Lisi: What's the matter?

Zhang San: Cough! My son has been getting more and more disgraceful recently. Don't treat me like a father.

Lisi: Is it true? I see. Your son won't ignore you as a father for no reason, will he?

Zhang San: Cough! A few days ago, there was a parent-teacher meeting. The teacher asked parents to talk about their understanding of the network. I listened to it, don't mention how happy I was. You know how precious this opportunity is to me. Just like looking forward to the stars and the moon. Finally. Today, parents of excellent students don't give lectures. I slipped and stood up from the last row, and then I walked onto the stage in a few steps!

Lisi: Don't worry, don't worry, your mood is understandable. This network is a high-tech product, not the kind that your family catches fish. Only you, can you talk?

Zhang San: Who says I can't talk?

Then what are you talking about?

Zhang San: Say what? Listen to me. I stood on the stage (posing in the air)-comrades, I haven't been in contact with the Internet for a long time, but I have a long history and a good understanding of the Internet. For example, I can chat online. This is called QQ. Every time QQ says she is a beautiful little girl. You can find information on the internet. This is a search engine, and you can't find where to give money every time. Shopping can be done online. This is called e-commerce. I bought a bottle of soy sauce on e-commerce. You can watch movies online. This is called an online cinema. I've always wondered if this is piracy.

Is this your speech? !

Zhang San: It's not over yet! To sum up, the network looks complicated, but it is not terrible at all. Connect the telephone line to the TV, and then put an electronic organ in front. (two fingers flick) surfing the internet means sitting down and playing, playing and playing. ...

Lisi: OK, OK, so this is your speech? !

Zhang San: My son hasn't given me a good face since the parent-teacher conference.

Don't just blame the children. Think about yourself. Does your son still have the face to meet his teachers and classmates?

Zhang San: Go! Listen to what you're saying! Don't I love my son? Doesn't my son love his father? In order to rebuild my tall image in my son's mind, I had another idea.

Lisi: I have an idea. What should I pay attention to?

Zhang San: Double the homework assigned to him every day.

Lisi: Double the homework? This is not your personal vendetta!

Zhang San: Why are you so ugly? ! Me and my son, who and who? I can avenge myself! I did my son's ideological work.

Lisi: Ideological work?

Zhang San: Yes! I want to talk to my son. I told him earnestly, son, you should see through dad's good intentions. Dad didn't reveal that skill last time to show off. Dad wants others to know that your father knows nothing about the Internet. At least your dad is an Internet cafe.

Lisi: xo!

Zhang San: Right xo! About your homework, Dad suggested many times not to aggravate it, but the supervisor refused to approve it, so ... it had to be done!

Lisi: What about the supervisor? !

Zhang San: Just my child's mother!

It's you and your wife You and your wife increase the children's schoolwork burden at will. Can the child bear it?

Zhang San: Who says I can't stand it! In the past, my son couldn't finish his homework in two or three hours, but now it only takes 20 minutes. I checked it right!

Lisi: Really?

Zhang San: Yes!

Lisi: ... So your son is a child prodigy?

Zhang San: I wonder, too, that since our family bought a computer and got online, my son's speed of doing homework has accelerated. Is it because my son is a sleeping lion and finally began to roar in the roar of the internet?

Lisi: Then check your son quickly? See if he suddenly appeared as a prodigy!

Zhang San: You have to tell me! My son is in the third grade. In the fourth grade, I found a set of math problems for him to do. I'd better invigilate myself!

Li Si: What was the result of the exam?

Zhang San: An hour's exam question, my son did it all day and handed in the paper!

Lisi: It doesn't matter if it takes a long time. The key is to see the result.

Zhang San: After the results come out, there are two ones and one zero.

Li Si: 10 1?

Zhang San: Zero on two horizontal lines.

Lisi: (gesturing with his hand) 0! ! What the hell is going on here?

Zhang San: I don't know! When my son was doing his homework that day, I left a crack in the door.

You peeked?

Zhang San: Guess what I saw?

Lisi: What do you see?

