3. Oh, my God! My clothes have lost weight again

2. Instead of sleeping in class, I get drunk on the wine table ~

1. The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear inside.

2. I am not a casual person, but I am not a casual person.

3. I am in the Jianghu, but there is no legend about me in the Jianghu ...

4. Take other people's road, leaving others with no way out.

5. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually ran naked in too many cooks for 19 years!

6. I'd rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths!

1. When the water is clear, there is no fish, and when people are mean, they are invincible.

2. The man riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be the Tang Priest; It's not necessarily an angel with wings-mom says it's a bird man.

3. Time is the same as cleavage, there is still room for a squeeze.

4. One mountain can't accommodate two tigers, unless there is a male and a female.

5. Don't be careless about animals that still die after bleeding for a week ...

6. I, a college student's life goal: peasant woman, mountain spring, a little field.

7. women must remember: eat, have fun, sleep and drink well. Once exhausted, other women spend our money, live in our room, sleep with our husbands, pick up our boyfriends and beat our babies.

1. In spring, I buried myself in the land at the entrance of the village, and in autumn, I got a lot of handsome guys. Then I changed the name of the village to "handsome boy village", and I became the village head as I wished.

2. One day, I dreamed that I had spent all my money. When I woke up, my pocket was really empty ...

3. I have achieved great success in losing weight. Look, my three chins are sharp!

4. The trouble with chocolate is that if you eat it, it will be gone.

5. Don't wait until everyone says you are ugly before you realize that you are really ugly.

6. If my friends can sell them for five dollars each, I can make a small fortune.

7. It's not terrible to have a big belly. What's terrible is that it's big and unexpected.

8. The biggest advantage of blind date is that if there are problems in marriage in the future, you can put the blame on the matchmaker.

9. Women show their generosity first, so men dare not be stingy.

1. People are born in bed, die in bed, and live and die in bed.

1. Wizard, please tell the princess that I'm still on my way through difficulties, and there are still snow-capped mountains, rivers, dragons and beautiful women ... Tell her to continue to sleep!

2. My lover is a stunning beauty, and one day she will ride a fire-breathing dinosaur to marry me. However, at the end of the story, I only saw her mount, but I didn't see its owner.

1. A tree without its skin will surely die; People are shameless and invincible in the world.

2. Do nothing without caring, and do everything without caring.

3. The real meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to have food in one place, but to have food everywhere all my life.

4. SAO belongs to SAO, and SAO has SAO chastity; Cheap is cheap, and cheap has cheap dignity.

5. If eating more fish can make people smarter, then I must have eaten at least one pair of whales ...

6. Success in life lies not in getting a good deck of cards, but in how to play bad cards well.

8. When you were born, you cried and everyone laughed; When you leave, you smile and everyone cries.

1. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them find it.

11. In a few decades, we'll meet again, send them to the crematorium, burn them all to ashes, one for you, one for me, no one knows anyone, and send them all to the countryside to make fertilizer.

2. An expert looks at the doorway, while a layman looks at the sidewalk.

3. No roadside wildflowers, step on them!

4. I met a MM signature: I can't play chess and paint, and I'm tired of washing and cooking.

5. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

6. I met an old Shaanxi personality signature: ugly women make more trouble, and black buns make more food.

7. I met our teacher's signature: I tell you that the teacher is very angry now, and the consequences are very serious

8. I met a writer's signature: it may seem like it, but it may not be.

9. I met a lover's signature: I don't have to count what I said, and the person I like has to change it every day.

1. When I meet the sleeping king in my class, I have three full meals in the morning, three full meals in the evening and six full meals before and after meals.

1. log off at midnight on time! Otherwise, the princess will become Cinderella again.

2. Hello, is this China Mobile? This is China Unicom. My PHS is broken. Can you send China Tietong to fix it?

3. I am an academician of the Institute of Advanced Diving, Chinese Academy of Sciences. I won the Nobel Prize for Long-term Drop-off and the Oscar Prize for Lifelong Stealth ...

4. that we wished to fly in heaven, two birds with the wings of one is willing to be a pig in the same circle!

7. Split up-do you want a piece?

8. God said, "Let there be light." I said, "No!" So we had the night.

9. I pinned KONKA's TV remote control on my waistband and pretended to buy a new NOKIA mobile phone.

1. I think I would like the morning if it came later.

2. Life is so fucking fun, because life always fucking plays with me.

3. Buddha said, "It took 5 times to look back in the past life to get a brush in this life." I would rather pass by once in the world for 5 times in this life.

4. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them.

5. I'm an actor, and my eyes turn round at the sight of beautiful MM ...

6. Angels can fly because they look down on themselves ...

7. I want to fall in love early, but it's too late ...

9. I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

1. Don't speak English in front of me in the future, OK?

1. Get out of here as far as your thoughts are!

2. Rogues are not terrible, but they are afraid of being educated.

3. Please respect yourself, my little girl only sells herself, not entertainers.

4. You can't satisfy everyone, because not all people are human!

7. Go the way of NB and let SB talk!

8. Water load