When you react, you are controlled by events; when you respond, you are controlling events. Having a peaceful mind does not mean that you are completely in control of conflict, but it does mean that you are always in control of your reaction to conflict.

Convincing yourself is not easy. First of all, you need to maintain inner peace rather than act blindly. Inner peace requires you to:

1. Do not act under the influence of external factors

2. Do not look at things based on subjective wishes

3. Do not act according to your own expectations See the world

4. Don’t have preconceptions and regard appearance as the essence

5. Not affected by related things and believe too much in what you know

6. Persistence Also have moderation: know that what works for you will work for others. What blinds you will do the same to others

It is also important that you learn to observe and listen to capture more information for persuasion. Observing and listening require you to:

1. Listen to silent body signals

2. Understand the implication and get closer to the truth

3. Prioritize the conversation Find the key points: What you think is secondary may be the key points in the eyes of another person. Learning to observe and listen to what the other person thinks is important will allow you to explain your arguments and propositions more effectively

4. Pronouns will tell you what the other person is thinking: The pronouns used by the other person not only indicate the response he hopes to get from you, but also reflect how firm he is in the position he advocates

You can Get anything you want, as long as you recognize each person's characteristics and true needs.

Culture, language, personality, age, cognition and other factors have a great impact on how individuals interpret information. Who should take action? Should you talk to the other party, or should someone whom the other party agrees with do the talking? Choice is a big knowledge.

A “jack of all trades” is not necessarily a master of persuasion. If you have enthusiasm, others will be infected. And enthusiasm is something you can feel from head to toe, and it's irresistibly contagious. Enthusiasm is receptive, motivating, and exciting. You need to sincerely appreciate others, not flatter them. You must know that one of the key ways to make others like you is to make the other person feel that you like them.

You need to move your point of view "from neutral to opposing and then side by side." A mistake is a mistake, and you need to explain what actions you will take to correct the mistake and explain why you made it. At some point, maybe you should find a credible spokesperson to make the announcement. What needs special attention is that problems cannot be minimized and must be dealt with in a timely manner.

You must be alert! Don’t step into the “*** knowledge minefield”:

1. Minefield No. Ⅰ? Don’t complain or get angry

2. Minefield No. Ⅱ? Don’t look back, look back The purpose of looking is nothing more than criticism: your purpose in communicating with others is to reach agreement, not what to admit or what to apologize for. Your focus should be on doing something, not why it wasn’t done before. Proposing possible solutions is a "problem management" technique that shifts the focus of communication from complaining to making suggestions for remediation

3. Minefield No. III? Don't treat others badly

4. Minefield IV? Don’t ask “What’s your problem?”

5. Minefield V? Don’t ask “You can’t "Be sensible?" This kind of question will only bring conflict

6. Minefield No. VI? Don't point out the contradictions mercilessly to prove that the other party is lying. Pushed into a corner: You can learn from the wording of professionals: "You said A and you said B, but they are contradictory. How can we resolve this contradiction?"

Mutual trust is A force necessary to rely on each other and be able to overcome the inevitable differences. Mutual trust is also an atmosphere, an atmosphere that can transform conflicts into cooperation.

The way you communicate is as important as your mindset. A person's style and approachability are less important than IQ and technical proficiency. "Sounds right" is a cognitive issue, related to logic. "Feeling right" is about feelings. Feelings are subjective, related to human nature, and closely related to communication methods. Whether you are trying to persuade one person or a group of people, the style and manner of communication can have a far more profound impact than the content of the communication.

Situational charm allows you to show your "magic" in your interactions. You are not a machine that can move and make sounds. Others are more interested in you as a flesh and blood person. When you have "personal contact" with others, you can fully connect with the audience, attract the audience, show affinity, and express yourself. You can let the other person know what kind of person you are, thus creating a comfortable and trustworthy atmosphere. An atmosphere of trust is the only way to make everything feel right.

The atmosphere is not right and everything you say is in vain. Trust is easy to lose, but the good news is that trust can be rebuilt.

How to make the other party feel valued?

1. Let the other person know that you value him or her

2. “I’ve been there too”: The feeling of sharing is an emotional sense of belonging that few things can compare to. Bonds that “feel right” are more powerful. To win recognition

3. Control the conflict, rather than control the other party: When persuading, the other party should have a sense of control. Only when you feel that sovereignty is equal will your feelings be right. ***Enjoy rights and give people a comfortable feeling. When you and the other party stand opposite each other, both sides are fighting for power. You don't want to control the other party, but to control the conflict.

? "True temperament" is more influential than "mask". Showing your sincerity works wonders. Showing weakness in moderation will make you more likable.

If you want to persuade others, you must start from the perspective of meeting their needs and analyze the possible value and benefits to them.

