How to describe the world you live in?

Overhead are staggered antennas, dividing the dark sky. Clouds float low in the narrow sky. Lead-gray broken clouds cast alternating light and shadow along the alley.

02

Blood cannot flow back to the heart.

The body floats in the air like lack of oxygen. Can't fall. Can't land, keep your feet on the ground. All joints are tied with silver silk thread, pulled like puppets, opened and closed like zombies, and walked forward in the street.

Tears kept coming out of my eyes, as if someone had pressed the switch and started to cry. I couldn't stop. Like all water in the body, it flows cleanly in the form of tears.

03

Some things between people are isolated, and it is easy to cut a deep gully between people. When it rains, it becomes a river, and there is no way to cross it.

If there is fog on the river again ...

Rivers like this.

Fourteen to seventeen years old stand in the middle of each other. 1,095 days. Like a river 1095 meters deep.

Qi Ming thought for countless times that perhaps, like many rivers, the riverbed will be filled with quicksand slowly, and then the riverbed will rise. After the occasional dry season, the flat land at the bottom of the river will be exposed, and the mother on the other side will slowly come to herself.

But the fact is, I don't know whether it is myself, my mother or a hand, digging rivers day after day, cleaning up quicksand and attracting more canal water. There is a moat-like existence that deepens day by day. Stepping on it can only be headless in an instant.

04

In the music playing, all people, with pale faces, are waiting for the distant spring in the paler and lonelier sky.

Those sad feelings hidden in the center of the earth, along the soles of the feet, seem to be connected to the circuit and flow into the limbs. Stretch and wave to the sharp sky. Those emotions, pulled up, piled up around the eyes and were about to flow out.

05

An abrupt piece of white in life. Take the missing two words as specific shapes.

It's like accidentally falling asleep in the cinema, waking up to find that the plot is missing, and people around you are watching it with relish, but they can't find it back. So I still pursue it vaguely, and slowly find that the missing part will hardly affect the future plot.

Or, like an equation that can't be solved on a test paper. A very real sense of emptiness. There is a place protruding from my heart that I can't erase.

and .. / with ..

There's more. There is more, more, more.

But none of this has anything to do with me.

Those long and dim times rolled back to the sea like waves, and finally revealed the beach of bones and remains.

06

Yi Yao stood there, his anger taking root at his feet. Those gentle fantasies accumulated in my heart about my father have been shattered into 110 thousand pieces of rags at the moment. Like a broken glass, all the fragments are stuck in the sewer and can't be sent away, together with a serious smell.

It stinks.

Rotten.

Those feelings inside.

Turned into hate. Turned into pain. Turned into a grievance. It becomes a dense and prickly vine, which pierces every cell of the heart like Cordyceps sinensis and devours the body.

07

I don't know where the bell came from. It is ringing back and forth.

However, it is not as long and sad as a poem. Only boring and boring, fixed back and forth. Impact the eardrum. Pass the dull pain to the scalp.

Open your eyes.

The light of white silk came in through the gap in the unstrained curtain. Everything around highlights the vague outline of white.

It looks like it's almost noon

Contrary to time, the gravity on the eyelids is like being pressed by a bed of cotton wool, which hurts when it is closed. The light sweeps back and forth on the eyes like a rough brush, and tears come out after blinking a few times.

08

A teenager wrapped in words such as gentleness, kindness, courtesy, excellent grades and sharp outline, whether standing in an empty stand in a daze, riding a bicycle with headphones step by step along the crowd through countless green lights, or wearing a white vest, ran across the playground runway painted with sadness by the sunset.

There will always be countless pairs of eyes around him that spread to him like a flood, attached to his white down jacket and reflected. Just like all kinds of FM radio waves, they yearn for the same wave rate as him and then spread into his heart.

And once he walks up to someone, these waves will instantly turn into toxic radiation and sweep away towards the person he is watching.

09

The wind blew white clouds and flew over the blue sky above them.

There are also huge and colorful flowers that bloom one after another when winter is about to pass and spring is coming. They can't wait for the arrival of spring and rush to open.

Sweet, greasy and fragrant all over the world. Sweep back and forth. Wrapped in every young and beautiful face.

10

Eyes in the dark. Shining. Like a lake full of water.

Standing in the lake in the distance.

