Don't involve relatives. The quarrel between husband and wife is purely a family matter, so don't involve other relatives. This is not only useless, but also makes the other person's good feelings for your loved ones disappear completely. Don't let outsiders judge the quarrel between husband and wife, don't criticize each other's faults in front of outsiders, and don't let outsiders judge who is right or wrong. This will make the other party feel humiliated and expand the contradiction. 6 Reconciliation as soon as possible After the quarrel between husband and wife, they should be reconciled as soon as possible. After a quarrel, whoever makes sense should take the initiative to apologize to the other party. I hope my answer will satisfy you. ! Why is she angry that she is right or wrong? As a man, be generous, or you won't be sincere after a long relationship ~ but be careful that there is a ghost in her heart and then deliberately find fault ... It is important to care about her wife, understand her answer, love her well and listen to her voice more. It is best to have you to do anything with her ... so that the feelings will be warmer ... even if there are unpleasant things, he will not be angry when he sees that you love her so much.
Tolerance and understanding, in exchange for true love, are mutual tolerance rather than indulgence. Love is caring, not conniving. Love is blending with each other, not unrequited love. Love is not a match made in heaven in the eyes of others, but the inner harmony of people who love each other is to make each other live better and pay silently. This love not only warms oneself, but also warms those secular hearts. True love is when they can love. Knowing how to cherish true love means knowing how to let go when you can't love it, because letting go is everything ... Please cherish it, love it and bless it when you let go ... True love is a kind of heartfelt care and care, without flowery words and grandstanding, you can only feel it in words and deeds. So plain and so firm. On the contrary, oaths and promises explain its uncertainty. Never believe sweet words. Feel with your heart. The purpose of quarreling is to communicate, so you need to do something and avoid something when quarreling.
■□■ One of the things to do:
Be clear about each other's ideas and express your own ideas clearly. For example, the other person said, "I think you are really selfish." You must not rush to fight back: "What about you? How can you go there again? " You should calm down and ask the other person, "Why do you feel this way? What have I done to make you feel this way? " This is to clarify each other's ideas.
If the evidence presented by the other party is unreasonable to you, you should also tell the reason why you think it is unreasonable. Clearly express each other's thoughts, so that the quarrel between two people can be focused. Otherwise, it is easy to make a mountain out of a molehill and accomplish nothing.
■□■ The second thing to do:
We should sort out each other's needs. Ask the other person: "What do you want me to do? What can I do to satisfy you? " Or tell each other clearly, what do you want him to do to satisfy you?
Many people quarreled for a long time, and as a result, neither side knew what the other wanted. In this case, it is very important to use scientific definitions. For example, the other person says, "You don't care about my feelings every time". You can ask her, "What can I do to make you feel that I care about your feelings?" If he says, "I hope you can accompany me often." Then you can ask her, "How many days do you think I have to accompany you a week before you feel that I am accompanying you without ignoring your feelings?"
Don't think it foolish to clarify these problems. Many people's quarrels are entangled in this issue. Imagine if the other person says "I hope you can spend time with me" and you say "I really can't spend time with you every day". Can you accept being with you three days a week? "You see, isn't this the real beginning of communication? When you say this, the other person may realize that his request is unreasonable and will be willing to make more reasonable and feasible requests. Isn't this kind of negotiation much better than when she complained that she was not cared about, and you flew into a rage and scolded the other party?
In addition to the above two important principles, you should also avoid the following things when quarreling:
■□■ First, don't say things that are unlikely to change:
For example, I feel that the other person is not tall enough, has a bad figure or doesn't earn enough money. If you are the one who was told, I suggest that you can calmly respond and say, "I know I am like this." But this is me. This is me. Talking about this problem won't help us.
So, can we talk about things I can change? "If you are the man you said, then I suggest you think clearly, the other party may be like this. Accept it if you can. If you can't accept it, consider leaving him. Forcing the other party to make some impossible changes only adds insult to injury to the other party's frustration. If his problem needs psychiatric treatment (such as impulsiveness, alcoholism, pessimism and avoiding people), then you should help him seek professional advice.
■□■ Second, don't turn over old scores, but quarrel with future problems:
Don't dig up the old accounts you have been digging up during the argument. This is only to mobilize the emotions of both sides, and it does not help solve the problem at all. I suggest that you often say, "Well, what should I do if I encounter a problem like today?"
You can tell how you will deal with similar problems in the future, see if the other party can accept it and hope you can change it. You can also ask to see how the other party will deal with the problem, see if you can accept it and express your expectations. I often say, "What should we do if we encounter the same thing in the future?" Such a sentence can help you shift the focus of the argument from emotional venting to problem solving.
