This chat mode will obviously make the other party unhappy. Why do boys always like to chat through questions and answers when chasing girls?
Because we want to establish contact with this girl and enhance our feelings, but we don't know what topic to start with, so we can only establish contact by asking questions.
But there is something like "?" Something? ""why? "What's your major?" Is not an effective way of communication.
Therefore, when chatting with the opposite sex, we should pay attention to methods and strategies. Let me introduce how to find a good topic when communicating with girls, so that communication can get twice the result with half the effort.
Strategy 1: The correlation is high.
Really effective communication means that your topic can arouse the other person's interest enough and give good response and feedback.
How to trigger good feedback needs to introduce a concept first.
Hippocampal process-the information filter of the brain, like a private secretary, determines what information should be submitted to the brain for processing.
In other words, in order to achieve "effective communication" with the girl you like, you must first filter through the hippocampus.
What kind of information can interest girls?
1. Highly correlated
2. High contrast value
The higher the correlation and contrast values, the more interesting and the less interesting.
So we try to choose topics that are highly relevant to girls, which are summarized as follows.
1. Hobbies (private)
This kind of information can be learned from a girl's circle of friends or blog, such as her favorite band, her favorite writer, and her other hobbies such as playing the piano, drawing, riding horses and so on.
2. Hobbies (general)
Choosing a common topic for girls to talk about will basically not get negative feedback. Common topics are: food (delicious), travel (fun), constellations (gossip attribute), pets (love show), popular movies and TV series (the entertainment mode of most girls).
Step 3 meet emotional needs
The emotional experience of yourself or friends around you is similar to that of an ex-girlfriend cheating and a good friend coming out. Girls always pay great attention to emotional topics and express their desires.
Taboo: Don't talk about topics that you care about but girls don't understand.
Boys often like to highlight their "knowledge" by talking about topics they are good at, such as their work (which industry giants they cooperate with), military (the advantages and disadvantages of American F-series fighters and our J-16 fighters), politics (bilateral relations between China and the United States), economy (future trend of housing market), games (how LOL kings win the championship) and so on.
Of course, on a case-by-case basis, if the girl you like especially likes to study military topics, then you can talk freely as a highly relevant topic.
Strategy 2: Topic extension
Many boys have this experience: the chosen topic is correct, and girls are willing to chat, but they always die after a few words. What happened?
This situation is mostly because boys naturally like to "push the topic", while girls prefer to "cut the topic".
What is "push-ups"? Generally, it refers to summarizing the topic, drawing a conclusion or giving a solution.
What is "cutting"? It generally refers to extending the topic, refining the topic or giving a perceptual voice.
Give a simple example:
A girl shared her experience yesterday with her best friend. "I went shopping in Xidan yesterday and saw a beautiful skirt in XX style."
The reaction of girlfriends is generally
Emotion * * * Ming: "Yes, I also think XX skirt suits you very well, especially with your current hairstyle, which is very temperament."
Last week, I also went shopping, went to Dongdan and watched a movie with my boyfriend. It was awesome.
But what do you think will happen if this girl says the same thing as her boyfriend?
Girl: "I went shopping in Xidan yesterday and saw a beautiful skirt in XX style."
Boyfriend: "Do you like it? Buy it in buy buy! "
Topic, chess piece
So have you found that girls and girlfriends will last for a long time, because girlfriends regard girls' words as emotional sharing, and look for keywords in sentences to delete them.
"Yes, I also think that the XX skirt suits you very well, especially with your current hairstyle, which is very temperament." Cut to the chase according to "nice skirt"
"I went shopping in Xidan yesterday and saw a beautiful skirt in XX style." According to Xidan Shopping, we cut into the topic.
Boyfriend regards the girl's sentence as a problem that needs to be solved, so in his mind, he only needs to give a solution. The solution of this sentence is "buy buy buys!"
(Of course, the girl mentioned that this dress looks good, and it must be extra points to buy it for her secretly. )
Give another simple example.
The girl said, "I will go to Shanghai with Xiaohong tomorrow."
The method of reduction is
Keyword "Xiaohong", "Ha, you have a good relationship with Xiaohong. Did you take the last group of girlfriends together? "
Keywords "Shanghai", "I heard that Shanghai's steamed buns are particularly delicious. Where are you going to play? "
The way to end the topic is to push the chat.
"Be safe and have fun."
Therefore, straight men, what you usually feel good about yourself is a classic template to push the topic to the end.
Such as "good night and sweet dreams", "go home early", "pay attention to rest" and "drink more hot water"
Strategy 3: False statement, fictitious statement
Sometimes, you really want to know some information about a girl, such as where she is from and what she does. If you can't ask questions, how do you know?
The answer is: virtual statement The so-called virtual statement is to give a hypothetical premise and reserve space for the other party to express.
For example, if you want to know what a girl does, don't just ask "which company do you work for".
You can say, "Look at the photos of your circle of friends. Do you work in fashion? I heard that this industry is under great pressure. "
If you guess right, it just gives the other party room to express next. "Yes, you are right. My leader is simply a devil wears Prada. "
If you guess wrong, it doesn't matter. "Haha, no, I just like to play photography."
Then we can discuss the topic of photography. After all, you praised the girl in this process, and she will be in a better mood when she communicates with you.