Still flying farther and farther at night.

Finally disappeared into the darkness. Run away.

In the dark, my limbs seemed to be soaked in boiling bath water. Those emotions called sadness, like swarms of ants, come from distant places and slowly climb up their bodies.

Step by step towards the deepest beating heart.

Until the group that led the team climbed to the top of the heart, and then thrust the flag into the soft jumping place at the foot-

Ha, occupation.

1 1

The sunshine in winter, even at noon, doesn't fall vertically like the sunshine in summer, concentrating people's shadows into a dark black ink spot. At noon, the winter sunshine slanted in from the window, drawing a narrower rectangular bright spot on the canteen floor.

At noon in winter, it feels like dusk in summer, vague and sad.

12

If you look back on that day many years later. I'm sure I'll feel sad

The sunset in winter leaves the last ray of light in the evening, surrounded by gray dust.

Teenagers and girls, standing at the gray school gate in the twilight, the four of them, staggered with all kinds of eyes.

Sadness. Distressed. Kindness. Compassion. Appreciate

For example, dyes of various colors are poured into the air and stirred, and finally become dark and messy. In the nameless space, it is boiling and steaming with strong water vapor, and every window of youth is covered with a hazy sense of grinding sand.

But it was swallowed up by the heavy winter, or a certain mood in winter. Only black, or white, or all kinds of gray after black and white superposition, is printed on paper.

Just like a black-and-white photo in a photo frame, no matter how brilliant the person in the photo is, he will definitely see the feeling of sadness.

It's like being pressed by an invisible hand and clicking.

Many years later-

What floats heavily in the eye socket is an area in memory that can no longer be touched like a thunder ban.

12

People's physical feelings are always long after the arrival of spiritual feelings, and they will come late.

Such as the relationship between light and sound. I must have seen the sudden flash of light on the horizon early, and then I was silent for a few seconds before a loud thunder suddenly broke out in my ear hole.

In the same way, physical feelings will never come as quickly and violently as spiritual feelings.

It must have hurt my heart deeply, and then tears came out and choked my throat.

13

The horizon is covered with dark red clouds. The light of the sunset faded away.

Ten minutes ago, all kinds of emotions wandered and collided in the body, like a monster who was anxious because he couldn't find an exit. Every pore is sealed with scotch tape, and the whole body expands infinitely, almost exploding.

And all the emotions disappeared in an instant, leaving no trace.

And the next moment, it is the cold that has no strength to fight back.

Wet clothes are wrapped tightly around you like a layer of ice.

Dark clouds rolled and swallowed the last ray of sunshine.

Yi Yao breathed a sigh of relief, as if to take a bite of ice.

14

The seeds accidentally blown by the wind landed in the atrium.

Been sleeping. Go to sleep.

However, I will definitely wake up at the right moment. In less than one thousandth of a second, the shell was quickly exploded, a huge root system was planted, and then it was shaken again, and the dense branches and dense branches and leaves that covered the sun stood out after brushing the ground.

Then, in slow motion, a huge bloody disk was slowly opened.

Such seeds. Has been sleeping in everyone's heart.

Waiting for one day, something that can't be defined in words will break the spell of the seal.

15

I don't quite remember whether their dreams are colorless or silent.

If there is no color—

In my dream, I often see colored spherical symbols at the end of all TV programs in the middle of the night. In other words, I often dream that I watch TV alone until late at night, until I see that the whole world is asleep, and even the TV set is printed with such a symbol to tell you that I want to rest.

If there's no sound—

In my dream, I often hear the clatter of textbooks in the classroom when they are turned by countless hands. The cicada singing outside the window was broken by the fan overhead, and it hit my eyelids intermittently and endlessly. The air is filled with the heat that is constantly evaporating in summer. Bored people panic. In such humid and sultry weather, even the blackboard seems to have a layer of gray spots. Students on duty after class always complain. Then swing the eraser vigorously. That brush, brush, brush sound. And those cries of unknown origin. Sometimes I choke, sometimes I whimper. Sometimes I sob. Sometimes crying. Then, day by day, it slowly turned into crying.

Is that so?

Is that really the case?

Is there everything in the dream?

16

Qi Ming took back the homework approved by the teacher yesterday from the office, but it was blown to a higher sky without falling behind.

