1. If I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were tea leaves and you were boiling water, would you brew me? If I were a car and you were the driver, would you drive me? If you were the money and I was the bankbook, I would definitely withdraw it from you.
2. I am a bird imprisoned by you. I have forgotten how high the sky is, but my madness cannot be tolerated in this chaotic city. Tears are my only luxury.
3. How many times have I told you to go to bed early at night and not go out, but you just don’t listen. No, it came into my dream again last night, making me unwilling to wake up!
4. Man: Every time I miss you, the stars will shed a tear. This is how the ocean is formed. Woman: I fart every time I miss you. This is how the ozone layer is formed.
5. Thinking of you is so beautiful, stuffed with Xinjiang’s roasted leg of lamb. Although you are fat, I miss you, but you still have weight in my heart. It's late at night, the birds are sleeping, and the mosquitoes are out and about. I miss you and look forward to you. I am destined to have insomnia tonight. The dream is lost, the soul is lost, why don’t you return the heart that was stolen by you?
6. A lover will eventually become a piece of meat, and a pig will appear in the eyes of the lover. If the love between two people lasts for a long time, it will not be about pork, pork and meat. I wish to be a winged bird in heaven, and a pig with a tail on earth.
7. Yeah! I accidentally sent you "I love you" by mistake. If you accept it, store it. If you don't accept it, send these three words back to me.
8. I am a bit vulgar, a bit weird, a bit boring and cute! A bit lazy, a bit bad, a bit smart and a rogue! A scoundrel is a scoundrel, a glib man talks about love! If you want to love me, then love me.
9. No matter where I am, thousands of miles or thousands of miles away, no matter when, ten years or a hundred years, I miss you deeply and love you deeply. Although I deny the existence of all gods, I will always believe in you, the "new God!"
10. You are the bread in the morning, the ice cream in summer, the garlic of Shandong people, and the pepper of Sichuan people. When I see you, your heart beats faster, but your mood gets worse. When I dream about you, time flies too fast. I hope it’s not a long wait to have you.
11. Marriage notice: Male, bachelor's degree, only a few points away; working in a multinational organization, cleaning tables at McDonald's; owning a house, owned by multiple people; owning a car, non-motorized; looking for beautiful young people*** Go to hell, several years later.
12. The craziest thing in this life is to fall in love with you. The greatest hope is to have you accompany me in my madness for the rest of my life!
13. You are the sun in my heart, but it is a pity that it has gone down; you are the moon in my dream, but it is covered by the clouds; you are the most beautiful flower in my heart, but it is a pity that it has bloomed; you are Chang'e from heaven came to earth, but unfortunately she landed face first!
14. You, my dear, stole my love and my heart. I decided to take you to court. What crime should I punish you with? The judge went through all the criminal records and cases, and finally the jury unanimously agreed: I sentence you to me for life.
15. You and I are both single-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. It is said that people come to the world just to find their other half. I finally found you after all the hard work, damn! But I found that our wings were aligned.
16. I can’t eat in the morning because I miss you; I can’t eat at noon because I miss you even more; I can’t eat in the evening because I miss you crazily; I can’t sleep at night because ...I'm hungry.
17. My dear, for you, I will bravely cross the ocean and jump into the abyss without hesitation. I will overcome any difficulties! I'll see you on time on Sunday, if it doesn't rain!
18. The scorching sun is long in the summer, the rolling heat wave has nowhere to hide, the eyes are dark and the heart is panicked, the sweat is flying in the head; missing you is like eating cool candy, and the heart is full of sweat. It's cool at all, no matter how hot it is, it still feels like an air-conditioned room!
19. If you were a lovely red apple, I would be a lazy worm and chew you!
20. Missing you is like a morning glory that rises upward every day, stretching bit by bit, centimeter by centimeter.
21. Angels fall in love with devils, cars rear-end for love, trains derail for love, toads open their mouths and stare at swans and drool. Love does not require reason. If you like to chase after you quickly, hesitation is bound to regret!
