Funny mood phrase 1

If you marry, don't marry anyone else, and don't marry me

Compared with me, you want to piss yourself off.

at the beginning, it was amazing and complete, only for the world to see less.

I don't want to forget you, even if I can, I'd rather remember all my sadness.

I have a small wish, that is, your love songs will always be like games, and every sentence will be played. Unfortunately, it is too virtual

a lie is just a lie that people believe

In love, there are only people who are willing to be fools, and there are no real fools.

Use some beautiful words to describe our past memories.

Memory is just an outdated beauty, and expectation is just a fake happiness.

How can I work hard to forget those unforgettable memories?

Whether you are sad or not is all your own, and whether you are sad or not is all a heart.

I am waiting for someone who can put an end to my lonely story.

The world just can't do without Grandpa Mao.

If I can't die in her heart, then let her die in my hands.

Kindergartens are funny now, and all the pinyin books are printed with armored warriors.

you play with your customization and I play with my formatting.

my thoughts break free at night to commemorate my love, only blaming time for making the most beautiful mistake.

The time that I was immersed in your skirt is the beauty that I was crazy about.

what you can get is never the best, and the best you can never get.

How can a broken heart not hurt?

The future is like a fog. Everything is gloomy. I dare not expect it, but I am still confused.

It takes courage to miss someone without words.

we will never be as irreplaceable as before.

cheat your parents at home and cheat your friends when you go out

Life can't be like cooking, only when all the ingredients are ready.

Animals have a little pity, but I don't have any, so I'm not an animal.

Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art! Funny mood phrases 2

1. One day, Tom was sitting on a train to Washington, and he was the only one in the carriage. When the train stopped at a station, the door opened, and a big man came up and threatened Tom with a knife: "Money or death?" Tom was so scared that he replied, "I don't have any money on me." The big fellow asked savagely, "Then why are you trembling?" Tom said sadly, "I thought you were a ticket inspector."

2. After eating in a restaurant for a long time, the last two dishes finally arrived. We were starving, so I called: waiter! A portion of rice! After waiting for five minutes, rice came up. I told everyone: Maybe this is the fastest service in this restaurant ... The waiter smiled and said: Of course not! Second brother asked: Is there any service faster than rice? Tell me what it is. Two words popped up in the waiter's mouth: pay the bill!

3. Wife: "Husband, I want to buy a dress. I haven't bought a dress for a long time!" Husband: "Wife, look, my ring is a little small, and it's a little tight!" " Wife: "What, do you want to change your ring?" Husband: "no, I'm a little short of money!" " Wife: "..."

4. Xiao Li chased your beauty, but the beauty refused. The beauty said, "We have nothing in common, which is inappropriate." Xiao Li said, "Is your father older than you?" Beauty: "Nonsense" Xiao Li: "Your father is older than you, and my father is older than me. Isn't this the same?"

5. In the interrogation room of the police station, the policeman asked, "Why did you rob Xiaomi's mobile phone? Are you a loyal fan of Xiaomi's mobile phone?" A: "No, because they all say that Xiaomi's mobile phone is difficult to grab, I don't believe it."

6. Teacher: Xiao Ming, tell me about your understanding of home. Xiaoming: Home is a place that I really want to go back after a day's absence. Teacher: Well, very good! ! ! Xiao Ming: I haven't finished yet, teacher. Home is still a place where I really want to leave after going back for 5 minutes. Teacher: Why? Xiao Ming: because I have finished eating ......

7. Son: Dad, I don't want to go to school. The world is so big, I want to go out and see it! Dad: Sure, Beijing, Shanghai ... take your pick! Son: Really, it's very kind of dad ... Dad: What's good? Say, where to go first? Son: Let's go to Beijing first ... Dad: OK, I'll call your uncle right away ... Son: Is your uncle in Beijing? Dad: Yes, he is engaged in construction in Beijing, which just needs a muddy one ... Son: Ah ... Dad, I went to school ...

8. Teacher: Xiao Ming, why were you so full of energy just now, and now you are depressed? Xiaoming: I'm so disappointed! Teacher: Why? I don't speak well? Xiao Ming: As soon as you started class, you said that this class was about' free nude', and I was so excited that I was completely sleepy. Who knew that it was' free fall' after listening for a long time! Alas, teacher: You, get out!