I don't know why they fly so high. No wings and no feathers. Because it's light? Because there is no weight?

So you can keep drifting in the wind like this?

17

There are countless tiny grass seeds wrapped in the spring breeze.

They are also like those light plastic bags, blown to countless ignorant areas by the wind.

Die in a cold city and thrive in a wet desert.

Then time and space are dyed into thousands of indistinguishable greens.

In my dream, I once had such a picture. I parted the lush and soft tall grass with my hand, and there was a dark body below.

18

The rare sunshine in winter shines into the high window, leaving a large spot on the ground.

In the dust floating air, it moves in slow motion into countless tiny galaxies.

Just like those miniature universes in the slides I saw in geography class.

19

A whole quiet corridor.

The sound disappeared. The temperature disappeared. Lost the light. Disappeared the faces and movements of those onlookers. Time has become a slowly flowing river here. A river so thick that it can hardly flow. There is also the smell of sulfur and steam in the river.

The corridor slowly turned into a huge tunnel-like cave.

I don't know what the connection is.

20

At some point, you will feel the sudden darkness.

Like instant blindness.

For example, suddenly turn off the lights in a bright room.

For example, at the beginning of a movie, the surrounding space suddenly becomes quiet.

For example, an express train suddenly entered a long tunnel.

Or, for example, one evening, the sky was full of gorgeous clouds. Those who suddenly jump into their darkness, like a pair of powerful hands, catch themselves and throw them into another world.

2 1

Thick clouds pressed the sky low. Move like wiping the roof of an alley. Sharp antennas and lightning rods on the roof cut through the dark clouds like that, making a crisp sound like tearing a black cloth.

There are some fuzzy light clusters moving in the dark clouds, and I don't know what they are. The faint light of red, yellow, green and purple lingers among the clouds.

22

Many times, I think Qi Ming is like a touch of sunset, warm and sad, slowly falling to the horizon, leaving his world bit by bit, wrapped in warm light and good times.

It is the warmth of sadness, and it is also the warmth of sadness.

23

Many years have passed like this.

Not a sound was left.

For example, somewhere in the unknown space of the universe, there is such a huge whirlpool, which sucks away all people's youth, young faces and complete years, is dragged to the invisible bottom, and is swallowed up by monsters living in it.

Yi Yao felt as if he were standing on the edge of such a whirlpool.

The question is whether to jump or not.

24

Sometimes you trust someone you don't know for no reason. You will tell him a lot of things, even things you haven't even told your best friend.

Sometimes you don't trust a person who gets along with you day and night for no reason. Although you share and guard countless secrets together, at that time, you look at his face and you don't believe him.

We live in such a complex world, being dragged blindly to the end of the world by things that will never repeat and have no such rules as pi.

I spent my life slowly.

In fact, many times, I don't even believe in myself.

25

Take all the seeds out of the soil in spring. In fact, there are many things that we haven't thought about.

They are out of our sight, but deeply rooted in the center of our world.

26

Sometimes I feel that all sounds are a very casual feeling.

Sometimes you can hear the light rain outside the window when you are asleep, and sometimes it just floats on the surface of the dream, but the thunder rolling by when the typhoon landed outside the window did not pull you out of your dream.

All sounds travel further through the media. Solid, liquid and gas transmit all kinds of chaotic sound waves all the time. Sighs, birdsongs, the ticking of sprinklers, the ringing of class, the sound of flowers falling, the sound of a tree crashing down, and the sound of waves hitting the ears.

Physics class once said that there is no air on the moon, so even sound can't spread. Whether it's kicking off a pebble or a meteorite hitting the surface of the moon and smashing a huge hole, flying sand and stones, everything is still a silent picture. Like a TV set turned off in the middle of the night, it looks dull but quiet.

If two people live on the moon, even if they face each other, they can't hear each other's voice. Is it futile to open your mouth, or have you been gesturing sadly with sign language?

Actually, I understand this feeling.

Because I used to yell at you very close.

Then you slowly left me in my shouts and walked forward.

It is also because there is no media.

Connect our media. A medium that can transmit my voice into your body.

27

Until now, Yi Yao felt that the so-called concentration had two meanings.

One is everyone's concern, and the so-called focus is the core place to achieve focus. Just like Gu Senxiang and Qi Ming who embraced in the dark that day, they were the focus of the crowd at the moment when the lights were on.

