There is a character in "Nirvana in Fire" that the audience particularly loves, that is Fei Liu, who is mentally retarded but has great martial arts skills. Everything he says and does is based on his preferences, without too much thinking, he is simple and straightforward, and his likes and dislikes are all written on his face.
For example, Mei Changsu often asked him: "Is it fun?" He nodded and said, "It's fun," or shook his head and frowned, "It's not fun."
This kind of behavior controlled by subconsciousness or instinct can be found everywhere in people's lives, and even plays a key decision-making role in important occasions.
The book "Intuitive Psychology" analyzes our daily lives from the perspective of human instinct/subconscious/intuition, explains the source of the subconscious and its influence, teaches us to face our subconscious, and through intervention, makes intuition a human used.
01? Human beings rely more on instinct than they think
Have you ever experienced confusion at a certain moment?
Whenever I catch a cold, especially a severe cold, I feel dizzy, stuffy nose, and tasteless. However, I often smell the smell of salty dried radish at this time. At first, I thought it was because there was a similar smell around me or there was this side dish on the table. Slowly, I discovered that it wasn't.
Because sometimes I can smell it when I go out. I would smell it when I was in my hometown. Later, when I went to Hangzhou to study, I could smell it even when I had a cold. I could even smell it when I had a stuffy nose on a snowy day. It was really annoying.
Later, I thought it was because my nose was selective in its sensitivity to and reception of smells when I had a cold. I believed this theory for many years.
Until I knew a word, "subconscious" or "instinct".
Therefore, the most reasonable way for my situation is that I have a subconscious understanding that "when I have a cold, the smell I smell is salty radish smell". This awareness has been hidden deep in my cognition for many years, and it even affects my understanding and attitude towards the surrounding environment.
The existence of instinct is not terrible, and we humans rely on instinct to a greater extent than we imagine.
People who love pets and have pets will always talk to them unconsciously. This behavior seems normal to us. But if this pet is some kind of projection of ourselves, then in essence, it is a dialogue between us and ourselves. But we often think that talking to ourselves is an abnormal behavior, or even a pathological behavior.
I remembered a woman I met on the Guangzhou subway. She had a short mushroom head and a round, dark face. Her clothes were not very sloppy, and she was even much cleaner than the average scavenger. What was abnormal was that she smiled and looked at the people around her with wandering eyes, and kept swearing, her voice was loud and sharp, and there was a name that sounded like a man's in her words.
No one around her dared to look at her. Human beings' instinct to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages makes everyone try to stand farther away from her.
I quietly observed her through the reflective glass of the subway. She is like a demented woman who has been hit by emotions or marriage, cursing the man who abandoned her. This feeling of resentment will not disappear even if she loses her mind. When she lost the normal order and rational judgment of the world, only this instinct of hate remained in her consciousness.
This phenomenon of talking to oneself may have left a bad impression on you, so you will think that those who talk to themselves are people with mental disorders.
However, even if you are talking to yourself, you are not necessarily an insane person. In fact, talking to yourself is sometimes a natural and healthy form of conversation.
When we rely on our own instincts to make judgments, we need to identify whether this judgment goes beyond our own imagination, or is it limited by the imagination of the public? We cannot ignore the fact that human beings are more dependent on the role of instinct than in their own phenomena, and are also more influenced by instinct.
02? Where does the subconscious come from?
After I suddenly learned that my "smell of salty radish when I have a cold" might be an instinctive "hallucination", I tried to trace where this "hallucination" and "myth" came from. Come.
We often act carefully to follow the public's principles and think that "normal means being the same as other people, and abnormal means being different from other people."
"So, whenever I speak or behave differently from most people, I feel that I may be the abnormal one, but I never think about what is behind it.
When I started asking for guidance When I had the phenomenon of "smelling salty radish when I have a cold", I found that I could recall countless scenes where I smelled salty radish. For example, when I was sick as a child, there was a plate of fried dried radish in the meal served by my mother; In the afternoon, I watched my aunt and sister-in-law drying dried radishes on the rooftop; the smell of salty radish came from the university cafeteria...