■□■ Third, don't interrupt each other:
If you interrupt each other frequently, it is easy to arouse their anger and it is difficult to communicate effectively. You should listen to what the other person said calmly, and then make it clear. If the other person has a lot of miscellaneous content, you can ask him to say one core question at a time.
Then after he has finished, you can repeat his thoughts and ask him if your understanding is correct. Usually an angry partner will calm down because you understand his feelings accurately. Therefore, it is very important to let the other person have a chance to finish his thoughts smoothly.
But what if the other person keeps interrupting you while you are talking? Then you can say to him, "You keep interrupting me now, so I can't say what I think." When you have reminded me two or three times and the other person will still interrupt you, then you can say, "I think you have been interrupting me, so we can't communicate."
If you want to talk again, don't interrupt me again. If you can't do it, we'll talk tomorrow. "Stick to your position until the other party can stop interrupting you, and then you can continue to communicate.
■□■ Fourth, don't quarrel when you are excited:
When two people are emotional, the voice of yelling at each other is getting louder and louder. They can blurt it out if they think they can hurt each other. There is no communication at this time, and the quarrel between two people just wants to vent their anger. Therefore, smart people should avoid these emotional times, shut up and don't quarrel, calm down and come back.
I advise you not to quarrel under the following circumstances:
(1) While driving
(2)65438+ after 02: 00 am
(3) After drinking
(4) When you feel uncomfortable or tired.
In these cases, your physiology is easily excited, as flammable as gasoline. Once quarreling, it is easy to turn into shouting at each other without focus. Such a quarrel is only bad, not good. If the other person always wants to quarrel with you, you can say to him, "Now you are too excited, and our conversation will not be fruitful." I will definitely find time to talk to you about this problem tomorrow. "This should be adhered to.
There is no intimate relationship between people without quarreling. Constructive quarreling will make each other understand each other, and their feelings will be closer. Therefore, as long as the way of quarreling is right, it is good for our relationship. Answer supplement
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? Every couple has some minefields. Inadvertent aggression by others will make us feel pain, irritability and anger. If a careless wife always offends intentionally or unintentionally, for a long time and more times, it will lay a hidden danger for marriage.
Minefield 1: war face.
Typical nagging: "You love to talk big. Last time you said you had a good relationship with the principal, but you didn't transfer my sister's children. Now you tell your mother that the stock you bought will definitely make money. " Stop it! "
Husband stifles fire: My wife is always very strict, and sometimes she says it in front of others, which makes me lose face. I think she always doesn't trust me enough, which makes me very important in front of her family.
The wife explained: I actually did it for his own good. He made a promise in front of others. If someone asks him to do something, isn't it more disgusting that he can't do it? I really don't understand why my husband likes to brag so much.
Know men from the heart: There are many men around us who like to brag. On the surface, they seem to be overconfident, but in fact, the opposite is true. Behind the "self-expansion" is the inferiority complex.
Because of fear of being despised, I show my exaggerated self in front of others to gain their attention and envy. Just like a child, but behind the grimace is "look at me!" ""praise me quickly! " That voice.
Therefore, in the face of her husband's big talk, a smart wife will not expose it, but can look at him with admiration and satisfy his vanity. At the same time, I understand his deep desire and praise him more at ordinary times. I believe that my wife's affirmation will definitely enhance my husband's self-confidence, and he will not always be self-expanding. It is worth reminding that as a woman, don't try to correct some bad behaviors of your husband through everyone's strength. You know, criticizing your husband in front of everyone has no other function than making him feel ashamed. Minefield 2: Invade his space.
Typical nagging: "honey, you seem a little unhappy today." What happened? Will you tell me? " "Tell me, why don't you talk as soon as you come back? Did I make you angry? "
Husband stifles fire: I admit, sometimes things in the company are quite stressful. So, after work, I am eager to be quiet, read the newspaper, or lean on the sofa to watch the ball game. These are my best ways to cope with stress. But my wife is always asking questions around me. I don't know what to say to her. So, she got angry and said that I was making things difficult for her and that I ignored her. As a result, my work pressure has not been solved, and I have to deal with her emotions. I am really impatient.
Wife explained: I am his wife. If he has any difficulties or problems, he should tell me. My comfort may make him better! However, he always says "nothing!" coldly or perfunctory. "My temper suddenly came. We haven't seen each other all day. Can't he be more affectionate? Am I not as important as newspapers and TV?