And one is the place that burns all the time and finally turns into coke, which is the so-called focus.

Just like I am now.

Covered by an indescribable bright spot, all kinds of light converge and shine on a marked place on the heart. Immobile light, like a long thin needle, is stuck somewhere.

28

A huge concave lens in the sky.

Sunlight is quickly concentrated and deformed into a conical funnel.

The circular spot shines on the calm lake. That place called the focus, slowly set off waves.

Finally, the boiling lake turned into white steam and disappeared into the hot air.

Accompanied by subtle media. Disappeared together.

The medium connecting you and me. The medium that once attracted you firmly to me.

Turned into a white steam.

29

It was dark all around.

Not a day goes by. There is no moon. There is no light. No lights. There are no fireflies. No candles.

Nothing can produce light.

Great darkness hung over the curtains overhead. And the sound of water beating in my ears.

The bubbling sound. I don't know where it came from.

The suddenly lit beam went straight through the darkness.

When the submarine's searchlight casts strong light on the bottom of this deep ditch, the truth that has been buried clearly emerges.

Even in the cold sea water, the bubbling red rock is still secretly red.

The ejected magma flows more and more slowly and gradually solidifies into black lava.

The white tubules crawling on it are countless tube worms.

There are also white sea shrimps that move quickly on the rocks. Their shells were dyed red by boiling water. Even many feet were severely burned.

They are busy moving, catching edible nutrients in toxic seawater containing a lot of sulfuric acid.

In such a harsh environment.

But it has such a strong vitality.

Is it true that no matter how bad the environment is, there are still creatures that can survive?

No matter how hard you suffer, whether you are corroded by sulfuric acid or scalded by boiling water, you can still live.

So why put up with all this pain?

Just to survive?

30

There are four movie tickets quietly on the table.

If these four ticket stubs are properly kept. Then, no matter how time is tampered with in memory, no matter how time is engraved on the skin, a certain time and space defined by these four ticket stubs will always exist.

At the same time, in the same place, in the same light and music.

Whether he and I, or she and you, we have always been in the same environment, shrouded in a gentle pink ball curtain.

The only difference is that I am side by side with him. You are shoulder to shoulder with her.

Does this look like a scene that all youth movies will appear?

3 1

Even on the deepest seabed, there are turbulent bubbles constantly rushing to the surface. Rising white steam. It disappeared forever in a row.

The media I buried in the deepest place, the media I protected most carefully, connected you and me. It disappeared forever in a row.

You can't escape even if you hide under the dark sea.

What are you struggling with?

32

The feeling of uneasiness is constantly magnified in my heart.

How to explain this?

Not safe. Restless. Unstable. Not quiet. No peace. be anxious for

It's like a time bomb buried in your body. As time goes by, the sound of ticking beats in the body. Knock the eardrum exceptionally clearly. I don't know the uneasiness caused by the sudden explosion. I don't know when my world will break into pieces or dust.

In fact, there is a bomb in the body. But it will be dismantled soon.

But when the bomb is dismantled in the movie, when the wire is cut, there are usually two endings: one is that time stops and the bomb is unloaded; The other is that when it is cut off, it makes a loud noise and then it is smashed into pieces.

33

It's like inserting a steel claw into your body, then grabbing the internal organs and pulling them out of your body alive. The scalp-tearing pain explodes back and forth in your body.

Endless pain.

Repeatedly rushing to higher rocks like waves.

34

Cold light can't penetrate the solidified darkness.

The gray light dragged the shadow back and forth.

35

A sad river flows slowly in the dark. Drowned all the youth and time that had no time to escape.

You could have run away.

But you always stay here, and any water surges up until it overturns over your head.

With sound and light, there is no time to escape from this sad river.

The vast black water reflects cold white light. Slowly expand. The moon is pulling huge tides.

Will the whole world be swallowed up so slowly because it is too late to resist?

36

In fact, nothing in this world can absolutely hurt you.

As long as you are cold enough, cold enough and indifferent enough to everything. As long as you slowly polish your heart into a smooth and hard stone.

As long as you think you're dead.

Then, in this world, nothing can hurt you anymore.

I don't want to feel so much pain from others. Then don't give others so much love.

