1

I struck up a conversation with a girl at a bar. I saw her drinking depth charges. I walked over and said:

"This drink is very slutty. You probably won't be able to hold it."

She looked at me and said, "That's not necessarily true, you have to try."

I smiled nonchalantly and said, "Sure enough, all girls do. Curious cat, I’m sitting behind you. If you get drunk, come find me to accompany you.”

After saying that, I left without looking back. Within five minutes, she was carrying two bags. He held a bottle of cocktail and sat down next to me.

She didn’t say much. She clinked her glasses and downed the drink in one gulp. She twitched her lips at me and smiled politely. After we had a toast, we added WeChat messages to each other before parting.

2

People often ask me, how should I start a conversation with a girl?

I have never wanted to answer this question.

Because, after you have struck up a conversation countless times, words are no longer important. What matters is image, attitude, and aura.

Just like when I talk to this girl, I feel comfortable talking about it, just like an old friend reunited after a long separation. Once you are generous, she will naturally relax.

Especially in bars and nightclubs, this kind of girl has been approached more times than you can count on your fingers. Instead of shrinking back and letting them look down upon you, it is better to get straight to the point and show more sincerity.

However, my story with her did not go smoothly.

Three

It has to be said that in this era of rampant dog-licking, girls have already been praised as goddesses because of the pampering of spare tires.

The same goes for this girl. She is so cold and aloof that we can’t even chat on the APP.

For example, almost all the messages I sent her that night were filtered, and what she responded to were either a few words or emoticons, or even no reply at all.

After trying a few words to make me laugh, but the other person was still cold and short, I began to change my strategy, actively cut off the conversation, and quietly waited for the next opportunity.

Remember, any chat must be based on "the girl responds well, or at least is willing to respond to you now". Otherwise, no matter how you make jokes, it will not matter in the eyes of the other party. He's just a clown talking to himself.

There were many boys, and it was obvious that the girls didn’t want to talk to him. They just barely exchanged greetings with him out of the most basic social courtesy, and he was still nervous and talking non-stop. This goes on. Sooner or later, girls who are patient will be dragged into the blacklist.

In addition, a problem that many boys will have is that from the beginning, chatting with girls is regarded as a test.

They thought to themselves: What should I do if I can’t talk well? Did I answer the wrong question just now? How to find topics she likes, etc... The more you think like this, the more panicked you become.

There is a saying that if you take it seriously, you will lose.

Gentlemen who claim to have a righteous outlook on things sneer at this sentence and think it is poisonous chicken soup. However, only those who have experienced many hardships in love will understand that this sentence is a poisonous chicken soup. What a wise saying.

So, what you have to do for the girl you like is to "not be so serious" so that you can control your neediness.

In the chat, if the other party's response is poor, then you should hibernate first, patiently catch her next window appearance, and then hit it with one hit.

Four

The turning point of the story happened half a month later.

She posted a group of friends after returning from travel, with the text "I'm back, do you have a date for a drink?"

I commented: You are so greedy for wine, you are a drunkard.

She replied to me with a comment: Hahaha, don’t worry about getting drunk.

This sentence made me feel the weak window, so I opened the private chat and said: "Where is the date we agreed on?"

Her: "Huh?"

Me: "I mean, we can make a date for a drink when we have time."

She said that she had just come back and needed to tidy up. If she had time in the evening, she could pick a place. I said OK. At this point, the date was officially finalized.

In fact, some people may be surprised, thinking that there is nothing to say or foreshadowing, so why did they make an appointment?

Let me start by saying that the reason why I started by saying "We agreed to go on a date" is because there are two knowledge points here:

1. I met her through a conversation. We had a drink, but it was not the first time we met. We were still half-acquainted with each other, so I dared to invite him directly. If we were netizens who met through social media and had never met, then of course we would have to have a good chat before we could make a date.