Zhang San: This boy is typing the homework I assigned him into the computer!

What does your son want?

Zhang San: What are you doing? Isn't it obvious to send homework online and let others do it for him?

Lisi: Ah!

Zhang San: (angrily) At that time, I ... I pushed open the door and went in, pointing at this boy. I was so angry that I couldn't say a word. Damn, it is ... a hacker! Hackers!

Don't scare the children.

Zhang San: I am angry! I'm in a hurry! I am full of anger! I rushed over and raised my hand. ...

Lisi: Are you going to hit the child?

Zhang San: Not yet. My son said something first.

What are you talking about?

Zhang San: A gentleman talks but doesn't do it!

Lisi: Ah! So you were ambushed in this fight?

Zhang San: Yes! I missed this kid's ambush! I'm angry! I'm in a hurry! I am full of anger! I looked up at the computer on the desk, rushed over without saying anything, picked it up and held it over my head (a gesture of lifting something and falling) …

Lisi: Did you drop your computer?

Zhang San: (an affirmative gesture and expression) Yes! ! On our Simmons.

Hey!

Zhang San: At this moment, my son added ...

Li Si: (imitating a child) Dad, where did I go wrong?

Zhang San: (imitating a child) Dad, I just got online education!

……

Lisi: Great! Your son's online education is really great! ! It seems that the Internet has really changed our lives. Me too ... Ah ... Zhang San, you know me very well. I'm really a good person, but I'm thin-skinned and I'm not good at talking.

Zhang San: Especially when I see girls, my face will turn red and my lips will fight.

Lisi: To tell you the truth, I haven't been chasing a girl for a long time, just over three years.

Zhang San: Not including the five-year secret love.

Lisi: Finally, on a sunny day, I want him to understand that the moon represents my heart.

Zhang San: Confess to him?

Lisi: No! Ask him to go online!

Zhang San: What are you doing online?

Lisi: Tell her online!

Zhang San: That's not nonsense! Let me ask you, can you express yourself online?

Lisi: I still get married online! What a cliche! Now, who is in love, walking hand in hand by the river in the Woods? This is completely outdated old feudalism. What is popular now is online dating and online confession. There's nothing embarrassing about two people not having to face each other. You can say anything disgusting, anything you can't say. In particular, everything you say gives people a lot of imagination. I have experience. It's good to express your love online! Perfect for a shy little boy like me.

Zhang San: Are you still a boy? ! Are you blushing? (Ha ha ha smiles) What is the result of repentance?

Want to hear it?

Zhang San: More interested!

Lisi: (proudly) that day! Flirting for a while, finally said a word.

Zhang San: What?

I love you, Fox.

Zhang San: Who is the fox?

Lisi: My screen name. My name is monkey.

Zhang San: Your fox must ask you-do you love me?

Lisi: I replied affectionately at that time-yes! Besides, the United States attacked Iraq.

Zhang San:-What do you want?

Lisi:- surrender!

Zhang San:-Did you surrender or did the United States surrender?

Lisi:-America and I both surrendered.

Zhang San:-Why?

Lisi:-Because of justice, because of peace, because of love.

Zhang San:-I suddenly feel that you have changed a lot. Yesterday, you were a countryman who knew nothing. Today, you suddenly become a hypocrite full of peace, justice and love, just like a pet dog wagging its tail to go home. More and more lovely!

Lisi:-I suddenly feel sorry for you. You are just a national treasure panda, and people like you. It will become that Iraq is being bombarded by others, and you are not bombarded by shells, but by spicy love soup!

Zhang San: Do you understand what I mean?

It is too late for me to love you. I ... want to ...

Zhang San: Why? What? Choke? !

Lisi: No, the Internet cafe is out of power!

……

Zhang San: To put it bluntly, having said so much shows that we are now in a network age.

Reese: The spirit of the Internet is freedom, equality and enjoyment.

Zhang San: It is precisely because of this that the Internet has become a colorful, approachable and colorful new world.

Lisi: Those celebrities, stars and big names in the past, who have the opportunity to face each other? It's okay now! We can surf the Internet with them.-Come on! Dude, sit down and talk!

