1. When I was two years old, my mantra was: When I was a child

2. You have no idea. I am a heavenly girl, and I have many soldiers. I buried them under the flowerpot. Besides, I also have a magic ring, which was given to me by General Zhang Luping. Look, this is the green one. It can turn many shrimp soldiers into generals.

4. When my mother gave birth to me, she was nervous about going to the house at work, so she slept in the abandoned boiler room and looked forward to my arrival happily. During the day, Yaner came to walk around the beam, saying it was a good omen, but at night, the door was not closed tightly, and the wind blew, and the door slammed "Dada" and surprised her. My second uncle said that guns can ward off evil spirits, so he put his gun under my mother's pillow. Fortunately, it didn't go off! I'm afraid this is directly related to my later character (silly).

5. It is said that when I was born, I cried one tear at a time, and the doctor who delivered the baby said, People are wailing, this doll monster is full of water! I stopped crying. On the scale, I made the first move in my life: I put my thumb in my mouth and sucked it

6. To celebrate my birth, my grandmother sent me a cloak sewn by her own hands, with red satin and big peony flowers embroidered.

7. I just got a new doll and happily went to play in the yard. Deng Xiaojia saw it and said, can you give it to me? I stood in the sun and thought seriously: what would happen if I didn't have this doll? I won't die, I won't lose a little bit of my body, and the sun will still shine on me. When I get home later, there will still be cakes to eat and Mickey Mouse to see. After two or three days, my sister will still come to see me and take me out to eat mala Tang. I will hand the doll to Deng Jia and say, OK, I'll give it to you.

8. There is no doll more beautiful than me in the world, except Snow White. She is a fairy tale, fake.

9. Snow White didn't listen to the dwarf's advice for three times. She was taken in by the "black-hearted" queen and almost died. She deserved it. She didn't have a long memory. Especially for the last time, people have to eat all the apples they have eaten, and Snow White is very unhygienic! Stupid as a pig, forget it if you die.

1. I have always been a person who can take care of myself very well, and I will try my best to make myself comfortable under any circumstances. My mother said that after a few months, I left it in a rocking nest and didn't care, so I put it on both sides of the cradle with two hands, rushed forward, shook myself and practiced my oral English: Dad! Dad! Dad!

11. My mother is afraid of crushing me. She never puts me to sleep next to her. She always dams the cradle hot and gentle every day and lets me sleep alone. I am satisfied with this arrangement and feel that life is very regular. Well, it has a bright future.

12. when I was a few months old, I hired a girl from the head of the township dam to take me. one day, this girl went out to dump the slag and came back to find that she had forgotten her key. From the crack of the door, I saw that I was tilting my ass up bit by bit and moving outside the bed! She was scared and hurt, so she called my mother to call her back. My mother will be back soon, but she didn't get the key either! My mother looked under the door and I was about to fall! Without saying anything, she went around the back of the house, climbed up the third floor from the sewer pipe (my family lived in the dormitory at that time), and turned in through the window, saving me in time.

13. Later, I took her to Mount Hua, and she said, Fear! It's so high

14. One day when I was one year and two months old, my mother was going out shopping, but there was no one to look after the house. She was in a dilemma, and I said the first sentence in my life: Mom, go, don't be afraid, I'll watch the house at the head of the house.

15. I cried once, and my father ignored me for a long time. I ran over and accused him very angrily: hey! Sang Guoquan, you didn't even know your daughter was crying.

16. Mom coughs all the time, which is related to a foreign name, cough, cough, cough. (Because of the little mole, I firmly remember this awkward foreign name)

17. My mother is a white-haired girl, and she has white hair at the counter.

18. My dad is Huang Shiren, of course.

...

761. Because of my poor sleep, I fell asleep on the airport bus. When I got off the bus, my wallet was gone, and there was a huge sum of 5 yuan in it. However, I remembered my mother's famous saying: save money from disaster, then the plane will definitely not fall off today, and I don't have to die! I boarded the 3U8736 flight with great ease. Looking at a plane full of people, I was very happy: everyone doesn't have to die! Merciful Guanyin Tathagata, Allah Allah, my father Jesus!

762. According to the visual inspection, there are about 18 people on the plane. When 5 is divided by 18, I think it is about 2. The price of 9 yuan/per person has saved everyone, and it is worth thousands of dollars.

......

814. michel platini was the first taxi driver in Tibet. He said that one morning on the Septon Festival, he took a woman to the Buddha. He asked him nervously: How do you say "forget" in Tibetan? He said: Kinsey is blocked. All the women were mumbling: Kinsey blocking Kinsey blocking Kinsey blocking Kinsey blocking Kinsey blocking.

815. I was surprised!

816. I once went to see Thangka on the morning of the Snowdon Festival and took a taxi. On the way, I asked the driver almost the same question, but I couldn't forget it. The driver said: you are definitely not Tibetan. If you can't forget it, you can't say it, Jin Meisai!

847. I read all the way about Kim Messer, Kim Messer, Kim Messer, and Kim Messer, until I came to the foot of drepung monastery. When I saw the people winding up the mountain in the morning, I couldn't see my head, and my tears rolled down.