The general strategy to refuse is to affirm first and then refuse, giving the other party a "soft landing" opportunity. "Soft landing" uses conjunctions to connect the preceding with the following. "Soft landing" is best to "slap and rub", which will eliminate the pain caused by rejection. For example, "I know your difficulties, but you are a reasonable person, and I believe you can understand my difficulties." "I know what you mean, and I agree with you, but …" and "If it was my turn, I would do the same, just …" and so on. Being rejected by people, for whatever reason, is an unpleasant thing, even if it is a leader.

after being rejected, people are more or less sorry and uncomfortable. Therefore, if you want to continue to maintain a good relationship with each other, you must do a good job of "disinfection" after rejecting others to avoid future troubles. After rejecting others, we must first gain their understanding.

second, the plan to slow down the troops

in the process of working for the leaders, the plan to slow down the troops is still very useful. For example, if someone asks you something, but you can't do it, and because of face, you can't refuse it too directly. At this time, you need to use the plan of delaying tactics, first agree, and then give him an explanation.

Zeng Guofan has a classic saying: "If things are slow, things will be round." Therefore, delaying tactics is the best way to solve difficult problems, which not only does not offend leaders and customers, but also reflects their communication skills.

Third, rock the boat

If you refuse the other party, if you say "I can't", "I don't know" and "I can't like you" directly, it will be too dull and artistic, which will make the other party unable to step down. At this time, we can use tactful and humble strategies, such as offering flowers to Buddha.

The so-called offering flowers to Buddha means borrowing other people's words to imply or using other things as metaphors when it is not good to directly refuse others, and euphemistically expressing the meaning of one's refusal. This will neither offend people nor be too passive.

Fourth, change the subject

According to the requirement of identity, you should give a direct answer to the questions raised by the other party. But when you don't want to refuse directly, you might as well choose a topic that has nothing to do with the original topic by means of "irrelevant answer".

v. preemptive strike

preemptive strike focuses on the word "first" and the word "system" is more important. When you find that others are going to say something against you or ask you to do something you don't want to do, you can speak first, or block, or surround, or pressure, or persuade (explicitly tell the other person not to speak), or cut off (interrupt the other person's topic and change with other topics). In this way, we can firmly grasp the initiative of communication and achieve the purpose of refusal.

6. Quit despite difficulties

In the process of working for a leader, you often encounter some embarrassing questions. If you refuse to answer, it will appear that you are rude; If you use the diplomatic term "consider" to answer, it will give the other party an expectation and the problem will continue to exist. Then, you might as well use the method of retreating from difficulties to subtly refuse each other.