How many degrees is spring in this life?

in early November, I was admitted to the hospital and fell into a high-frequency coma.

after Xiao Huan arranged the company's affairs, she stayed with me at the bedside.

"Are you tired?"

when I am awake, I always ask him.

"not tired!" And he always smiles. His hair is messy, and I know that he always looks at me in the hospital except when it is necessary to go back to the company to deal with things.

We don't talk much. I always smile at him when I wake up. He just kisses me on the forehead and gently smoothes my hair. Then I continued to be in a coma, drifting with a little faint consciousness.

Many nurses in the hospital envy me, and I became the happiest dying person in their eyes, with a perfect husband and

full care. They often can't help but say to me, "Mrs. Xiao, your husband has been so kind to you, and this life has been < P > worthwhile."

But actually, I'm afraid people will say that to me, because that means no one feels sorry for my leaving. So many bystanders come and go, and they all feel that what I have gained is a kind of perfection. And this makes me feel uncomfortable. The coldness of people often scares me. If I can't die, how will all this collapse? That's terrible!

In this way, love has become a kind of confusion, especially towards the end, which is even more difficult to grasp.

No one knows. Every time I wake up, I will have different feelings, sometimes it is a kind of happiness, sometimes it is a kind of acid

Chu, and I am unwilling, helpless, reluctant to give up, and indifferent, which is a kind of indifference that is necessary for the dead, getting rid of the

narrowness of reality, smiling lightly at the world of mortals, and indifferent.

and this indifference will only disappear when I see him.

when I see him, I just want to laugh.

when he saw me, he wanted to kiss.

He thinks that the happiest thing for a man and a woman together is to kiss, help each other and comfort each other.

he said, this is a man.

one day in November, I woke up again, but my spirit was unexpectedly good. There are some rare ruddy faces. I sat on the bed

and reached out to open the window. A gust of autumn wind came in and woke Xiao Huan lying on the bed.

He suddenly looked up and saw me leaning against the bed and smiling at him.

He stayed for a long time before saying, "You're awake!"

"Well, I want to eat something!" I said.

He froze again, and I couldn't help laughing at the corners of his mouth. "Well, I'll buy it for you! What do you want to eat? "

"whatever ... just have porridge! I don't want to get oil yet. "

I leaned back and patted the empty seat by the bed. "Go back quickly!"

"hmm!" He turned and left.

What I like best is his back, which is very handsome. He is wearing that white sweater with long broken hair on his collar.

When he turns his head, he always purses his lips ...

I look at him and gently close my eyes until he comes back.

bang!

however, I didn't hurry to collect my thoughts when I heard a sudden noise outside the door. Then came the voice of

to stop the fight. "Mr. Xiao, Xiao Li is new here and not sensible, but he is also kind. Besides, this is a hospital after all, so

calm down! Never mind! "

then silence.

click, the door is open.

"what's the matter?" I sat up and came in Xiao Huan. He held his fist and sat down on the bed with a face of Qing Wu.

Xiao looked at me, suddenly grabbed my hand, grabbed it with one hand, gave it a hard push, gave it a second push, and then grabbed it with both hands, pushing it with both hands. "Does it hurt?" He asked.

I nodded. "It hurts!" Actually, I have no feeling.

"How did Dr. Li offend you?" I asked him.

he shook his head and refused to say.

"where's my porridge?" I asked again.

"Call a nurse to buy it for you!"

"..." I leaned in his arms and put a hand into his sweater, and he trembled.

"Are my hands cold?" I looked at him.

he shook his head. "It's not cold!"

My hand slipped to his waist, then I pulled it with my backhand, and turned out the inside of a corner sweater with a small piece of cloth sewn on it, which had been

curled up. I reached out my other hand and pushed the piece of cloth aside, embroidered with three words-Cheng, Si and Ying.

When he saw it, his face twitched, which should be that he felt too sad. But we have been used to this kind of acidity for a long time, so he just squinted and said nothing.

I picked up the scissors on the coffee table next to me, moved them to the cloth, clicked them, cut out my name, and wrote them in my hand

. He frowned. "Why did you cut it off?"

"The embroidery is not good!"

"give it to me!"

"No!"

"give it to me!"

"No!"

"..." He was angry.

"I'll give you something else as a souvenir!"

"what is it!" He asked.

"Let me think ..."

"More!"

"well, think about it ..." I said.

At this time, the autumn wind blew in again, and our hair fluttered together, like water.

he is addicted to me, and I will leave him.

"Dr. Li, what have I done to you? People have been taking care of me for so long. You are so angry and give me a grudge!" " When the wind blows away, I ask quietly.

"He talks nonsense!" His breath is very bad.

"what did he say?"

"He said ..." He closed his eyes. "He said that you're just a blip, and you'll go at any time. He told me not to walk around. Let the nurse go shopping

! "

I giggled. "So this is just a blip. I've always been curious, but I don't feel anything special.

Xiao Huan didn't say anything, what else could he say.

I must look ugly, but it doesn't matter. I won't be so ugly forever. Xiao is around, never leaving half a step. As long as he looks up, he will kiss me, sour and sweet, without desire.

at this time, I just feel so quiet, so relaxed and without pain. It turns out that this is a dead turn.

I really left on November 23rd, the late autumn, the season of parting.

I woke up that day when he got a call from Xiaobei. It was noon, and neither the doctor nor the nurse was there. It's just me

and him in the room. I heard him say to Xiaobei, "It's still like that ... it won't ... Ah, she's awake. Do you want to have a word with her?"

there seems to be silence.

"oh!" After hearing this, Xiao said, "All right! Whatever you want. " Then I closed the line.

"Is it Xiaobei's phone?" I asked.

"Well, she said she was having a checkup, and she'll call you back later."

I smiled and said to him, "Open the window."

He held my hand tightly, and then shouted at the door, "Nurse! Nurse! Open the window. " He's fierce,

all this time, so when the nurse on duty came in, she could only hold back her anger. She rudely pushed open the window, then gave him a hard stare and twisted her body to go out.

"What a fierce nurse!" I said.

As soon as the back of my hand was cold, he bit my hand lightly, biting rows and rows of teeth marks on it, and then replied, "I

ignored her."

I looked out of the window, and the yellow leaves were falling profusely. Suddenly, I found that passing away is also a kind of beauty, a kind of beauty that is terrible. I turned to Xiao and said, "It's my fault that I didn't study hard when I was young. When I grew up, I was a fool. I obviously have a lot to say to you, but I don't know where to start!"

he looked up and his eyes were bloodshot.

I took back the hand he held, put it in the quilt, and chose the most correct posture to lie down.

he paused. "Is it cold?" He said that he would close the window.

I closed my eyes, and I said, "When I was very young, I read a poem, but I don't remember it clearly, and I don't know who wrote it.

I was probably so tired when I said this."

I didn't know if I had finished. Anyway, I was very tired. As I spoke, I looked at him until

arrived.

at that time, I was still wondering if I had finished what I said.

But I will never know ...

If I leave you in the mountains,

I will come back,

through the tangled jungle,