliness". More cities are building new subway lines and more people are moving to the suburbs. These young urban single aristocrats and single commoners continue to lose their dreams in order to get them, and lose their love in order to get them.
A man bought a small apartment to save money for his pension, and drove a small-displacement car with a speed of 2 kilometers per hour to block the road ... Young people advocate "minimalism" in life, regard 7- 1 1 as a restaurant, try to streamline housework and hire hourly workers. For them, the TV commercial song 7- 1 1 convenience store in Taiwan Province province. In an earlier survey conducted by New Weekly on the quality of life of singles, experts believe that with the development of economy, singles are a "single entertainment model" provided by social development.
Lao She wrote in Divorce: "Once the revolutionary youth get married, they will be honest." In 2007, this view is out of date-the vision of single and high-quality life is becoming the cover of China fashion magazine, and more young people in China are beginning to avoid marriage. In 2006, the "post-80s" young couples from Shanghai, Guangzhou, Nanchong, Changsha and other places exposed the problem of fragile marriage, and the phenomenon of "flash separation" was spreading. There is a saying in Japan that "marriage is due to passion, and divorce is due to economy". In China, these young people have become the representatives of "marriage due to passion and divorce due to fragility".
Chen, from the Marriage Registry in Jinshui District, Zhengzhou City, combined with his own life experience, "Divorces after less than one year of marriage have accounted for more than 1/4 of divorced families". Shanghai Minhang District Court has begun to summarize the post-80s divorce phenomenon. Combined with the judge's analysis, the only children who eat at their parents' home are high-risk groups, and the charges are "self-centered, lack of social experience, poor cooking skills, lack of patience and tolerance, eating the elderly, and having more fantasies about feelings than reality". Therefore, "it is difficult to play the role of husband or wife in marriage."
"Most divorces in the 1950s were arranged marriages; Divorce in the 1960s was mostly class; Divorce in the 1970 s was mostly due to the route. " Obviously, there should be another sentence after this jingle: "Divorced in the 1980s because I couldn't figure out why I got married." In the eyes of people born in the 1960s and 1970s, many post-80s marriages are at a loss and insecure, but most of them are "freelancers" who pay attention to self-enjoyment and marriage because they have no children and no children-their single phenomenon is a projection of this era. According to Socrates, who was accused of "damaging social morality", marriage or celibacy can be done according to one's own wishes-one will definitely regret it anyway.
Questioner
In 2007, a 44-year-old wife in Henan divorced with her husband (but remarried in less than 10 minutes) because she thought the bean sprouts she had bought for 20 years were a little rough. In the column of reasons, they filled in the abstract noun of "personality incompatibility"-middle-aged people who fled marriage are increasingly becoming the target audience of "Chinese divorce". They have eliminated their fear of divorce and believe Helen Roland's words: "Love is the pursuit; Marriage is chasing; Divorce is a problem. "
"When the expected benefits of' partnership' exceed the cost of staying single or continuing to find a spouse, individuals will choose to get married." Nobel Prize winner Gary S. Becker said. Then, the divorcee may just want to change the transaction mode of life-the frequency of asset reorganization in the marriage market is accelerating: although there are families who can get economies of scale, love is as high as house prices, and marriage is more risky than stocks, so more people consider closing their positions quickly before being trapped. Billboards on the streets of Chicago read "Life is short, get a divorce"; Mature men and women in China say that "divorce is the stripping of bad assets".
It is not complicated for an escapee to achieve his goal: Ugandans only need to kill a cow; Nepalese only need to put two betel nuts under their partner's pillow; As long as the Saudis say "divorce, divorce, divorce" to their spouses three times, they break up. 10 In 2003, after the implementation of the new marriage registration regulations, China people only need to bring their ID cards, household registration books and marriage certificates, and the divorce process will not exceed 20 minutes-an impulsive couple in Guangzhou divorced twice in 45 days.
However, there are many problems that the escapees need to consider: the media tycoon Murdoch paid 65.438+0.4 billion euros for the divorce, the political donor Sapers paid 65.438+0 billion euros, and the arms tycoon Kachouqi paid 700 million euros. For the married middle class, being single is undoubtedly a luxury, and he often has to cut as much as 50% of his assets in exchange for illusory freedom. Not everyone is like the boss of Chelsea. There is no suspense behind the divorce, which was inspired by President Putin.
