The university lifts your pants and says to you coldly, let's go and leave your youth behind! At this time, you will feel that the university fucked you, not that you went to college. —— Sender: Crab Time+February 3rd, 2005.

I curled up in the upper bunk, reading this message while drinking water, and kept silent. And send it to everyone in groups.

In 2005, I lost my first summer as an adult. On the tail of that summer, I dragged a 43cm×50cm suitcase and carried a 60-liter schoolbag, and went to school alone in the north like a migrant worker. The train arrived in the northern city at three o'clock in the morning without me. Nobody picked me up, and I couldn't find a car. So I was depressed and sat on the floor of the ticket hall waiting for the morning, waiting for the first bus at five o'clock to pick up the new students.

The mobile phone alarm clock woke me up, so I stood up and dragged my luggage out. I was blindfolded by the bright sky by the door. I didn't expect it to dawn here so early, but when I realized it, I remembered that there was a time difference of nearly ten longitudes between me and my hometown.

On the bus, I sat next to a freshman from another department. Her slender soft hair covers half of her face. When the bus gradually moved away from the city and went deep into a remote suburb along a brown river with an unpleasant smell of chemicals, she began to sob and her shoulders stirred up like a deer looking for food. I asked her, "Classmate, are you all right?"

She kept silent.

A week after the start of school, I heard that a girl from the next department came to our school by three points in the first year and two points in the second year. On the school bus that day, the road became more and more desolate, and she came here crying all the way.

Are we at the station yet? Let us know that we are safe when we arrive. -Sender: Mom Time 2005. 9. 1

Now I am living in a dormitory with six people with a group of strange freshmen. The ground is covered with a thick layer of dust and a soft tangled hair. All kinds of fancy food in plastic bags are filled with crappy wooden tables and our stomachs. The garbage basket is always full. If there is no aunt who speaks Tianjin dialect to reprimand, then no one will ever dump it. The water room is full of girls, who wash clothes endlessly every day. The girl opposite me bought a tennis racket for more than 1700 (I don't know if Nadal's autograph is on it), but she was reluctant to donate a penny to the charity activities called by the classmates downstairs. In fact, she is a kind child. She is so kind that she often blames me and says, "Why don't you invite me to take a bath?" ? Let me sit and wait for you not to wash. "Or another girl in our dormitory often says," Why are you looking at Shu Gao? No, then I can't study English. I want to study Shu Gao, too! ! "Then you hear the following desperate dialogue-

A: Huh? Why is Paradise Lost on our extracurricular reading list?

Paradise lost? I have a CD-ROM ... Hey, we should also watch Pu Cunxin's play. ...

No, it is said that it was written by a man named Milton.

B: We also have Mi in China. ...

No, the list says an ancient Englishman. ...

Then I was speechless, watching this group of girls struggle with makeup for an hour before class, buying melon seeds after class and concentrating on it all night, or fighting for landlords while eating.

On the day of the first snow in the north, odds and ends of garbage and non-garbage in the dormitory occupied all the space. I'm going out to have a German class that day. There were so many snowflakes scattered like free money day after day, and the strong wind tore my coat. I wrapped my clothes and felt breathless. In such a desolate and vast campus, I only heard my panting voice. I stopped and looked at the scattered figures around me running wildly on the vast tracts of weeds and saline-alkali land in the campus. I thought of1February in senior three, and lived in Bauhinia apartment when I took the independent entrance examination in Tsinghua. It was sad to see the winter in the north, with clear skies and snow-covered Wan Li. The tall poplars have faded away, leaving only the white snow on the skeleton of a tree, but it is hard work. The lotus pond in Tsinghua campus is completely frozen, and many children skate on it. Some old people and flocks of pigeons stayed in the Woods in front of the I-shaped hall. The city light rail is just outside the building, and the sound of the rails can be heard every night. The cold air is exciting. I fell in love with the winter in the north at first sight. Then I said to myself, I must come here.

Then in this summer of graduation, all the waiting has seen the result, and all the hopes have seen the reality. I can't go there after all.

I only remember receiving a phone call from teacher Tsinghua this morning, asking about the exam results and volunteers. I said to him, I'm sorry, it's really a pity. He also said, yeah, it's a pity.

This is the story of this summer. Now, I just stand in the snow and tell myself again and again that I can never fall in love with my imagination and memories again.

