The primary school student’s composition made me laugh out loud with its fantastic ideas

Fish

? I saw a fish on the roadside today. Should I pick it up or not?

I picked it up and saw that it was still a live fish. It would be delicious if fried at home. I thought about it again. Fish also needs oil, a kitchen, and a wife to cook it. Wife There must be a mother and multiple mothers-in-law!

If I want to marry her girl, I must meet certain conditions, such as a house, a car, and money... I suddenly realized that I threw the fish away. Now that housing prices have dropped so much, it must have been thrown away by developers. Oh my god, I was almost fooled!

In addition, there are also some compositions that make people laugh:

The funniest composition? My family composition for sixth grade?

My family has mom, dad and me, and every day In the morning the three of us parted ways, going our separate ways, and in the evening we returned to the same place.

My father is an architect, gesticulating on the construction site every day; my mother is a salesperson, and she is at the counter every day; I am a student, and I am stunned in the classroom every day.

The three members of our family have the same chemistry, and the family is harmonious. But when my grades were not good, my father would also fight with my roommates and beat me so mercilessly that I fell to the ground; my mother stood by and watched, never doing anything courageous, and sometimes even helping others to do evil.

Every time I get the test scores, women’s singles with a score below 80, men’s singles with a score below 70, and mixed doubles with a score below 60.

This is my home: a vibrant home!

The funniest composition for sixth grade? 600 words

I was born in a very poor family. I remember that when I was a child, my father’s life was very boring and he could only count money all day long. Mom, too, spends all day scanning money.

My family lives in the mountains. Every time I have to go shopping, it is quite troublesome. It takes 5 hours to drive a Porsche and 4 hours to drive a Mercedes-Benz. Although there is a helicopter at home, it is difficult to find it there. The parking space is quite inconvenient; I occasionally go shopping, but my parents are afraid that I will be kidnapped, so they have more than 20 bodyguards to protect me. Everyone is scared to run away when they see me, so I have been ostracized since I was a child. . . . . . Because our home is in the mountains, it is very cold every winter. My father also said that it is troublesome to go shopping, so there is no heater in winter. . . No quilt. . I can only spend money to stay warm with my parents every day. . . And when I go to bed, I can only sleep with money as my cover (I definitely think pounds are warmer).

I remember when I was a child, one time, because the room was too big, I peed my pants before I could run out of the room in a hurry. Therefore, my father put a little sheep motorcycle in my room so that I could Within 10 minutes, I rushed out of the 1,000-square-foot room, walked through the 5-kilometer corridor, and reached the 800-square-foot toilet (I often get lost in the corridor); my father also asked people to build 20 additional 600-square-foot rooms with small toilets of 250 square meters inside. room, and said: If you wet yourself in the future, just change the room. If the room is not enough or too small, tell dad, and dad will ask people to build more rooms. Our life is very hard, you have to be patient!! Now that I think about it, my dad is such a kind person!!

I still remember one time when my home was attacked by a thief because he used explosives to blow up my dad’s safe, causing the gold coins inside to keep rolling out. As a result, the thief was crushed to death. . . . . . . I feel so sorry for that thief. . . . . It hurts to be crushed to death by gold coins!! He was not as lucky as the previous thief who was suffocated by banknotes. My mother often told me that life in our family was very difficult and she wanted me to learn to endure hardship. So I developed a spirit of hard work since I was a child. My future ambition is to find 200 money-eating monsters so that I can take care of the family. Eat all the money and avenge those poor thieves!!

2013 Beijing High School Entrance Examination Zero Score Funny Essay Essay Zero Score High School Entrance Examination Essay? 1100 words

As a science student, I saw When I asked this question, I was immediately petrified.

I really want to slap someone! I really want to slap the proposition teacher - my physics teacher on behalf of me. Let a bird fly over the Pacific Ocean with a branch in its mouth - what kind of extreme IQ can weave such a story? I don't know how powerful and magical the teacher's bird is. A normal person's thinking makes me have to doubt something. I don’t care with you how a bird holding a branch in its mouth flirts with its companions; I don’t care with you how a bird that can’t swim steps on a branch to catch fish; I don’t care with you how the waves of the Pacific Ocean Will it knock over branches? I only ask you one question:

Do you know how big a branch is for a bird to float on the water?

As thick as wire? As thick as chopsticks ?

Looking for a proposition teacher, please allow me to teach you a formula about buoyancy. If you want a piece of wood to be able to carry a bird, then you need to meet the following conditions (out of concern for you Out of respect for IQ, I don’t use various letters):

The buoyancy generated by the wood - the gravity of the wood itself + the gravity of the bird

In order to allow the wood to play its maximum role, we assume The wood happened to be trampled completely below the surface of the water.

