Happy families are all alike, and every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

——Leo Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina"

As soon as Leo Tolstoy said this, everyone was amazed and praised, as if overnight In this world, families in this world can be divided into lucky and unfortunate ones.

Just like a happy family is always full of laughter and laughter; an unhappy family is always experiencing its own misery.

For many years, it has been deeply believed.

So many people think that they are in an unfortunate family and look forward to a happy family, hoping that they can be as happy as the protagonist there.

The efforts made are just blindly changing oneself, criticizing one's partner, demanding children, complaining about fate...

The result is often anger and resentment, and it is difficult to achieve what one wishes.

But people have overlooked a basic fact, that is, the experience and definition of "happiness" are extremely subjective. What others want may be what you can't avoid.

There are a thousand people, and there are a thousand different and specific definitions of happiness.

So, where is the unified standard of happiness?

The recently popular variety show "Wife's Romantic Travel" (Season 3) invited 4 celebrity couples to participate.

Observing the relationship patterns of these four celebrity couples, we will find that happy families must be very different because of the different personalities of the protagonists.

Happiness,

may come from understanding after a sudden jump;

it may also come from long-lasting emotional running-in;

It may also be accumulated from time and time again intentional romance...

01. Intentional romance comes from true love.

Rather than saying that "Wife's Romantic Travel" invited Du Jiang and Huo Siyan as guests, it is better to say that "Wife's Romantic Travel" is an idol drama with Du Jiang and Huo Siyan as the protagonists.

In all the couples' interactions, we can find Du Jiang's extremely thoughtful romance with Huo Siyan.

When the program team asked the husband to write a letter to his wife, Du Jiang did not forget to quote the British poet Eliot's poem when expressing his deep praise. The signature was "Love you Mickey, when I miss you in 2019" ";

When the program crew asked the husband to give his wife a surprise date, Du Jiang took Huo Siyan back to the university dormitory and campus to make up for the regret of not having sex with his wife in the four wonderful years;

When the program crew asked the husband if he knew his wife’s weight, Du Jiang said that the princess had hugged his wife two days ago. The reason was that his wife sometimes refused to walk from the living room to the bedroom. At this time, he asked the princess to hug his wife. The wife went back to the bedroom;

When the program crew asked the husband to write a "three-line love poem" to his wife, Du Jiang wrote an ancient poem, quoted from classics, integrated it into Huo Siyan's life experience, and wrote an acrostic poem :

Huo Piaoyao, a flying general and a lifelong military champion,

browed up his brows after thinking about it and thought about it again,

The swallow flew to the capital and complained in his arms. heartfelt emotion!

Because he disliked his wife’s suitcase being too messy, when Du Jiang said something wrong and made his wife cry, he immediately summed up the wise words for couples to get along:

Different kinds of life One way is not more noble than the other, it's just that everyone is used to this kind of life... I won't take it seriously on these things in the future. ”

When Huo Siyan asked him for demanding details, he changed his story and said that his wife did this for his own good;

Knowing that his wife was going to celebrate her birthday on the road, Du Jiang specially asked the program team to give his wife multiple surprises. He recorded videos with his son, especially his son’s daily study and entertainment, so that his wife could rest assured;

When his wife said there was no such thing as theirs, The marriage did not have a romantic wedding. When he expressed deep regret, Du Jiang choked up and cried, saying that the responsibility was on him and he should step up preparations.

Therefore, there is a kind of happiness, such as Du Jiang and Huo Siyan, who are romantic with heart. , comes from true love.

02. Careful and caring.

Miriam Yang in the wife group is also the goddess of happiness that everyone admires.

Facing her. During this trip, her husband Ding Zigao was worried in every possible way and told her to pay attention to health in daily life and not drink ice water or strong alcohol;

While he was preparing luggage for his wife, He carefully prepared toothbrushes, towels and other toiletries just in case, which really solved his wife's urgent need;

When preparing for a romantic date for his wife, he would dress up as her favorite idol and sing Her favorite song;

When he learned that his wife was traveling in Thailand and wanted to learn Muay Thai, he carefully prepared his own knee pads and other equipment for his wife;

When the program crew asked When her husband shared some beautiful photos of his wife, Ding Zigao showed off the daily photos he took of his wife. Every one of them was beautiful, and Ding Zigao himself admitted that he especially likes to record every detail of his wife’s ordinary life;

These moments include the leisure time of my wife waiting for coffee, and the joy of being together with my wife and children. It is really warm.

In addition, while watching the program, Ding Zigao always emphasized that his wife has a bad memory and always loses things carelessly, as if she is always looking for her mobile phone. During the recording of the program, his wife did what he said, I lost my phone once.

But more often than not, Miriam Yeung acts as the photographer of the tour group, recording many beautiful and unforgettable moments.

When Miriam Yeung said that she knew her memory was poor and was afraid that one day she would not remember anything, so she used her mobile phone to record her life. Ding Zigao was shocked and comforted his wife that it was not that serious and she would always be by her side.

So, there is a kind of happiness, like Ding Zigao and Miriam Yang, who take care of everything and take care of it.

