We now know that psychology is a function of the brain and the brain’s response to objective reality. So is this reaction objective?

For example, this weekend you went shopping with your wife, and your wife took a fancy to a piece of clothing and asked for your opinion. At first glance, you didn’t think the clothes were outstanding, but when you saw her, she liked and was intoxicated. With such a beautiful appearance, you will most likely say "very good-looking". The wife who received the support is even more happy, with happiness overflowing on her face. So, is your reaction to objective reality objective? Obviously not that objective. At this time, the psychology has already distorted reality. This is the third great axiom of psychology: the mind has the ability to distort reality.

Why does psychology distort reality? What's the purpose? From the above example, it seems that the husband told lies because he did not want to disappoint his wife. Since she likes it and feels okay about it, there is nothing inappropriate, so why not make her happy? From this we can see that the purpose of distorting reality is to achieve a certain goal. To put it bluntly, it is to serve oneself and make events develop in a good direction or in a direction that is beneficial to oneself.

In life, we often meet such a person. He is the one who says something is bad, and it is he who says it is good. For example, he commented on how bad a car was and how bad it was, and one day, he suddenly realized that he had bought that car that was terrible in his eyes, and then he started talking about how good it was. This person has distorted reality even more. Before buying a car, I distort reality to say that the car is not good, creating an appearance that I understand it well and gaining a sense of superiority. After buying the car, I distort reality to prevent myself from losing face, otherwise I will be slapped in the face. See, distorting reality is all about serving yourself and getting what you want.

When a student fails to turn in his homework, he will distort reality and make up a reason to avoid the teacher calling his name in class for not turning in his homework. When my husband comes home late after drinking, he will make excuses for himself and distort reality so that he can explain the past in front of his wife. If you are late for a date, you will also make excuses for yourself. There is a heavy traffic jam on the road, and you will distort reality so that you will not be too embarrassed in front of your girlfriend. If the work is not completed on time, he will deliberately arrange an accident to distort reality so that he can keep his job.

There shouldn’t be too many examples of distorted reality in life. Examples include “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and “Sour grapes”, and some even have their own names. For example, after you own an item, you will like it more and overestimate its value. This is also called the "endowment effect" in psychology. When you like someone, you will ignore their other shortcomings. In psychology, this is also called the "halo effect."

Each of us has two worlds, one is the imperfect physical world outside, and the other is the psychological world constructed by ourselves. When a person cannot change the physical world, he can at least distort reality and change his perspective on things, thereby changing his emotions and constructing a psychological world that meets his needs. As Sir Thomas Browne, a British psychologist, said: "I am the happiest man in the world. I can turn poverty into wealth and desolation into prosperity. I am even more invulnerable than Achilles. There is no place where fate can hit me. ”

Our psychological world is not an objective and faithful response to the external physical world, but is based on our genetic imprint, past experience, and current situation. It is constructed from facts and the constraints of the brain. This physical world is imperfect and full of uncertainties, but whether everyone's psychological world is beautiful or ugly, paradise or desert, you can decide it yourself as long as you want.

I can’t help but be happy.