The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates said: "God has given everyone two ears, one pair of eyes, and only one mouth, which requires people to listen more, see more, and talk less."

Perhaps we will ask, why should we listen more, watch more and talk less?

To understand others better.

Since listening is so important, what should we do?

In order to communicate with others on a deeper level, what you need is emotional listening.

What is emotional listening?

In the process of communicating with others, we often interrupt others and are eager to give our opinions and persuade others. What should they do? The other party will clarify, it is not what you understand, what I want to say is..., we listened half way and gave suggestions.

If you keep doing this repeatedly, I believe it won’t be long before you lose this friend’s trust in you, and he will no longer talk to you because he already feels that you can’t understand him.

***Emotional listening is to let go of yourself and enter the other person's perspective to feel his emotions, anger, sorrows and joys, and the other person will feel that he is understood.

In the recording of "The Reader", there was an interview with Xu Jinglei. When mentioning her grandma, Xu Jinglei choked up and could hardly speak anymore. Dong Qing said nothing, but looked at her quietly, with eyes full of concern and understanding. So, Xu Jinglei slowed down for a moment and then finished the whole story.

I believe that Xu Jinglei felt understood at that moment, and only then was she willing to continue sharing, and only then did she have the strength to tell the whole story.

For example, when we communicate with our family members, we also hope to be understood. When we patiently explain it several times, but our family members still preach in the original way, what will happen to us? Of course I won’t say it. When a person has exhausted his patience and is still not understood, he no longer tries to gain understanding from the other person.

Why do many parents’ communication with their children always stop at “eating, drinking, sleeping”? When the child does not understand, he blocks the bond of communication with his parents, and because he loves his parents , try to say something that parents can understand. But maybe from that moment on, both parties lost the opportunity to understand each other.

When you put down your ego and listen to the other person with full attention, the other person will feel understood. Subconsciously, the other person thinks that you are the same type of person, so he will put down his guard and show you as much as possible. yourself, so that you can understand him better.

So be sure to give others the opportunity to fully explain themselves and let them express their thoughts and feelings.

Only by fully understanding the feelings and needs of others can you give them the advice they need and meet their needs. Only then may others accept your suggestions and be willing to establish a connection with you and continue to communicate.

On the other hand, without knowing anything about others, you can also judge what kind of person the other person is by listening. Of course, evaluating yourself is as important as evaluating others. In the process of listening, you must also learn to evaluate yourself and be aware of your emotional state at the time, as well as your feelings and needs.

Only after you fully understand yourself and others can you judge whether it is necessary for both parties to continue to interact.

Li Xiang and Wang Yuelun, who have been hotly searched recently, showed how sweet it was to show their affection to fans at the beginning of their love. Now, the breakup information posted by Wang Yuelun on Weibo (it is said to have been deleted) is enough. It shows a "scum" image of a man who has not taken on the role of a man.

Netizens are criticizing Li Xiang's "strongness". Can this so-called "strongness" be understood as expressing himself too enthusiastically and ignoring the feelings of the other party.

If Li Xiang can let go of his desire to express himself, and let Wang Yuelun express himself as much as possible in the early stage of the relationship, let the relationship between the two unfold naturally, and follow the clues from the details of life, which will also make the other party's " The "slag" image shows its original shape.

There would be no false start, let alone the current result.

***Emotional listening can penetrate into the hearts and souls of others and discover things that have been hidden.

If we fail to make assessments objectively, we will only make poor decisions. Therefore, we should use passion to create our own path in life.

So how can we achieve emotional listening?

***Emotional listening requires our full attention, not only on what is said, but also on gestures, body postures and facial expressions.

In other words, Socrates said, listen more and read more.

When listening emotionally, you have to consciously put down your subjective thoughts; ask open-ended questions, let the other person express themselves as much as possible, and then start listening without interrupting the other person.

After the speaker has finished speaking, think quietly about what you just heard. Then ask one question after another until the person says everything he wants to say. Only then can you give your well-thought-out thoughts.

***Emotional listening is more typical and can be easily shown to the public in the "Long Reader" program, such as the conversation between Dong Qing and Yu Minhong. Dong Qing first learned from Yu Minhong's book "Trying the Best in a Painful World" "And for" began to raise the topic, allowing Yu Minhong to express as many of his feelings as possible.

During Yu Minhong's speech, Dong Qing did not interrupt him or express his own opinions.

When Yu Minhong finished talking about one topic, Dong Qing would bring up another topic...

Dong Qing said: "Everyone thinks that entering a prestigious school is a new beginning, but it seems That’s not the case, you feel new pain.”

Yu Minhong said: “Yes,...when I got to university, I didn’t have any literary talent or sports talent, and...I didn’t read any books..."

Dong Qing’s open-ended question: “Then what can you do to change your predicament?”

Yu Minhong: “Then I will study hard and get better grades than you, but in the end I will get no grades. To reach the best level, I have worked hard to break my body...I have concluded two points: first, there is no meaning in comparing with others, and second, progress is my own business. I read two to three hundred books during my recovery. ..."

After listening to Yu Minhong's speech, Dong Qing summarized his feelings: "When you have confidence in yourself, you will feel that the whole world has changed."

***Emotional listening requires the ability to feel the experience of others without being taken away by it, and to be able to both walk in and walk out.

Under the appearance of being able to talk, there is actually a more important secret hidden.

Arthur Jolamicali, the author of "The Power of Love" said: "Love means that you have to listen, understand and integrate with all your heart, and then you can share with others. heart and soul, even for a short moment. "

Love is the process of spiritual communication and the blending of souls.

In the communication between people, with the flow of information, the emotional connection between people is deepened.

Only when there is emotional communication can the words you speak can best touch the hearts of others.

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How are relationships between people established? The essence of connecting with people is passion rather than speaking skills