03. Hard-spoken but soft-hearted, never give up.

Compared to other couples, Jiang Shan and Li Na are probably the couple that has been more controversial.

Because it is difficult to find romance, fun, warmth and other things related to marital happiness from their "knife mouth".

Li Na herself admitted that the reason why she came to record "Wife's Romantic Travel" was to get rid of Jiang Shan.

Because in their more than 20 years of love and marriage, they were like conjoined twins, and she was extremely bored with Jiang Shan.

Li Na even complained about Jiang Shan's indifference, saying that every time she plays a game, at a critical moment, a moment of frustration, or a moment in need of encouragement, when she looks at Jiang Shan from the field, what she sees more is Jiang Shan. The moment when you shake your head and deny yourself.

It can be described as a basin of ice water, from head to toe, cooling the heart.

Li Na also accused Jiang Shan. When she changed coaches for work needs, Jiang Shan was so angry that she lost contact with him for several days.

When other couples share their romantic and unforgettable things with their partners, Li Na and Jiang Shan always seem to be blank and extremely embarrassed.

Jiang Shan also has a lot of helplessness and dissatisfaction with Li Na.

He didn’t understand why Li Na couldn’t clearly separate work and life.

He doesn’t have a photo of Li Na on his phone, and he rarely says sweet words to Li Na.

But we still see that in order to make Li Na happy, Jiang Shan, a straight man like him, went to a nail salon in person, bargained for a manicure lesson, and painted the nails of Li Na who liked doing manicures himself.

When asked why she chose Jiang Shan as her partner, Li Na's answer was: "He made me believe in love."

When sharing how couples get along, Li Na also said frankly, There seems to be not much romance and tenderness, but I have never thought about separation.

Jiang Shan also holds the same view.

Moreover, during the whole process, I discovered that although there was no wedding, only one trip together, no taking photos of each other, and no sweet words in Jiang Shan and Li Na’s marriage, they were absolutely Don’t envy other people’s wives and husbands.

This is probably what is called, although you are not perfect, since I recognize you, I will be with you forever!

So, there is a kind of happiness, like Jiang Shan and Li Na, who are hard-mouthed and soft-hearted, and never leave.

04. After going through ups and downs, be grateful for your efforts.

In "Wife's Romantic Travel", another controversial couple is Ling Xiaosu and Tang Yifei.

Ling Xiaosu in the show seems to be like a mama's boy who never grows up and constantly asks for love, relying on his wife Tang Yifei.

When he saw the sweet interaction between Du Jiang and Huo Siyan, he often expressed his envy and jealousy, saying that he also wanted his wife's coquettishness and sweet words, but Tang Yifei was just a careless and informal person. He is called "Yifei Ge" in life.

And Tang Yifei’s complaints about Ling Xiaosu are all “scumbag stone hammer”:

Pursue her when she is deeply involved in the whirlpool of public opinion, and treat her to dinner twice without bringing any money;

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The wedding was sloppy and lacked sincerity;

When traveling, he left her alone in the hotel and went out to hang out by himself;

When facing his wife’s trip, he just talked and said nothing. Any practical action...

Tang Yifei even said frankly that if Ling Xiaosu wanted to divorce, she would do so immediately.

So, is Tang Yifei happy?

I think that suffering, tiredness, and grievances may be like the daily necessities of marriage, and every woman will taste some of them. But what is rare is that Ling Xiaosu can understand and be grateful for Tang Yifei's dedication and sacrifice to herself.

When Ling Xiaosu played their wedding video during the date, his wife cried, and so did he; when he heard his wife telling about the criticism and disappointment she suffered during their marriage, her wife wanted to give him " When the marriage was like a "blank piece of paper", he vowed that he would never divorce;

He was grateful that his wife Tang Yifei had ruined her bright future and terminated the contract with her agent in order to marry him.

He stopped filming to avoid scandals;

He admitted that when he saw his wife who was drunk because of loneliness and disappointment, he felt guilty and felt sorry for his father-in-law and for not taking good care of his wife;

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When he heard his wife complain about online violence and lamented that a person who graduated with the best grades turned into a street rat because of him, he cried for his wife's injustice;

He said He is selfish, and his wife Tang Yifei has been healing his pain...

And both of them said that the denial, criticism, and slander from the outside world only made the two of them closer together. Became true soul mates.

So, there is a kind of happiness, such as Lin Ling Xiaosu and Tang Yifei, who have gone through ups and downs and are grateful for their efforts.

05. In what aspects are happy marriages similar?

It can be said that these four couples are happy in their own ways, and they also touch us.

So among these different happiness models, are there some unique things that can be extracted for everyone to learn from?

I think these reasons are obvious:

Happiness is contentment: others are good, my partner is better, and more suitable for me;< /p>

Happiness is a change of perspective: my partner is not perfect, and I am not perfect either, but I know how to appreciate his strengths; happiness is a burden: life is about caring for the elderly and children, and it is also about food, rice, oil and salt, but with you hand in hand, I feel at ease;

Happiness is forever: Yesterday’s quarrels and today’s complaints are all dispersed with gratitude, paying tribute to eternity...