1, the pig has been reading for a long time. 3. Oh, my God! My clothes have lost weight again. 2. Don't sleep in class and get drunk on the wine table ~ 1. The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear underneath. I am not a casual person, but I am not a casual person. 3. I am in the Jianghu, but there is no legend about me in the Jianghu ... 4. Take other people's road and leave others no choice. It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. In retrospect, I actually streaked 19 years too many chefs! 6. I would rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths! 1. Clear water means no fish, while lowly people are invincible. 2. The one riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be a Tang priest; Not necessarily an angel with wings-mother said it was a bird man. 5. Don't treat animals that bleed for a week lightly ... 6. I, a college student's life goal: peasant woman, mountain spring, a little field. 1. In spring, I buried myself in the land at the entrance of the village. In autumn, I got many handsome guys. Then I changed the name of the village to "handsome boy village", and I became the village head as I wished. One day, I dreamed that I spent all my money. When I woke up, my pocket was really empty ... 3. I made great success in losing weight. Look, my three chins are sharp! The problem with chocolate is that if you eat it, it will disappear. Don't wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly. If my friends can sell them for five dollars each, I can make a small fortune. 7. A big belly is not terrible. The terrible thing is that it is unexpectedly big. 8. The biggest advantage of blind date is that if there are problems in marriage in the future, you can put the blame on the matchmaker. 9. Women show their generosity first, but men dare not be stingy. 10. Living in bed, dying in bed, wanting to live and die, is also in bed. 1. Wizard, please tell the princess that I am still on my way, and there are snow-capped mountains, rivers, dragons and beautiful women ... Tell her to go back to sleep! My lover is a stunning beauty, and one day she will marry me on a fire-breathing dinosaur. However, at the end of the story, I only saw her mount, but I didn't see its owner. 1. A tree will die if it is not skinned. People are shameless and invincible in the world. 2. Do everything, do everything. The real meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to have food in one place, but to have food everywhere all your life. 4. Sao belongs to Sao, and Sao has Sao Zhen; Cheap means cheap, and cheap has cheap dignity. 5. If eating more fish can make people smart, then I must have eaten at least one pair of whales ... 6. Success in life lies not in getting a good deck of cards, but in how to play bad cards well. 8. When you were born, you cried and everyone laughed; When you left, you smiled and everyone cried. 10. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it. 1 1. After several decades, we will meet again, send them to the crematorium, burn them all to ashes, and send them all to the countryside to be used as fertilizer. An expert looks at the door, while a layman looks at the sidewalk. 3. There are no roadside wildflowers, step on them! 4. I met a MM personality signature: I can't play chess and draw, and I am tired of washing and cooking. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation. 6. I met an old Shaanxi personality signature: ugly women are more troublesome, and black buns are more vegetables. 7. I saw our teacher's signature: I tell you, the teacher is very angry now, and the consequences are serious. 8. I met a writer's signature: it may look like it, but it may not be. 9. I met a lover's signature: I don't have to count what I say, I like it every day. 10. I met Sleeping King in my class. Signature: three minutes full in the morning, three minutes full in the middle and six minutes full after dinner. 1. midnight 12 logout! Otherwise, the princess will become Cinderella again. 2. Hello, is this China Mobile? This is China Unicom. My PHS is broken. Can you send China Tietong to repair it? 3. I am an academician of the Institute of Advanced Diving, Chinese Academy of Sciences, and I won the Nobel Prize for long-term offline and the Oscar Prize for lifelong invisibility ... 4. We want to fly in heaven, and two birds become one, and I want to be a pig in the same circle! 7. Split up-do you want a piece of the action? 8. God said, "Let there be light." I said, "No!" So we spent the night. 9. I pinned Konka's TV remote control on my waistband and pretended to buy a new Nokia mobile phone. 10. I think I would like it if I came later in the morning. 1. I can't give you happiness, but I can comfort you! 2. Life is so fucking interesting, because life always fucking plays with me. 3. Buddha said: "Looking back 500 times in the past life, you have to pass once in this life." I would rather pass the world by 500 times in my life. