1. When a mouse gets angry, everyone is a sick cat.
2. Argue with MM about whether a whale is a fish. Finally, I said, "Japanese also bring personal words", and she agreed that whales are not fish.
There is gold under a man's knee. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!
I bury corn in the soil in spring, and I will harvest a lot of corn in autumn. I bury my wife in the ground in spring, and I will be shot in autumn!
If you see a shadow in front, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind!
6. People who run around brothels are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao.
7. Listen to your words and save me ten books!
Appear at the age of 8 or 0, and 10 is going up every day. 20-year-old dream, 30-year-old effort. At the age of 40, it is basically oriented, and at the age of 50, it is full of popularity. Playing mahjong at the age of 60 and wandering around at the age of 70. 80-year-old lesbians are very common, and 90-year-old lesbians are hanging on the wall!
9. Take off my clothes, I am an animal. Put on my clothes, I am the devil wears Prada!
10, teacher, just follow the old woman! ... after a long time ... teacher, please give me a break!
1 1, "Honey, I'm ... I'm pregnant for ... three months, but don't worry, it's not yours, you're not responsible ..."
12, we have a little difference: she wants me to turn the stone into gold, and I want her to treat gold like dirt.
13, after reading the language of 10, it is better to talk about QQ for half a year.
14, lazy in bed in the morning, took out six coins from his pocket: if all six are heads, I will go to class! Think for a long time, forget it, don't take the risk. ...
15, spent 80,000 yuan to buy a pottery jar of the Western Zhou Dynasty. I went to Jianbao column for appraisal yesterday. The expert said seriously, "Which Western Zhou Dynasty did this belong to?" This is from last week! "
16, I can tolerate fake bodies, fake faces, fake breasts and fake hips! ! ! But I just can't stand that money is fake! ! ! !
17, the scholar played dead for his bosom friend, and the woman had plastic surgery for herself.
18. When I grow up, I want to marry Tang Priest. If I can play, I will. If I can't, I'll eat him.
19, two tigers are not allowed in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.
20. Don't wait until everyone says you are ugly to discover that you are really ugly.
2 1. If my friends can sell them for five dollars each, I can also make a small fortune.
22. personals: The requirements are as follows: A is alive and B is female.
23. Give me a little sunshine, and I will rot.
24, to lose weight to eat a little.
25, shake and shake, shake to Naihe Bridge.
26, fate is responsible for shuffling, but it is ourselves who play cards!
27. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!
28, you come back quickly, I can't fool alone!
29, life is Song Like Zudekou, you never know who will be unlucky next ~ ~ ~
30. Get up and cry when you fall ~ ~ ~
3 1. Besides teeth, there is love in the world.
32. A dinosaur went to the toilet when passing by Xi Jiaotong University. When she came out, she sobbed, "555, I finally don't have to worry about getting married in my life ..."
33. Life is simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy.
34. My cousin is over forty years old. Starting from the text, I failed in the exam for three years. Then I practiced martial arts, and as soon as I made a move in the martial arts field, I was fired from playing drums. Change the medicine, write the prescription, eat it, and die.
35. Asking how worried you are is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel. ...
36. My life is limited, and my food is limited ~ ~ ~
37. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!
When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. In old age, mirrors are flat.
39.are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw stones at my head!
040. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.
4 1, clap your head to make a decision, clap your chest to make sure to leave.
We walk so fast that our souls can't keep up. ...
43, don't and the earth people general knowledge ~ ~ ~
44. Girls only need to succeed once from a virgin to a woman, and boys need to be honed repeatedly from a virgin to a man!
45, come out to mix, the wife will change sooner or later!
46. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me. ...
47. Rich people are grandfathers! But there are even more people who owe money and don't pay it back!
Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.
49, why sleep for a long time, will sleep after death? ...
A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good driver.
5 1, time is the best teacher, but unfortunately-in the end, he killed all the students.
52. On a business trip to Xi 'an, a Dalian native boasted about how good Dalian was, and then said that Dalian held a grand celebration on the centenary of its founding. Then he asked the people next to him, "Are there any celebrations for the centenary of Xi 'an?" A few Xi 'an's buddies next to him were shocked. After a while, they forced out a sentence: "I remember when Xi' an established its capital 600 years ago, there was a' bonfire emperor' ..."
53. Diamonds last forever, and one goes bankrupt!
In a harmonious campus, cyclists may be doctors, while drivers of Mercedes-Benz may be logistics. ...
55, it is gold, it will always be spent; This is a mirror. It always reflects light. ...
