In fact, all the old dirty things about marriage are heavy, and it is precisely because of the heavy that they are rarely mentioned, and few people are willing to mention them.

Many people will feel that their marriage is unfortunate, but the sadness that can be easily expressed is actually nothing. Only what you can't say is the most hurtful.

However, if you don't say something, no one knows and no one cares. Always let others know clearly the anguish in your heart. Maybe others won't understand, but those who care will always understand and support you.

I once met a woman who divorced her husband, but the reason was always difficult for her to say. Even though she was accused of misconduct by her ex-husband and ashamed of her husband's family, she remained silent until she enlightened her many times and had a heart-to-heart talk with her. She let go slowly and revealed the long-hidden secret.

A woman's ex-husband, an eccentric man, always tortures her in the middle of the night when she should be warm, and takes pleasure in it.

Not only that, her ex-husband still has some physical hidden diseases, and it is precisely because of his inferiority that his eccentric tendency is getting heavier and heavier, which tortures her in every way.

That woman is very embarrassed and wants a divorce, but the reasons for divorce can't be widely publicized. She felt ashamed and couldn't say it, so she suffered undue criticism when she divorced, but she still insisted on not telling the truth. She kept everything in her heart silently.

I told her at the time that it was not your fault. Even if you say it, you will be understood and no one will accuse you.

In fact, she knows, and I know, my words are just to relieve her psychological pressure and comfort her. What if she did say it? I am afraid that I will inevitably be criticized by all kinds of bad attempts and slandered by public opinion and rumors.

I hate to admit it, but it's true. Sometimes, I really think women are really difficult. Once the marriage breaks down, the public opinion is only inclined to women at first, and women are the first to be questioned. Even if it is clearly a man's fault, someone will always label a woman as "irresponsible".

If you can do better, can he not want you, or is it because you didn't do your duty as a wife and couldn't keep a man, or because you didn't do well enough that you ended up like this?

Being a man is not difficult. It is not difficult for people to live in the world. Men are equally difficult, but women's difficulties are really different from men's.

Men's difficulties are well known, but women's difficulties are a kind of privacy. Their difficulty lies in the lack of recognition and understanding.

A remarried woman found me. She uncovered the scar and told me about her unknown marital pain.

"The second marriage is unfortunate, but I don't have the courage to mention the divorce again. No one wants it for fear of being criticized by public opinion. I can't help but endure it silently. "

This wicked woman's name is Ru Lan (a pseudonym), and her two marriages were miserable. The only difference is that one is the past tense and the other is the present continuous tense. She thought about ending it countless times, but in the end she could only endure it, endure it, endure it silently, and dare not divorce. The reason is that many people may laugh.

When I asked her, the exact words she told me were that I was afraid of being told.

Rulan's first marriage was to marry love. The man's family was poor, but Rulan did not abandon him and resolutely married his first husband. Women's loneliness has always been dedicated to marriage, and so has Ru Lan. She came to her husband's family alone and intended to be a good wife and mother, but her husband's family didn't let her get what she wanted.

Her sister-in-law is not a good crop. For example, after Lan married her husband's family, although her sister-in-law was married, she still had the right to speak in her husband's family, and her hands were particularly long.

Give advice to my mother-in-law on how to deal with rulan. When the family is together, my sister always takes the lead, leaving Rulan alone to whisper. Soon after, her mother-in-law left all the things at home to Ru Lan to do, washing clothes, cooking and cleaning, and Ru Lan wrapped them all up.

Rulan's character is a little weak. She was afraid of offending her sister, and her mother-in-law didn't like her, so she didn't dare to resist, so she was ordered to walk around like a marionette and led by the nose.

But these are not enough to make rulan sad. What chilled her most was her ex-husband's reaction. The ex-husband saw what happened to Rulan, but he never said a word, never made a sound for Rulan, not once.

Later, Rulan and her ex-husband quarreled about this, but her ex-husband naturally answered her: "There are my mother and my sister here, and there are you here. Which side do you think I'm on? " My sister and my mother are both for the good of our family. Your mistake is that you shouldn't oppose them. "

I heard that, Juran's heart was completely dead. Not long after, she took advantage of the fact that she had no children and chose to divorce and left this place that broke her heart.

Juran, who chose to divorce, actually had some courage at that time. She also knows that for the sake of her future, she doesn't want to stay in such a husband's family. Even divorced women always cause gossip. She is worried, but she still has no real fear.