Understand men from the heart: men need a sense of space more than women. When they encounter problems, they don't need to talk like women, but need the understanding and sympathy of others. When men encounter problems, they prefer to hide in the corner and think quietly. They regard solving problems alone as a sign that a man can stand still. Usually after a period of calm, they will find a satisfactory answer. If the problem can't be solved, they will divert their attention, read newspapers and watch TV, and shift their anxiety about their own problems to their concern for other people's affairs. When they return to their own problems, they often find solutions. Women want to force their way into men's hearts and help them solve problems, which will actually give men a sense of oppression. If you still lose your temper about it, it will make men feel headache and helpless. Minefield 3: Ignore his feelings.
Typical nagging: "Can you stay away from those friends!" ""Your mother is so embarrassed. When the child has a birthday, she doesn't want to give a red envelope, she wants to be a grandmother! "
The husband fought back his anger: as soon as I heard these words, I stopped fighting. She looks down on my friends and is very critical of my mother. I don't know what kind of people in this world can satisfy her. I usually respect her parents and friends, and I hope she respects mine, but she is a little pushy. In fact, she is very picky about these things. To put it bluntly, she is not satisfied with me. I didn't expect her to be so snobbish. I'm a little afraid to live with such a woman.
The wife explained: Come to think of it, do I really hate his mother and friends that much? Actually, it's not. Maybe women are jealous. When his friends take up too much of his time and his mother takes more care from him, as a wife, I have an indescribable feeling that I am not that important in his mind. As a result, the loss turned into a finger pointing at others.
Know a man from the heart: don't think that you can win his feelings by slandering his family and friends sourly in front of a man. If a man is indifferent when you slander his family and friends, he will either compromise to please you or suppress his anger and pretend to be calm. In his mind, he will be super disgusted with your remarks.
Although men's feelings are not exposed, they are deep. Love for his mother is a mountain and river that he can't shake inside. The more you deny his mother-in-law, the deeper your feelings will be hurt. In the end, he may be farther and farther away from you. Men's friends are an important part of their faces. As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. In his brothers, a man can find his own shadow and something to be proud of. When a woman denigrates a man's friends, she denigrates the man herself. Minefield 4: Overthrow his prestige
Typical nagging: "You child, how come everything is as clumsy as your father." "Your brother is very lazy. I won't be at home for a month. He is really in danger of starvation! "
Husband stifles fire: I can't stand women's nagging. I just nag when no one is around and can't keep my mouth shut in front of others. I can't stand her criticizing me in front of my son or family, which will lead to my discredit.
His wife explained that he did have some problems. I usually try my best to make him change, but he refuses to talk about his shortcomings in front of his son or his sister. In fact, he is trying to exert some pressure on him with the help of external forces.
Understand men from the heart: men need to be worshipped. In the eyes of others, men's self-confidence and sense of responsibility are awakened, and they are more willing to constantly improve themselves for those who admire themselves. Men not only need women to worship, but also long to be worshipped by everyone in their hearts. Once a man has a son, he regards his son's worship of himself as the most important thing, which is not only the expression of his desire for control, but also the expression of his desire to set an example for his son.
If a woman's words and deeds affect a man's dream of being worshipped, his feelings can be imagined. Therefore, it is foolish for a woman to change the way a man thinks, and it is even more foolish to try to change a man with the help of external forces. What you can do is to appreciate his merits and influence people around you to appreciate and worship him. A man whose sense of value is aroused will naturally have a strong desire for self-improvement. Minefield 5: Insulting his self-esteem
Typical nagging: "I am really blind, how can I marry you!" " ""If I had known, I would never have married you! ""big deal we will divorce! "
Husband stifles fire: Whenever she says these words, I feel particularly incompetent. I don't know what I did wrong, which made her so desperate and made me have no confidence in our present marriage. Are women so utilitarian?
The wife explained: women are very emotional, so am I. Sometimes I feel wronged because of some things, and I say those words when I am angry. Maybe I noticed, and only these words can make him react! Otherwise, he always sits there silently without saying a word, and you don't know what he is thinking. To tell the truth, many times, I just want him to coax me like when I was in love, but his behavior is becoming more and more disappointing.
Know a man from the heart: marriage certificate is not only a legal procedure, but also a commitment to share joys and sorrows and never give up. It is this commitment that makes lovers feel safe, practical and happy. Some marriage experts believe that a good marriage is the best place for people to heal, because in front of their lover, the feeling of being completely accepted and trusted is as safe and warm as that brought by their mothers.
But many behaviors in marriage will destroy this sense of security and warmth. Ruthless verbal attacks and divorce will break the vows of marriage and shake each other's sense of security in marriage.
In fact, as a man, he also needs care, warmth, tolerance and acceptance. You can be coquetry to him, or you can be a little grumpy to him. However, unless you really decide to leave him, don't "intimidate" him with disgusting language. This cruel injury will destroy his trust in you and his confidence in marriage. Minefield 6: Destroy his value.