22. Dear customer: Because you send and receive pornographic text messages at will, your mobile phone will start a self-destruction process ten seconds after receiving this text message. To avoid hurting innocent people, please throw the phone ten meters away. outside!
23. They all say that I am a bitch. Yes, I fell in love with you without saying a word. I have no qualms about you, and I will never be half-hearted, no matter what. My dear, for you, I am willing to continue like this.
24. The last weather forecast that was completely correct may have been God telling Noah that the probability of heavy rain was 100%.
The four main reasons why I am in a bad mood recently: stocks are falling every day, I have not won the lottery in several draws, my job has not been promoted in a few years, and my beautiful girlfriend is running away!
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26. When I miss you, you are in the sky. When I scold you, you are in front of me. When I call you, you go to the subway. Are you the same as before?
27. I miss you. When I looked in the mirror just now, the person outside hiding behind the trash can and peeking at me looked exactly like you. is that you? I see him reading text messages now.
28. After these days of getting along, I feel like a deer in my heart when I face you. I want to confess but I am afraid that you won’t accept it. I can’t control my inner feelings. I really like your phone. , will you sell it for 20 yuan?
29. Are you off work now? You must have been very busy during this time. Pay attention to rest and don't be too tired. For example, don’t read this text message.
30. Yeah! I accidentally sent you "I love you" by mistake. If you accept it, store it. If you don't accept it, send these three words back to me.
31. Why should you stop what you are doing. Will you die if you don’t read this text message? You stupid ass, do you have any brain? Even reading such boring text messages. Really tasteless.
32. When you receive this message, it means I like you. Delete your crush on me. If you reply, you want to marry me. If you don’t reply, you agree to marry me. If you modify it, you will be mine even if you die. If you save it, you will belong to me in the next life. For me, forwarding is to declare to the world that you love me!
33. I went to buy chicken legs with my girlfriend. I told her, go ask the salesperson and we only want the back legs. The front legs are not delicious. But she actually went and came back with a look like she would kill me. .
34. Yesterday, I saw a beautiful woman and couldn't find a reason to strike up a conversation. The king took out a tissue from his pocket and chased the beautiful woman and shouted: "Beauty, your shoes are dirty, can I wipe them for you?" Beauty: No, someone just licked it. King: The competition is too fierce now.
35. I was hungry last night, so I went to cook some noodles. After the water boiled, I added salt. I accidentally spilled the salt on my hands. I didn’t want to waste it, so I put my hands in the pot and rinsed them. A wail was heard.
36. We went to eat at a roadside food stall in the evening. Two men got into a quarrel after drinking too much and even started fighting. The owner of the restaurant watched the excitement with us. I asked the boss why he didn't break up the fight, and he said, "The customer is God. How can we, mortals, take part in the battle of gods?" That seems to make sense.
37. A person who gives his salary to his wife every month is not called a salary, but a salary forwarder. @小罗和himself
38. If someone asks me: How did you survive those difficult years? I think I have only one answer: I have a strong spiritual power supporting me, and this power is called "I want to die but don't dare"...
39. I saw a nurse giving a little fat man a hand in the hospital. After many attempts of acupuncture and no results, the little fat man couldn't help but said: This is all meat, no blood vessels, you can find another place ~
40. When others stay up late, you are sleeping; Others have already gotten up, but you are still struggling to sleep for a few more minutes; you have many ideas, but you get over it when your head is hot, but others stick to one thing to the end; it takes you a long time to read a book, while others work overtime and eat instant noodles , when the work is not completed until one or two o'clock, you will leave it until the next day, and the efficiency is much worse than others - so it is not without reason that you have good skin, high energy and beautiful appearance.