It snowed for the first time in Beijing. Oh, and you? Sender: White Snake Time 2005. 1 1.29 I never consider the time difference when I study in the UK, but I just like to call me after class at around six o'clock to brag. I remember when I was in senior three. I reflexively do math problems alone under the desk lamp. When I was most obsessed, I was suddenly scared by the midnight bell. At one o'clock in the middle of the night, the chopping board called me again. I chatted with her in a daze. Later, the phone suddenly ran out of power and the sound came to an abrupt end. After that, I was particularly awake and knew that I couldn't sleep anymore, so I got up and wrote an email to my high school classmates. I just opened my mailbox and saw ten unread emails (not spam). I was so vain at once. I opened it at one o'clock, and saw an email sent to me by Rose from Hong Kong Baptist University, and a photo of their school uploaded to me by a boring person from Hong Kong University of Science and Technology. Stuffy egg said that she was standing on the Linking bridge of the Hong Kong branch, and staggered to see the handsome guy in swimming trunks who had just returned to the dormitory from the seaside. In the elevator, she met a group of China classmates who looked very authentic and spoke fluent English. In the following email, my apprentice who is going to study in Paris next year sent me an e-card; At the Central Academy of Drama, I just texted and scolded me for not dumping her. A Ding from Peking University told me that a poster of free visit to fassbinder movies was posted downstairs in her dormitory. The white snake in Tsinghua said to me, Sister, if you see the report of long-distance running on TV tomorrow morning, you must find the man in the yellow vest ... The more I watch it, the more lonely I am.

I feel that I have left that world. I am studying the most worthless English major in a desolate city in the north with a group of people who can't even bite the th pronunciation and want to pronounce it [S]. I think it is as shameless to say such a thing as to show off in front of poor students with a racket with a thousand dollars, but what is even more shameless is that the desolation in my heart is better than shameless.

There are egrets on the lake in our school. —— Sender: Quhe time in 2005. 1 1. 1

Before winter came and summer passed, I began to skip classes on a large scale. All public required courses-such as mathematics, Chinese, politics and economics. A person turns on the computer in the dormitory to make money, but he is constipated and can't write anything. In this case, my pet phrase is "not depressed" I often don't want to go to class for half a day, so I rode my bike to the park next to the school. In autumn, there is an overwhelming blue sky in the north, which flows out of the eyes like subtitles of European movies. The wind is raging at any time. The sun is shining, sunny and cold. This is the so-called crisp autumn air that I never expected in the south. Take a bike walk by the lake. Parked in a secluded place, leaned against the car and looked at the water that was blown golden by the strong wind indifferently. I feel my skin has been touched by dry air. The lips split quickly. A smile will split the blood. My ears are full of my favorite band in high school: Russian Lube. Those low voices that don't seem to know how to cry sing Russian that I don't understand, but the melody is as kind as the lost time. The swaying accordion and the beating rhythm of the smile unplugged the memory.

I didn't leave until the cobalt blue in the sky gradually oozed the warm color of the sunset glow. With the wind that accompanied me all afternoon, I returned to the dormitory. When I was a freshman, I spent many afternoons like this. Such an attitude towards life makes people feel guilty. Because I read in that super-best-selling philosophy book with a green cover that laziness is the ideal of genius.

And those high school days when I was busy listening to lectures and doing problems day after day are really gone forever. Stay in the same cloudy day in the south forever.

Have a glass of milk and have a good sleep. Don't think about anything. I'm sure I'll have a good time tomorrow. Come on! Good luck! —— Sender: Teacher Li on June 7, 2005

During that time, if I didn't go to the lake, I would just hang around in the dormitory. With me is my lower berth. I call her a cow. She has an extremely precious rice cooker, and then she is always keen to go to the canteen to buy fresh eggs, cabbage, noodles and bagged fresh soup base to cook noodles. Even in our small dormitory, which is as messy as the bottom of a cargo ship, she always wears a satisfied and naive smile when she sits on a small bench and waits for the water in the pot to boil. Before putting the seasoning, I used to take the food out of the pot with a spoon and taste it carefully to measure the amount of seasoning. Curl your hair clearly, revealing a small piece of transparent and smooth skin on your neck. I like to pinch out some food for me to taste before it comes out of the pot. She has a sense of happiness in details. When I am writing in the house, I can often smell cooking and dissolve it in my spare time all afternoon. She told me that if someone said that the noodles she cooked were delicious, she would be too excited to sleep all night.

I looked at her happy appearance, speechless with pity and envy.

Counting the days, there are more than 300 days left, and we can send them freely: Guar time in 2004. 6. 12.

Another idle afternoon passed that day. At the beginning of the Lantern Festival, I took a bus with a cow and went to the city center to see a movie through the endless suburban wilderness. I listened to a pirated CD of Lao Lang in the car. It was given to me by a high school best friend. I like the "escape" in it, but this three-dollar cam- it's really bad, and the song is only half finished. Every time I hear the climax, it will come to an abrupt end, which is really painful. But then I got used to this endless song, just like Venus shouldn't have complete arms.

Every time I take this bus, the two-hour journey always makes me extremely impatient. Sleepily, I leaned my head against the glass window and looked out of the window. In the evening in the north, vilen was sadly filled with thick twilight. The dying moon hung high, and the lights on the road flashed like daggers, one by one across the retina. Watching it for a long time makes people feel that life is meaningless. So I closed my eyes and imagined myself sitting on the tattered last bus with a 60-liter mountaineering bag on my back, just like in the movie.

