1. I was perming my hair in the house, and he was shouting about perming outside.

2. He is a funny waste during the day and a depressive monster at night.

3. Teacher, just tell the parent you like and don’t hold parent-teacher meetings all the time.

4. 70% busy, 70% busy, and finally make up 10% of this life.

5. Every time after an argument with others, I always feel that I did not perform well. Every time I feel that if I organize my words well and argue again, I will definitely win.

6. If you don’t buy me snacks, don’t bother me. Your baby’s time is precious.

7. I drank too much last night and saw a man in a daze. I thought he was so handsome that I envied him. I couldn’t help but go up and punch him. When I woke up in the morning, I found that my hand had broken the mirror. Also broken.

8. With a hot heart, you can change the outcome. With money, you can change this result at will.

9. Technology has really advanced. Now I can be so angry at fools thousands of miles away that my brain hurts without leaving home.

10. Freedom is not to rely on others for charity, but to be pursued by oneself.

11. You scold me now because you don’t understand me yet. When you understand me in the future, you will definitely hit me.

12. First love is infinitely better, but it is too late.

13. Many people say that I am beautiful and cute. I really want to go over and slap her a few times. It is as if no one knows and I want you to tell me everywhere!

14. At parties, everyone likes to take photos with you. This does not mean that you are popular. It may also be because... you have a big face.

15. If a man is single for too long, everyone will look like Diao Chan; if a woman is single for too long, everyone will look like a scumbag.

16. Every time I see someone talking about breaking up in Space, I feel so sad! I couldn't do anything but put down my phone and closed the door, hiding under the quilt and smiling happily.

17. Whenever my friends around me are unhappy, I would advise them to look further ahead and let bygones be bygones. But they were always unwilling to give in and kept urging me: Pay back the money quickly!

18. Since the anonymous messaging function became available, I found that a lot of boys started confessing their feelings to each other.

19. You can’t have your cake and eat it too, but you can have both poverty and ugliness, and fat and short always go hand in hand.

20. Forgive me for dressing up, holding a pen in hand, furrowing my brows, and writing furiously, just to help the top students come to the bottom.

21. I heard that there is radiation when sleeping with a mobile phone next to the pillow. I was so scared that I got up and threw the pillow away. I was scared to death.

22. I can stay up late with you, and I will also advise you to go to bed early, but the best situation is for us to sleep together!

23. Yesterday, 5 people were chasing me at the same time. When I turned around, I saw a set of qwerdf. The second consecutive damage exploded instantly to complete 5 kills. I wanted to ask, who else is there?

24. Learning Buddhism is about explaining one’s own conscience, not doing it for others to see.

25. Now I believe in letting nature take its course. Don't say I don't care, even if I do, so what. I just see everything more broadly.

26. Create a group for those friends who are online on iPhone, so you don’t have to worry about borrowing money.

27. Boys who play football or basketball are handsome. They are all bullshit. As long as you are handsome, you are handsome even when you play shuttlecock. If you are ugly, even when you play golf, you are just shoveling shit. .

28. People with deep karma will look at other people’s faults and shortcomings all day long. People who truly practice will never look at other people’s faults and shortcomings.

29. Do you believe that there is always a girl who comes to this world just to torture you?

30. The difference between open book and closed book is that one is copying at the top and the other is copying at the bottom.

31. It doesn’t matter if your head is empty, the key is not to get wet.

32. Spit it out! Spit out the drink you drank!

33. Falling in love with an immature man is like raising a son. You teach him how to love someone, and in the end you will find that you have a daughter-in-law.

34. Only a fat body can carry my heavy soul.

35. The so-called single bed and double bed have nothing to do with the width. If there is someone on the pillow, it is a double bed. No matter how big the bed is for a single person, it is also a single bed.

36. If marriage is the tomb of love, celebrating a wedding anniversary once a year is like "sweeping the tomb".

37. No matter how difficult or dangerous it is, just treat yourself as a fool. No matter how difficult or dangerous it is, treat yourself as a two-skinned person.