During the "May Day" Golden Week, divorce climaxes appeared in Shanghai and Guangzhou. In Tianhe District, Guangzhou, divorce requires an appointment, and the queue sometimes takes one month. "When you marry a good woman, you find a safe haven in the storm; If you marry a bad woman, you will encounter a storm in the harbor. " Marriage is risky and timid; China people's ability to resist disasters has obviously improved-as an article about the "divorce tide" said: "100 years ago, Kang Youwei said that men and women are things, but it is good to be partial to human feelings; 100 years later, Liu Dongbei in Chinese Divorce said that the marriage law should clearly stipulate that the marriage period should not exceed three years. If it is good, it will continue for another three years, and it will not be good to pull it down. "
Mental singles
In May 2007, the reporter of Legal Evening News analyzed a result from the divorce data of Beijing court and civil affairs bureau office in 2006: "three-year itch" has replaced "seven-year itch". According to the divorce cases decided by the court, they found that in 2005, the first reason for divorce in Beijing was "affair", while in 2006, the most common reason for divorce in Beijing became "trivial matters of family life".
The popular song "Single Public Hazards" makes "Single Public Hazards" become a buzzword on the Internet. Married people can have some fun by "criticizing" single people, but in the tide of singles, they are not just bystanders. When love and marriage are regarded as antinomy, when Zhenhai Civil Affairs Bureau found that "Internet" and "economy" have become the two killers of marriage, more married people have a "single mentality"-weekend marriage, French marriage (sleeping in separate rooms), pseudo-single, sub-marriage, trial divorce ... They have dual identities, both as marriage owners and mentally single. You may think that they are also speculators in love.
Values have changed, just as the book "Single Community in Modern Cities" puts forward: "A way of thinking and behavior that is contrary to the traditional rules of the game is like a tropical vine with strong vitality, spreading around us with dense branches and leaves-how will men and women live after breaking free from the shackles of marriage?"
"If only a marriage based on love is moral, then only a marriage that lasts for love is moral." Engels' famous saying is often simplified as "Marriage without love is immoral". When more middle-class people over the age of 40 get married, there will be no such free era of good points and good points. When imagining and educating the "post-80 s" of flash marriage and divorce, there is no guarantee that their hearts will not be derailed. Perhaps this is also a state of mind: F4 secretly envies F4.
A role-playing and the future of a country
According to the 2007 Global Retirement Survey, young people in China began to plan their retirement from the age of 32. For single men and women, pension is not as simple as saving 625 yuan in the bank every month. For that hopeless future, they have to add stocks, funds and real estate courses to their life textbooks, and they have to prepare an exclusive insurance plan for themselves: buy whole life insurance or term life insurance? Do you need to apply for some medical insurance, accident insurance and cancer insurance?
The stress and anxiety caused by this single identity are not exclusive personal problems. China Youth Daily described the single life of a 27-year-old ordinary youth in China: "He didn't realize that he was in a new wave of urban youth singles, which caused some anxiety in China society."
Britney spears's marriage failed and she was depressed. She shaved her hair, became fat, and then lost weight. As Japan enters an aging society, girls in maid uniforms are forced to attract young people to donate blood to blood stations-the problem of being single has undoubtedly increased the workload of sociologists all over the world: in the past 25 years, the marriage rate in the United States has dropped by nearly 30%, and it was not until "9. 1 1" that the peak of marriage and childbirth was ushered in; The first generation of postwar baby boomers in Japan entered retirement, from "Narita divorce" to "premarital divorce" (divorce at the end of honeymoon), and being single undoubtedly made the aging society worse.
China's single concept also comes from the global single factory, but China people obviously have not converted like the United States, nor have they been deeply influenced by the aging society like Japan. 1995, single women working in a big company in Shanghai got the housing allowance alone and recorded it in the memorabilia of single people. This makes China people who have been worried about not getting married or buying a house start their emotional self-choice. By 2007, the number of single men and women in Beijing and Shanghai had already exceeded one million, middle-aged people were no longer afraid of divorce, and the post-80s generation with a population of 200 million suddenly saw a wave of divorce ... Among the 1024 single people in China interviewed by New Weekly and Souzhi survey agency, 244 people in China equated choosing single with choosing a lifestyle. For a person, being single is just a role-playing, which brings a new lifestyle and a new economic list; But for a country, the single tide under the general "42 1" family model is enough to affect the future direction of a country:
The youth population in China reached its peak in 1978, but this generation lacked children and old people to support, which directly became the driving force of a country's production and consumption and brought huge "demographic dividend". However, in 2007, according to the prediction of Emanuel Jimenez, director of the East Asia and Pacific Human Development Bureau of the World Bank, this "demographic dividend" will disappear in China around 20 10-suddenly, in the scene of the marriage era full of betrayal and freedom, crowded cities, pressure of consumption, social security, over-developed environment and aging population will be accompanied.
