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Yiyi is a very quiet girl. She is conscientious and responsible in her work, and treats people sincerely. We can't speak ill of her. Even women think that marrying Yi Yi is a blessing in the last life.
She gave birth to a child soon after she got married. Her husband is an alcoholic. When he just got back from drunkenness, he kept talking, and sometimes he scolded one by one without saying a word. Later, after a long time, he even spoke wildly to his wife and even began to call names. Later it developed into a fight.
Rabbits bite when they are in a hurry. They bit him one by one, but every time they were black and blue.
The next day she went back to her parents' house, and she didn't want to talk about it. They saw the bruise on her arm and asked what it was. When asked, tears came out one by one.
Her mother said that the couple quarreled at the end of the bed and went back today. Husband and wife don't have a one-night feud. It will be fine in a couple of days. Although his father was angry, the family always had the fucking final say, so he pushed it down.
what can I say? I'm going back.
Until one time, my brother came to my sister's house at school for one night and heard her crying in the back room in the middle of the night. Her brother-in-law was beating her. The family realized how much their daughter had suffered in recent years.
Married daughters are spilled water. Since everyone who gave birth to her and raised her threw her out like water, how can others cherish her? Daughters are raised like sons, one foot and five inches, both born by their parents. How to treat it differently? In the final analysis, it's all the concept that men are superior to women. Love rat is sure that you are a "good family", and you can't get any dust before your daughter's fists and feet add up.
If you can't support your daughter in money and background, at least make her feel that she is not alone. Even if you say something to your daughter when she complains, she will feel very reliable. The bloody fact that a mother jumped from a building with two children seems to be in front of her eyes. As parents, I didn't give my daughter enough sense of security, especially when her daughter was cornered, otherwise there would be no such tragedy.
02
My colleagues and I have talked about this topic. I said that parents should teach their daughters the basic ways to protect themselves. People who are too kind are easily bullied. Everyone has his own position and principles, so parents can worry less.
My mother-in-law was there. She said angrily, how can I teach a woman? In that case, women will fidget and cause trouble in their husbands' homes. That's just an orphan. A good family won't let a woman get ahead.
I am speechless, because this old saying, which has solidified into a famous aphorism, sounds very reasonable.
Old people have their own philosophy of existence. They grew up in a backward cultural background, and their outlook on life is outdated. We have no right to judge right or wrong, but as a new generation, we should stick to the right thing and not be brought into the fifties and sixties by the older generation to live.
Back to the topic of "good family", young people are unified at this point and should be the solid backing of their daughters.
Talking about this topic with a male colleague, he was particularly angry and said that he couldn't stand my girl being wronged at all. That's easy to say. I won't spare my woman if she is condescending in five places.
Being a daughter's backer is not out of thin air, but emphasizes that her daughter will be raised like a baby all her life, and her parents will be there no matter what happens.
When a daughter is in trouble, a kind word of "nothing, dad will support you" and a kind word of "three winters are warm" will give her more strength to meet a new life.
In addition, since both parents are elders, they have the responsibility to help the younger generation. Did the man's parents do it right Why did the woman's parents come forward to mediate and help but were not recognized and accepted? Sometimes they are generally attacked and abused by the man's family, and even the value recognition of the whole society is more inclined to let the woman's parents pretend to be deaf or knowledgeable to push their daughters out of the door.
I thought the concept of small family talents was backward. See what Tong Liya's father said when his daughter got married, such as cooking for Mr. Chen and waiting on Mr. Chen in the future. There is no mention of letting Mr. Chen's family treat their daughter well. I see, this concept is old and kills people. It's only been a long time since women "don't marry from their fathers, marry from their husbands and die from their sons". No wonder we are asked to be "good parents". They are all very wise.
This is condoning domestic violence, love rat's evil deeds and even crimes. Wake up, good parents!
03
If you have decided to end a marriage, you will be scolded and stopped by your parents when you go back to inform them. For example, there is no divorce at home, which is very shameful; For example, the first bowl of rice is delicious, who else can you find, and it can only get worse and worse; For example, it doesn't matter who you have been with or who you have been married with.
Few parents will say, son, just think about it.
This extreme example is to show that we should give children room to grow up freely and let them do everything and make their own decisions, even if you know the ending is wrong.
But this process is sometimes cruel.
Let my son put on his pants two days ago. He kept crying for me to help him wear it. I have decided to let him do it by himself. So no matter what he cried, he ignored him, and so he cried more and more. I went back to the dormitory once in the middle, but he still asked me to wear it for him. Finally, I couldn't help but go back and urge it again. He asked me to let him go first, but I didn't agree. My son cried his eyes out, so I had to wear it. After playing for a long time, it is estimated that there is no hope, so I will wear it myself.
The son finally said, can mom give me a hug? I was so angry that I didn't want to hug him and left. He was crying alone in the room. When I turned around, tears came out. His father is speechless for us.
I didn't wear pants for my son until the end. The whole process was particularly cruel, but in order for him to take care of himself, he had to do it himself.
This is a small matter, but there are many such things in life. Parents should adhere to the principle of "yes" and "no", and the boundaries between "can" and "can't" should be clear. When children get used to it, they will understand that "principle" is non-negotiable, and they can be principled and distinguish right from wrong when dealing with their own affairs.
A principled person who knows right and wrong will know how to stick to his bottom line in all aspects. If she is a girl, she can live a life with a sense of boundary under the guidance of principles and right and wrong.
04
Qian Jibo, Qian Zhongshu's father, wrote China and the General Trend of the Earth when he was 16 years old, and published it in Xinmin Cong Bao. Jiang Yang's father, Yang Yinhang, studied in Japan and the United States, and obtained a doctorate in law from the University of Pennsylvania.
After their marriage, Qian Zhongshu and Jiang Yang went to study in England and gave birth to their daughter Qian Yuan. Yuanyuan didn't return to China until she was four years old. She can speak several languages, including English, Chinese and French, but her family atmosphere has helped her a lot, and her study has not fallen behind. Qian Yuan, professor, doctoral supervisor.
In fact, the height of parents is the starting line for children. If there is a saying of "losing at the starting line", it refers to the backwardness of parents' culture and class. Therefore, your thinking mode and economic freedom determine the future standing height of your child, especially your daughter.
Before a girl gets married, her living habits, consumption patterns, lifestyles and values are all influenced by her parents and family. Once married, she should integrate into a brand-new ecosystem as soon as possible, and sometimes face the reality of violating her existing value system.
At this time, it is normal to feel uncomfortable.
If you don't be a good mother and a deaf-mute family, won't you be a man? Listen to your daughter's bad feelings as an outsider, and you will know what you should do. It is also the responsibility of parents to put your position right.