Hutchinson grew up in Alabama, USA. She still remembers hearing the word "sex" for the first time when she was seven years old, which was inadvertently mentioned by her mother and a friend in the lobby. At that time, my mother lowered her voice and reluctantly spit out those letters from her mouth, which seemed shameful. The southern United States has always been known for its conservatism, especially in Christian countries. Abstinence before marriage is a traditional Christian doctrine. Hilda Hutchinson, like most southern girls, didn't lose her virginity until her wedding day. With the long-term alienation from sex, she doesn't like sex. She has been faking an orgasm in bed for years after marriage.
Fortunately, she finally became a gynecologist. While answering the patient's questions, she realized that she should know more about sex. After seeing many patients' private parts, she began to face her body calmly and found a mirror to study herself.
At the age of 30, the first orgasm finally came, and she can proudly say that it was achieved through her understanding of her body. From then on, she began to understand, and then her sex life was wonderful, from a little knowledge to a sex expert. She hopes that other women can enjoy sex as much as themselves, and don't realize it as late as she does. Her advice is that you must first face up to your body and your desires-ten questions about sex that every woman should ask herself. This is her advice to all women.
1. What do I think about sex?
A person's views on sex have a lot to do with family education. Like many families in the southern United States, instilling the concept that "sex is shameful" in children will subtly become their genes and affect their sexual life in the future. This is Hilda Hutchinson's personal experience. Her conservative thoughts really upset her sex life. Her solution is: make a list, first write down the conservative sexual ideas accepted in the past, and then write down the opposite ideas. For example, write down "Only bad girls can enjoy sex" first, and then write down "All girls should enjoy sex". Whenever a conservative idea appears-whether in bed or in other ways, the opposite idea will come to her mind, from "You can't do this" to "Why not try", so that the psychological obstacles affecting her enjoyment will be gradually eliminated.
2. Do we know each other's bodies?
Many women complain, "He can't find my clitoris." We all hope that men can find this out, but have you ever thought that we can give them more information than the general guidance? Hilda Hutchinson often gives couples a suggestion, which can be called "clitoris 10 1". The key is: don't go straight to the subject, go straight to the lovely "little pea". Remember one sentence: haste makes waste.
3. What is the shortcut for me to reach orgasm?
When you are caressed, which part feels more comfortable? Which speed and intensity is more effective for you? Is there any sexual fantasy object that can make you reach orgasm quickly? If you can't answer these questions, find out the answers one by one-because knowing how to make yourself happy is the basis of enjoying happiness with others. One of Hilda Hutchinson's patients discovered that her sexual fantasy scene was a threesome. She said there was nothing to be ashamed of. When you clearly understand your orgasm path, you can guide your partner to reach that state again and again.
Have I ever asked him to please himself?
If you answer "yes", there is still hope. You should get the same reward for what you have paid. But many women often think that their partner's happiness is more important than their own. Hilda Hutchinson, a patient, has read all kinds of information about oral sex and doesn't think oral sex is unacceptable. When her partner wants to give her oral sex, she will hesitate-she is afraid that she won't know how to please him later. In fact, you think too much and let him please you. This kind of happiness will bring him satisfaction.
5. Can I recognize my body?
Your attitude towards your body directly affects your sexual behavior. There was a woman who enjoyed a wonderful sex life before giving birth, but after giving birth, everything changed: she hated her bloated figure and missed her flat abdominal muscles before giving birth. When her husband touches those parts that she thinks are failures, she will push his hand away. This is certainly not a good thing for sex.
Hilda Hutchinson asked her to buy a notebook and write down an advantage about her figure every day. After keeping it in mind for a month, she finally realized that her body was as commendable as before, but she had just entered a different stage. Of course, exercise will also help, it will help sexual desire and arousal.
6. Do I have a legitimate reason to have sex?
Review your recent sex life. When and under what circumstances did they happen? Then, most importantly, you need to reflect on the quality of each gender. There are various reasons for promoting sex, some of which are taken for granted: on anniversaries (such as wedding anniversaries and acquaintance anniversaries), sex evokes good memories of the past, wants to have children, wants to enhance mutual contact and wants to get back together; There is also impure motivation: I hope he falls in love with you, if you don't sleep with him, you are worried that he will leave you, and I hope he will stop fighting ... think about it carefully. When you look at disposable things with a more pure attitude, it will be better and more satisfying.
7. Can I list my five sensitive areas?
A woman should find the sensitive area of her body. For example, some women can reach orgasm just by caressing their nipples; Some women feel that caressing their shoulders and back to their hips gently and affectionately from top to bottom will not be self-sustaining; Some women's sensitive area is behind their ears-that's why some women like to blow gently in their ears, while others are just the opposite. Everyone's sensitive areas are different and need to be discovered by themselves. You can swim around with your feathers or simply with your hands and find at least five places that make you feel crazy. Then tell your partner that these are the buttons to open your body.
8. Do I have the problem of "vaginal anxiety"?
Hilda Hutchinson can't remember how many women rushed into her clinic and anxiously asked if there was something wrong with the size of her vagina and whether the smell it gave off would make people uncomfortable. In fact, what they usually want to ask is: Is my private part normal? This situation is like a man worrying about whether his penis is big enough and long enough. Hilda Hutchinson's advice is to take a mirror and observe the private parts, just as she did; Whether you agree or not, in fact, many men think that women's private parts are beautiful. No matter what men think, you should learn to like your body. In order to increase its charm, you can buy beautiful underwear, and there are too many choices of sexy underwear.
9. What does my face look like five minutes after sex?
After that, go to the bathroom mirror and observe yourself. Is your face flushed, radiant and smiling with satisfaction? Or on the contrary, frown and look depressed? Sometimes, the body is more loyal than the brain, and the body will not deceive people. You may imply that it was perfect sex, but your unhappy expression betrayed you: in fact, you didn't enjoy it.
10, should I tell him all my feelings?
No doubt, no reservations. Tell him how you will enjoy having sex with him and what will drive your body crazy. For example, when you go to a restaurant to study the menu, you take pains to explain to the waiter what you want: I want garden salad instead of seafood salad, no French fries, and mashed potatoes for me ... Then why don't you take the same attitude when you get along with your lover? Let him accurately grasp your needs and desires, and his return will satisfy you.