This is the biggest feeling of reading this book. I thought it was an obscure book, and I needed to cultivate my feelings with it slowly, but I didn't expect that the more I knew, the more I liked it as it was.
Imperfection is the only beauty
Everyone likes the perfection in their own imagination, so they will accidentally fall into the gentle perfect trap. In fact, they love the world as it is, not what we imagined. This will make us more aware of what we are doing, which may be the true meaning of Qu Yuan's saying that "everyone is drunk and I wake up alone".
once upon a time, I thought I was a perfectionist, and I did everything myself. As long as I was told the work, even if I finished it, I had to check it over and over again several times, because in my inherent thought, no mistakes were perfect.
until one time, I lost the files of my junior brothers and sisters (in fact, they lost them themselves, and one of them was sad and tearful). At that time, I thought, it's over, and it's all over. Even if the counselor protects me at ordinary times, he won't be able to protect me this time (because he said what kind of responsibility he will bear for losing the files). However, until the file was found, everything I was worried about did not happen.
what do you think happened? Later, I learned to be tolerant of myself. How can I grow without making mistakes?
I'm uncomfortable
Don't laugh at me when I say it. Since I was a child, I was a cry baby. When I was a child, I was yelled at by adults for doing something wrong. My tears, like the water in the West Lake, couldn't stop (I was wronged, I felt uncomfortable).
Up to now, whenever I meet with parting (graduation should be the most impressive thing, and everyone goes their separate ways. Although this parting is for a better meeting next time, sometimes goodbye means never seeing you again), I can't help being melodramatic. Before others say goodbye, I'm already full of emotions.
if you feel uncomfortable, just let it out, but in what way, because only you know what you really feel at that moment.
Later, I learned to smile and sing.
thinking without learning is dangerous
Mr. Yang Jiang said that your biggest problem is that you think too much and read too little.
It is said in the book that positive thinking will make things develop in a positive direction, and then blindly avoiding negative thinking and thinking positively is actually irresponsible to avoid problems.
I still remember that every time the exam results came out, everyone was as nervous as a little daughter-in-law seeing her in-laws. Some of them craned their necks, some looked back and forth, some whispered, and some were secretly sad. Then comfort yourself back and forth, nothing, just this time I didn't review well, that is, the examination room was out of order.
I'm also an optimist by nature. Every time I get my exam results, I see my own results, and then I pick up the test paper, and I suddenly exclaim (Oh, my God, hold your little heart tight). I will do this question, but the answer to this question is wrong, and I just didn't play well this time ... At first, they laughed at me for being careless, but later, I found that the more serious thing than careless is that I never realized why I was.
Uh-huh, later, I prepared a wrong title book and wrote down every wrong title. No matter how magnificent the wrong excuse was, I gradually realized that blindly following the spirit of Ah Q and blindly avoiding the mistakes made again and again was different from Kong Yiji's stubborn description of "Anise" to everyone.
positive thinking is not opinionated, let alone unchangeable.
Self-esteem and self-centeredness
Mature ears of wheat bow their heads humbly and don't sway in the wind.
Self-esteem is often defined as the standard of negative self-evaluation or positive self-evaluation.
The so-called inferiority complex and narcissism, I think, are self-centered, or that no one can really achieve self-esteem. In fact, as long as you are a mature ear of wheat when you should be modest, bow your head humbly, raise your head when you need to be proud, and accept the praise of others gladly, there is nothing wrong with it.
I remember a friend, I don't know if he was born spoiled or so confident. One day, I went to the store to buy clothes. The color of the clothes was dark, which was not a big problem. But later, she quarreled with the shop assistant. I rushed over and saw that she grabbed me and said, you said it was obviously gray, but she just saidno. Am I still color blind? That adamant posture made everyone look embarrassed.
Why do you have to fight over a dress? Just accept it if you like (crying and smiling)
Later, when she didn't come back, she still went her own way, regardless of others. This narcissism made me want to get along with her, but I couldn't.
Everyone is a unique individual in the universe, just like there are no two identical leaves in the world. However, while pursuing the beauty of individual differences, we should consider whether there will be different beauty from others' position, just like the boundless sea that contains hundreds of rivers.
About patience
Admitting that you can't do it is not that terrible.
I used to watch horror movies when I was a child, and I was afraid of ghosts and wanted to be brave in front of others, so I said there was nothing to be afraid of. As a result, I didn't dare to get up at night to go to the toilet for a month. So if you're afraid, you're afraid. There's no shame in saying it.
There are a lot of things that can't be learned. Nowadays, knowledge is updated too fast. Although I have already decided to be a lifelong learner, I have to admit that no one is omnipotent, even an encyclopedia.
Now, when I meet someone who doesn't understand, I will say, Oh, I'm really stupid. I really don't understand. Although I'm worried that others will despise me, all my worries have not happened. Instead, I have been patiently explained, and suddenly I suddenly realize that I don't understand, which is more comfortable than saying that I understand with my inner guilt and suffering.
get rid of self-restraint, your ability is beyond your imagination.
The bad environment in which we grew up will affect us to some extent, but the wonderful life should not be limited.
When I first learned cycling, I thought "I can't do it, I can't do it" because I was afraid of falling off the big guy. As a result, as soon as Grandpa let go, sure enough, he kissed the earth intimately. My hands and feet are all black and blue, so I stumble and forget that I will fall. When I don't have those distractions before, I can hold my runaway bike and gallop freely. Think about it, that's a very proud thing.
Be yourself. Don't deny all possibilities for the so-called I can't. Opportunities are often reserved for those who boldly seize them.
Be kind to yourself
When we admit that we are not perfect, it is easier to forgive others when we are willing to forgive ourselves.
Be kind to yourself. Don't blame yourself for the mistakes made by others. Losing your temper can't solve the problem, nor can you be sad. The problem really exists. We should admit it and solve it.
I have to say that my diary is my best friend. During the ten years from junior high school to now, my diary and my ape dung have deeply influenced me. When I open it occasionally, I seem to still remember the scene of that day clearly, remember my mood at that time, and be proud of my beautiful words ...
Be kind to yourself, it is better to reward my favorite dessert or a book I have long wanted, or use it occasionally.
In a noisy world, a sober life is to admit the existence of one's emotions.
In a noisy world, a sober life is to grasp the degree, not to avoid negative emotions excessively, not to pursue self-esteem excessively, and not to pursue perfection excessively.
In a noisy world, a sober life is to be the master of emotions, because only you can perceive yourself and be the master of emotions.
It doesn't matter if the world is too busy. I'm beginning to wake up to what I'm doing. The world is too busy, I'm quiet, and my heart is still at peace.
The world has its original appearance, full of vitality, noise and hubbub, and I just need to grow quietly, adding a touch of fragrance to the world. Just stay awake and let go.
Special thanks to the book "Living Soberly in a Noisy World" sent to me, which made me live soberly. At the same time, thank you for your hard work.