56. The reason why my girlfriend is not a nun is that she hasn't passed CET-4 and won't accept it in buddhist nun.
57. A star can become more famous by taking off a little, but I was caught taking off everything!
58. Looking at the beautiful MM, there is no way to strike up a conversation. I picked up a brick by the side of the road and stepped forward. "Classmate, did you drop this?"
When I was a child, my dream was not to be a scientist. I fantasize that I am the owner of the landlord's house, and there are thousands of hectares of fertile land at home. I am in a daze all day, and it has nothing to do with leading a group of dog slaves to flirt with a good girl on the street. ...
60, don't talk to me about ideals, quit!
6 1, roses for you, chocolates for you, diamonds for you. You, mine!
62. The so-called surprise is that the rabbit you are waiting for comes, followed by the wolf!
63. What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish and dogs eat meat, and Altman hits small monsters!
64. Two farmers boasted, "The chickens on our farm eat all tea leaves and lay all tea eggs." "Yes, our farm gives chickens wallets to lay poached eggs."
Cockroaches are not afraid of cockroach medicine, but we can't even make vitamins!
66. If you look like a steamed stuffed bun, don't complain about the dog!
67. Men cheat, and their IQ is second only to Einstein!
68. Study hard for China! A pack of China cigarettes is a lot of money. ...
69. If you can't dress your woman in a wedding dress, don't stop you from unbuttoning her clothes!
70. Don't think that wearing dirty clothes can become a tainted witness; Don't think that wearing wooden slippers can be a witness to clogs. ...
7 1. The cause belongs to the country, the honor belongs to the unit, the achievement belongs to the leader, the salary belongs to the wife, the property belongs to the children, and the mistake is your own.
72, phoenix rebirth is nirvana, pheasant rebirth is corpse change.
If one day I become a hooligan, please tell others that I am innocent. ...
74. I not only have a car, but also rely on myself. ...
75. Women have countless QQ numbers just to flirt with a man. Men often use a QQ number to fill in all kinds of women. ...
76. I accidentally read the so-called contemporary female mate selection standard in the book: "If you have a car and a house, your parents will die." Depressed. I wrote down the imaginary criteria for choosing a spouse: "The family property is over 100 million, the beauty is the best in the world, the virtuous and gentle, and the father-in-law has terminal cancer ..."
77. Most people only do three things in their life: deceive themselves, deceive others and be bullied.
78. Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art!
In order to avoid domestic violence, I decided not to get married!
You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!
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82. An anonymous blog diary: On a certain day of a month, I got drunk and reached out to touch it-my mobile phone and chastity are here, so go to sleep!
83. A beautiful, pure, gentle, sexy and lovely virgin is like a ghost. People are talking about it, but no one has seen it with his own eyes. ...
84. I remember the primary school teacher scolding me: "I will kick you out with a slap!" " I wanted to laugh at that time, but I was afraid to laugh. Now, I dare to laugh, but I can't. ...
85. If happiness is a cloud and pain is like a star. Then my life is really cloudless and full of stars in Wan Li …
86, the effect of contraception: unsuccessful, it will become a "person."
87. Loneliness is a person's carnival, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.
88. The most tiring thing in this world is to watch your heart break and have to glue it on yourself.
89. The tragedy of life lies in: I worked hard to have a sweet dream all night, but I can't remember it when I woke up the next morning!
90. My father asked me what kind of life I wanted. I answered money and beauty, and my father punched me in the face; I answered career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively.
9 1, men are lewd, the stronger one is called a pervert, the stronger one is called a pervert, and the stronger one is called a pervert. Especially strong, it becomes a perverted pervert, lascivious to the extreme, and is called a human aesthetic artist.
92. I remember one day shortly after graduation, my girlfriend sent me a short message: "Let's break up!" Before I could feel sad, my girlfriend sent another message: "Sorry, I sent it wrong." This can be very sad. ...
93. It is forbidden to urinate here, and tools will be confiscated.
94. Looking at beautiful women in the street is appreciation if you look up, and hooligans if you look down.
95. Son of a bitch, we still have a lot to do in this life. Don't delay playing hide-and-seek with me, just jump out ~ ~ ~
96. Women like two kinds of flowers all their lives: one is to spend money, and the other is to spend as much as possible!
97, a hit-is to describe female artists. ...
98. The unfairness of this world lies in: God said, "I want light!" " "So there was this day. The beauty said, "I want a diamond ring!" " "So she got a diamond ring. The rich man said, "I want a woman!" " "So he has a woman. I said, "I want to take a shower!" " "The water was cut off!
99. I really don't understand that girls buy a lot of beautiful clothes to attract the attention of boys, but what boys want to see is girls without clothes.
100 once in a while, living in silence will feel great, and living in silence will be miserable. ...