Typical nagging: "I think among your classmates, it belongs to you." Look at Li Wei, who will read the boss's mind. After only working for a few years, I became the vice president. Look at Zhang Tao again. With his salary, where can he afford a house? I don't know how much gray income I earned! In the end, we are honest people who suffer.
Husband stifles fire: When a woman wants to hurt a man, the most direct language is to tell him that he is a loser in her eyes. She said that all my classmates get along better than me, and she must be comparing me with other men. The most terrible thing is that the result of comparison is that I am inferior to others. At that moment, I felt ashamed. I believe that any man will feel the same way as me.
The wife explained: Actually, I didn't mean to hurt him. To tell the truth, I don't like his classmates. Sometimes I think it's better to marry a reliable man like my husband. I admit, I feel quite unbalanced when I see their classmates who are doing well. I say these words in the hope that he can make progress and earn more money. Unexpectedly, he was hurt so badly.
Know men from the heart: Men are competitive and often show their abilities by defeating their peers. That's why men must be brave when women are present, even at the expense of their own lives. In men's hearts, there is a deep fear of "losing". Some psychologists believe that women are lovelorn because of the pain of lovelorn, and men are lovelorn because of the pain of losing value. And "loss" for a man means that his value has been discounted.
Therefore, a woman who praises others' ability in front of her husband is tantamount to hitting her mouth in the eyes of men. Therefore, if you want to inspire a man, the best way is to trust him and encourage him, instead of using other men to * * * him.
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Why do two people often quarrel when they clearly love each other? The deeper you love, the more you will ask the other person to do well and hope that the other person will become perfect. If you don't love, two people can ignore each other, which will lead to breaking up. If two people who love each other want to maintain a relationship, they must share joys and sorrows, communicate with each other, understand each other and pay each other. Quarrel means that they have different ways of doing things. Whoever is right or wrong can be adopted through consultation.
Why do two people who clearly love each other always quarrel? Yes, two people who love each other should not quarrel. I think the problem is you. You should understand your husband more. I can see that your husband hates you because you care more about your parents on economic issues. This is normal. Your husband's reaction is a sign that he will have a good life. Don't quarrel with him, try to avoid it. Explain patiently, I think he will understand. I hope you show it with a smile when he is angry.
Why do two people who clearly love each other always quarrel over trifles? That's because you care too much about each other and don't allow any gap between you/but you really like each other. Still have to give each other a small space, so that love will have a better result. Start (a disease) ...
We love each other very much and often quarrel over trifles. This sister. When people get along with each other, there will be friction, but we should not let this friction spark. We should turn this energy into happiness.
As the saying goes, men sometimes don't need to be strong, let alone for some trivial things. You should make good use of women's natural advantages, so that you can turn them into soft fingers! After all, frequent quarrels will hurt the harmony, and problems will inevitably arise over time.
What about you? Talk to your husband sometime. After all, two people who love each other should communicate frequently. What's the matter? Let's open our hearts and say that we will work together for a lifetime. Everyone should talk about their own worries, so as to solve the previous bumps and reduce future quarrels.
Sister, I hope you are happy! In the future, men will coax you, depending on whether you follow or not. Occasionally coquetry, small things have passed, everyone will not hurt harmony, but also increase the sweetness between you. Sometimes women have to learn to endure unhappiness and take care of their families. After all, men are under great pressure now, so we should learn to be considerate of others in family, career, society and so on. Is it?
All right, you have to refuel!
Why do two people who clearly love each other always quarrel? It is normal and inevitable for two people who love each other to quarrel. But if you really love him, please tolerate him more. . .
Why do two people who clearly love each other always quarrel? The deeper you love each other, the more you will ask each other to do well and hope that each other will become perfect. If they don't love each other, they can ignore each other and break up. If two people who love each other want to maintain a relationship, they must share joys and sorrows.
Why do two people always quarrel when they clearly love each other? This is a normal situation for people to get along with each other.
After all, although we love each other, the necessary communication is also prone to contradictions.
Even husband and wife.
The correct way is to forgive each other.
Why do two people clearly love each other, but they often quarrel over trifles and often say goodbye? Great gods help me. Just changed QQ personality signature. As follows. If "emotion" can be controlled, it is not called "emotion". I can only give you two words: tolerance. If love can't stand small fights, small fights will eventually come to an end. If you can bear it, you must bear it. Don't say leave easily, and don't turn around and say let go easily. Small things will pass, but love is still there.
Why are two people who clearly love each other often speechless? Being speechless is determined by their personality. Both of them are people who are not good at writing. Of course, they will be speechless. Even so, if you love each other, why worry about being speechless when you are together? As long as you really love each other, it is a happy thing to remain speechless! Believe it or not, I believe it anyway!