1. After living for more than 20 years, I have been unable to do anything for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about this, I feel heartbroken.

2. Think about the salary comparison, forget it, I don’t want to live anymore.

3. The so-called simplicity, those with wings are angels, and those without wings are idiots.

4. Rather than messing around, rather than enduring, it is better to be two or to soar.

5. Life is like anxiety. There are no accurate lyrics, but it is thrilling.

6. Get up earlier than a chicken, go to bed later than a cat, and earn less hair than a bald man.

7. Play mahjong and eat spicy hotpot. Find a little partner, that's how life goes.

8. If someone doesn’t offend me, I won’t offend anyone; if someone offends me, I’ll be polite; if someone offends me again, I’ll give him a shot in return; if someone offends me again, I’ll eliminate the root cause.

9. I never hold grudges, and I usually avenge them on the spot.

10. Everyone has it when they are born. Unfortunately, many people gradually become pirates.

11. One day while shopping without glasses, I saw a handsome and familiar man. I wanted to go over and see who it was. It turned out to be a mirror.

12. Promises are like women saying they want to lose weight. They often say it but it is difficult to keep it. Everything is false.

13. When people do something good, they always want the ghosts and gods to know about it, and when they do something bad, they always think the ghosts and gods don’t know about it. We make it too difficult for the ghosts.

14. Don’t open your wounds to others. There are many people in the world who are not doctors, but people who spread salt.

15. Our boss is a little monster, and we are Ultraman. But when we saw the boss, we ran away because we didn’t bring the summoner.

16. If you give me a smile, I will smile back to you. This is not a friendly greeting, but just to let you know: I look better when I smile than you do.

17. In a few decades, we will meet, be sent to the crematorium, and burn to ashes. You will be in a pile, I will be in a pile, no one knows each other, and we will all be sent to the countryside to be used as fertilizer. .

18. If you have something to do, go directly to the topic. Don’t use your ignorance to challenge my blacklist.

19. Question: What do you like about me? Answer: I like you to stay away from me!

20. I only believe in two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

21. Ducks are too arrogant, rabbits are too mouthy, but I am a pig and I am very good.

22. Li Bai came to the roast duck restaurant in Rizhao, his mouth was watering, and he had no money in his pocket.

23. I never make typos, but I always make mistakes.

24. Help when there are difficulties, and help even when there are no difficulties. In front of a beautiful woman, it is revised to: If there is danger, you should save it; if there is no danger, you should save it if there is danger.

25. If being rich is also a mistake, then I would rather make the same mistake again and again.

26. Although he is young, he is quite heavy. I don’t have much left, but I want to buy a lot.

27. Don’t say that the world has abandoned you, the world has no time to care about you.

28. When there is a legend in the world, it would be a shame for the audience to be dissatisfied with the city's ups and downs.

29. I want to make a download software called Zier. Because it's so fast that it can't cover your ears.

30. When I love you, what you say is what I say. What do you say you are when I don't love you.

31. The weather is so hot that it’s like a joke, and life is like nonsense.

32. Some people even put blue eye shadow on me, which is an insult to me for giving me dark circles!

33. No doubt, I am the poor man in your dream.

34. When they are completely full, ordinary young people will complain empty-handedly that they are exhausted, while foodies will look relaxed and let me rest for a while

35. The first payment is I made the wrong drawing, so I had to scribble all the way down.

36. You see, there are always so many things that make you sad: ups and downs, joys and sorrows, impotence and premature ejaculation...

37. Love is poison, sugar-coated is too wonderful to taste. Just stop drinking it and you'll lose your life if you drink it.

38. Don’t be overconfident in yourself. There are many more people who can take care of you than you can think of.

39. For girls, gaining a few more pounds is not so scary. What is scary is that the bitch bestie has lost weight again.

40. Sometimes I feel that I have become ugly. When I take out my ID card, I find that I am worrying too much.

41. Life is like Angry Birds. When you fail, there are always a few pigs laughing.

42. If you wear something trendy, if it is too trendy, you are not mainstream. If you wear something sexy, if it is too sexy, you will be on the stage.

43. My progress impressed him, and he lost his eyesight from then on.

44. I said that I preferred Li Bai’s poems, and Lu You was very angry. Then my family couldn’t access the Internet.

45. I was so cruel that I licked my fingers and cried.

46. Xiao Ming never forgot the teacher’s teachings, so the next day, he got a pair of dentures.

47. There must be a way for the car to reach the mountain, even if the car is dismantled and sold in front of the mountain.

48. In this low-key world, I have to use high-profile to cover myself up.

49. Those who can act are not necessarily actors, but those who can pretend must be grandsons.

50. Everything has a price, and the price of happiness is pain.

51. I am small-minded, but I am not lacking. I am good-tempered, but I am not lacking!

52. You'd better let me kneel on the washboard. I can't stand the electric heater!

53. A woman likes two flowers most in her life: one is to spend money when she has the money, and the other is to spend as much as possible!