2. Girls who can go to bars and bars will not be too conservative. They are bold and cunning. You can easily ask them out. There is no need to be secretive, otherwise they will look down on you. , I assume that you have the heart but not the guts to do it, but what should be noted here is that if they don't like you, then even if you make a date, you will never take advantage.

Finally, here’s what I said: Where’s the date we agreed on?

This sentence feels a bit nonsensical and mindless, but if you taste it carefully, it will not give girls any reason to refuse.

For many boys, asking a girl out is always the same thing - can I treat you to a movie?

So, the answer you get is nothing more than yes or no.

Even a girl who has a crush on you may reject you due to her reserve.

Do you think you were wronged or not?

To this sentence, the girl will definitely reply with a question, because you have never dated her before. Next, no matter what she replies, you can say, "Then make a date now." , "Haha, isn't it too late to make an appointment?" etc.

This kind of invitation is more like a friendly and playful invitation, rather than some loser's entreaty, which is like a plea for the other party to visit you.

Five

It is worth mentioning that when I was approaching the appointment location, I felt a little dry, and there was no concession stand here.

I sent her a message: Bring me a bottle of water.

Many boys always feel that they have to be gentlemanly, so during the date, they are like a knight, riding a horse on the princess. But we must know that at the end of every fairy tale, the princess chooses the prince. .

Why?

Because the prince will ride on the horse, pull the princess behind him with his hands, let her hug his waist, and move forward together - their status is equal.

The knights are guardians. They will only let the princess sit on the saddle, while they humblely hold the horse rope below - their status is unequal.

Therefore, during a date, never take on all the responsibilities. For example, pay for all the money for the date yourself, do all the work yourself, and let the girl enjoy and score. However, your posture is too low, which is not conducive to the healthy development of a relationship.

You also need to make girls pay appropriately. For example, after dinner, you can directly ask, "Please treat me to a movie. After all, dating is a matter of two people, why should I ask you?" To give alone?

Damn knight, remember, you want to be a prince who can grab and pull you!

And I asked her to bring me a bottle of water, and the same thing happened.

Just a bottle of water.

It's nothing, but it conveys another message - I am different from those losers who call themselves "knights" and only know how to flatter you.

Don’t think that girls will think you are stingy. In fact, these girls are simply spoiled. As long as they are in front of worthy boys, they will not have that unreasonable and delicate air.

For example, when Daniel Wu agreed to go on a date with them, Daniel Wu said, "I have no money. I believe these girls will have to scramble to get their wallets first."

We are not Daniel Wu, but we must at least have the confidence and momentum of Daniel Wu.

Six

It’s time for a date.

When we met again, I looked her up and down. She had long dark yellow hair draped over her shoulders, an oval face, and her eye makeup showed her to be five points charming and five points cold.

Especially the height of 1.7 meters makes her feel unattainable.

I said: "Why did you come here wearing slippers?

"

She broke through the power in a second, and her original aloof aura disappeared. She said that her home was close anyway and she was in a hurry, so she didn't change into high heels. As she said that, she handed me the water I asked for. < /p>

In fact, when you first meet on a date, how to break the ice is to find topics from the other person, either by praising or teasing, just like a friend who has not seen you for a long time, it is natural.

Seven.

Me: I know there is a pub nearby, it’s quite quiet.

She: Why did you suddenly come to me for a drink?

Me (laughing): It was a group message. ).

She: This is too true.

Me: They are all men except you.

Then why didn’t you find me? Your friend goes.

Me: Because I came to find you (creating an ambiguous atmosphere)

In the above paragraph, I used the push and pull technique to tease her, and then suddenly. Serious, I said "because I came to find you", and the atmosphere was instantly pushed to ambiguity. You know, what kind of boys do girls generally like?

It's just a little bit informal, but this is the point. The kind that doesn't affect my seriousness without affecting my son's seriousness.

The push-pull reflects my non-serious side.

The last sentence controls the ambiguous atmosphere. p> It is my serious and serious side.

