Every year after Thanksgiving, the birthday season of our "Sagittarius House" comes one after another.
No matter how reluctant I am, no matter what standards I follow, I actually entered the ranks of "middle-aged people" from now on. (The United Nations World Health Organization has made new regulations on the age division standard: young people are under 44 years old; Middle-aged people aged 45 to 59; 60 to 74 years old are young and old; 75 to 89 years old for the elderly; People who are over 90 years old live a long life. )
When I was eighteen, I still remember what I wrote on the title page of my diary with a pen: The greatest opportunity in life is always the optimism and joy in your life. Even if I am wandering around, I will sing while walking!
I have experienced the stumbling of fate, walked through the ravine of life, left my hometown and crossed the ocean. This passage often comes to mind inadvertently.
Having experienced impermanence, I have always believed that no matter what falls from the sky, life is always beautiful. Stepping into middle age, I should have been enlightened and knowledgeable. Perhaps because of this belief, I still have an optimistic and sincere "girlish heart".
When we were young, we always thought that happiness was a thing, and we would be happy if we had it. So when we celebrate our birthday in the New Year, we will be excited by the long-awaited gifts. Will be happy to put on beautiful new clothes; Will dance because of eating sweet cakes. ......
When we grow up, we think that happiness is one goal after another, and we will be happy when we reach it. So, you are ecstatic and admitted to an ideal university; Catch up with the girl you like, and you smile; When you find a well-paid job, you are full of ambition. ......
When people reach middle age, they suddenly understand that plain is true. Happiness is actually just a state of mind. You have it, you feel it, and you are happy.
I am happy to have a pair of healthy parents;
I am very happy to have a considerate lover;
I am very happy to have a beautiful, self-disciplined and independent daughter;
I'm glad I can eat and sleep, and I won't gain weight. ......
(I accidentally pulled hatred, especially the last sentence [picking my nose])
Day after day, year after year, we all grow, mature and grow old unconsciously.
I met a new immigrant couple in Los Angeles, and they got along well. When I returned to China to visit my relatives that year, it happened that my husband was in the city I was going to. So he made an appointment with me on WeChat, and he would try his best to receive me.
After making an appointment with a man, I sent a message to his wife in America. Although we are all friends, I should say it myself to avoid unnecessary misunderstanding.
Although I didn't look pretty when I was young, I was more or less heterosexual, so I used to be proper limit and thorough in dealing with married men.
However, I forgot that I am not that young woman anymore.
After meeting in a city in China that day, the man smiled politely and said to me: You also say hello to my wife! That's very thoughtful of you, but it doesn't matter.
The expression and tone of his voice gave me the first reaction: our husband and wife have a good relationship and my wife won't be jealous. The second reaction is: You are highly respected (Xu Niang is half a year old), and none of us will be paranoid.
At that moment, I suddenly had an idea that I had never had before: getting old is actually a good thing. At least in interpersonal communication, especially with the opposite sex, it saves a lot of trouble.
When I am old, although I am no longer a amorous young woman, I can be an understanding intimate sister, a gentle and considerate best friend and a kind and tolerant aunt. ......
I am willing to accept different stages and roles in my life and enjoy it.
On my daughter's eighteenth birthday that year, I said to her in a sincere voice, "You are eighteen. Soon you will be nineteen or twenty years old, and life is short, so cherish it! "
My daughter left home after being admitted to college and just started to live independently. She smiled disapprovingly: Mom, you are like a philosopher! I'm only eighteen, and you should say such things to me! ?
Last week, my daughter celebrated her 2 1 birthday. I told her again: Do you remember when you were eighteen, I said you were going to be nineteen or twenty? Look, you are twenty-one years old this year! How time flies!
The daughter still disagrees: Mom, of course you are right. But this is my life, and I need to experience it bit by bit. You shouldn't use your experience and ideas to influence me condescendingly. You are not me, and I am not you. The taste of growing up needs me to savor it slowly.
My daughter is right!
Just like me, when I was not confused, I listened to a lot of "old people's words", but I was still confused, still learning, still growing, or having an epiphany:
I am still aware of the ugliness and filth in human nature;
I still yearn for the beauty and miracle in life;
I still have tears in my eyes for the gentleness and kindness that others inadvertently reveal. ......