When I was about to fall asleep, the cow said, I will leave after graduation. I asked her where she was going. At that time, she leaned her head against the bus window and looked very tired. She didn't answer me at last. This silent game will disappear. The street view passing by outside is very quiet. Shovel is as irresistible as fate. At that moment, she gently grabbed my hand.

The movie "Midnight" is half price-if Chen Kexin likes it. I once again saw Takeshi Kaneshiro's handsome face with a knife and axe. For ten years, this man has returned to the dirty basement where they live every year, waiting for his lover to come back. Before leaving empty-handed, he recorded his voice with a broken machine. In this way, I heard his broken and stubborn voice squeeze out from between the rotating gears of the tape recorder:

199565438+1October19: You didn't come back. Eric ... Where the hell are you? Come back. I thought it would be better in a year ... but I'm different ... time will pass slowly.

1996 165438+ October: two years. Two years. Can you come back once? Just come back again ... I promise I won't keep you ... You can go ... OK. ...

1997 65438+ February: I feel much better. I didn't feel so bad when I came back this year ... Looking at this bed ... I did have some memories ... but it didn't hurt so much. I sat down ... and smiled. It's not too hard to forget you.

1998101October 3rd: Are you dead? ! Are you dead? Why don't you come back for vanity ... I don't want to see you again! Go to hell! ! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! !

1999 12.30: I became an actor, too, hehe. Really, don't laugh at me. Maybe one day, we will cooperate in a play. ...

200165438+February 6th: Are you all right? It is snowing heavily outside.

……

In 2005, he came back with his lover, both of whom are super celebrities in the entertainment circle. They looked at each other and stood at the entrance of the underground warehouse. They found that they no longer had young faces. They are no longer young people hiding here because they can't afford the rent.

This scene suddenly reminds me of the heartbeats of Takeshi Kaneshiro and Liang Yongqi, which I saw a long time ago. In the movie, two children can stand and hug each other to keep warm and spend the night at the bus stop. The teenager's long hair covered his eyes. I asked Niu if you had seen Heartbeat, and she shook her head at me in the dark.

I don't speak, hold her hand tightly.

Sadness is negligible.

Happiness is integrable

From today to the infinite day (left closed and right opened)

Happiness is persistent.

The definition and value range of our will is R.

∴ The expected derivative must exist and always be greater than zero.

The function image of good luck is strictly simple and unbounded with the increase of abscissa time.

All difficulties are solved by real numbers △ > 0.

The credit in the wallet is a geometric series with the first term greater than zero and the common ratio greater than one.

All in all,

Youth has no limits.

—— Sender: 2004.1April 4.

I am nineteen years old this year. Freshman, just a college student, signing in everywhere with various cards. The meaning of living in this university is to put a red seal on those pieces of paper to prove that you still exist in this world, which is doubtful. I ate a lot when I skipped class in the dormitory, and my head couldn't think because of insufficient blood supply.

On my birthday, my friends in the dormitory bought me a cake, and Niu cooked a pot of noodles as longevity noodles. Everyone opened a bottle of Erguotou, seven or eight bottles of beer, and threw cakes at others' heads, making chickens fly and dogs jump. Later, I don't know who suddenly said, alas, didn't we let the birthday girl make a wish? ! Then everyone looked at the cake that had fallen apart. I'm sorry to turn off the lights and let me make a wish. But when I close my eyes, I find that I have no desire.

I thought about it for a long time before boarding the plane today, and suddenly I found that I was so afraid that you would leave. —— Sender: March 2004 19.

After the first snow, the lake near the school began to freeze. Every time you walk through the fence, you will see the wind passing through the vast gray ice and returning to the sky where it has lived for a long time. This used to be the long-awaited snow and ice in the north, but when I really stood alone in the open playground, blowing the cold wind, I deeply thought about my independence. I gradually got used to going to the classroom, attending classes, eating, taking a bath and borrowing books from the library alone. When you can't sleep at night, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the phone call from the chopping board, there is no concept of time difference. It seems that life is frozen like that lake.

On the solstice of winter, everyone eats jiaozi, but the cow stubbornly cooks noodles with her baby rice cooker. So I finally ate noodles with her and killed two-thirds of the pot. After eating, I accompanied the cow to wash the dishes and brush the pot. In the water room, she said to me, you may be eating my noodles for the last time. I stared at her profile and even forgot to ask her why. She bit her lip and turned away, patting the back of my hand in dismay at the moment of leaving. I think her hands are cold. Just like that lake.

Remember, we are all at a new starting point now. I will miss you. -Sender: Qiu Qiu time in 2003. 9. 1.