9. My wife is addicted to cooking, and she learned to cook her husband's favorite fish head with chopped pepper. Husband smacked his mouth after tasting it: what a good thing, what a good thing! Wife is happy: since it's better, eat more. Husband: What a pity! You ruined it all.

1. A friend of Yi Erhuo just entered a company and went to the company canteen for lunch. When he met the leader, he hurried over to pay tribute. When the leader finished eating, he quickly took out the toilet paper from his pocket to wipe his mouth. The leader praised him for his care in public. The two goods were modest, and as a result, he said nervously, "Oh, I usually don't bring paper, so I put my trouser pocket in the morning before I use it!" The leader's face obviously twitched a few times, and then my friend lost his job.

11. I have a problem. I drink too much when I go out for entertainment. When I get home, I go to work, clean up, and then I fall asleep. When I woke up, I didn't know I cleaned it myself. Every time I say to my daughter-in-law, "You are really capable of keeping the house clean!" " It happened once that I came back from drinking. I don't know why I fell asleep after cleaning up a room. When I woke up, I found that only one room was clean. I said to my daughter-in-law, "If you want to clean up the house, clean it up. Don't make it messy!" When the daughter-in-law heard this, she was unhappy: "You are quite a gentleman who cares about everything! You don't have to worry about anything in the future, you only care about drinking! "

12. The bus was too crowded, so my colleagues and I managed to squeeze out a place. I took out my mobile phone and opened qq, and began to steal vegetables. After several stops, I was about to arrive at the station. My colleague stabbed me: "Come on, it will arrive at the station soon!" Maybe it was a little loud. I found all the people in the car staring at us. I smiled and took out my mobile phone and shook it in front of them. "I'm stealing food!" " However, a white-haired old man still moved the basket he was carrying back and said solemnly, "Stealing things is not all about stealing from small places!" "

13. Wife: "Husband, you don't love me anymore." Husband: "How?" The wife took a photo of her husband and a girl and asked, "Since this girl appeared, you are not as good to me as before." Husband: "Stop it!" Wife: "I'm not making trouble. You always buy her food and clothes, and ... you often go to the bathroom to kiss her secretly at night. Don't think I don't know." Husband: "Nimei, even you are jealous of your daughter!" "

14. Ruth lies in bed and asks Jack to draw a sketch for her. Two hours passed, and Ruth said discontentedly, "Honey, what's the matter? Didn't you say it would take only one hour to draw?" Jack said, "I thought so, but as soon as you take off your clothes, I think it will take three hours to finish painting!" " Ruth asked curiously, "Why?" Jack said with a bitter face, "You have so much fat on you that it takes a lot of effort to draw!"

15. police officer: tell me about the accident. Pedestrian: I walked on the road well, and the car opposite came. I hid left and right, and it followed me left and right. I turned wherever I hid, and then I hit it. Driver: But my car has been parked there for half an hour.

16. The leader's house was stolen, and the police quickly solved the case and arrested the thief for questioning: What did you steal? Thief: One piece of platinum, 2, US dollars, four diamonds ... Before the police finished, they slapped the thief and said that the thief was making up and bragging. The leader said that he only lost 1, yuan.

17. When a friend became a father, he went to the hospital and picked up the child and was happy. The doctor came over and said, "What are you laughing at? This child is not yours. " My friend's daughter-in-law immediately cried and said, "I'm sorry, I drank too much that night." The friend was dumbfounded. When the doctor saw it, he immediately picked up the clinical child and said, "Sorry, this child is yours.

18. Tang Priest: "Wukong, you trampled an ant to death again. You can't kill a monk!" Wukong: "Master, if you walk, you will step on it." Tang Priest: "Didn't you see the teacher riding a horse?"

19. On my birthday, I got a long, beautifully wrapped gift from my wife. After opening, it is fresh and lovely, an expensive plastic doll. Send a small question: "Do you like it?" I said, "Of course! Thank you for sending me a wife! " Send a novel: "I am interesting enough!" "Be loved! That's interesting! " I said with a smile! "Then you should do something interesting. Now that you have a daughter-in-law, you should stop pursuing Lili and let me pursue it alone!" "what-what ---”

2, the fat woman is desperately eating. Mother scolded: "You are so fat that no man will approach you, and you still eat like this!" " The fat woman said, "That's because I'm not fat enough, so men won't approach me!" " Mother: "What fallacy is this?" Fat woman: "If I were as fat as the earth and gravity was strong enough, men would not only approach me, but also revolve around me."