I tried to arrange these memories in chronological order, but it was obvious. Yes: “I can only recall a few unpleasant experiences, and a large number of them are just buried in the depths of my memory. ”
Therefore, I cannot definitely trace back to the earliest memory about the “salty radish smell”. Whenever I feel that I am close to the truth, and that it is the earliest experience, there will always be Another memory to overturn the previous one
But this time, I firmly believe that I have found the final answer.
I am enduring this period of time while watching "Intuitive Psychology". Focusing on the "odor torture" caused by colds, when I read:
"The first reason why the first few years of human life have a vital impact on a person's life is that. During this time our brains make connections within themselves; the second reason is that we make connections with those around us who are important to us. ”
An instant enlightenment.
This passage has three meanings. First, the first few years of human life, that is, the ignorant childhood, have a profound impact on a person’s life. Huge; secondly, when our understanding of the world is not extensive and profound, we are actually making connections between consciousness and subconsciousness within our own brains; thirdly, we begin to connect with the people around us, especially relationships Close people, parents, sisters, brothers, etc.
In fact, in general, this is an important stage when we begin to relate to ourselves and the world.
I think of it, at the age of two. At that time, I was hit with a pineapple can by my grandfather who did not love him (my grandfather died when I was less than three years old. Later I checked this memory with my mother, aunt and others. My grandfather really hated girls when he was alive. I did hit me with a canned pineapple, so this time is not wrong), so I have not been a fan of this kind of sour and sweet canned fruit since I was a child.
I remembered that one year. I had a cold, and I stood by greedily watching my aunt put the cut and dried radish into a clay pot for pickling. At that time, the air was filled with the smell of salty dried radish. I even remember my aunt passing it to me. When I ate small pieces of dried radish, I felt disgusted with the way I tried to avoid them.
After peeling back the layers of memory, I finally found the root cause of my "smell of salty radish" when I catch a cold. < /p>
In addition, many of our understandings and behaviors in adulthood are more or less related to the things we were exposed to when we were young.
Every happy moment in our childhood. Unhappy, laughter-filled/sad, comforting/abandoned, trusting/deceiving waiting experiences will be stored in our subconscious archives, affecting your words, deeds, and decisions throughout your life.
A word that has been mentioned countless times - "original family" has such a great influence on personal growth that it does not need to be elaborated too much. However, the subconscious mind played an important role in the pain of the original family. Store the mediocre, traumatic, or happy memories of your "original family" in your "inner archives." When you become an adult, these memories will subconsciously influence your judgment and affect your happiness. < /p>
03? Use the influence of intuition to achieve self-realization
Descartes said: "I think, therefore I am"
I recall the past, so. I exist; I can find answers to current problems, so I exist; I can prepare for the future, so I exist.
It takes a period of time before our brains can start to think about problems rationally. . When you face yourself in the mirror for the first time and can clearly know "Oh, this is me, the unique me", your "self" has slowly broken away from the subconscious and formed self-awareness.
Psychologists generally agree that you are two years old when you first realize "I am who I am" in this world.
The age of two is actually still very young, but just as I can preserve the memory of more than two years old, can I believe that the age of two is indeed an important turning period in the growth of human consciousness? The answer is unknown.
I have preserved the memory of the myth that "you smell salty dried radish when you have a cold". Through years of thinking and exploring, I have maintained my sensitivity to the outside world. Whenever I have a cold or am about to catch a cold, I They will search and judge past memories, and they will also be able to control their perception of smells. They will feel distressed by smelling the smell, and will also feel comforted by not smelling the smell.
This is what I subconsciously recalled through a memory stored many years ago. This established a connection between me and the world, and provided a good way for me to understand and examine myself. .
This is just like when a new mother hears her baby crying, she will instinctively want to coax, hold and take care of him. For another example, when we get a bottle of drink to drink, we open the cap instead of poking a hole in the bottle with a knife or other object to drink.
Our intuition is a very powerful thing but the object cannot be explained clearly. Women often say they have a "sixth sense", and the "sixth sense" is scary. Many people believe that intuition is the magic weapon that guides our lives.
Psychologists may tell you that your "feelings" are actually accurate, but they have been studied for many years.
Intuition can make judgments on things very quickly and directly and put them into action. In psychological tests, most items are selected through intuition, because the judgments made by intuition are often the closest to our essence.