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them. I am an actor. I turn my eyes when I see beautiful MM. Angels can fly because they look down on themselves. I want to fall in love early, but it's too late. I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you. 10. Don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok? 1. You can go as far as you want! 2. Rogues are not terrible, just afraid of being educated. Guest officer, please respect yourself. The little girl only sells herself, not herself. You can't satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human! 7. Take the road of NB and let SB say it! 8. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge! 9. Zi said in Sichuan, "How nice it is to have a boat!" 10. Driving is not difficult, but there are new people! 1. We want a small MM and irrigate it with * * *; I irrigate the head of the Yangtze River and you irrigate the tail of the Yangtze River. 2. Love at first sight, then decline and finally run out. 3. A person is not lonely, but when he misses someone. 4. Life is simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy. If you can see my back, I think it must be very sad, because I left all my happiness in front! 6. Work QQ, refuse to chat, speak forcefully, and every word is gross; Punctuation marks, half price, 1000 words or more, 20% off; Emoticon picture, ten-month subscription, audio and video, not yet opened; Pay first and then chat, chat as soon as the payment arrives, pay online and provide invoices; Free monthly rent, single charge, weekend, business as usual; Wanted, 1. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first, and don't blame the earth for not having gravity when you are constipated. 2. It's a long road in Xiu Yuan, so I go up and down for help. 4. knit me a scarf, and I am willing to repay it with the care of my life. Otherwise, you can strangle me with a scarf! Men pretend to understand if they don't understand, but women are just the opposite. In order to cooperate with the successful completion of family planning work in China this year, I decided not to contact friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation. 1. Birds are big and there are all kinds of Woods. 2. The garden can't be closed in spring. I'm pulling apricots from the wall. Do you think I'll watch you die? I close my eyes. I thought I was decadent, and I didn't know that my morning paper was scrapped until today. 5. I am old, my wife, my wife. 6. I regard money as dirt, and my father regards me as a cesspit. 7. I drown my sorrows in wine, but I learned to swim in this damn pain. 8. I am your kite, the thread is in your hand, and only wind energy accompanies me. 9. Everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious. 1. Money is not a problem, but no money! 2. I am drunk and won't accept anyone, just hold the wall! I am like a fly lying on the glass. I have a bright future, but I can't find a way out. 4. You know what, big brother? Second brother's meat is now more expensive than master's. 6. Clear water leads to no fish, while mean people lead invincible. 7. Youth is like toilet paper. You can see a lot, but it is not enough to use. 8. Being pregnant is just like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it. 9. Friends around you, get famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well ~~~ 12. My mother always treats handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always treat me like this 13 Don't be lazy with me. 14 I'm too lazy to compare with you. I am not a casual person. 16 I am not a casual person. I am in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I finished ... 18. My name is God, my second name is Jesus, and my English name is God. The dharma number is Tathagata ... 2 1. The farmer's three fists hurt a little. In fact, I have always been very popular: I was liked by everyone when I was a child, and now I am a bitch. I am not afraid of enemies like tigers, but I am afraid of teammates like pigs. 24. Go your own way and let others take a taxi. 25. Rats are looking for cats all over the street with knives. 26. As long as you work hard, you take a serious shit. It's Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang). Because speaking of the devil, only when there is a long queue at the railway station can we truly realize that we are "descendants of the dragon". 30. Lovers eventually become family 3 1. Spring has come, and a flock of geese fly north, forming a B-shape for a while and a T-shape for a while ... 32. Lie down where you fell. 33. Don't be arrogant, you think I'm HELLO KITTY! 34. Yes, I have been thinking ~◆ Are women fat, plump, thin, slim, tall, slim, short and petite? Men are fat, pigs are thin, ribs are tall, bamboo poles are short, and wax gourd Professor: 90% of adult women in China are not virgins. The president sent a letter to the other 65,438+00% women. Have you ever heard of this? The girls shook their heads. "So you didn't get the letter!" ◆ "How much do you love me?" "Almost a dime." "Is that all?" "Isn't a dime ten dollars?" You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention. God lost his temper. If you live, who will set off the beauty of the world without you! 0 1. The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird! 02. Arguing with MM about whether a whale is a fish, I finally said "I also bring a personal word", and she agreed that a whale is not a fish. 03. The iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again. If the answer was a virtue, I would have become a saint. 