Tips: Analysis Report of Single Joint Investigation
Text/Yang Hongze Liu (Souzhi Investigation Agency)
"New Weekly" magazine, together with intelligence research institutions and www.00 100.cc, conducted a survey on "China Single Report", aiming at comprehensively understanding the status quo, ideas and existing pressures of singles in China. Six representative towns such as Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, Shenzhen and Chengdu were selected for telephone sampling survey, and 24 valid samples were collected. The research of the joint research group shows that singles are a group with strong self-awareness, advocating consumption and enjoying life; Faced with traditional ideas, they start from their own life experiences and make the choice of being single or not. Being single didn't bring them too much pressure. On the contrary, they feel good about their current single life, but they are still eager to enter the married life and have children after marriage.
Most immigrants are single.
The definition of "single" in this survey is unmarried people, of which unmarried and single people account for 52.73%; Unmarried and in love accounted for 23.44%; Unmarried cohabitation accounted for19.73%; Divorced people account for 4. 10%, and "pure" singles account for the majority. According to the survey, the respondents' housing situation is mainly renting houses, accounting for 3 1.64%, and most of them are small-sized houses below 90 square meters, accounting for 72.46%. In Beijing, Shanghai, Shenzhen and other large and medium-sized cities, this ratio is particularly obvious, and the proportion of single rental in Shenzhen is as high as 52.73%. The proportion of migrants in such cities is high, and the housing situation is mainly renting houses. However, due to economic, social and cultural differences, it is likely that the proportion of singles in the floating population is relatively high.
Advocate consumption and pay attention to enjoying life.
The survey shows that 28.6% people buy luxury goods without consideration; 16% go to bars, KTV and other nightlife places at least once a week; 3 1.6% people spend the most on social consumption such as entertainment or parties, and only 5.4% people do savings insurance for the future, which shows that singles now pay more attention to their quality of life and advocate high-consumption life. Especially for people with a monthly income of 7,000 to 20,000, the data of these three items are higher than others.
Choosing to be single is more out of realistic conditions.
As for the main reasons why respondents are single, the survey results show that lifestyle choice is the most choice, accounting for 23.8%; For the formation of the concept of single, most of the respondents chose from the realistic conditions (45.3%) and their own life experiences (40.3%), while facing the traditional concept of marriage, 38. 1% of the people were unmoved, which only slightly affected 30% of the singles.
This shows that people's concept of being single has changed. Being single is not a vacuum before marriage, but an optional lifestyle. On the other hand, people choose to be single more because of their own realistic conditions and judgments on their own life experiences, and the people around them, literary works and even traditional concepts have little influence on them. Mainly because the current social environment leads to the accelerated pace of life, people have to bear more pressure, and being single may also be a helpless choice. Among all kinds of occupations, business owners/shareholders/vice presidents of large and medium-sized enterprises choose "lifestyle choice" the most, accounting for 40.9%, and this kind of people have the greatest work pressure, which also confirms this problem from the side.
Being single feels good.
During the investigation, we asked the respondents to evaluate their single life quality on a scale of 0 to 100, with an average score of 7 1. In addition, more than half or 62.4% of the respondents think that being single has not brought them pressure, which shows that most of the respondents are satisfied with their single life and feel good about themselves.
For 37.6% respondents who think they are under great pressure, the main pressure comes from family, and parents' "nagging" has a great influence on singles.
Marriage or the end of single life.
According to the survey, nearly half of the respondents think that the duration of being single is 1-3 years, and only 5% of them plan to be single for more than 10 years or even a lifetime. It can be seen that most of the respondents are still eager for marriage, and being single is not because of fear of marriage itself. After the realistic conditions are ripe, most people will still choose to enter the marriage hall. As for the attitude towards fertility, nearly 60% people choose to have children after marriage, and people who are not traditional organizations "DINK" families (do not intend to have children) are still in the minority.
(For detailed results and data of this survey, please visit www.00 100.cc).
Second, "Single Economy Report: How do single men and women make money?" 》
Small apartments, cross-border cars, marriage websites, pet hospitals, commercial insurance ... In the consumption list belonging to single aristocrats, people can easily sniff out the characteristics of "single economy" and find the corresponding genealogy map one by one in the real business world.
Text/He Xiong Fei
"In married families, there is usually no good champagne." 100 years ago, a small detail told by the British writer Wilde easily destroyed people's beautiful yearning for family.