Eight

My first impression of this girl is that she is a nightclub veteran.

In fact, I was wrong.

She has a reserved personality and doesn't talk much. When she speaks, she has a deep voice like Zhou Xun, and she has a sense of story. , often very attractive.

To be honest, I don’t know much about her past. Later I learned that she was only twenty years old, but her cold temperament was seriously inconsistent with her current age. .

The unspeakable past and memories are mixed between her eyebrows, and she wraps up her emotions quietly, neither crying nor fussing. The more this girl is, the more heartache she makes.

When I arrived at the tavern, as a regular customer, the boss smiled brightly when he saw me.

This is called social certification.

In fact, good popularity is also important in the eyes of girls. This is a value that attracts them, because it means that you are very popular.

Who doesn’t like popular people?

Especially this popular person also likes himself. , I feel happy just thinking about it.

That’s why I sometimes recommend going to familiar places for dates. That is, if you meet an acquaintance and say a few words to you, this will give you points invisibly. Less.

The boss looked at me, looked at her, and said with a smile: "Girlfriend? "

Before she could continue, I said: "We are just friends. "

After speaking, he raised his eyebrows at her, "Yeah. "

She smiled, turned away, and said nothing, but it was obvious that she couldn't help laughing.

Knock on the blackboard, here is a knowledge point.

Just outside When people ask "Are you a couple?", as long as you have not officially confirmed your relationship, no matter how ambiguous, close, or even having sex, as long as your status is not clear, just insist on: friends

I have suffered losses before. For example, once when I was having sex with a girl, my matching teammate asked if you were a couple. I happily said "yes", but the girl denied it and said no, and I was immediately embarrassed. On the spot.

After all, girls have to be reserved and can do whatever they want in private. In front of outsiders, they are very concerned about society’s evaluation and opinions, so you say that she is your girlfriend without her consent. This is a big taboo.

If you say you are just a friend, it will make the girl think that she has not conquered you yet. If she really likes you, this will only arouse her desire to challenge. The attraction to you will further deepen.

As I said before, in addition to attacking, you must also learn to retreat appropriately.

Nine

We sat down in the pub, ordered a bottle of wine and a plate of snacks, and started chatting. Since we didn’t interact much on WeChat, this time we mainly exchanged information and deepened our understanding.

Let’s leave aside some birthday and work topics for the time being. In fact, chatting is about showing yourself in the exchange of information. For example, during the communication, I revealed that I studied psychology.

She immediately became interested and said, "Look, what am I thinking about now?"

I said no problem, let’s play a game. She said no problem, and I said, put the phone on the table.

After she did so, I sent her a message on WeChat and said: I already know what you are thinking.

She looked at me provocatively: Then tell me.

I said: Do you know what I sent you?

She said: I don’t know.

I smiled and said, look at your phone.

She picked up her phone and saw the WeChat message I sent her. There were three big characters in the text: "I don't know." Isn't it great? Do you want to become a disciple?

There are many such games on the Internet, you can find them on Baidu, which can liven up the atmosphere of your date with girls.

I said: To be honest with you, in addition to fortune telling, I can also read palms.

She said: It’s true or false.

I said: If you don’t believe me, let me see.

Actually, palm reading is my usual excuse to hold a girl’s hand, but this time it was not for that. I held her hand in my hand, and the old god said: "Girl, you are missing something in your life." Me."

She laughed, withdrew her hand, and said arrogantly that I was a liar!

At this point, the atmosphere between us has been completely opened up. There is no need to waste time here. I proposed to watch a movie together, and she said it was no problem.

Me: I feel like you are a prostitute tonight.

Her: Prostitute?

Me: I was prostituted.

Her: Pfft.

Me: Boss, remember to give me a five-star review.

A role play successfully lifted the veil of ambiguity between us. I stared at her and easily noticed the panic in her eyes. She said, what are you looking at?