"Divorce once it doesn't matter. Some people will slander you, but others will support you. People's eyesight will always be poor. When you choose the wrong person, you will live a lifetime. How can you not make mistakes? Even if someone says you, as long as I am happy in my second marriage, public opinion can always forgive me. " Yes, although Juran experienced a failed marriage, she didn't lose hope in marriage. She is just an ordinary woman who has always wanted to find a down-to-earth man to have children for life.

Later, under the introduction of her family, she met an older young man two years younger than herself and never got married. At that time, she really didn't have much hope, and spent some time with a man, but the man's family seemed to be in a hurry to get married, and the man's family was also difficult.

Juran got married for the second time. She didn't think about the bride price and saved a lot of dowry. The man's family was very satisfied with this and soon married Rulan into the house.

Juran is actually selfish. Her first marriage was not good. Now she can find an unmarried young man. Although her family condition is not very good, but compared with her predecessor, the man has better conditions, so she agreed to this marriage.

Before marriage, her husband's family was always good and obedient to Ru Lan, but after marriage, their attitude changed, especially if Ru Lan gave birth to a girl but failed to give birth to a son. Mother-in-law's attitude immediately became particularly cold and moved out of those old things. During the quarrel, she said that Rulan was a second-married woman.

"What qualifications do you have to speak? You got married for the second time, my son got married for the first time, and it's embarrassing for our family to marry you. You are still so useless that you can't have a son, which makes our family lose face ten miles away. " My mother-in-law hopes that Rulan will have another son, but Rulan is helpless: "It is not my choice to have boys and girls, mother-in-law, aren't you embarrassed me?" But the mother-in-law said very easily: "If you are pregnant, you will have an examination, or you will not do it until you are pregnant with a boy."

If Lan doesn't want to, she will be treated worse by her mother-in-law, and now her husband shares the same idea with her mother-in-law, positioning all the significance of Ru Lan's existence on having children.

"When you marry my family, you don't contribute anything. You won't have a son. Why should I marry you? " On one occasion, Rulan's current husband slapped Rulan in the face during an argument. Although it is not heavy, Rulan is sad in his heart.

"I sometimes feel sad when I think about it. I really want a divorce, but I dare not. I'm afraid.

I'm afraid someone will poke me in the back and say that I have married two men, and both of them have bad lives. People will definitely think that I have a problem, not them. Even if I have a mouth all over me, I can't tell. That is the reality.

So I dare not. I can only bear the slap and bear it silently. Besides, I don't know what I can do. I can't do anything. I am really useless. "

After hearing the story of Ru Lan, people can only sigh in a low voice and can't say a word. A woman who goes around comes around, unlucky, has suffered from marital misfortune one after another, but even refuses to resist, so she can only endure it silently.

I know, someone must say that rulan is a stupid woman. What can others say seriously? Life is your own. No one put a knife to your neck to prevent you from getting divorced, or you are too heavy-hearted to let go and care too much about gossip.

But people's writing is awesome, and the power of language may be underestimated by some people.

Seeing a news, a wife wanted to jump off a building, but her husband didn't stop her. Instead, she said, if I don't stop you, just jump. My wife really jumped, which led to an irreparable tragedy.

A girl who suffered from infringement and unfair judgment was sitting on the roof, still hesitating, and the people below shouted while taking pictures. Jump faster, don't dawdle, it's a waste of time. Under the pressure of public opinion, the girl jumped, and the flower-like life was fleeting, but the people below enjoyed it, and no one thought that he had made much mistake.

The power of language is unimaginable, and its consequences can be big or small. What is small is that a person's life is likely to disappear under the pressure of a lot of public opinion. How can a thin woman like her stand it?

I don't think women are too weak. Her cowardice is well founded. She dare not risk her life again. Not because of anything else, nor because of those malicious public opinions. She really can't take it.

She is not divorced, and now some people will say that she is stupid and deserves not to be treated well. But what if she's divorced? Some people will still say that there must be something wrong with the woman who has been married twice and divorced twice.

I think what we should really reflect on is not the woman's mistake, but the public opinion itself.

A good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts June. A casual remark may not even be noticed by the parties concerned, but it may be related to a person's fate and even affect a person's life.

If you can be sure that your words are impartial, completely fair and just, and you can talk, then you can talk more.

However, if you are not sure, your words are always full of personal feelings and vent your dissatisfaction with life, I still advise you to talk less, or just shut up, please, and accumulate some virtue for yourself. Not hurting others is the greatest kindness.