100 years later, being single is becoming a new trend. In Sweden, the number of single families aged between 25 and 40 who like to live alone and are often accompanied by pets is growing rapidly, accounting for half of the total number of families in the country. The United States, France, Germany, Britain and Denmark account for 25%-40%. China is no exception. According to the latest census statistics, due to the coexistence of "older unmarried population" and "younger divorced population", China has entered the fourth "single wave". "The single rate in China's future society may be stable at around 30%." Zuo Xiao Si, Associate Research Fellow, Institute of Sociology and Demography, Guangdong Academy of Social Sciences.
Different from the past, this single wave of people is mainly concentrated in the middle class with education and economic strength. The concept of this community has changed. In order to enjoy life, they choose to be single. Compared with married people, they look down on savings and are keen on consumption. "In this era of uncertainty, we have invested more time in our career. What we are discussing together is not getting married, but where to travel next time. " Shen Yan, Marketing Manager of IKEA Guangzhou Shopping Mall, is a typical single person. She was born in/kloc-0 in the late 1970s and wore D&; G glasses and Cartier watches, she described to the reporter of New Weekly that their group entered the middle level of 10,000 to 20,000 foreign companies every month. The new life attitude and values of single ethnic groups are also quietly changing the business form, thus giving birth to the "single economy". The top 30% single aristocrats in the consumption pyramid have become the new favorites of businesses.
Single aristocrats are "four high" people: highly educated, high quality, high income and high pressure. In their consumption list, people can easily smell the characteristics of "single economy" and find the corresponding pedigree in the real business world: high income and economic independence make their consumption present a dual structure of enjoyment and investment-single apartments, small-displacement cars, luxury brand clothing, accessories and supplies, Taobao online shopping, high-end cosmetics and personal care products, various fitness clubs, beauty salons and VIP cards. Become the main force in their consumption list. Highly educated, high-quality, and high-pressure-MBA refresher courses, overseas training, traveling, reading fashion magazines, cultural books, enjoying DVDs and vinyl records, attending fashion parties, parties and other social entertainment activities have become an important part of their lives. However, due to excessive overdraft, they also face the risk of premature death. Therefore, the security insurance (death, illness, accident) and financial insurance (education, pension) in commercial insurance have become the amulets of single aristocrats.
The narrow concept of "single women's economy" put forward by McCarthy, a western economist, in 200 1 is gradually evolving and expanding today, and has created huge entrepreneurial opportunities in real estate (single apartments, DIY houses), automobiles (small-displacement cars), marriage, socialization, education, insurance, advertising, publishing, entertainment and media industries, in this rich virgin land.
Marriage and Divorce Website: The Next Gold Mine for Venture Capital
"9 15, 9 15, want me! Want me! " Xu Tianli took an interesting homonym for his "bachelor marriage network".
Xu Tianli, a 34-year-old new Shanghainese, is also single. He told New Weekly that he, like those narrow-minded Dr. Haigui who adhered to the principle of "Que Ning does not abuse", had been to the matchmaking agencies on the streets of Shanghai many times, spent thousands of dollars and met several people, but he dared not compliment them on their quality and integrity. Going to a dating website is even more luck.
In 2005, Xu Tianli decided to do it himself. After market research and experience in operating commercial websites, he found the gap in the high-end matchmaking market. "In 2005, there were more than10 million millionaires in China. If 10% of them need marriage service and are willing to pay tens of thousands of yuan to get married, it will be a market of tens of billions! Marriage directly affects your happiness for the rest of your life. The average person may only spend a few thousand yuan in love, but for our marriage seekers here, it is completely worthwhile to take out 1 10,000 yuan for love choice. "
In 2006, on June 25th, 2006, +065438+ "China Millionaire's First Collective Wedding Party" caused media uproar. On autumn night, 20 bachelors with a net worth of 2 million and 30 beautiful women boarded a luxury cruise ship with a ticket of 28,800 yuan in Huangpu River, and the ladies all wore masks. This mysterious party that refuses the media has been talked about by Xu Tianli so far. "This is our first party, and this idea was put forward by senior members. They think it will be more efficient to meet many people at once. " This Valentine's Day, Xu Tianli held another secret party, this time from the boat to the ground, in a five-star hotel. "The effect is not bad. Due to the limited space, the number of people is less than 50 and there are too many people, which is not conducive to quality control. "
Diamond bachelor dating network only registers two types of members: one is a single rich man with personal or family property of more than 2 million yuan, and the other is a beautiful woman or young talent with excellent quality. "At present, we have 30,000 members in the pyramid structure," Xu Tianli said. "There are less than 65,438+000 diamond members, mainly private entrepreneurs, company executives and artists. The annual fee is 20 thousand, and you can enjoy personal love customization and doctoral consultant team service. There are thousands of national and provincial members, with an annual fee of 3,000 yuan, and the annual fee for ordinary members is 600 yuan. Service is directly proportional to cost. "
"By making a website, my marriage problem has been basically solved," Xu Tianli said happily. His company has more than 50 employees and has also opened a branch office in Beijing. "Every year, the investment is in the millions, which is roughly to live within our means and make ends meet. Now, I am also accepting small venture capital. "
In China, matchmaking is a big industry. In 2005, the online marriage and love market in China was about 9 1 100 million yuan. According to the research of iResearch market, the market will continue to grow at a high speed in the next three years, with a market scale of 653 million yuan in 2008. This has attracted a lot of investment from venture capitalists. In the first year of its establishment, Lily.com has absorbed two rounds of financing 1 1 ten thousand dollars. China dating center, marry me and other websites are also booming. Jiayuan, a partner of MSN, claims to have 350,000 members and has obtained several huge venture capital investments. VC, whose priority is profit-seeking, wants to turn them into Yahoo in the United States one by one! Personally, matchcom and eharmony are the same online marriage giants.