How to interest someone with one sentence? What you have to do is go from an ordinary statement to a perfect statement.

Of course, speaking also requires strength:

1. Specific expressions are more convincing than general statements

2. Comments from bystanders It can also make a difference: you have to weigh pros and cons, evaluate facts, gather information, analyze and differentiate, fight against reason

3. "If I can do it, so can you"

4. Pretend to be an authority figure

Why do Campbell’s Soup ads only mention “family love”? That's just the bait it laid out in advance. Although persuading others is your goal, don’t forget to give them a step down. Because people need to stay consistent with themselves and stay true to their beliefs. To ask the other party to abandon his previously announced position is to ask him to contradict himself. Providing new information at the right time can allow him to abandon his original position in an extremely graceful way.

For gullible people, resistance can slowly ease and disappear. So you can find ways to reduce their resistance to you.

Views need to be refined and put to good use. State your topic in as concise terms as possible; any words that do not help advance your argument are harmful and unhelpful. We talk too much most of the time. Not only are we missing the point, but we are telling people far more than they need or want to know. If you emphasize an argument once or twice, its impact will obviously increase. If you exceed this limit, too many words will suffocate your mind.

Fighting wits in the head and fighting skills with the mouth:

1. Use the sentence pattern "if..., then..."

2. Expand Possible scope

3. Redefine the problem

4. Analyze the components of the problem

5. Clarify the scope of the problem

The magic number "3" in advertising slogans: Simplify complex points and use your numbers to play with your points. You only need to establish an extremely clear core argument and then identify 3 portable points to support it. That's enough. . This is how professionals present complex points:

1. Splitting complex points will lead to several scattered parts. You can call these parts steps, stages or blocks

2. After raising one of the parts, immediately explain why this part is important

In the end, what you will get is a powerful effect of progressive layers: put forward some key points, explain why this part is important, and propose Another bullet point, explaining how this part interacts with the previous one and why it's equally important. And so on.

1. Quarreling is a communication killer, so use it with caution

2. Experts let people take action first, and don’t rush to talk when it’s critical

3.5 keys, Open your heart gently:

Paraphrasing response

From "why" to "what"

What if...?

Declarative question

Why do you believe it?

4. There are ways to refuse

1. Tone, gestures and momentum, none of them can be missing

2. Eye contact is actually spiritual interaction

3. Overcoming strength with softness is the secret way to control the whole scene

4. Write keywords on small slips of paper

5. Don’t let the audience get involved in the interactive session Walking on the nose

6.4 defensive tactics to counter hecklers: deal with questions with ulterior motives; grasp the topic; strike first; avoid hostility

? Master 11 tricks and never be afraid of making phone calls again

1. Be concise and concise: One way is to ask the other party: "What would happen if...?"

2. Outline a vivid picture

3. You have the right to remain silent

4. Learn from others

5. Always pay attention to your tone

6. Be patient

7. The other person knows you are listening

8. Count to 3: You may interrupt others by answering quickly. Before you speak, try counting " 1, 2, 3", thus leaving a short period of time for the other party to add more information

9. Don’t feel rushed

10. Take control

11. Make a final summary and review:

4 questions can test whether the other party is listening to you:

Test 1: Is the other party expressing some irrelevant opinions?

Quiz 2: Is the other party asking unnecessary questions?

Quiz 3: Is the other person asking a question you have already answered?

Quiz 4: Is the other person saying "I thought you said..." or "You never told me..."

? How to seek consensus? How to resolve differences?

1. Pre-meeting communication: The best time to test the waters of arguments, find opportunities to communicate individually with key decision-makers, and strive to gain their support

2. Stick to your point of view

3. Keep discussing

4. Ask questions to stimulate thinking

5. Pay attention to others

6. Maintain eye contact

7 .Don’t interrupt:

Wait patiently for the other person to finish speaking, and ask questions to put him or her on the defensive; use precise questions to get straight to the solution; don’t get hung up on minutiae, and focus on the big picture; Take control of your own arguments and strike first; first point out the shortcomings of your own arguments and explain how to deal with them, don’t wait for others to question

Support people’s aura cultivation techniques

1. It’s really necessary Have a meeting?

2. Limit the number of participants

3. Set the tone

4. Participants introduce themselves: Don’t just ask participants to introduce their positions or titles. Ask them to focus on how they can cooperate with everyone to achieve the "meeting goals"

5. Seating arrangement: sit at the head of the table, or stand facing everyone

6. Choose The best time to hold a meeting

7. Put forward goals as early as possible

8. Don’t go off topic

9. The meeting has entered an ineffective mode. Do this: put forward what everyone is arguing about Restate the question and summarize what has been discussed. If the attendees still can't reach an agreement, or if there's a risk of a decision that goes against your original intentions, put the issue aside for the time being

