George Eastman once built an Eastman School of Music in Manchester. It was also built in memory of his mother and overshadowed a famous theater. At the time, Adamson, president of the New York Advanced Seating Company, wanted to secure large orders for seats in the two buildings. So he called the architect responsible for the building project and agreed to meet with Mr. Eastman. To make the conversation more effective. Before meeting Eastman, the well-meaning architect gave Adamson advice: "I know you want to get this business. But I might as well tell you first that if you take more than five minutes, you There is no hope at all. He means what he says, and he is very busy, so you have to hurry up and finish talking." Adamson was led into Eastman's office. Sen said sincerely: "Mr. Eastman, while I am waiting for you, I have always envied your office. If I could have such an office, I wouldn't care even if the work is a little harder. You You know, my business is interior carpentry work, and I have never seen a more beautiful office than yours in my life. "Your reminder reminded me of something I had almost forgotten," Eastman replied. This office is beautiful, isn't it? I admired it very much when it was first built, but now, I always think about many other things when I come here, sometimes for weeks at a time. Why don't you take a good look at this room?"
Adamson walked over and stroked a panel back and forth as if he were stroking a beloved object. "This is made of English oak. Made, right? The structure of British oak is a little different from that of Italian oak." Is said, "Yes, this is oak imported from the UK. It is a friend who specializes in joinery. Picked for me." Next, Eastman showed Adamson every corner of the house, pointing out the parts he participated in the design and construction of. He also opened a locked box, pulled out his first roll of film, and told Adamson about his early struggles in entrepreneurship. Eastman spoke sincerely about the misery of poverty at home when he was a child, about his mother's hard work, his desire to make a lot of money at that time, how he spent day and night doing experiments in the office, and so on. Eastman and Adamson talked for more than two hours and ended up having lunch together. In the end, Adamson easily won the seating business in those two buildings.
Anyone’s request will change with just a tap of the magic wand of praise. Because praise is understanding and affirmation of others, everyone hopes to be recognized by others. As the saying goes: "A kind word warms three winters." Once people are recognized of their value, they will always be overjoyed. On this basis, they will naturally talk happily. Psychologists have confirmed that psychological affinity is the beginning of others accepting each other's opinions and the beginning of changing attitudes. It can be seen from this that if you want to gain the understanding and recognition of others, and if you want to succeed in interpersonal communication, you must start with your understanding and affirmation of others.
Understanding and affirmation are different from praise. Praise is a form of understanding. Maybe your praise is false, so the result may not be fruitful. But the understanding and affirmation are sincere and will definitely impress the other party. For example, if you say to a plain-looking girl, "You are so beautiful." Maybe the other person will be happy because of your vanity, but they are also very likely to think that what you said is extremely hypocritical; But if you focus on her clothes, conversation, and behavior, find out what makes her stand out, and praise her, she will definitely be happy.
People will encounter many ups and downs and injustices in their lives. What they need most at this time is the understanding and care of others, and they need to gain self-identity from others. However, we always blame others for not understanding us, but how can we understand others? Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company of the United States, famously said: "If there is a secret to success, it is the ability to understand the situation of others, the ability to see things from one's own perspective and that of others at the same time." Katatata, a famous Japanese management expert Shan said: "Only by looking at things from others' perspective can we get the cooperation of others. Without cooperation, there will be no success."
The famous Peking Opera performing artist Mr. Mei Lanfang is respected by many people , and has the reputation of "white jade without flaws", that is because he is a reasonable and considerate person.
One day, a piece of news that "artist Mei Lanfang sells paintings" appeared in an advertisement in a Shanghai tabloid. Obviously, someone was pretending to be Mei Lanfang to make money. Mei Lanfang's friends were very angry at this bad behavior and were going to go to the tabloid to investigate and find the imposter and give him a severe lesson. Mei Lanfang dissuaded them, telling his friends that it was true that the imposter wanted to make money, but he must have some ability to make money by selling paintings. He is probably a scholar, but he has bad luck. Friends learned about the origin of the imposter from the side, and it was exactly what Mei Lanfang expected. Coincidentally, the famous Spanish painter Picasso also had such a broad mind.
Picasso didn't care about the fake paintings pretending to be his works, and never pursued them. At most, he only removed the forged signatures. Someone asked him puzzledly why he did this. Picasso said: "The people who make fake paintings are either poor painters or old friends. I am Spanish and cannot embarrass my old friends. Life is not easy for poor painter friends. Besides, those Professional teachers who authenticate authentic works also need to eat. Those fake paintings have made a living for many people, and I have not suffered any loss. Why should I pursue it? "Both Mei Lanfang and Picasso are great and smart. Their understanding has enabled many people to survive, and because of this, people respect them even more.
Understanding and affirming others is a kind of broad mind, which not only warms others, but also warms oneself. Understanding and affirmation make interpersonal relationships more harmonious, enable us to have more friends, gain more happiness, and make our lives happier.