Zhang San: Stop it! I met a very famous person online!

Lisi: Who is it?

Zhang San: UN Secretary-General Annan!

Lisi: Really? You are so lucky! Annan is the biggest official on our planet. My old father is over eighty years old. He asked me the other day, Li Si, do you know who my father's idol is?

Zhang San: Cecilia Cheung!

Go! It's Annan!

Zhang San: When I found out it was Mr. Annan, I quickly said hello-hello, hello, hello.

Lisi: (Listening with hands and ears) This is a foreign parrot!

Zhang San: But Mr. Annan said (in a foreign blunt tone)-I'm sorry! My English is terrible!

Lisi: It doesn't matter whether it stinks or not! Ask Mr. Annan quickly, what will happen to the global green food market next year?

Zhang San: Why? How can you be so selfish! Just care about yourself!

Lisi: I did it for everyone!

Zhang San: Why? Who doesn't know that your family buys stinky tofu! I am not like you! Dear Mr. Annan, do you know? I have always longed for the United Nations and the Security Council. Working in the United Nations was my greatest childhood dream, and it still haunts me. Excuse me, Mr. Annan, does the United Nations still need someone to watch the door?

Li Si: Are you going to the United Nations to watch the gate? ! This ideal is too great.

Zhang San: What happened to the United Nations janitor? I want to serve people all over the world!

Lisi: I didn't say anything! See where you want to go!

Zhang San: That's right. You don't know what you are thinking!

Lisi: I was wrong. I can't be wrong. Did Mr. Annan arrange a job for you or not?

Zhang San: While I was waiting, Mr. Annan finally sent a message. Well written! Not the kui is the secretary-general of the United nations, what's the big deal!

Send me a message?

Zhang San: Five billion people have five billion flowers, and five billion people have a common home. How beautiful our home is! Green mountains chase green water, sunshine kisses white clouds, two birds hold hands at sea, and a red dragonfly walks on the grass. Suddenly there was a song. It turned out to be a group of little toads clamoring for ice cream. Ah! ! But it is the responsibility of all of us to make our home more beautiful. But Zhang San, are you ashamed to feed your neighbor's peony with leftover fishbone? !

Lisi: Zhang San used the leftover fishbone ... to feed the peony flowers in his neighbor's house? !

Zhang San: ... How did Mr. Annan know this little thing? !

Lisi: I have to ask you, did you throw fish bones?

Zhang San: I didn't … no … no one … it was dark when I threw it that day, and no one saw it!

Lisi: Didn't anyone see it? Even the secretary-general of the United nations knows it, but no one has seen it! You know what a bad influence you have caused the country and people by throwing fishbones. Our yellow people are ashamed of you.

Zhang San: You ... don't do this ... Secretary-General of the United Nations. Later, I learned that this Annan was originally from China.

Lisi: From China?

Zhang San: And he still lives in our hutong!

Lisi: Living in your hutong? Ha! I was fooled!

Zhang San: Can I be fooled? Do I look like someone who has been teased? I went to the supermarket to buy things, and they gave me an extra dime. I went to their manager at once. What are you doing? What are you doing? Why give me another dime? I'm so bullied! Tell you what-don't say it's a dime, even if you give me two cents more, I won't pay you back!

You're just fooling around!

Zhang San: On the street the next day, I met a bad boy who pretended to be Annan on the Internet. I'm rude. I pointed to the boy and let go of my voice and shouted, Hey! Listen to what this boy told people on the internet-he is the leader of a workshop and insists that he is the deputy director; He can't even ride a bike, but he tells people that he and Yang Liwei have driven Shenzhou 5 together. Also, it is said that he is recognized as a handsome boy, and even Andy Lau has to wear a mask when he sees him!

Are you hurt? !

Zhang San: No pain. This is the internet age, full of busyness, excitement, truth and falsehood. However, you must pay attention that online dating can be tried, but don't be stubborn. (Finger Li Si) Be careful when you meet this number.

Go! !