21. "You never give up your seat by bus, never wash dishes when you eat, never be out of date when you go to work, and never pay for your play. What advantages do you think you can have? " "This shows that I am a very persistent person"

22. My husband graduated with a major in home appliance repair, and his skills are superb. He can basically repair all the home appliances. This morning, when my husband repaired his daughter's "lost voice" for a long time, her daughter gave him a thumbs-up in worship: "Wow, dad is so amazing, he can fix everything, but why can't mom?" I was so embarrassed that my smug husband took a look at me and quickly said calmly to his daughter, "Your mother is worse, she will repair me."

23. My wife and I have been married for more than ten years, and the romantic age has been very long! This morning, I suddenly said to my wife on a whim: Let's talk about love again and pretend you don't know me. My wife said,' OK, I'll say to her,' Hi! Little bitch, who knows that this product will slap me when it raises its hand, and it's still cursing: I'm tired of harassing my aunt!

24. A very fat woman got on the bus and couldn't find a seat, so she had to pull the pull ring on the bus. Unexpectedly, the driver braked suddenly, and the fat woman pulled the pull ring off and jumped in front of the driver. The driver looked at her and the pull ring in her hand and said angrily, There are three sets, so send the driver an autographed photo!

25. It's not the first time to kiss my girlfriend. This time, she even said that she felt the first kiss. I said excitedly, "I can still give you the first kiss after such a long time!" She said disdainfully, "Yes, you always make me feel kissed by an animal." I

26. When I was in high school, everyone liked to eat snacks and chatter in Chinese class. The teacher was very angry and stared at us, but there was nothing to do. Later, I changed to a Chinese teacher, who was very real and never opposed our eating snacks, but everyone gradually gave up this bad habit. Because every time someone eats a snack, the teacher will come and eat with him.

27. Once on a plane, the lady by the window needed to go to the toilet and needed me to stand up and give up her seat. I was afraid that she was in a hurry, so she unfastened her seat belt and suddenly stood up. However, I didn't get up, as if there was a powerful force stopping me. I resisted it, resisted it, resisted it, but was firmly locked in my seat. What's going on? I looked down, and the seat belt was tightly tied to my body. What I untied was actually a waistband. Funny mood phrase 3

If you want to live in my heart, please behave yourself.

that so-called strength is nothing more than that meaningless bravado.

my bright youth is wandering in your palm.

tell me when you want to get married, and I'll marry you.

can you just pretend that I'm the only one in your heart, and everyone else will get out?

All that's left is mutual perfunctory and deception.

faint, I'm just used to habits I'm not used to.

No one in this world is qualified to be with you except me.

a rain, an umbrella, a street, a person walking.

One person landed alone, leaving only loneliness

I'm determined to give you happiness, and no one wants to stop you.

you wait, one day, you will be my grandson's grandmother!

don't be a fool and cheat me with your so-called oath.

I am a little happy when I miss you, and I am a little sad when I am happy.

If life is just like the first time, then it is normal to know only the Tao.

the only thing I have to do is to keep my place and love you only.

Lie prone on the table and gradually draw the outline of happiness.

No one can control my happiness, because I want to live.

I deleted the cut, and let time gradually wear away my memories.

Looking at the sky quietly, just looking for that so-called smile.

I like you so much that you will die if you like me.

You see, I will be braver in a strange future.

Meat is an overgrown thing, and breasts are a shriveled thing.

As long as you live better than me and die earlier than me.

you give it to my lover, and I'll give it to you.

I want to ascend to heaven, but I can't find the elevator.

Who is urging me to grow up and lose my way?

the whole world can see the sadness in my eyes, except you.

I can't hold your hand, so I choose to let go.

I have been silent for too long, but I can't find a reason to be sad.

we are strangers to each other before we get used to it.

no oath, no promise, so it doesn't matter.

love is just a bubble, so fragile that it will break at the touch.

looking up at the sky at 45, the tears really won't fall.

I just think like and love are different, that's all.

knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.

I miss you so much that I love you enough to kill you.

Give me a woman and I can create an orc.

one day, the phone was walking on the road, and suddenly it hung up!

pants don't know what dependence is until they lose their belts.

I am a little bee, and I am busy picking flowers all day long.

In a word, I just want to hold your hand and go on.

I really don't know what I'm waiting for. It's obvious that the ending is clear.

Life is not over without lovelorn.