Then we can draw the following conclusion:

The density of water × the volume of wood × acceleration due to gravity - the density of wood × the volume of wood × acceleration due to gravity + the weight of the bird × acceleration due to gravity

Combining similar terms and simplifying them, we get:

Volume of wood × (density of water - density of wood - weight of bird

The density of water is about 1000 kg/cubic meter , and the density of wood is between 400-750 kg/cubic meter, we just assumed that this bird was very smart and found a lighter one, and the density of wood was calculated as 500 kg/cubic meter.

It can be concluded:

The weight of the bird/the volume of the wood - 500 kg/cubic meter

Simply speaking, this is the conclusion:

If the bird is 1 kilogram, then, the volume of wood - 1/500 cubic meter - 0.002 cubic meters - 2 cubic decimeters

What is the concept of 2 cubic decimeters? - Our common bricks are about two cubic meters Chunk!!!

What is the concept of a bird in one kilogram? Let’s put it this way, an ordinary hen usually weighs three or four kilograms, and one kilogram is a small chick.

< p>Can a bird the size of a chicken carry two blocks of wood the size of bricks or a stick as thick as an arm? Even if it can, the resistance of the wind to the blocks will cause the bird to fly to the Atlantic Ocean , not the Pacific.

The proposition teacher may say that his bird is big, and the bird is heavy! Then it may not be a wooden stick with a thick arm, but a pillar. .

In short, science tells me that no matter what kind of bird it is, it will not choose to fly to the Pacific Ocean with branches in its mouth. If it must do this, it will definitely be a stupid bird that drowns in the Pacific Ocean to feed the fish. Stupid bird. Only a stupid bird would believe the silly bird's truth based on this silly bird's story.

2013 Beijing College Entrance Examination Funny Composition Composition. 2000 words.

2013 Beijing College Entrance Examination Essay Topics

Read the dialogue below and write as required.

Scientist: If Edison came to live in the 21st century for a week, what would be the most novel thing for him? What could it be?

Literaturer: I wonder if the mobile phone will make him feel incredible.

Scientist: I agree. It is simply a symbol of the information age. It can be called a handheld computer, and its rich functions will definitely make this great inventor feel novel.

Literature writer: The widespread use of mobile phones has profoundly affected people's communication methods, thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Conceptual awareness, perhaps this is unexpected by Edison.

What thoughts and imaginations do scientists and writers have about mobile phones? Please choose your own angle, your own title, and your own style (poetry). Except), write an article of no less than 800 words

2013 Beijing College Entrance Examination Essay

Edison met with China Mobile Internet bosses to discuss the future development of mobile phones

Today, the National Convention Center is decorated with lights and colorful lights, and the stars are shining. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb and a good friend of the Chinese people, cordially received the Chinese mobile Internet giants here and delivered an important speech titled "Jobs is my reincarnation."

In his speech, Edison revealed for the first time that Jobs was his reincarnation. He said that compared to his more than 2,000 inventions, although Lao Qiao has not invented many, the iPhone is of extraordinary significance. He also revealed that Jobs' inspiration for using a touch screen instead of a keyboard to make a mobile phone came from using tungsten lamps instead of gas lamps.

Edison pointed out far-sightedly that there are significant opportunities for mobile phone innovation in the Chinese market. For example, based on the emotion monitoring function of LBS, small traders can use it to judge the temperament of urban management personnel and stay away from harm.

Edison also mentioned with great interest the mobile version of Cheetah Browser, which has become very popular in China recently. He said that watching movies on mobile phones is a necessity, and otakus can watch it while hiding under the covers, freeing up one hand. He recalled that the electric light was invented so that nerds could see their goddesses clearly.

During the interactive session, China Mobile Internet giants stepped forward to chat and ask questions.

Ma Huateng asked: How will WeChat innovate next? Edison answered: 1% talent + 99% diligence...

Ding Lei asked: How can pigs grow fast? Edison answered: 1 % talent + 99% diligence...

Jack Ma asked: How will you spend your retirement? Edison answered: 1% talent + 99% diligence...

A reporter asked: Did you know that a celebrity in China is also more famous than Edison? His Chinese name is Edison Chen, and he is the celebrity in the pornographic photo scandal. The reporter was dragged out before he could finish his questions.

But Edison still answered this question. Edison said humorously: I have heard of him, but he does not seem to be in the mobile phone industry, but in the camera industry. Edison's words amused all the participants present.

After the meeting, Edison came to the door of a middle school and held up a sign that read "Principal, please ask me to book a room, leave the child alone" to promote his latest invention: a mobile phone to prevent sexual assault. This move attracted the attention of the aunt in the neighborhood committee. Just when the aunt was about to take Edison to the police station, Edison and his entourage showed their American nationality and let him go.

When Edison encountered a mobile phone flasher

Wedge

Today is the first day of the college entrance examination. As a struggling student in the imperial capital, I feel a sense of liberation. This year is known as the most stringent college entrance examination in history. Not only are mobile phones not allowed, but also bra underwires are not allowed. I ran into the examination room naked and felt inexplicably happy when I saw the question about mobile phones.

