Age is often a watershed for women.

It divides life into several stages, and sets rules for women, such as common prejudices. After giving birth, women can't love beauty, and when they are mothers, they can't just care about themselves.

Age is a restriction, but also a shackle. That's why there is a variety show like "Sister Who Will Ride the Wind and Waves". Women unite to break the shackles of age and think that women should not only pursue themselves, but also be qualified to pursue their dreams.

Because of my work, I can come into contact with many women of different ages. Over time, I will find a problem, that is, the older a woman is, the less happy she is.

in a nutshell, with the growth of age, there are more and more worries and less points to be happy, and finally they come to a dead end of losing themselves.

So today, let's simply analyze the reasons why women are less happy as they get older, and how to change the status quo.

1 No human body patch is the root of unhappiness

Women need to be cared for, otherwise there will be no famous saying that "love nourishes people".

If you don't believe me, you can look around at the girls who are in love. They are all full of smiles, and their energy is very different from that of middle-aged women.

The quality of spirit has little to do with age, but depends on whether one lives in an environment full of laughter or sorrow.

Why is it difficult for middle-aged women to feel happy? It is precisely because there are few people around them who are familiar with cold and hot, and they can't feel happy. What's more, they are constantly full of demands and injuries, so naturally they can't be happy.

Reader Xu Jie said that she regretted getting married very much. I didn't expect that there would be so many contradictions in marriage, especially these contradictions are not unilateral, but contradictions between people.

Sister Xu is an only child. When she was a child, she came to settle in this city with her parents in business. It can be said that she has no friends, and because of this, her living environment is very simple.

She can't get in touch with trivial matters like seven aunts and eight aunts, and she can't imagine that the contradiction of a large family is so difficult to resolve.

Xu Jie's husband's family is a typical multi-population family, with two men and one woman and three brothers and sisters. When Xu Jie came to the door for the first time, she dealt with her in-laws, sister-in-law and sister-in-law, and after she got married, she kept in constant contact.

When a big family rashly adds new members, others will unconsciously feel xenophobic, not to mention that the in-laws look at Xu Jie with critical eyes all day, and the sister-in-law and the sister-in-law are at odds with each other, and both want to take Xu Jie to the side.

In this way, the originally glued kinship has increased contradictions and conflicts.

As Xu Jie's husband, he should have protected Xu Jie's simplicity and didn't want to interfere with contradictions, but he was very inconsiderate. He attributed all the contradictions at home to Xu Jie's thinking too much and being difficult to get along with.

As a result, Xu Jie was miserable because of her husband's regardless mentality, and even thought of divorce many times, people gradually lost weight and felt more hopeless in life.

you see, this is a typical case where no one understands, regardless of the cause and effect, people are warm and cold, and they just let each other endure. In this way, people have collapsed before the contradiction is solved.

2 Lack of interaction between husband and wife makes it difficult to feel happy

The "unhappiness" in marriage is more a problem of husband and wife than the short contradiction between parents.

The longer they get married, the more casual they are about their feelings. Simply put, they are too lazy to maintain and care, and they are used to muddling along and making do with everything.

In the recent hit drama "Half Honey and Half Injury", there is such a plot that Li Xiaochuan and Xu Li have been married for one year, and Xu Li reminded Li Xiaochuan of the wedding anniversary several days in advance, but it is obvious that Li Xiaochuan, a science and engineering programmer, completely forgot about it.

So Xu Li was very angry, thinking that Li Xiaochuan didn't love herself, and began to run away from home, and said this: "I can't accept that you love me less, or you don't love me so much, because I am a love-oriented person, and you Li Xiaochuan are the only light in Xu Li's life."

when I saw this passage, I suddenly felt very sad. Isn't the purpose of two people getting married to grow old together and regard each other as the only light in their lives?

Why do people always cover this beam of light with black cloth in their marriage, which makes their life dim?

Lenovo itself knows that many people always think that they don't need to pay any more when they get married, so the other party is always dissatisfied and complains that "you have changed, you have changed".

it is obvious that the other person's feelings were ignored first, which led to the other person's repeated complaints, but it was also a slap in the face, saying that the other person was unreasonable.

In fact, women's psychological process in marriage is predictable, from anticipation to disappointment to indifference, when some people complain that "there is no light in the eyes of married women".

Think about it. What is it that makes her eyes dull? Is it really her own fault?

Before, a friend quarreled with her husband and called me and cried, "I married him because he was kind to me. Now he is not kind to me. I don't know how I can persist."

It is said that a bad man cheats for a while, a good man cheats for a lifetime, and marriage is a lifelong contract. Don't be a bad man who has changed his mind and cheated.

3 Thinking too much and doing too little

In the final analysis, it depends on self-healing.

after all, if a woman really depends on her husband or children, she will probably suffer in the end.

Because everyone is an independent individual, they can snuggle up to each other or be relatively independent.

Therefore, what a woman should do most is not to indulge in sad emotions and think about things, but to do what she wants with actions and give herself the motivation to be happy.

For example, an aunt I know, when she was 5 years old, suddenly she didn't want to do laundry and cook any more. She really stopped doing it. At that time, people around her advised her not to be willful, but she just said, "I am willful. I have never been willful in my life. Don't I have this freedom?"

Another example is a classmate of mine, who got a promotion in the company after getting married and wanted to go abroad for two years. Her parents haven't expressed their opinions yet, but her mother-in-law wants to go to the company and disapprove of this decision.

Finally, my friend simply proposed separation, because she felt that she had the right to pursue her dreams.

I don't want to say whether the above example is right or not, but personally, it must be a more comfortable choice. I don't want to say that women must be selfish in marriage.

But when you feel unhappy, you should always do something to solve the problem, instead of swallowing your words and being an ideological giant, understand?