It is of course necessary to give unconditional love to children, but parents sacrifice everything for their children. This practice does more harm than good.
As can be seen from the cover news reports, the well-known education network became popular, and the child-rearing experts "got their fathers", former corporate executives and divorced people gave up their careers to become full-time fathers, and their income sources depended on "the help of farming and fans". The child is also very competitive. From the museum built by "A Man Got His Dad" for his son Zhang Yide, you can see his son's various award certificates and trophies.
I study in an international high school in Suzhou. High school shared Zhang Yi's good results on WeChat official account. TOEFL score is 65,438+065,438+04, including full marks in reading and speaking, third prize in Duke University Mathematics Competition, top 32 in Hangzhou NHSDLC Debate Competition, 32nd in u25 Group of Skoda Cycling League Shanghai Station, final of Suzhou World Heritage Speech Competition, and MVP of football match. The university was admitted to Emory University, Changchun University, which is known as Harvard in the South.
In our opinion, Yide was a veritable classmate, with excellent grades and positive sunshine until the tragedy happened. It is reported that he committed suicide in an American university in the early morning of March 5.
Let's see. What did his father do for his son? Establish a "Growth Museum" for zhang yi Germany, which includes kindergarten, primary school, junior high school, senior high school graduation, photo taking, various academic copywriting, and five cameras that took 200,000 photos of the growth process.
Cooking for my son 10 years.
Write a book "Get His Father's Fairy Tales"
Yi de ta die farmhouse
Theme of Friends Circle: Win-Win
However, with the death of his son, the signature of WeChat was changed to "White-haired and toothless old man, always with his children". Writing here can't help but sigh!
I have to say that his father's dedication to his children is meticulous, and his great achievements have reached his father's expectations, I believe.
Once a father paid so much for his son, it seems that teaching children has become his career. As a boss, it is normal to be responsible for your career, try to run your own business according to your own ideas, and have expectations, plans and visions for your career.
To this end, there are two points worthy of our consideration.
1. If parenting is a parent's occupation, it conflicts with our most common parenting concepts, such as "cultivating responsible children" and "letting children grow naturally".
Reading is a child's business, and it should be the child's own responsibility and decision. But Yide's growth and performance are also his father's career. I really don't know how they handle this responsibility relationship.
In the media, there was a report that said, "His father unconditionally respected, recognized and accepted his lifelong decision. Even, my son wrote a letter to let his father learn to say no to himself. " In other words, it is to make a person responsible for this cause. However, the boss of this business is dad.
It's like your boss telling you that your position is very important, and your decision determines the success or failure of the company and whether everyone has food or not. Who decides, who is responsible. Imagine that your boss is not responsible for himself, but for you. Will there be a lot of pressure and anxiety?
Generally, children only need to be responsible for their studies and performance, but facing a family whose career is to educate themselves, getting a good performance is not only personal, but also a full embodiment of their father's career. Everybody says, right?
As parents, we have the responsibility to provide a suitable environment for children to grow up. But don't take parenting as a career, even if it's a stay-at-home mother. Otherwise, it will inadvertently bring invisible psychological pressure to children.
2. Taking educating children as a career, the performance of the career will inevitably directly affect the mood.
This practice is similar to those mothers who say that "the happiness of children is my only happiness". This mother not only gave up her career, but also gave up all her hobbies. Almost, children are happy when they are happy, and children are sad when they are sad.
I am also particularly disgusted with this kind of "no self" love for children. Finally, it is found that the child's performance and performance manipulate the mother's emotions, and the mother's emotions inadvertently manipulate the child, and the child's heart is not free.
A child once said, "My mother is such a person. When she gets good grades in the exam, of course she is good. When her grades were not good, I was particularly scared and blamed myself. She knew that her mother would be very sad, so she would become very anxious for no reason. She had to suppress herself strongly and deliberately refused to recognize her performance. "
So my suggestion is that parents should have their own careers or hobbies, and at the same time encourage their children to have their own hobbies, hobbies and careers like themselves, so that children can grow up and fly freely.