On the one hand, students are not allowed to use mobile phones, and on the other hand, there are essay questions related to mobile phones. I bought a mobile phone last year

Well, in order to express my respect for the college entrance examination marking teachers , I started writing essays.

Edison said: Smartphones = 99% applications + 1% hardware

The teacher said, start with key questions. (I set the grading teacher to know what the app is, which is something like WeChat for hooking up.) As mentioned in the last book, Edison invented the mobile phone 100 years ago. After so many years of development, Edison wanted to know what the mobile phone has become. What has become.

When I was very pretentious, I took out the iPhone that cost me a kidney and handed it to Edison. Edison's handsome face was slightly stunned: "Why did you give me a glass plate? You are so young." I was speechless for a while, then stretched out my hand and made a gorgeous stroke on the "glass plate". Edison played with it for a while and took a few selfies. It felt pretty good. Then he asked me, "Where is the power cord of this thing? Is it DC?" As a good young man of the new era, I introduced Steve Jobs to him with deep contempt.

The next day, I heard that Edison sold his kidney and bought an iPhone 5. At that barbecue stall, Edison said his classic saying: "Smartphone = 99% applications + 1% hardware." After that, he showed me the photo of the girl he had made an appointment with on WeChat and said that he had made an appointment to eat crayfish tonight.

Edison and Android

iphone 5 takes up 7 words, and galaxy note 2 takes up 13 words including spaces. In order to make up the 800 words, I decided to introduce it to Edison next. galaxy note 2, when I took out the note 2, which was bigger than my face, Edison was obviously shocked. He quickly took it with both hands, found WeChat, opened WeChat and looked through the girl's photos. "Sure enough, it's much clearer, tsk tsk~~." Edison said with saliva.

In order to save Edison from being caught up in a WeChat hookup, I decided to discuss some technical techniques with him, oh no, knowledge.

The three major hobbies of Android users are, of course, flashing and flashing their phones. I first tried to cover it up for Edison by manually flashing the machine, and I saw contempt in Edison's pretended envy. But when he tried it out on his own, he finally admitted the awesomeness of me, a senior high school student from China. The more shocking thing is of course to come. In Edison's thirsty eyes, I opened the URL of the flash assistant: , and then put the ROM flash package I downloaded from the official website of ROM Home and started flashing. In fact, it is also possible to download the flash package directly from the flash assistant. Downloading from the ROM Home official website is just to show off.

The gorgeous flashing process began. After a high-end and elegant one-click flashing process, we changed to a new interface. Edison was stunned for a long time and uttered one sentence: "What's the difference between this and an iPhone?" I was stunned and speechless.

Edison’s final destination

As a character who came from time-to-time, Comrade Edison did not hesitate to rely on him. In line with the principle of not causing trouble to the government, he helped people flash their phones through the use of flash assistants. At the entrance of Xizhuan Hutong in Beijing, there is a stall selling machine brushes passed down from generation to generation. However, I heard recently that it was stepped on by a temporary urban management worker weighing 200 pounds, and he is still in the hospital.

Funny zero-point essay writing in first grade? 50 words

Today the language teacher assigned Xiaoyang a homework assignment: Diqiu writes an essay about loving learning. The word count should be no less than 100. Xiaoyang wrote like this:

The weather is so nice today. When I got home from school, I started to practice writing: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12...(omitted here) N numbers) 99 100

Funny composition clips for primary school students: Interesting stories about my classmates’ composition writing? 500 words

1. The content of "My Classmate" is probably: Once I was sick, he gave me tutoring regardless of rain or shine. It was pouring rain and thundering that day. I thought he would not come, but he came despite the rain... He died of a high fever the next day. I will always miss this good friend. ?2． There was a classmate who always used to start his compositions with onomatopoeia, such as "Dongdongdong, a burst of drum sound came", "La la la, a burst of singing came", etc. It was really hard to hear his voice before I saw him. ! ! ! ? 3. I went out riding a bicycle with my classmate XX, and his valve core was broken, so I pulled out mine and installed it for him, and we rode home happily together. 4. The 100 meters of the sports meeting finally started, and the students ran out like stray dogs. 5. The PLA uncles crawled forward one by one, like green caterpillars crawling on the ground. 6. "I died in the classroom due to illness..." "My brother has a newly shaved head, like a little bald donkey in Shaolin Temple..." 7. The Great Wall is so long, so fucking long. 8. Colorful flags are flying on the sports field. Young and old men throw darts.

You dart, I dart. My intestines and stomach are all over the place! 9. When I was in elementary school, I was very used to writing about good people and good deeds in my compositions. So people always write about picking up money. So, in order to exaggerate his achievements, someone wrote that he picked up 100 million yuan in the park. They were all 10 yuan, and they were as thick as a Chinese language document (for fourth grade students). The teacher read it out on the spot, and the classmate was probably extremely cold. 10. The old lady took out four 500 yuan bills.