If this sentence is the former self, it will be disgusting to see it on TV or in novels. However, when these things become tangible entities and slowly cover your whole body like a dense fog, you will feel that these things have become wisdom, shining with cruel and calm light.

37

Lonely and warm light at dusk.

Noisy people after school are like sea water on campus.

The wind rustled the leaves layer by layer.

The rustling sound rippled round and round overhead.

38

A wrong world that was once imagined as a chessboard.

Rivers, lakes, oceans, deserts and mountains are distributed on the same horizontal plane like chess pieces.

And you just reached out and shook hands on the other side of the world. So the whole chessboard turned around and tilted over there. All the rivers and lakes, together with the sea, all the tides rush to the horizon crazily. Once Wang Yang became a deep canyon, and once desert mountains were covered with boundless water.

Now, this is how the world is re-selected and redefined.

Now that you have made your choice.

Ever since you put your hand in another distant place in the world.

39

Just like a finger in the dark, I suddenly pressed the wrong switch and everything went back to the starting point.

It's like a tiny pain on the skin, along every nerve, quickly walking back to the heart, chugging.

Just like those awakened memories, the soul is attached again along every yellow face in the photo.

Just like those reversed master tapes, countless yesterdays were replayed in the form of frame skipping with the atrium as the curtain.

Just like those heavy sorrows, with deep love and deep hatred, they go upstream along the groove circuit carved on the annual ring of life.

40

After the harvest, the wheat field, if you have ever stood on it, if you have ever witnessed such a prosperous growth, will become barren overnight, becoming residual wheat straw and charred land.

Then you must feel such a mood.

4 1

Life is full of this sad metaphor.

Just like I accompany you to the exit of that light source every morning.

Just like now, he is driving me away from you who I abandoned in the dark. In fact, when the bicycle wheels rolled in and slowly took me away from you, I really felt the feeling of being abandoned by the familiar world bit by bit.

When the world gave up on me, I slowly put it down.

There will never be such a morning again.

Forty two.

One cold morning, it rained in Mao Mao. Evaporate the water in the pond to a hot afternoon.

Pigeons flew to the blue sky in the evening with a cry outside the window, and the sunset filled the window sill with warm and familiar light.

Many, many times, with a faint look on Qiming's face, that gentle face with warmth all the time will emerge in my memory.

43

Although immersed in the solution of time, I lost the details that should be intact, but I still left a deep-rooted part and stubbornly lived in my heart.

Every day, blood flows through that place and then flows back to the whole body.

I can't seem to find my way back.

Just like the little girl in a fairy tale who scattered crumbs along the road and bravely walked into the dark forest. But when she began to feel lonely and afraid, she turned around and found that the trivial things she had left had been pecked clean by the birds coming and going.

I have raised such a group of greedy birds myself.

So one day, karma swallowed up his way home.

Forty-four

Leaves flourish in this season.

Sunlight is divided by countless green spaces. The light spot shines on the back of the white shirt and moves back and forth.

I don't remember how many times I crossed this downhill road of tall camphor trees with both sides singing together.

45

In fact, many things that we seem to be not very solid or incredible are actually not as complicated or incredible as we thought.

Just like when we were young, we couldn't understand that those disgusting caterpillars were actually the "childhood" of beautiful butterflies.

In fact, there is nothing incomprehensible. Those bugs wrap themselves in opaque cocoons, then gradually change day by day, and finally become colorful butterflies.

In fact, even after it becomes a butterfly, it can cause even more incredible things. For example, it flutters its wings on the other side of the ocean, and storms are randomly generated on the other side of the ocean.

46

The hatred that evaporates from every heart, the hatred that evaporates constantly, and the hatred that evaporates from so many people who hate me.

Countless days of continuous evaporation have gathered on my head and turned into heavy dark clouds.

Why is there never an end?

Why can't you stop?

47

Every minute in this world, countless doors are opened and closed. The light surged in and was covered up after a few seconds.

Different people live in different worlds. The red one. Blue, green. The white one. The yellow one. Even the pink world.

Why are you the only one living in the black world?

48

Your heavy breathing in the dark is the familiar fog in the alley in the morning.

-Your warm chest.

-A huge river, flowing slowly with sadness and silence.

It is a line segment with two endpoints.

It is a ray with endpoints.

A straight line has no end.