I fixed the back of her head with my right hand and kissed her gently.

After a slight resistance, everything turned into confusion and infatuation...

Ten

That day, we confirmed our relationship, but we still went back to our respective homes. , the reason is simple, she thinks this is a bit fast.

I saw her again in the evening a few days later. Ambiguity enveloped us. After all, the only thing between us was sex.

Me: You are beautiful again.

Her: That’s right, it’s fake or not.

Me: Monks don’t lie.

Her: Oh, a monk is still asking me out.

Me: Aren’t I fascinated by you? I don’t care about the rules and regulations.

Her: Oh, come here (signaling for a kiss).

Me: Female donor, please respect yourself.

Needless to say, there was a fistful of punches and laughter.

That night, we had sex. In fact, every woman is emotional and wants the process, while men are rational and wants the result.

This is just like getting married. What men care about is a legally binding marriage certificate, while what women long for is a ceremonial wedding.

Therefore, only by giving women the process first can men get the results they want.

Even if this process is just an hour at the bar, at least it doesn't look like we are trading.

Eleven

Some people say that this era is too unromantic, and everyone pays attention to fast love.

Affectionate people are treated as lickers, but thin lovers always win.

After all, who is willing to spend time with a dull person at a passionate age?

Therefore, when some people see scumbag men and scumbag women and find that they are cruel, unlucky, and heartless to others, they fantasize that if they conquer him/her, they have tamed their fate. As long as they get the other person The unique tenderness brings about the long-lost love.

So, just like the question on Zhihu: Why don’t boys chase girls now?

Because every boy has accumulated too many disappointments.

In this way, under the fermentation of disappointment, an era of fast love began.

I don’t need to know your preferences, let alone your personality. I just take a look at the photo, listen to a voice, and say good night or two, and I like it.

A hasty beginning must lead to a hasty end.

No one has enough time to contact and understand a person, and no one has enough patience to wait and stay with a person, because whenever you treat others with sincerity, that person will always Tell you in a hundred ways: How stupid you are!

So for a long time, I would rather live a scumbag life than spend all night sleeping, tossing and turning, and being a miserable lover.

After all, liking someone doesn't mean anything. People will change, just like if you like pineapples today, you may like something else tomorrow.

There is no big deal. Pineapple is right, and so are you. What is wrong is only those who are self-righteous and unswerving.

Everything is just a misty love, how can there be so many lifetimes.

There is a lot of helplessness in this society, and the world is full of impermanence and unpredictability. Many people make promises and say they will always be by your side to protect you, but when dreams come true, how many vows of eternal love are still there in time? It's shattered in front of you.

How much love seems beautiful, but in fact it has already rotted away inadvertently.

Me and her are the same.

I think I loved her, at least at that time, but as I said, my love for her was desperate, but it was not about growing old hand in hand.

Twelve

Dependent origination and destruction are inevitable.

We were together, but in just one month, we parted ways. Don’t ask about the ending of the story, just ask about “love”. Some people will scold me and think that I am just a scumbag who plays for fun.

In fact, in my eyes, "playing tricks" is not a derogatory term. It can represent freedom and uninhibitedness, or it can also symbolize sentimentality or even numbness.

It is nothing more than how the people in the game see it.

For me, I feel like a backpacker who is traveling abroad. When I see a mountain, I can’t wait to know what is behind it.

But when you go to the back of the mountain, you will always find nothing special.

Looking back, you may feel that this side is better.

But no matter what, I will still choose to go all the way west. Just like how much time has passed, I will always think of the first words she said to me:

"Then Not necessarily, you have to give it a try.”

Picking up a conversation is a very important method of collecting resources of the opposite sex, and it is a required course for many brothers when they are growing up in love.

Recently, I have always received a lot of questions from brothers, that is, it is difficult for everyone to find an effective way to start a conversation with a girl after chatting and closing the number. Many times, after a few simple chats, An embarrassing ending.