When I was young, my grandmother always told me: Don't laugh at Chinese Pulsatilla when I was young. How many days can a good flower be popular?
When I was young, I felt a lot younger and didn't really understand the meaning.
When I was young, I was willful and determined. Ignore it when you are angry, and you can't coax it. Now I am seldom angry, occasionally unhappy, and I don't need to coax myself to digest.
When I was young, I was sharp-edged and my emotions were beyond words. Now I still can't hide my inner feelings, but I'm no longer sharp-edged. I learned to respect others and accept differences.
When I was a child, I called my friends and never knew what loneliness was. And now I don't force myself to waste time accommodating people I don't like. Get along and make friends; Don't get along. Stay away. Enjoy your own time: reading, studying, drawing, writing, drama, and doing handicrafts.
People don't understand until middle age that real wealth is a healthy body, a simple life and a broad horizon in mind.
When people reach middle age, I slowly taste another kind of taste, which is called loss.
Last year, I lost my father-in-law, the kind, hardworking and lovely old man, and my husband's favorite father!
Not long ago this year, I lost a middle school classmate. At school, this strong, talented and always joking boy stopped working before celebrating his 45th birthday!
He will stay in my WeChat circle of friends forever and can't meet again!
Think of an English sentence I once saw: Don't regret getting old. This is a privilege that many people are deprived of. Don't regret getting old, many people die before they are old.
So, cherish every candle on the birthday cake!
Life is impermanent, and we never know which comes first, tomorrow or accident. So, before it's too late, meet the people you want to see, do what you want to do, and live the life you want without regret.
When people reach middle age, I gradually understand another kind of happiness, which is called cherishing.
My daughter moved home in March this year because of the epidemic, and it has been nine months now.
Although she has to rack her brains to make her favorite vegetarian food every day. I am very tired and happy. I cherish this rare opportunity to be with my daughter.
I also want her to remember that home will always be her warmest harbor and her mother will always be her most trustworthy person. I hope she can pass on this warmth and trust in the future.
I cherish every opportunity to be with my parents-Qianshan is far away, and the time I can spend with them in my lifetime is limited.
I cherish every opportunity to confide in my bosom friend-in this complicated and impetuous world, someone is willing to speak his mind and lend me a pair of listening ears. They are defenseless and precious!
Middle-aged people, I also slowly learned another kind of wisdom, called-let go.
I used to tell you my experience like Sister Xianglin. Those unexpected betrayals, disappointments and grievances have been with me for many years, and I can't let them go.
I once talked to my husband about my injuries, and I don't know why white people are so bad. He said to me with a gentle face: "When people hurt others, they are actually in pain." When people hurt others, it usually means that they are in pain. )
I suddenly let go at that moment.
The woman who lost her husband when she was young had to raise three sons by herself. The boy who lost his father since childhood grew up unconsciously in his mother's hysteria. ......
Their world is deformed, they are unfortunate, they don't want to be kind, they may just release their pain in this extreme way in pain.
At that moment, I chose to forgive and let go-let go of the past, let go of the grievances in my heart, and let go of the people who have hurt me.
Mark Twain has a famous saying about age. He said, "Age is a matter of thought over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. " -Age is not so much a fact as a mental problem. If you don't mind, that's all right.
Others say that "getting old is mandatory, but growth is optional"-getting old is necessary, but growth is optional.
The performance of age is different for everyone, and everyone's attitude towards age is also very different.
Recently, on the stage of the Golden Rooster Awards Forum, Yongmei, a 50-year-old "Berlin-winning actress", told everyone: Can you not repair my wrinkles? They just grow.
She said: "Now, I am not nervous about wrinkles, but a little proud. Age is not my enemy, my story is written on my face. And this face is the truest tribute to time. "
The nobility, elegance and composure revealed in Yongmei's bones are also endowed by years.
When people reach middle age, although their faces are no longer young, please keep our hearts young forever! Please let us love life forever! Please let us always have love in our hearts! Please let us be ourselves that we like!
1206- Happy birthday to me!
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