I eat more salt than you eat rice, you must obey me in everything?

This sentence often blurts out from the mouths of parents and becomes a famous saying for disciplining children, but Do you know what your child really thinks?

When children are rebellious and confront their parents? Listen to the children's voices, maybe it's you who should grow up

Today's parents hope that their children will become dragons and phoenixes, and family discipline is derived from their expectations.

Due to different times, parents are dissatisfied with the way their children dress and often meddle in things in the name of "for your own good". Children in the rebellious period always feel that there is a generation gap with their parents. Not only do they not obey their parents' education, they often confront them.

In fact, every child has different personalities and pursuits, and they also have their own ways of doing things. In many cases, it is not that the children are rebellious and ignorant, but that the parents always look at their children with colored glasses and base their personal preferences on them. Determine whether the child is good or bad.

There was once a post on the Internet that specifically discussed how parents disliked me. After seeing it, netizens enthusiastically spoke out, complaining about it, and there were thousands of messages from their own parents.

The following are the speeches of several netizens who have received the most attention:

@小叶叶: My mother often restricts my freedom. I have to go home after school and stay outside for a while before returning home. We eat fried pork with bamboo shoots at home. Now that I am thirty-five years old, my mother still stipulates that I have to come home on time. I don’t know whether my mother has good intentions or loves me too much.

@Ultraman’s little monster: My dad is very afraid that I will learn bad things. He has been very strict with me since I was a child. He has to come in and supervise me no matter what I do. All kinds of nagging, this is not good, that is unhealthy, this can’t be done, that can’t be heard. I feel like I am not his son but his personal belongings.

@吉光 Katayu: My mother doesn’t let me listen to rock and folk songs. As soon as I listen to rock, she turns off the power switch at home and confiscates my mobile phone. She thinks people who can sing rock music are very bad, and I feel that life at home is very boring. Even if I want to learn hip-hop dancing, she is firmly against it, saying that I don't follow the "right path".

Parents and children are in two different eras, and the interests, hobbies, values, and behavioral norms of the two generations are definitely different. If parents do not make progress and always use the standards of their own era to demand their children, it is a restriction on the child's nature. Regarding the generation gap between children and parents, the core problem to solve lies with the parents, not the children.

Parents should stop judging their children based on their personal preferences. These four steps will help you bridge the generation gap with your children!

Product recommendation: Parenting books that parents must read, A good mother is better than a good teacher, Books that raise good boys and girls without yelling or yelling, and educate children at home

1) Parents learn to change roles

Parents must learn to think from the perspective of their children, and do not always assert parental authority in front of their children. If you use "I eat more salt than you eat rice" to suppress your children, your children will not I appreciate it, but I feel that my parents are bullying me.

2) Communicate from an equal perspective

Parents can try to be their children's "good friends" and communicate with their children in an equal manner, so that they can truly understand their children's hearts. Real thoughts. Many parents do not accept their children and think that what their children do is wrong. This idea is not advisable.

3) Seeking common ground while reserving differences between parents and children

Parents and children are originally from different times, with very different cultural backgrounds and life experiences. The generation gap between the two parties is a big thing. Normal things. In this case, the two parties should seek common ground while reserving minor differences. Both parties should accept and understand each other and allow differences to exist for a long time. Parents must not forcefully pass on their interests, hobbies, lifestyle, etc. to their children.

Family is a place that emphasizes love. Only with love can tolerance be tolerated, and only with love can acceptance be achieved. Imposed love is not love, but control.

4) Parents should progress with the times

Children like "enlightened" parents. Such parents can keep up with their children's times and strive to be on the same page as their children. More useful language when communicating. In order to be enlightened parents in the eyes of their children, parents should keep up with the times and be trendy "Tiger Parents and Tiger Moms". Self-actualization? is the personality theory proposed by the educator and psychologist Maslow. He believes that a "self-realized" person truly has a healthy personality. Self-realization means that people can fully develop their potential without being restricted by conditions and environments. They follow their own hearts and are not affected by the external world. Self-realization is the greatest satisfaction for one's own heart.

Parents should also "grow" on the road to parenting and help their children become self-realized people!

1) Encourage children to make their own decisions and be brave enough to take responsibility for their actions

What parents need to do more in the education process is to guide their children towards the right path. life path. When facing a crossroads in life, parents should not make decisions for their children, let their children decide for themselves the path they want to take.

For example, some parents always hope that their children will become a "scientist", but the child wants to become a "policeman" when he grows up. If the child reluctantly listens to the parents' opinions, even if he does become a scientist, he will I feel that my life is full of shortcomings.

True freedom is not material freedom, but inner freedom.

2) Teach your children not to be biased against anything when looking at problems

Laozi said: "A person with deep virtue is better than an innocent child." Adults generally look at things with their own prejudices and tinted glasses because of their complicated experiences, while younger children look at problems simply and purely. Maintaining an innocent heart is a very precious quality. Parents should not destroy their children's nature.