54. Two mandarin ducks share the same destiny, and a pair of butterflies are pitiful creatures.

55. I won’t bend down if money falls from the sky, because even pies won’t fall from the sky, let alone money.

56. Everyone has a dark side. If you say you are innocent, then I can only say that you are not human!

57. Sometimes, except for the lies that are true, everything else is false!

58. If a couple plays in the water, they will drown; if they fly together, they will fall to death!

59. Celebrities can become more famous if they take off a little more, but I was arrested even though I took off my clothes completely!

60. Ambiguity means that I asked you to borrow money, but you didn’t say borrow it or not, but only said your husband was not at home...

61. As the saying goes: When you laugh, the whole world laughs with you; when you cry, you are the only one in the world who cries.

62. When I see a beautiful woman, I first touch my pocket to see if there is any money!

63. Whoever says I am white, thin, and beautiful, I will be good friends with him.

64. Please do not disturb while you are in the shower. Please purchase tickets for peeping, 40% off for individuals and 20% off for groups!

65. Master, just wait, I will ask Buddha to grant me the marriage!

66. I am too pure, even my purity is a bit shameless!

67. If QB is used as a reward in the exam, then the country will become rich and powerful immediately.

68. The weather is very good today. After staying in the room for a long time, I am going to go to the living room to relax.

69. Question: Why is summer vacation longer than winter vacation? Answer: Because of thermal expansion and contraction.

70. When I am in a bad mood, I make harassing phone calls to others in the middle of the night, waking them up, and then I go to sleep.

71. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. If the material is wrong, no matter how hard you try, it will be useless.

72. It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually ran around naked for 20 years!

73. I am not a casual person, and I am not a human being when I am casual.

74. Thanks to me being fat, I can squeeze my belly when I am sad

75. Those who say I don’t need to lose weight are bad people.

76. Don’t go to men’s clothing stores to find women’s clothing that suits you.

77. I originally planned to lose weight this year and become a lightning bolt, blinding your eyes. Unexpectedly, I became fat and became a wall of nuts, blocking your sight.

78. When you go on a romantic outing, you won’t wear the back strap of your boyfriend’s bicycle flat.

79. When you go shopping with your boyfriend in the summer, he won’t always want to ride behind you. cool.

80. The man walking towards you turns around and turns around because of admiration rather than out of curiosity.

81. If you slim down your face, you will save a lot of cosmetics.

82. When squeezing on the bus or subway, you can do it with ease.

83. You know, it is very embarrassing to tell the sales girl whether there are extra-large clothes; but the clothes here are too fat, but you can say it with confidence.

84. Even the King of Tonga ordered the whole country to lose weight.

85. Genetics calmly tells us: cross-species love is destined to have no good results.

86. Yue Lao! Can you please use the inferior red rope to marry me? It breaks every now and then.

87. He Wenxuan once said to Li Qingyuan: The reason why you are not GAY yet is because you have not yet met a man who makes your heart beat.

88. Bah! My ears are pricked up, are you just going to listen to this?

89. I cannot stretch the length of life, but I can expand the width of life. I look thin to you when I am fat, so as not to look ugly to you when I am thin.

90. The only two things I can do in my study life are watch top students show off their grades and watch couples show off their affection.

91. Our country is rich in population and resources. But why are there still so many men who cannot marry wives? Is it because of the constraints of feudal ideology, which disrupted the ratio and number of men and women, or is it because of social regression that the system of polygamy has started again?

92. When I am impulsive, I really want to turn into an animal, even if it is just a hard-working livestock. Just follow the master's orders and don't have to feel the helplessness of being a human being. Or simply do a transplant and undergo a complete sex reassignment operation. Running into the crowd to make up for one's mistakes can also give fellow compatriots an alternative way out.

93. Singles’ Day is here. Birds are in love, ants are living together, flies are pregnant, mosquitoes have miscarriages, butterflies are divorced, caterpillars have remarried, and frogs have given birth. What are you waiting for? What?

94. Matchmaking agencies are dotted on the street. I also fantasized that they could help me open up sales. However, the final result made me understand what it means to be a father to a thief, and I was drained of my income for several years by the marriage sitter.

95. People have searched for her thousands of times, and the path has been smoothed. Suddenly I looked back and looked around, there were countless aunts and ladies. Occasionally, there are beautiful women who come to visit, and they are still married women. Most of the rest are basically unsightly.

96. There is an old lady who has been squatting in the tank for a long time. Give her more time to breathe.

97. My future is not a dream, my future is a nightmare.

98. A momentary impulse, a crisis for future generations!

99. With a hot heart, you can change the outcome. With money, you can change this result at will.

100. If you have money, you will spend money; if you have no money, you will worship God.