The only difference between me and Superman is: I wear underwear inside.

2. I am not a casual person, but I am not a casual person.

3. I am in the world, but there are no legends about me in the world...

4. Follow other people's paths and leave others with nowhere to go.

5. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually ran around naked for 19 years!

6. I would rather believe that there are ghosts in the world than believe in a man’s bad mouth!

7. If the water is extremely clear, there will be no fish; if the people are extremely humble, they will be invincible.

8. The one riding the white horse may not be a prince, he may be Tang Monk; the one with wings may not be an angel - my mother said, it is a birdman.

9. Time is the same as cleavage, there is still some space if you squeeze it.

10. One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers, unless there is one male and one female.

11. Don’t be careless about an animal that bleeds for a week and still survives...

12. I, a college student, have goals in life: a peasant woman, a mountain spring, and some farmland.

13. Women remember: they must eat well, have fun, sleep well and drink well. Once we are exhausted, other women will spend our money, live in our room, sleep with our husband, have sex with our boyfriend, and even beat our children.

14. In spring, I buried myself in the land at the entrance of the village, and in autumn I harvested many handsome men. Then I changed the name of the village to "Handsome Guy Village", and I got my wish and became the village chief.

15. One day, I dreamed that I had spent all my money. When I woke up, my pocket was really empty...

16. I have made great progress in losing weight. Success, look, all three of my chins are pointed!

17. The trouble with chocolate is: when you eat it, it’s gone.

18. Don’t wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly.

19. If my friends can sell them for five yuan each, I can make a small fortune.

20. A big belly is not scary. What is scary is that it is big and empty.

21. The biggest advantage of going on a blind date is that if there are problems in your marriage in the future, you can shift the responsibility to the matchmaker.

22. If a woman shows herself to be generous first, then a man will not dare to be stingy.

23. People are born on the bed and die on the bed. If they want to live or die, they are also on the bed.

24. Wizard, please tell the princess that I am still on the road of overcoming thorns and thorns. There are still snow-capped mountains that have not been climbed, rivers that have not been crossed, dragons that have not been killed, and beautiful women that have not been bathed... Tell her to continue sleeping!

25. My crush is a stunning beauty, and one day she will come to me riding a fire-breathing dinosaur. However, at the end of the story, I only saw her mount, but not its owner.

26. If a tree doesn’t want its bark, it will surely die; if a person doesn’t have shame, it will be invincible.

27. Do nothing but do nothing, do nothing but do nothing. (Dai Jianwei)

28. The true meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to have food to eat in one place, but to have food to eat wherever you go throughout your life. (Su Mei)

29. The saucy will return to the saucy, and the saucy will have the chastity of the saucy; the lowly will return to the lowly, and the lowly will have the dignity of the lowly.

30. If eating more fish can make people smarter, then I must have eaten at least a pair of whales...

31. Success in life does not lie in getting a good pair of whales. cards, but how to play bad cards well.

He made his debut at the age of 32.0 and is making progress every day at the age of 10. At the age of 20, you have lofty ideals; at the age of 30, you work hard to achieve your goals. The 40-year-old is basically oriented, the 50-year-old is popular everywhere. I play mahjong when I am 60 years old, and hang out everywhere when I am 70 years old. The 80-year-old Lala lives at home, and the 90-year-old hangs it on the wall!

33. When you were born, you cried and everyone smiled; when you left, you smiled and everyone cried.

34. Stand taller and pee farther.

35. Wear other people’s shoes, walk your own path, and let them find it.

36. In a few decades, we will meet, be sent to the crematorium, and burn to ashes. You will be in a pile, I will be in a pile, no one knows each other, and we will all be sent to the countryside to be used as fertilizer. .

37. Ever since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on me anymore.

38. You can’t have both fish and bras.

39. Experts look at doorways, laymen look at sidewalks.

40. If you don’t want wildflowers on the roadside, step on them!

41. I met a girl with a personalized signature: She doesn’t know how to play chess, calligraphy and painting, but she is tired of doing laundry and cooking.

42. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

43. Encountered an old Shaanxi’s signature: Ugly girls tend to make mischief, black buns tend to pick up vegetables

44. Encountered our teacher’s signature: Let me tell you that the teacher is very angry now. The consequences were serious (after his Nth blind date failed).

45. Encountering a writer’s signature: It may seem like it, but it may not necessarily be the case.

46. The personal signature of a love saint: What you have said does not count, the person you like changes every day.

47. When you meet the sleeping king in the class, his signature is: three full meals in the morning, noon and evening, and six empty stomachs before and after meals.

48. Offline on time at 12 midnight! Otherwise, the princess will turn back into Cinderella.

49. Hello, is this China Mobile? My name is China Unicom and my PHS is broken. Can you send China Railway Telecom to fix it?

50. I am an academician of the Advanced Diving Academy of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, a Nobel Prize for long-term disconnection, and an Oscar for lifetime invisibility...

51. I wish to be a winged bird in the sky, and a fellow traveler on earth. pig!

52. Don’t worry, I’ve lost my appetite when I see you, so what’s the point of talking about sexual desire!

53. Although I am sleeping naked, I can plug and play...

54. Five horses are quartering - do you want a piece?

55. God said: "Let there be light." I said: "No!" So we had dark night.

56. I pinned the KONKA TV remote control to my waistband and pretended to have bought a new NOKIA mobile phone.

57. I think I would enjoy the morning if it came later.

58. I can’t give you happiness, but I can give you comfort!

59. Life is so fucking fun, because life keeps fucking playing with me.

60. Buddha said: "It takes 500 looks back in the past life in exchange for one passing by in this life." I would rather exchange one passing by in the next life in exchange for 500 looking back in this life

61. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used them to roll my eyes.

62. I am an actor, and my eyes widen when I see a beautiful girl...

63. The reason why angels can fly is because they take themselves very lightly...

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64 I want to fall in love early, but it’s too late...

65. Oh my god! My clothes are slimming again.

66. I only believe in two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

67. Don’t speak English in front of me in the future, okay? (Recommended by Aini)

68. As far as your thoughts go, get out of here!

69. The hooligans are not scary, but the hooligans are educated.

70. Guests, please respect yourself, this little girl only sells herself but not her art.

71. You can’t satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human!

72. A man’s lies can deceive a woman for a night, and a woman’s lies can deceive a man for a lifetime!

73. If you cannot put your woman into a wedding dress, then never stop unbuttoning her clothes!

74. Go the way of NB and let SB have the say!

75. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge!

76. Zi said on the river: "It would be great to have a boat!"

77. Driving is not difficult, I'm afraid there are new people!

78. We are looking for little girls, and we will come with you to fill the water; I will fill the head of the Yangtze River, and you will fill the tail of the Yangtze River.

79. Love at first sight will fade away again and again, and will be exhausted after three.

80. A person is not alone, he is only lonely when he wants to be alone.

81. Born, easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy.

82. If I could see my back, I think it must be very sad, because I left all my happiness in front.

If you are satisfied, please accept it, thank you!