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If you find yourself trapped in a black hole, the best decision you can make is to stop digging.
Everyone has some wrong ways of thinking. They are like an invisible wall, which hinders us from success.
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Ability trap
What is holding you back is exactly what you are good at.
Ability is both an advantage and a trap.
Simply put, when you change from a novice to a skilled worker, you will habitually follow the routine and slowly lose the motivation to continue learning.
It is easy for people to indulge in doing what they are best at. Doing what we are good at makes us feel more fulfilled, what's more, it is probably the key to our past success.
At work, those unfamiliar areas will make people instinctively escape and involuntarily return to the comfort zone.
This is the crux of the "ability trap".
We should deeply reflect on ourselves:
Have I been doing what I am good at for a long time?
Have you tried to develop in other directions?
What should I do if the work I am currently doing is gone?
More skills, more choices.
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The real trap
Don't stereotype yourself easily.
Are there any "straightforward" people around you? Those people often speak freely, speak without thinking, and inadvertently offend others.
However, such people also have a standard saying: "I am like this, very straight, don't take it personally."
The implication is that they are born this way and cannot be changed. You have to accept this style.
Obviously emotional intelligence is low, but I don't want to review and improve. Just throwing the pot on personality is really not "straight" but lazy.
Too lazy to take care of other people's emotions, too lazy to let language pass through the brain, too lazy to try to change. ......
This kind of labeling yourself and excluding other possible behaviors is the real trap.
There is such a little story:
When Isabella first came to Harvard University to start an MBA class, she always thought that learning knowledge was a very serious matter, so the teaching method was very traditional.
However, those Harvard MBA students didn't buy Isabella's teaching methods and gave her a low score.
Isabella was heartbroken and went to observe the popular professors. To her surprise, the courses of those professors are full of game interaction, and all the students enjoy it.
She decided to change, designed many interactive links in the classroom content, and interspersed paragraphs in the course to increase interest.
The classroom effect has become very good, and students' evaluation has completely changed. And the way she once despised in class also updated her cognition.
Which is the real Isabella, serious and entertaining? It's actually hard to define.
So are we ourselves. Have the courage to accept yourself, don't set limits for yourself, and keep trying. There are countless possibilities in life.
In daily life and work, real traps can also lead to "kitsch traps".
People who fall into the "kitsch trap" regard all formalized things as "kitsch" in their own minds, and they should maintain their "character".
We advocate getting rid of the "truth trap", not to make you achieve much, but to make you rethink the so-called truth, and don't always use "I am such a person" as an excuse.
Because once this happens, you give up the right to choose.
What many people call self-persistence is actually just a kind of self-restraint. In the long run, you can only be defeated in narcissism.
03
Sinking cost trap
Our decision only affects the future, not the past.
Three months ago, your old car that had been driving for eight years suddenly broke down. Either you have to spend 3000 dollars to overhaul it, or you scrap it and buy a new car, and you choose to repair it.
But now, there is something wrong with its transmission!
There are also two options. If you repair the transmission, it will cost you $65,438+$0,500, or you can send the car to a recycling factory to buy a new one.
At the same time, you know that the car will break down sooner or later. Although you really don't want this to happen, you can't help it. There is still a lot of money waiting for you.
What would you do at this time?
The test results show that if you are like most people, you would rather spend $65,438+$0,500 to repair the transmission, because you don't want to lose the $3,000 overhaul cost you just invested three months ago.
In fact, this is a stupid choice.
As the above example proves, when making decisions, people always tend to be able to prove the correctness of their previous choices, even if they are invalid or unreasonable.
Past choices and efforts are called "sunk costs", which means that past investments, including time and money, are impossible to recover at present.
As long as people think rationally, they should be able to understand:
Sunk cost has nothing to do with now, but most people can't get rid of the psychological torture it brings, which leads to wrong decisions.
What we need to remember is:
Our decision only affects the future, not the past.
Why can't people get rid of the past?
When making any decision, you must consciously exclude all sunk costs (whether psychological costs or economic costs), because they will interfere with your thinking about current problems.
Select and list those who have not participated in previous decisions, and listen to their views and opinions, because they will not be affected by previous decisions.
Review and admit your previous wrong decisions and see why you are upset.
If you just want to protect your injured self-esteem, you need to solve it bravely. Always remind yourself that no matter how smart you choose, it may also bring bad results. Experienced decision makers can't avoid making wrong judgments.
Remember a famous saying:
If you find yourself trapped in a black hole, the best decision you can make is to stop digging.
If you are worried that others will not understand, then incorporate this result into your decision-making process and consider how to explain your new choice to others.
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Confirmatory trap
Confess your motives.
Simply put, it is a verification method of knowing the result and then looking for arguments to support it.
There are two basic psychological factors at work in people's minds:
People always tend to subconsciously decide what to do first, and then fully understand why;
People are always attracted by what they like and ignore what they don't like.
In fact, it doesn't mean that you can't make decisions according to subconscious thoughts, but you must first determine whether this is a smart choice.
You should objectively test this choice.
Ask someone you respect to play the opposition and question your preconceived decision.
It would be better if we could defend ourselves.
Are there any other options? What is the most convincing reason? What's next? What is it? Consider the current situation with an open mind.
Confess your motives.
Are you really collecting information to help you make wise choices, or are you looking for evidence to support preconceived ideas?
Face up to contradictory information. Make sure you fully understand the information from different sources and test them equally rigorously and fairly.
Don't ask leading questions when asking others' opinions.
The end—
? This article is selected from People's Forum Network (rmltwz).