The business opportunities of "marriage economy" aimed at ending single are surging, and the "divorce economy" aimed at ending marriage is also booming. Recently, the BBC made a new discovery: "If you ask China which field is a new investment hotspot, maybe no one will think that this is actually a' divorce economy'"!
"Marriage is for a better life, and divorce is for a better life. Advise those who are at the fork of the marriage road to bravely divorce! " As early as 2005, there were at least 40 divorce websites founded by lawyers in China. Most of the members were white-collar workers under the age of 40, and some of them were foreign-related marriages. On the fifth day of opening, a "divorce company" in Hangzhou accepted five cases of divorce entrustment, with an income of 9,700 yuan. Most customers are rich people, and companies often charge 1%-3% for property division in divorce cases. This is a complete "divorce industrial chain" composed of divorce investigation, divorce consultation and divorce litigation, and "divorce economy" has become the next investment "gold mine" of VC.
In the United States, the tide of dating websites that rose 10 years ago has also evolved into a "divorce tide", and more and more couples divorce through the Internet. An American lawyer said that among his divorced clients, 1/5 was a couple he met online. "Free consultation, no lawyer, 595 euros to help you divorce", a Flemish-language "divorce website" in Belgium advertised that anyone can divorce in three steps at home as long as they follow the tips on the webpage. Divorce websites are extremely popular in Belgium, which is related to the average13 marriage failure in Belgium. Sociologists predict that by 2065, 438+00, the number of agreed divorces in Belgium will account for more than 85% of the total number of divorces, which provides sufficient customer protection for online divorce service providers.
Single apartment: 40 square meters of private space for sale
"forget the sorrow, forget him and start a new life." This is a huge advertisement for a real estate in Shanghai. In just a few weeks at the end of last year, the 32-story building with 520 single apartments was sold out. The seller said that more than 30% of the buyers are single women, aged between 22 and 25.
"This is specially prepared for single people. Even the toothbrush is ready. You only need to carry a bag to check in. "
Not far from Ningbo, single apartment buildings are also selling well. In a space of 40 square meters, bedrooms, kitchens, balconies, furniture, air conditioners, water heaters and range hoods are all available. Opening only 1 month, this property has sold 300 sets. There are also real estate developers who enthusiastically organize owners' clubs to provide opportunities for singles to make friends, live in communities and exercise to help them eliminate loneliness.
The upsurge of single apartment driven by the single tide has stirred up the real estate developers in major cities in Chun Qing. "Owning your own house can make you more free. No house, nothing. You can only choose to get married. " Single women have become the best in the wave of buying houses. In 2005, the largest number of people buying real estate in Japan was also single women, so that real estate developers specially developed "women's apartments", and this trend is also changing the relationship between men and women. As Woolf described in My Own House, economic independence can make women no longer depend on anyone. With their own rooms, women can think calmly and objectively and experience a "life as light as a spider's web" with their own gender. Their single life may be temporary or permanent, and only the house is the strongest capital in their life.
Some nobles living in single apartments find it difficult to buy suitable furniture. 1998 entered Shanghai, 1999 entered Beijing, and IKEA in Guangzhou in 2005, which soon became the favorite of single aristocrats. "Among our customers, 30% are single, and they are becoming an increasingly important consumption force." Shen Yan, Marketing Manager of IKEA Guangzhou Store, told New Weekly.