05. Life can't be like cooking. You can't cook until all the materials are ready. 07. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them take a taxi to find it. 08. There is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women on XX campus will live forever ... 09. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? ! So be realistic ... 1 1. Summer is not good. I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind when I was poor ... 12. I used to have a pair of wings, but I didn't use them to soar in the sky, but I put them in a pot to stew soup ... 14. I'm not a casual person, and I'm not casual either. 15. Today, a group of Japanese people visited our school-to be honest, this is the first time I have seen Japanese people wearing clothes! 16. How far away your thoughts are, how far you go! ! ! 17. I am poor, my servant is poor, my gardener is poor, and my driver is poor ... 18. The bank said, "This is in line with international practice!" When he was in service, he said: "We must consider China's national conditions!" 19. It is not necessarily a prince riding a white horse, he may be Tang Priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man. 23. My friend's name in his girlfriend's mobile phone is "He", and then they broke up and became "It" ... 24. Don't call me if there is nothing, let alone something! 27. What can I do to kill your lover ... 28. The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet and learned everything when you went out. 3 1. Teacher! Just follow that old woman! I love you! What do you care? 33. There is no limit to learning the sea, and turning back is the shore! 37. I really want to call your grandfather in person: Dad! 38. Beijing University of Science and Technology cheated me for four years, so I plan to cheat the society with the knowledge taught by Beijing University of Science and Technology for life! 39. Friends around me, get famous quickly, and let my memories sell well ~~~ 40. When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's cassock ... 4 1. I have never seen such a disgusting school-set the mid-term exam on May 8! ! ! 42. House prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men ... 43. If I become an emperor, I will make you a prince! 45. I have never been reduced to an excellent college student, relying on strong quality! 46. Shit, I've been complained! The client said that the mp3 file I gave him had no image! 48. Reduce the number of boys behind each girl to six! 49. It rains in the east and rains in the west, and the tutor is heartless. So I will fight with my classmates in the exam! 50. Hugging is really a strange thing. We are so close, but we can't see each other's faces. What the RMB has to do is to follow the path of the US dollar, leaving the US dollar with no way out. 2. A Taoist who doesn't want to be an abbot is not a good Taoist! 3. If you can't bear it, bear it again! I know astronomy above, geography below, but I don't know English. A good horse doesn't eat grass when he turns around, because there is no grass when he turns around. 6. Life is like taking a shit. Although you try hard, you still get a fart. 7. Sleeping means getting up tomorrow! ! In 2009, as a post-80s generation, I was still giggling! 10. Soldiers who don't want to be soldiers are not good soldiers. 1 1. He looks fat, but he is still fat after taking off his clothes! 14. Young girls are precious, but young women are more expensive. If there are rich women, they can both be thrown away. 15. I swear I will never swear again! 16. I am short of money and women, but I am not fucking wicked! 18. Cherish drugs and stay away from life. 19. Half of life is bad luck, and the other half is dealing with bad things. 20. Is there true love? Of course, there are many in TV series. 2 1. Flowers bloom not to fall, but to bloom more brilliantly. 22. Stupid is too smart! 23. Let's start from the heart. Legally speaking, a sexual relationship based on money is whoring. If I text you, we will have a "trust" relationship. Although it's only a dime, I'm still a prostitute in my life! 25. Although I lied to you, you should believe me! 26. Women's tears are the most useless liquid, but you make women cry to show that you are useless. 27. Haha,,,,, Being alive is the last word. 28. If you live, one day your life will burn out, your body will return to the earth and flowers will bloom. The soul becomes a memory and lives in people's hearts forever. Everything in the world goes on, and so does human life. 29. In public, I often choose politeness, but in private, I often insult my manners. 30. There are two kinds of men: one is lascivious and the other is very lascivious; There are two kinds of women: one is pure and the other is impure. 