In real life, there are always some people complaining about not being able to find a partner, especially girls. We understand single women, you may think that they are ignored, but in fact there is a long queue of people chasing her, but they are not satisfied with the pursuer.
Their requirements for choosing a partner have exceeded their own matching attributes. That is, you say you are ugly and you despise others for being ugly.
This phenomenon occurs between men and women. The main reason for this phenomenon is inferiority complex about appearance.
Inferiority is the source of inner sadness. Therefore, people who have low self-esteem about appearance often want to find a good-looking partner.
They transfer their yearning for beautiful faces to their objects through intimate relationships. This will satisfy your desire for a beautiful face. They need to get happiness from each other's beauty to fill their own inner sorrow caused by low self-esteem. This desire is very strong. So the uglier you are, the more you want to find beautiful ones.
And those who have always been beautiful, because they do not lack beauty, often pay less attention to the appearance of the other party when looking for a partner. Therefore, there is the famous saying: Good cabbage is eaten by pigs, and a flower is stuck in cow dung.
Another possibility is that these ugly people are idealists. Everyone has a love for beauty, and the idealistic pursuit of beautiful things never considers realistic factors. Therefore, many hypocritical people would rather be single as long as their partner is completely satisfied.
Being wise is the same as having a good look. It is understandable that everyone wants to find a partner with a good face.
However, everyone must work hard so that their strength can afford the demands they make.
If you have been going to and from get off work all day long, making little money and doing very hard work and are still tired, then you’d better give up your illusions as soon as possible and find someone who doesn’t dislike you. Thank God. A mountain wife and a childish child eat in their hometown, neither lovesickness nor money.
The same goes for those girls. You can’t become beautiful just by losing weight and putting on makeup. It’s called natural beauty. Appearances are all innate. Instead of buying cosmetics, it is better to find ways to become gentle, virtuous, and easy-going. When you act infatuatedly, everyone loves you, but when you look at it coldly, everyone dislikes you.
1. Simple love of beauty
Everyone has the love of beauty, and these people show it more thoroughly. Platinum-level members of the Appearance Association devote their lives to the pursuit of beauty.
In this regard, despising the ugliness of others and pursuing beauty (male) has nothing to do with whether you are ugly yourself. They have always yearned for beautiful faces and beautiful things.
To extend a bit: Are you aware of your “ugliness”? Some people don't think they are ugly, and even think they are more beautiful than Pan An. They remember their peak looks: the cuteness when they were born, the green faces when they were teenagers, and the frankness when they first entered college. The fat middle-aged man with a big belly thinks that he is just a handsome boy who has grown old.
2. Ugly people tend to cause mischief
Compared with ordinary people, ugly people receive less respect and love during their growth, and it is difficult to find reasonable channels for venting. Most of the psychological defense mechanisms are negative, and even the personality is distorted.
When faced with major life events like choosing a spouse, they often use unusual ways of speaking and doing things to gain attention and gain recognition. If the subject does not meet the (beautiful) expectations, a wave of operations in their mind begins to set in motion.
3. The victim transforms into a verbal attack by the perpetrator
Ugly people and those who dislike ugliness are not opposing groups, and both may transform. Ugly people may transfer the "ugly evaluation" they have suffered to others and become those who despise ugliness.
When they were growing up, they heard words such as "You are so ugly" many times, and were disliked by most people for a long time; the view that "ugly appearance should be disliked" Taking root in their hearts to speak, and gradually agreeing with this point of view,
As time goes by, they transform into the same group of people who laughed at them back then, and intensify their verbal harm to the ugly people they come into contact with.
4. For a better life for future generations
If the question is slightly modified, this psychological orientation will be more obvious. To put it simply, if you interact less with people of the same kind, your descendants will not have the same negative traits as me.
Why do some people who are short think others are not tall when looking for a partner? (A tall spouse can make up for one's own lack of height and ensure the quality of offspring.)
Why do some rural people think others are from rural areas when looking for a partner? (After marriage, you will be less affected by the negative effects of the rural environment (including but not limited to customs), and your descendants will also be less affected by this aspect)
Why do some poor people think that others are not in good financial condition when looking for a partner? (I don’t want to be poor, and I don’t want my future generations to be poor.)
If possible, they essentially hope that "I am not this kind of person". Even if they are not physically, they cannot be psychologically, and future generations must not be so. Therefore, at the operational level, such risks should be avoided to the greatest extent.
This phenomenon is actually normal, but if you are ugly, you really cannot ask your partner to be handsome.
If you are lucky enough to find a handsome partner, then you should be lucky. What your partner looks like is not your appearance, but some of your inner qualities.
There is another situation, that is, your academic qualifications are very high, or your income is very high. You can ask your partner to be handsome, or correspondingly, have a high degree of education.
Just as the saying goes, don’t do to others what you would have them do to you, so will the person who matches you. Let me take Jack Ma as an example. Jack Ma is not handsome, but he is very rich, so his wife is very beautiful. We all know this, she seems to be a school beauty.
My current task is to mainly improve my own strength. As long as you have the strength, you can ask your partner to also have the strength or be outstanding in appearance.
This is actually what we call "projection" in psychology. How we view others is actually projecting our inner self onto others. In particular, we will project our own "badness" to others, and psychology believes that there are two "badnesses" that our self dislikes the most, one is hatred in relationships, and the other is weakness in the self.
The logic of projection is very simple. It is easy for us to figure it out in our minds, but it is very difficult to actually experience it and live it out. But we need to know one thing: how we view others is actually a reflection of our inner self onto others. Especially when we project our own "badness" onto others. Once people understand this, they can transform their thoughts.
When we cannot face the raging hatred in our hearts, the hatred will gradually be transferred to others; but when we can face our own weakness, we will have more courage and strength to face it. complex real world.
Beauty or ugliness has nothing to do with intelligence. There are many cases of beautiful men and ugly women, ugly women and beautiful men getting married, but their families are happy. There is a saying that everyone has their own love for vegetables and carrots?
In response to this question: I think if you are a man, this can be said to be a genetic problem in the history of evolution. This psychology can increase the male's reproductive rate, thereby achieving the purpose of passing on the family line; if you are a woman, this It is a difficult (changing) question (state) in psychology.
This is because he himself does not think he is ugly. He is used to seeing his appearance and does not think he is ugly. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You want him to recognize you. Ugliness is also beautiful. If you don't recognize your beauty, you are also ugly. Because there is no clear line between ugliness and beauty.
In reality, we will find that many couples are complementary in personality, temperament or other aspects. It is a biological instinct to want to make up for your own shortcomings through the other half. For example, short girls like to find tall boyfriends, like the cutest height difference; short boys like tall girls.