Text/Ting Yuzi

1.

I saw an article on a public account a few days ago with the title "You will never give up because of marriage." What?”

When I saw this title, I was very attracted to it. Naturally, I thought that I had often seen and heard in other people’s articles and other people’s mouths that many women gave up after getting married. He gave up his career and circle of friends, his dreams and hobbies, and even more.

It also reminds me of Luo Zijun in the TV series "The First Half of My Life".

Luo Zijun gave up everything because of her husband's words "I will support you". She used her husband's salary to eat, drink and have fun every day. Her children were taken care of by a nanny, and her family was taken care of by a nanny.

She only needs to go shopping for beauty treatments, drink tea and chat every day. She has no circle of friends of her own, no career of her own, and no hobbies or skills of her own.

So when her husband had an affair and had to divorce her, she was at a loss.

The only person Luo Zijun can ask for help is her best friend, and her best friend is an independent career woman who has a lot of work and things to deal with, and cannot help her all the time.

Luo Zijun will eventually find that she can't even help herself, because she has nothing but a son and a best friend.

As someone wrote in the article: Marriage is an agreement based on true love between a pair of adults, but it is not necessarily lifelong. Don't dedicate all of yourself to marriage, let alone define the entire quality of your life by the quality of marriage.

2.

I have been thinking about this question in the past few days. What is it that I will never give up because of marriage? Finally, I finally found the answer in my heart. These are the things I think I will never give up because of marriage.

1. Will not give up self-growth.

For me, self-growth includes three aspects.

① Learn a skill. Since I was little, I couldn’t type on a keyboard, which has always been a small wish of mine. In order to have this skill, I downloaded Kingsoft Typing Pass last year and started learning from scratch.

After more than two months of study, I also learned to type, but I am not satisfied because my goal is to learn touch typing, so I have been practicing every day recently.

In my opinion, every skill will come in handy at some point, and although typing is important to many people, it is also a goal of mine.

② Read. Although reading can't make me rich, it can make me spiritually rich. I can also learn a lot of knowledge and understand a lot of truths.

And I can see my own shadow in the book, such as isolation and loneliness, kindness and sincerity, strength and optimism, etc. It is a kind of spiritual comfort.

In the past, every time I read a book, my ex-husband would ridicule me: "What's the use of reading books! You can't become a top student, and you can't make money, so don't spend all day reading. Pretend to be a cultured person in front of me.”

I didn’t care what he said, and I didn’t care what he thought of me, I still kept reading.

Because I don’t want my daughter to grow up and say to others: “My mother is a stupid woman, she doesn’t understand anything!”

③ Writing. Writing is my biggest hobby, and it is also something that allows me to grow. In writing, I will meet a better version of myself, and I can often feel happy.

Becoming an excellent writer is also a dream of mine. Because in addition to marriage and family, women must have an important space, which is the space of the soul and the stage of their dreams.

Bravely working hard for your dreams and interests is also a kind of enjoyment and happiness.

3.

2. Will not give up work.

Work is another world and another life for women. For me, work is where I can truly realize my self-worth.

I don’t want to stop being a stay-at-home mom and a housewife, living with my husband and children every day. That’s not the world I want.

Although I am currently taking care of my children at home, I will definitely go to work when my daughter’s studies are stable.

Because at work, I can get more appreciation and recognition from others, and I can show my higher abilities.

When I receive praise and applause from customers and colleagues, I feel that my life is valuable, and my heart is naturally happy.

Why should I give up on things that make me happy and valuable? I don't think that's necessary.

3. Never give up on yourself.

The biggest fear in love and marriage is to lose yourself, give up your own nature for another person, and end up not being able to find yourself.

I will not give up my sincerity, generosity, and kindness because of marriage, because this is something that has been integrated into my bones since I was a child. No matter the environment or things, it cannot be changed.

Most of the time, I tell the truth about people and things. I don’t use sweet words or hypocrisy. I can’t pretend to be my truest self.

I laugh when I am happy, and cry when I am unhappy. I have a temper, but not a bad mind. I have a character, but not arrogance.

Even if I love that person very much, I will not give up myself for it, because the worst thing in the world is not to lose the person you love most, but to lose yourself for the person you love most.

You have to know that if that person can't stand you at your worst, he doesn't deserve to have you at your best.

4.

The well-known host Chen Luyu has a famous saying: "Faced with unsolvable love and life, the only thing we can do is to try our best to live according to our own wishes and not to be It is determined by anyone's will.

Lu Yu once worked for CCTV, and later decided to study in the United States and met her American husband. However, her family life did not stop her from becoming an outstanding host. She returned to China with her husband and joined Phoenix TV. Through hard work, she got her own flagship program "A Date with Lu Yu"

Although her first marriage failed, she still went her own way and continued to achieve brilliance in her career. "A Date with Lu Yu·Tell Your Story" was hailed as "one of the most valuable TV programs in China in the past 15 years" by Time Magazine.

Emotionally, she returned to the embrace of her first love and had her third love. Second marriage. She is tireless in her pursuit of self, and was selected as one of the top ten most influential TV traders in 2016. She has also published many books for marriage. I have not given up anything, and I have still achieved my own success in a down-to-earth manner, with a complete career, social support system and circle of friends.

Yes, things are unpredictable, people's hearts are changeable, and we are facing the uncertainty of real life. , when facing unstable love, we must strive to live according to our own wishes.

There is no need to submit to others' will and suggestions, compromise and give up what you want.

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A smart woman will never give up searching for inner happiness because of others, and she will never give up pursuing herself because of marriage.

I am Ting Yuzi, a post-90s generation. Mom, I handwrite my heart and tell you my true feelings in the simplest words. Your presence is my greatest honor!