38. Time is for wandering, the body is for loving, life is for forgetting, and the soul is for singing.

39. Haha! My nightmare is finally over and I never have to sit with you again!

40. I am asking for a friend. There is a girl who has gained weight recently, but she is very kind. Can I order takeout?

41. People who cannot make time for love will sooner or later make time for blind dates.

42. People today call their sons little bastards and their pet dogs son.

43. Sometimes when you are about to do something consciously, someone suddenly urges you to do it, and you instantly don’t want to do it.

44. Time flies so fast, it’s getting dark as soon as I wake up.

45. Remember those people who chat with you until late at night, it is because of them that you have such heavy dark circles and bad skin.

46. My mother asked me why I didn’t tidy up my room. It’s a joke, I’m a messy lady.

47. Don’t be too obedient. You can refuse things you don’t want to do. Don’t force things you can’t do. Pretend you didn’t hear if you don’t like it. Life is not about pleasing others, but about being kind to yourself.

48. I read a lot on the Internet about the disadvantages of staying up late. The biggest change for me is that I changed from staying up late happily to staying up late with fear.

49. If you don’t want to eat coriander, send your cutest clerk over!

50. I was bored and sang to the computer in fear. After I finished singing, the computer suddenly crashed.

51. I don’t know much about music, so I am sometimes unreliable and sometimes out of tune.

52. After staying among the nervous people for a long time, I found that I am normal.

53. I will never judge someone by their appearance, but I will definitely marry someone based on their appearance.

54. If a man doesn’t help you put on your wedding dress, give him a cassock.

55. The head teacher scolded us yesterday, saying that everyone in our class is ugly. Then she said today that students will be as good as teachers.

56. Your complex facial features cannot hide your simple IQ.

57. If sleeping is to recharge the human body, then I want to say that I have never been full.

58. I suggest you never go into business after graduation! You don't know how to count at all! Your math score has never exceeded 20 points. You can say that 3+7 is equal to 21!

59. Look, the rainbow over there is looking down on me, because I am brighter than it.

60. Violence cannot solve problems. Come on, let’s sit down calmly and you praise me for an hour.

61. If there is an afterlife, I must become a nerve, because when I leave, you will be brain-dead.

62. I wish that when I received the red envelope, I would open it and it would say another one.

63. You can do many things when you get up in the morning, such as: sleep again.

64. Go away! Danger! I feel like I'm going to explode!

65. Girls with thick legs envy all kinds of thin legs, regardless of whether he is a boy or a girl.

66. Do your homework, do it all night, sit all night, and do one page.

67. Many people have jumped off buildings recently, please be careful not to get hit.

68. No matter how smart a woman is, she is confused about her appearance, and no matter how stupid a man is, he is sober when it comes to a woman’s appearance.

69. I never make typos, but I always make mistakes.

70. You have no right to dislike my lifestyle, but you have the right to gouge your own eyes.

71. You can’t wake up someone who doesn’t reply to your message, but a red envelope can.

72. The Sun Tzu who has been pretending all day is the kind who doesn’t know the art of war.

73. Bad guys need strength, and scum need taste.

74. I warn you, don’t smile playfully at me when I am angry. When you smile, I will laugh too. This will make me look very shameless.

75. As an optimistic person in the eyes of others, it is probably because you are hanging and about to die, and everyone thinks you are swinging on a swing.

76. What’s wrong with him ignoring you? Don’t worry, there’s still me, and I’m too lazy to care about you.

77. I bought a razor online, but my hands were shaking and numb before I finished shaving.

78. When I have money, I will buy two lollipops, one for you to watch me eat, and the other for you to watch.

79. If you like a handsome guy, please don’t take immediate measures. You should get to know him slowly first. Soon, you will find that his friends are more handsome.

80. The so-called "extremely poor households" actually have two types: extremely poor due to lack of money, extremely poor due to lack of sleep, and those who will eventually lose their talents.