3 1. People who are ugly are also special, that is, very ugly. The best among people. 3 1. I am very tired today. I just want to say four words, including what I said before and what I said next. Before the exam, I thought I knew everything. After the exam, I found that I didn't know anything. 33. It is better to spend money than to spend it. 34. An ugly person is a human being. Because you are ugly, you are a human being. 35. Busy-busy your heart. Without your heart, you will die ... 36. Hate others like fire, but burn yourself. 37. Children who live in fairy tales will die in fairy tales. 39. Don't test people. People can't stand the test. 40. Joke catchphrase: I am also a cow this year! 1. Push me again and I'll play dead for you! I have not only a car, but also my own! 3. If you like it, I'll buy it for you ... (after realizing that the other person is angry) Oh, no, it's "brother, I'll buy it for you!" There are so many people who look down on me. Who are you? I won't tell you if you kill me, but you haven't made a beautiful plan yet! 6. Not only am I lucky, but I also have athlete's foot! 7. Mirrors always reflect light! 8. Is there a P for handsome? Probably eaten by a pawn! 9. Give it to me, and you don't have to worry. There is nothing wrong! 10. Relax, I'm not a good person ... 12. If you don't thank me, I'll dare to charge you! 13. Don't tell me to bring it on-I'm in love for two generations! 14. If you ignore me, I will be a dog! 15. When will there be a bright moon? Ask Yi Zhongtian! 16. You can't reach it. Try stepping on your right foot with your left foot. 17. Some people are alive and she is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died! 18. You said ... Do you like me? Actually ... I started ... Actually, I also ... Well, I told you, I actually like myself. 19. Do you want water, water or water? You choose! 20. Castle Peak is still there, but it is a little red. 2 1. Hey, what should be said should be whispered. 22. Can you say something about the theft of scholars? 23. Damn it, don't ask single men such questions! 24. Zi once said: Don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital! 25. Don't think I'm out of reach just because I'm handsome. In fact, I am a sea of rivers. 26. Today the weather is fine, windy and rainy. 27. As a typical failure, you really succeeded! 28. I really want to get rid of this problem, but my tongue is not long enough ... 29. Three heads are better than one, and one is Zhuge Liang. 30. In this golden autumn of red leaves and maple leaves ... 3 1. One is thyroidectomy, and the other is irrelevant. 32. If you bother me again, I'll tie you to a straw boat and borrow an arrow! 33. The wind is rustling and the water is cold. Pay back the money you owe! 34. A: Where to eat? I am broke. Let's eat out, it's my treat-the hose. 35. See if there is anything left behind? There is a white tiger with Mickey Mouse tattooed on my waist. 38. A: It's hard for me to swallow this evil spirit without compensation. How can I let you die? 40. She is so fat that my thigh can't twist her arm. 4 1. If there is a way to learn, do it first, and learn to cook porridge from the endless sea. 42. The world belongs to us and our sons, but in the end it belongs to those grandchildren. 43. I have finished my homework! 44. Have you done your homework? B: Yes! Well, it's still warm under p shares ... do you want it? 45. Who is sitting in the village today? He doesn't even clean the blackboard! 46. How much is this pair of shoes? 47. I was really blind at first ... 48. Is this blind man blind? 1, two farmers beat the pig 2, killed the bird man I am an angel! Live well, because we will die for a long time! ! ! 5. Have you heard the story "The big pig said yes, but the little pig said no"? 7. Artificial intelligence cannot be compared with the stupidity of nature-because we advocate pure nature. We should keep quiet when listening to the lecture in the church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep. 10, people are not smart and bald! ! 1 1, you are electricity, Li Siguang, you are the only myth ... 12, stupid people are not stupid, but smart. 13, I'm always wandering with Niu C. 14, I'm not afraid of being used, but I'm afraid you're useless. 16, weeding day at noon, bow carving 17, hair disappeared, dandruff was more prominent! 18, don't call me if you have nothing to do, and don't call me if you have anything to do. 19, I would rather fight with the wise than talk to sb! 20. A big woman can't have no electricity for a day, and a little woman can't have no money for a day! 2 1, I would be embarrassed if I was negative that day; If you let me down, I will waver! 22. If the garden can't be closed in spring, I will draw an almond out of the wall. 24, life since ancient times who has not died, ah, nonsense paperless. 25. Steamed steamed buns are not for breath? 26. His knife is cold, his sword is cold, his heart is cold and his blood is cold. Shit, isn't this man dead? 27, the greatness of life, die under the flower! 28. If I lose this life, then I don't want the afterlife. 29. I love you What do you care?