41. Today, I took a long-distance bus for a business trip. While everyone was rocking to sleep, a woman answered the phone: "Hey, I'm sleeping, I'm sleeping in the car! Who the hell are you talking to?" Go to sleep, I’m sleeping with a bunch of guys!” Then everyone in the car became energetic!
42. "Boss, bring me a washboard!" "Which one do you want?" "It's comfortable to kneel on!"
43. The little fish asked the big fish: "Mom, Why do they say that fish’s memory is only seven seconds?” Big fish said, “What did you just say?” Xiaoyu said, “What?” Xiaoyu said, “What’s wrong?” ?"
44. On the first floor construction site, a few strong men asked the boss: "How many tens of thousands do we have for today's batch of goods?" After thinking about it, the boss said: "Eighty thousand!" The strong man in the lead frowned and said: "Eighty thousand is less, not enough for a group of brothers to share. How about one hundred thousand?" The boss waved his hand: "It's a deal! After moving the one hundred thousand bricks, go find out and collect the wages." ! ”
45. The wonderful use of mobile phones in love: turning on the phone is to wait for you, turning off the phone is to avoid you, turning off the phone is to forget you, and the expired number is to forget you forever!
46. Loneliness is like a cigarette, and longing is like a drop of tears. In the misty smoke, I saw your handsome face, which seemed as moving as the first time we met.
47. If allowed, I really want to forget you. But this can never be done? You put your arms around my shoulders, with infinite tenderness in your eyes. Don't leave me, I need you.
48. Love that lasts forever: after going through wind and rain, the rainbow appears, the broken mirror reunites, the meaning is deep and affectionate, the love has no regrets, the special liking, the eternal unity, the love of life and death.
49. I will always be by your side, letting you know that with a stubborn heart, I am waiting long and persistently; you can’t see my affectionate eyes behind my back! You should be able to feel my fiery heart.
50. Maybe people sometimes can only use reason to control their feelings. It is not because they have moved on and are not in love anymore, but because love has changed its way and is hidden at the bottom of the heart.
51. Fate comes together and ends, love is here tonight; don’t ask for wealth, just have it; countless days and nights, I miss you quietly; the mountain streams and streams eventually return to the sea; the lover in my dreams finally returns to my arms!
52. Even if time stops, even if life is like dust, if this world will eventually disappear, our love will never die.
53. I understand that I can’t let go of your love, I am too familiar with your care, and I can’t bear to leave you for a while. After we are separated, we may believe in love even more!
54. Please give me your heart's sustenance and keep my hopeless longing. I am no longer lonely in a foreign land, I am no longer lonely... Thank you for the love you gave me.
55. Gossips cannot stop my love for you, and nonsense words cannot express my love for you. Only soft words can get your love.
56. Accidental acquaintance, permanent longing, I just want to hold you in my arms, enjoy a moment of joy, occasional romantic indulgence, but it is related to loneliness.
57. If you are sad, please tell me and I will help you solve your problems! If you are happy you will infect me! If you are happy, it will always be my face that smiles; if you are sad, it will always be my heart.
58. A lover’s tears can wake up with just one drop; a sentimental heart can be broken by rubbing; there is no right or wrong in gatherings and separations, who can tell the difference between right and wrong. Love is a glass of wine that makes everyone drunk.
59. I never knew that parting would be so sad, I never knew that missing you would be so strong, I never knew that loving you would make me so crazy. But I know in my heart: I only love you!
60. I can’t fall asleep tossing and turning. I miss you a thousand times and I hope you will appear soon. I spend my nights thinking about you, I spend my days thinking about you, and I look forward to the day you come back.
61. I carefully keep the past in my heart, lest time will dilute it and leave me nowhere to look for it, but I am also afraid of approaching and disturbing your peaceful sky.
62. I turned a corner in my dream and saw that good time. Although you are no longer by my side now, your figure is still present in my heart.
63. Love is a plant. When it is sown, who can imagine what kind of buds, flowers and fruits it will produce?
Organized by: zhl201704