10. Listen to objections: If people have a chance to explain their position, they It is more likely to support less popular positions first. You can force people to make decisions, but you can't force people to commit. If you can get people to state their objections in advance, you can eliminate their hostility. Break big problems into smaller ones that are more manageable. A short break can interrupt the previous conversation, making it easier for you to start a new conversation

11. Record the key points of other people's speech

12 Voting skills: propose a vote as early as possible and Let everyone vote often; vote on the points of common knowledge first; continue to discuss other points

13. Create a good meeting atmosphere by creating a common sense scope

15. Plan strategies and tactics before the meeting begins to prepare for victory

Don’t forget those important cultural concepts, Such as new people, interpersonal relationships, ethics and morality, etc. These cultural concepts more or less define who we are.

Cultural sensitivity doesn’t mean you have to be more like the other person, because you can’t be someone else, and it doesn’t mean you have to make the other person more like you. There is a difference between "level culture" and "customs": customs are about etiquette, while deep-level culture is about the other party's values.

"Soft culture" is better than "hard truth".

Time is a resource and a tool.

1. One-dimensional time culture: Covered areas include the United States, Germany, Canada, Northern Europe and Western European countries. People usually only focus on one thing or one part of a thing at a time, and their way of thinking is linear, clear and orderly

2. Multi-time culture: Covered areas include Latin America , Mediterranean region, Arabian region, Philippines, India and Africa. People can deal with multiple things or all topics at the same time without having to wrap up one topic before jumping to the next. Is their way of thinking circular, flexible and adaptable?

Individual decision or team decision?

1. Collectivist culture: People regard work as a way of life rather than a means to obtain a better life. Right is for the entire team. Negotiation power comes from the collective knowledge of the team. Decisions will not be made unilaterally. It is common to call the company headquarters for instructions. Asians and Latin Americans pursue a collectivistic culture

2. Individualistic culture: People believe that personal relationships and quality of life are far more meaningful than work relationships. Accomplishing tasks is the first priority, maintaining team relationships comes second. Power is given to individuals. People value independent thinking and autonomy. People speak for themselves. Americans, Dutch, French, British and Nordic people pursue individualistic cultures

3. High power distance culture: value authority, status, hierarchy and distinction. This difference may be based on age, gender, position, ability, education, and sometimes relationship. Powerful individuals in the company can initiate and end conversations, and can decide who can interrupt and who can be interrupted. They can make indisputable decisions. The boss is always right because he is the boss. Overreaching kills any chance of resolving the conflict. Latin Americans, South Asians, and people from some Arab cultures believe in high power distance cultures

4. Low power distance cultures: Believe in equality and strive for equal power for all people. Group members will negotiate with each other, and the boss's correctness is only reflected in the fact that he has done the right thing. Americans, Israelis, Nordics, Swiss, Australians and Germans believe in low power distance cultures

"Adventure" and "uncertainty" in culture.

The degree of uncertainty avoidance depends on people's attitudes toward risk-taking, and different attitudes lead to different reactions and tendencies: whether uncertainty, unpredictability, and ambiguity make a person uncomfortable; Do decision makers explain all the points in detail or do they rush through the process.

1. A culture that is less likely to take risks: People prefer formal rules, processes and standards for making decisions. The decision-making process is more methodical, relatively slow, and focused on details. Regions covered by cultures that avoid high risks include: Greece, Italy, Spain, Mexico, France, Portugal, Guatemala and Japan

2. Cultures that are willing to take risks: People do not need too much information and are involved in decision-making The number of people is also relatively small. People make decisions based on intuition, whatever feels right. Hierarchical business structures are seen as ineffective. The sense of personal accomplishment is a very strong driving force, which will prompt people to take risks willingly

Is there any hidden meaning in the other party's mind?

1. High-context culture: It is not so important to be eloquent or have extraordinary personal charm. People want to see that you pay attention to and value your relationship with each other. Treating a contract as a binding document can be rude and is likely to hurt each other's feelings. Areas covered include: China, Italy, Greece, Japan, South Korea, Arab countries, Mexico and Spain

2. Low-context culture: Low-context culture will say everything and almost nothing. Gotta guess. The information people express is everything, and the things that are said and written are the important things. Both verbal and non-verbal communication are cumbersome and lengthy. Since there is no implicit information, more factual information needs to be conveyed through language. Every word spoken has meaning. Coverage areas include: Canada, Germany, Northern Europe and France

Compromise is not always the best option. In order to preserve self-esteem, some cultures do not view compromise as a way to break the deadlock. Here's the reality: Each side wants the discussion to go smoothly. Cultural sensitivity is about understanding and exploring differences in how one another acts and feels.