The so-called emotional intelligence refers to the ability of individuals to monitor their own or others' emotions and emotions, and to identify and use this information to guide their own thoughts and behaviors. If IQ is greatly influenced by genetic factors, the genetic components of EQ will be much less. In other words, EQ is mainly cultivated. Learning to be a teacher is a good example. Teachers should first pay attention to the improvement of their psychological quality, strengthen their self-cultivation, cultivate good psychological quality such as optimism, self-confidence, enterprising and tolerance, and provide students with learning examples. How to cultivate students' EQ in life management? Generally speaking, we can start from the following aspects: first, correctly identify our emotions. Emotion is a physical state related to the changes of various parts of the body, and it is an obvious and subtle behavior. It happens in a specific situation, and emotion, as a basic psychological process, has a very important influence on people's life and work. Appropriate emotional experience is one of the means of communication between people and the environment. The identification, adjustment and control of self-emotion can help people better adapt to the requirements of the environment, which is beneficial to physical and mental health. As a subjective experience and personality trait, emotion will directly affect people's activity direction, behavior choice and personality formation, and have an important impact on individual survival and life. In the management of daily life, whether in the dormitory or in the canteen, students should be encouraged to express their emotions correctly, consciously guide them to feel, and get used to expressing their emotional experiences in language, writing and other ways. Second, effectively alleviate their negative emotions. The relief of negative emotions is not simple control, but focuses on self-education, self-guidance, self-evaluation and self-adjustment. (a) to provide opportunities and ways to vent bad emotions. Our school is a full-time boarding school, and the living environment is more relaxed than the teaching area. In such a good atmosphere, children's emotions are easy to show. As a life teacher, we should pay more attention to the changes of children's expressions and mentality, create a variety of situations, and provide students with opportunities to vent their bad emotions. Such as: ten minutes of happiness every day, conversation space, floor psychological mailbox, etc. Encourage students to release their dissatisfaction and pain in time. The natural release and expression of emotions can give students room to realize their self-worth, thus playing a positive educational role to some extent. (2) Self-regulation of emotions. Because people's emotions are adaptive functions evolved from races, they are often the most active in the response to environmental events and play an important role in controlling and influencing people's activities. Therefore, it is very important to be good at adjusting emotions and maintaining a good and positive emotional state. The main applicable methods to help students adjust their emotions in the living environment are: 1, and they are good at releasing tension and depression with pleasure. Feng Te's three-dimensional theory of emotions holds that emotions can be measured in three dimensions: pleasure-unpleasantness, excitement-calmness and tension-relaxation. Each specific emotion is in a different position between the poles of these three dimensions. Happiness belongs to the relaxation section in the dimension of emotional tension. When people are overly nervous in their study and life, happiness can play an important role in regulating tension and make people relax in tension. Happiness makes people feel close to the outside world, and it is easier to accept and get close to the outside world, which is conducive to people's activities and the formation of harmonious interpersonal relationships. For example, ten minutes of happiness every day, weekly joke forum and dormitory culture construction (posting pictures, pictures and famous sayings in the dormitory, etc. ) can give people different psychological feelings and help students overcome emotional depression such as nervousness, anxiety, paranoia and depression. 2. Correct self-awareness and self-regulation. Everyone is an independent individual, and the level of achievement and ability should not be excessively compared. People should correctly recognize, understand and face their own qualities and talents, standardize themselves on this basis, put forward the most appropriate goals and requirements for themselves, and make people form self-confidence in self-satisfaction, so as to avoid emotional distress and abnormal emotions caused by inner conflicts and failed pursuit of goals. For example, it is necessary to help children who are anxious about exams and lack self-confidence to set practical goals. 3. Use rational emotional therapy to channel bad emotions. People often think that the cause of good mood and bad mood is an event itself, which is a wrong view. It is not the event itself that produces all kinds of emotions. It lies in people's views on events. Judging from the objects we manage, most of them are only children with superior family conditions, so many children have a strong sense of self-centeredness, and they can't control their emotions as long as they are slightly unhappy. Therefore, we should consciously conduct psychological counseling on a regular basis. Such as: group counseling in dormitory or class, anger management training, jealousy management training, rational emotion regulation and so on. We can also use forms to ask students to write down recent events that made them angry, sad, nervous, depressed or inferior. Here are the table styles: events, thoughts, emotions, behaviors. Example: My classmates called me by my nickname, and I felt disrespected, angry and ignored my classmates. ① ② Guide students to think: Do these events bother me? How about analyzing your emotions and trying to change your mind? (Teach students how to refute their irrational ideas actively and forcefully) Repeatedly emphasize: Change your own ideas, and happiness will naturally come, helping students to establish reasonable new beliefs and trigger appropriate emotions. Third, encourage self-improvement with a good mood. From the perspective of self-motivation, students' emotional cultivation focuses on guiding students to look at the world around them with tolerance, acceptance, joy and positive attitude. Middle school students are in an important period of growth and development, and their self-awareness and self-esteem are particularly strong in the transition period. If students' behaviors are not recognized and accepted by their parents, teachers and classmates, and their self-esteem is satisfied, they will often attract people's attention in an abnormal or even abnormal way. Especially those girls who have no opinions and care too much about the impression they leave on others need new self-affirmation. They will consciously regard their original shortcomings as advantages. Students with similar psychological state always feel that they are losers, or that they don't have good personal qualities and can't do valuable behaviors. For such students, teachers must exchange psychological positions, communicate at multiple levels and through multiple channels, replace critical behaviors with expected behaviors, adopt positive incentives and establish a sense of honor, arrange steering wheels and wheels for their transformation, and convey positive and trusting messages to them. On the premise of not denying one's own subject, internalize one's excellent qualities, guide oneself to learn to know oneself correctly, respect oneself, motivate oneself, make progress every day, be the best oneself, and look at the world around with a positive and healthy attitude. Fourth, cultivate a sense of cooperation and improve the ability to get along with others. The most important thing for people to adapt to the objective environment is to adapt to interpersonal relationships. Professor Ding Zan, a famous psychologist in China, pointed out: "The most important adaptation to people's psychology is the adaptation to interpersonal relationships, so people's psychological diseases are mainly caused by interpersonal imbalance." The practice of life management for several years shows that psychological problems caused by the imbalance of interpersonal relationships are common among students. According to the particularity of life management and based on dormitory culture, carrying out various forms of theme activities will help students improve their ability to get along with others. For example, design a psychological drama with students' frequent conflicts as the content, let students play roles and let them observe their emotions from the perspective of others. Life skills competition, civilized dormitory evaluation and self-reflection for five minutes every day are all good methods. He who tied the bell must untie the bell. Students' Emotional adjustment, in the final analysis, requires students to improve themselves. "It is better to teach people to fish than to teach people to fish." Therefore, we must teach students how to cultivate their emotional intelligence in their study and life, so that they can learn to study and live in a stable emotional state. Life teachers are also the undertakers and implementers of school education and management. Facing the reform and development of education, it is very important to educate students on mental health and cultivate their EQ. Only by insisting on student-oriented, facing the whole people, treating students differently and caring about their growth can we improve their psychological quality as a whole.